by Tara Lutz
“Yep, Jessie can’t though. They really should’ve been giving me that disgusting tea, or been more careful with what I overheard. I’m the one that put Jessie’s necklace in a place where I knew she would find it.”
Dex couldn’t believe what he was hearing; Sammy was the solution they were looking for. They would have to leave before the voyagers found her.
“Does anyone know about this cottage? Rebecca has never been here, has she?” Dex started gathering the loose papers laying around the room, and lit a fire to burn them. Sammy shock her head, ‘no’, but he could see the unsureness in her eyes.
“Rebecca knows everything, I don’t know how, someone has to be helping her. I heard her telling my mother that she could tell what you were going to do, before you did it. This was long before you came here. Rebecca knew you were coming, that’s how I knew to watch for you.” Dex saw Gerald stiffen, beside her, and close his eyes.
“Gerald, do you know something?” Dex asked, carefully. Suddenly uncomfortable, the expression on his friend’s face made him dread the explanation. “Do you know how Rebecca is predicting what we’re going to do?”
“I might,” Gerald said. “I heard a conversation once. You’re not going to like it, Dex.”
Dex didn’t like anything that involved that girl, but he needed to know. He lowered himself into the black leather wing back chair, across from the siblings, crossed his legs and leaned towards them.
“Tell me.”
“It was a few months after you left. I told you Jessie and Rebecca became friends and she was at our house all the time. One night, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to the kitchen to get something to eat. She was sitting at the table, talking to my father. At first, I was confused by their conversation; it didn’t make any sense. She kept saying Jessie owed her, after what she had done to her, and thanked him repeatedly, for sending you away. She said she would find you and make you love her again, the way the voyagers planned it.”
Dex stopped him. “Make me LOVE her AGAIN? What the hell does that mean? I never loved that awful girl.” He dropped his voice when he saw Sammy flinch. She had never seen him angry. “That can’t be right.”
“She said, that before you left the first time, she should’ve asked permission to follow you, to prevent Jessie from getting near you. She felt the voyagers had failed her, and the protectors of the five had betrayed her, by letting their personal feelings get involved. Then, when my father protested, she told him that if it wasn’t for them, you and her would be together, and be the most powerful voyagers in all the realms.” He stopped telling the story, buried deep in his memory, to let Dex process his words.
“It doesn’t make sense. I didn’t leave the first time, I was killed in an accident.”
How many lies have I been told? His mother told him they had taken Jessie’s memory away when he left the first time. Instead, she lived through the grief of losing him. Her stories about him leaving and never returning, hadn’t been made up; she actually lived them.
“I don’t think you did, Dex, from what I heard that night. You were with Rebecca and then you met your soul’s actual mate. You left Rebecca, to be with Jessie. There is some sort of power she would’ve gained by being with you, and she feels that chance was stolen from her. She talked my father into getting you through the gateway the first time. That was way before they knew of a way to erase Jessie’s memory. After he saw what your disappearing did to his daughter, he worked with your father to try and fix it. They made sure you could be together again and allowed another voyager to protect Sammy. It was an ally of Rebecca’s that tricked Sammy’s soul, into that realm. She risked all the voyagers, just to get you away from Jessie.”
Dex didn’t believe it. There was no way, in any realm, he would have been in love with Rebecca; he loathed the sight of her.
“It can’t be true. What could be so important that she would put everyone in danger and ruin so many lives? I don’t even remember having any feeling towards her, other than hate.”
A rancid taste appeared on the back of his tongue, as the truth became clear. Jessie wasn’t the only one that had been given the tea. They used his wiped memory against him. If he didn’t remember the first time he entered the gateway, how would he protest when they asked him to do it again? Something else was bothering him about what Gerald and Sammy were piecing together.
“Maybe, she wants the power you’ve gained from the gateway?” Gerald filed through his recollections, trying to grasp more of Rebecca’s chatter, from so long ago.
“She might just be a jealous person that hates to lose,” Sammy offered. Dex smiled at her. He appreciated her simplicity, but he couldn’t shake the idea that Rebecca had more to gain than just a bit of enhanced power over the gateway.
“Right now, it’s too late to figure out what’s going on with Rebecca. We have to leave. Sammy, you’re going to jump with me.” Dex stood up and began burning all evidence that they had ever been there.
Gerald started to protest. Dex had promised to share with him the ability to change his vessel, he wouldn’t be able to do it without jumping with him. Dex spoke before he could protest.
“It’s not hard, I’ll explain it to you before you enter. But if it doesn’t work, we will meet at a rondevu at the specified time and I will jump with you then. If it does, we will find you later.”
Dex was told that two voyagers couldn’t jump together and, after he found Gerald, it was the first thing he taught himself. Now, after hearing what Sammy just told them, others had learned the same trick. If they figured that out, soon they would be able to pick specific realms to jump to, not just to the next one in their soul’s path, as voyagers traditionally did. If that happened, Jessie would become the needle in the haystack. The voyagers working against them, were getting closer to making sure, the five were never together again.
“We just have to figure out the locations where we want to go. We know that they aren’t going to let Jessie come back here, but they never take her far. There were signs of her being here in other realms, even if I was always too late to find her.” Dex was tapping his finger against his chin, thinking.
“I’ll come back here, you and Sammy pick somewhere random.” Gerald suggested. “If what I proposed works, then Rebecca, or any of the other voyagers looking for us, won’t recognize me.”
Sammy, where do you want to go?” Dex knew what her request would be, before she opened her mouth
“Wherever you think Peter might be.”
Dex didn’t have any idea where his brother, Peter, was; the odds were against them that he would be in the realm they chose. He might still be too far behind.
And remember what you promised me, Dex.” He hadn’t forgotten. This would be the last time for a while he would see Sammy as a little girl.
“I’m going to grab the journals, it will be easier for two people to carry them. Sammy, I think there is a sweater upstairs that will fit you.”
She was only wearing a polka dot bathing suit top, a pair of shorts, and flip flops. He wondered how the transformation would work on another person. He had only tried it once before, on himself, and still shuddered thinking about the results.
Gerald turned to his sister. “Are you ok doing this? You won’t be able to say good bye to anyone?”
Sammy face was set in determination. “The only people I care about are either in this room or on the other side of the gateway. I’ll be fine.”
She sounded older than her eight years. Dex knew it was the right choice to keep his promise.
“Then it’s set. Let’s go.” Dex picked up two journals and slipped them into the pocket of a leather coat.
Anxious to start their journey, Sammy was the first to leave the room, followed by Gerald. Standing on the porch, before pulling the door shut, Dex glanced down the hallway and up the stairs of the cottage, one final time. He pictured Jessie skipping down the steps towards him, a wide smile reaching her bright eyes, and a hole in her sock. He locked th
e door.
PART 4
JESSIE & DEX
PRESENT DAY
CHAPTER 47
The flames licked the air, diminishing the chill that settled in the air and took shelter in her heart. Jessie listened to their story and watched the images dance in the fire, as if she was sitting in the audience of a live play. She saw the school house, smelled the scent of freshly extinguished kerosene lamps, tasted the whipped cream from a fresh chocolate pie, and felt the cold of the snow storm. She believed them, because she remembered. The blanks were slowly filled in when she recalled the summer Madison days. She was able to inject her own recollections into their tales, without knowing what part of her memory she was retrieving them from. Jessie saw images appear, like a black light shining on the shadows of her mind.
Her thoughts returned to the present, to the island in the middle of the lake. Sitting beside the campfire, Dex was holding her hand, his fingers laced through hers; missing puzzle pieces, locked into place. She knew they were waiting for her to speak, but she needed the words, that were blowing across her brain like a cyclone, to quiet. Jessie squeezed her eyes shut and willed the thoughts to float softly to the base of her skull, into her throat, across her heart and land like soft feathers in her stomach. She looked at Sammy, the green eyes of her sister glistening in the fading light of the fire.
“Sammy….” she managed to say before her voice cracked. How could I have forgotten my little sister? Jessie saw her spinning in a cartwheel across the lawn and calling for Jessie to join her. The images were as clear as if Sammy had gotten up and performed in front of her seconds earlier. Happy memories were pushed away by the darkness of the day Jessie left; every moment they shared, came to a screeching halt. The other half of the film was still waiting to be played.
Sammy grabbed for Jessie’s free hand. “Do you believe us, Jessie? I know what it sounds like, and there is still so much to explain, but you do remember. You know who we are?” Her eyes sparkled with hope.
All Jessie could do was nod her head; she remembered them, but her voice had abandoned her during the process. She swallowed the lump in her throat, which was preventing any words from escaping.
“I believe you; I remember. I don’t know how, but I remember everything. The memories are even clearer than things I did yesterday,” said Jessie, her smile starting to twitch.
“To be fair, you were drinking yesterday, so that isn’t much of a comparison,” Dex said, trying to bring her smile back, to the brightness he loved. It worked and the laugh he had missed for so long, tickled his ears.
“What’s the last thing you remember? About us?” Dex urged. He needed to know what the extent of the damage their might be, from so many years of repressed memory.
“Where do I start?” She laughed, more from nervousness, than relief. “I remember the day we went to the lake, Sammy and I, hoping that you and Gerald would be there.” She knew his name was Gerald now; she wondered where he was. Had they lost each other, like Dex feared they would? “I was disappointed. I was sure there was more to what was going on, than just a chance meeting at the diner. I didn’t tell Sammy, but she kept asking me strange questions, and kept calling you, Dex.”
Sammy was next to laugh, the final release of tension. “It was driving me crazy that you couldn’t remember who Dex was, then Jed showed up, and I knew I was too late.” Sadness clouded her expression, but was instantly replaced by unimaginable happiness. She reminded Jessie of a kid on Christmas morning, another flashback jumping out of the fog.
“I remember the diner,” Jessie continued, “but mostly I remember the time from the other realm: the walks to school, swimming, our tree, sledding.” An abundance of memories attacked her awakened mind. She couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
There were so many questions, how could she pick one, without the rest rushing out? The parents she knew, were not the people that just bobbed to the surface of her remembrance. What had happened to them, the parents that Dex called her protectors? Was it really the tea that made her memory so hazy and disjointed? When they told her about the tea, a taste had overwhelmed her taste buds; phantom flavor stuck to the roof of her mouth, even after taking a swig out of the cup that was still clasped between her knees. Something was too familiar, but Jessie swept it to the back of her mind, deciding that first, there was a more pressing issue to address.
She released Sammy’s hand and twisted in her chair to face Dex. The familiarity that gripped her body, when her eyes locked with his, spread a warmness through her that had nothing to do with the freshly stoked fire. The light it was throwing played with the blond flecks in his hair and set off fireworks deep in his eyes. In them, Jessie could see their past and the future that was taken from them. She twisted her necklace around her trembling fingers, understanding, finally the comforting feeling it held for her. They were back in the barn, Dex’s arms were around her and she was happy, but she saw something else. There was an unhappiness that seeped from him, that was now apparent to her. How could she have not seen it? She had let them both down.
“I’m so sorry; I should have known. That night in the barn, I knew something was wrong, I wish I had convinced you to tell me what it was. I never would’ve let you leave, without me.” The tears were back, she tasted the salt on her tongue when she ran it over her trembling lips. Dex reached across and brushed them gently away.
“Nothing you could’ve done, would have convinced me to tell you, what I chose to do. I could hardly believe it myself. Promises were made, that I learned later, were completely untrue. None of this is your fault. It’s mine, the protectors, the voyagers that worked against us, but not yours.” He lifted her hand and brushed his lips against the back of it, sending shivers up her arm to prickle the back of her neck.
The image of Jessie’s past parents flashed in front of her. The elation Dex’s touch brought was substituted by bitterness, fear and sadness.
“What happened to Mary and Jed? How did you get me away from them?” she asked. Jessie saw Dex’s eyes move slightly to Sammy’s, then they returned to hers. Peter, or Adam, coughed uncomfortably from across the fire.
“I did that. I got you away,” Peter replied. Jessie sensed the guilt in his voice. She missed him too; the memories of him were not foremost in her mind, but that didn’t make them any less meaningful. “Sammy and I led them into other realms, after we promised that we would give up trying to reunite the five, and then….”
“And then, we left,” Sammy finished. “They lied to us. It wasn’t hard to mislead them; they underestimated me, they always did.”
“They’re still out there?” Jessie asked, keeping the fear that was brewing, in a secured space. There were too many emotions overwhelming her that the fear couldn’t find its way in, unless she let it.
Dex nodded. “They are, but we have voyagers watching them and they will alert us if they decided to enter this realm. You have nothing to worry about, I promise.” He hated those words. They had been spoken to him so many times, then smashed into pieces, like a glass figurine.
Sitting silently, watching Jessie across the flames, Adam found his voice. “You don’t know that, Dex. I’ve been on board with this plan since I met you, but we’ve wasted too much time. Jessie should’ve been told weeks ago, as soon you saw Rebecca.” Dex put his hand up to stop his friend, but Adam had already said too much.
“We said we would tell her everything, Dex,” Peter insisted. A log snapped loudly in the fire: an ominous sign. The noise startled Jessie. She wished they were inside, behind a locked door; she felt too exposed.
“What about, Rebecca? Where is she?” Jessie’s heart pounded in her ears and visions of Rebecca’s poisonous smile brightened behind her eyes, squeezed shut, bracing for the answer. Jessie would kick herself later for letting Rebecca insinuate herself: into her life, her past life. Certainly, she couldn’t have been so naïve again.
“Rebecca is here, in this realm,” Dex answered, and looked at Sammy.
<
br /> “She’s close, Jessie. That’s why we needed to get you here, this weekend,” Sammy said.
“You mean, she’s in the city? Do I know her?” Jessie kept the panic from her voice, but Dex felt it surge through her hand and into his own. She conjured up the faces she encountered at school, the coffee shop, Central. None of them matched the pinched face and bitter eyes of Rebecca: those eyes! Allison! She choked on the bile that crept up her throat. Like a tidal wave, the fear was unleashed.
CHAPTER 48
Her revelation was validated by Dex, her friend wasn’t really her friend. Allison was in her life to keep Jessie in the constant state of limbo, her soul had been forced into, for her entire existence. Quietly, Sammy and Peter left the fireside and disappeared into the cottage. Shortly after, Adam said good night to Dex and Jessie, the dampness of the deep night claiming another causality. Jessie couldn’t feel anything, her teeth chattering so hard she thought they might snap off at their roots. She couldn’t speak. Their story and its images rotated on a carousal, through her mind. Dex kept a tight grip on her hand; he would never let go of it again.
She knew the conversation would resume in the morning, after, she hoped, she decrypted most of what she had been told. As the fire faded and the early morning hours started to reveal themselves, Jessie was faintly aware of Dex lifting her from the chair. In a trance she trailed behind him, into the cottage. She hadn’t spoken in an hour, preferring to sit with him, in silence, and let the enormity of their situation sink in. Jessie wished for a notebook, to record her thoughts, giving her the ability to read the words as a story; not her reality. She was grateful to be reunited with the people she was sure of: Dex, Sammy, Peter and Gerald, the five. Halfway up the stairs, she snapped to a halt.
“Gerald! Where’s Gerald?”
Jessie was wide awake, but when she spun around, mid-step, to look at Dex, she could tell he was about to fall over, with exhaustion. She just learned her whole life was a trick, but the toll of trying to fix it was carved into his face. Jessie pushed his hair back from his forehead and placed her palm on his flushed cheek.
