Awaken My Heart

by Maria K. Alexander

  Ashley sighed and resigned herself to talking about last night’s dinner debacle.

  “Believe me when I say it wasn’t anything good.” Ashley dropped back into a chair and rubbed her temples.

  “That bad?”

  “I thought it was going to be because I messed up dinner—no surprise there. Nick saved the day by making a pasta sauce and salvaging my ruined meatloaf by making meatballs.”

  “Always the hero,” Patty said with disgust before taking the seat next to Ashley.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Come on, he was always the one to save the day in high school. If it wasn’t scoring the winning run for the baseball team, it was rallying the jocks for something. Remember when someone vandalized part of the set for the musical and Nick suggested a way to fix it so the performance wouldn’t be ruined? Then he got his teammates to help.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Ashley said.

  “Sometimes it’s okay to fail,” Patty said.

  “If he can offer a solution, why wouldn’t he? Think about his job. He is a hero.”

  “You think highly of him.”

  Ashley squirmed in her seat. “I respect his ability to think on his feet and turn a bad situation around. He’s a good man.”

  “Who happens to be the father of your son.”

  “Exactly. Doesn’t it make sense for me to get along with him?”

  Patty nodded. “Yes, but be careful you don’t lose your heart to him.”

  “Other than Sean, we have nothing in common.”

  Despite her confident words, Ashley couldn’t help remembering the ease with which they talked last night and even at lunch. Nick had a way of making her feel comfortable—a quality he’d probably learned while interrogating suspects. Conversations with him were interesting and not forced—unlike discussions with the handful of men she’d dated the past fourteen years.

  “What about the kiss in the park?” Patty reminded her.

  And what a kiss it was.

  “That won’t be happening again. That ship sailed with my lie.”

  “Maybe you could ask for his help with the Teen Life workshops?” Patty said. “He’s a narcotics detective, right?”

  “He is.”

  “We still need a speaker for the drug and alcohol workshop.”

  Ashley considered the thought, along with the possible repercussions.

  “Don’t you think it may be too soon for Nick to be leading a workshop now that he knows about Sean? Word is going to get out that Nick’s his father, and I’m not sure how Gina will react,” Ashley said.

  “You’re all going to need to deal with it. Why not face it head-on? Or are you afraid of spending time with Nick?” Patty asked.

  “I’m not afraid of spending time with him,” Ashley insisted, but felt her ears redden.

  Patty glared at her.

  “Okay, fine. I’ll ask him,” Ashley said.

  Asking Nick to help would put them working together, a thought that both excited and terrified her. She’d come a long way from the nervous, clumsy, socially awkward kid she’d been. And she’d work twice as hard to maintain her level of confidence to pull this off.

  ****

  The stale smell of sweat, clank of weights, and thud of rock music snapped Nick out of his Monday morning comatose state more than the cup of coffee he’d had on his ride to the gym. It was a quarter past six, which meant he was fifteen minutes late to meet up with Damon for their morning workout, something which his partner would surely point out.

  Nick wove his way through the rows of equipment to the treadmills, where as expected, Damon was halfway through their usual five-mile run. The man had been an exercise machine ever since they’d wrestled in high school. Back then they’d hung in different circles, but they’d had a friendly camaraderie from being on a team.

  Now, after being on the force together for almost fifteen years, it meant they knew each other as well as brothers—better than brothers, given Nick’s rocky relationship with Vinnie.

  “Good afternoon, sunshine,” Damon said.

  Nick grunted a response and programmed the machine. He needed to work frustration out of his system before he was ready to talk, so he slipped in earbuds and cranked up his own music. Forty minutes later, the machine ended the vigorous workout. As the machine slowed, Nick mopped up his sweat-drenched face with the towel he’d hung over the side.

  After stretching and chugging water, Nick met up with Damon at the weight section and picked up twenty-five-pound dumbbells to work on his biceps. When Damon switched to the bench press, Nick moved behind him to spot.

  “You look like shit. What’s eating at you?” Damon asked between sets. “More problems with Gina?”

  Nick recounted the story.

  “Fuck, man. A third kid. What’s he like?” Damon asked.

  “He’s a good kid. Smart and polite. A little reserved like his mother.”

  “Ashley O’Neil. I don’t remember much about her other than her being at the top of the class and her epic fall into the band at graduation.”

  “She kept to herself. Wore glasses and baggy shirts; used to read during school assemblies,” Nick said.

  “Doesn’t seem your type.”

  She hadn’t been back then, but she’d transformed during college into someone not afraid to show her feminine side, even if she was still quiet and reserved. Until you got to know her, that is. Once Nick had broken through her barriers, it was easy to see there was more to her than met the eye.

  “She changed and so had my taste in women.”

  “She was smokin’ hot the other day with the whole sexy librarian thing.”

  Ever since finding out about Sean, Nick had been doing his damnedest to forget how hot she looked.

  It wasn’t working, and the more Nick tried not to think about her, the more he did.

  They switched spots, and Nick positioned his hands along the long metal bar. While he pushed himself through an extra set of repetitions, Nick thought back on his lunch date with Ashley. Conversation had flowed easily. Then there was the kiss that rocked his world and had him for a brief moment wishing things had turned out differently.

  Finished, Nick guided the weights onto the rack. “I had dinner with them Saturday night.”

  Damon raised an eyebrow. “And?”

  “It was interesting.”

  “That’s the best you’ve got?” Damon asked.

  “She messed up the meal, and I ended up making spaghetti and meatballs. The three of us worked together. It was…” Nick struggled with finding an appropriate way to explain. “The most normal dinner I’ve had in a while.”

  “You enjoyed it.”

  “I did. Sean’s a great kid.”

  “And Ashley?”

  Puzzling and hard as hell to read, even for him—and he was an expert at reading people. But she was used to hiding her feelings. Some of that elusive shield was down the other night, and he saw through to her vulnerability—her love for their son.

  “She’s a good mom.”

  Not to mention hot, smart, and ridiculously logical.

  “You like her,” Damon said.

  Hell if he didn’t—maybe more than was healthy given their history.

  “We had a kid together. Of course I like her.”

  “That was about sex,” Damon countered.

  Drunken, hot, uninhibited sex.

  “I wouldn’t have had sex with her if I wasn’t attracted to her.”

  “There are women you like for only sex and women you like for more than sex. Seems to me you’re into her beyond the sex—kid aside.”

  He had a point.

  “What now?” Damon pressed.

  “Now we shower and head into the precinct. We’re meeting with the chief at ten, and I want to review my notes and check email first,” Nick said.

  Damon tossed him his hand towel. “Fine, but next time you’re late for our workout, my money’s on it being because of your pre
tty chica.”

  With thoughts of Ashley still on his mind, Nick followed Damon to the locker room. Getting involved with Ashley was full of complications. While part of him wanted another shot at watching the buttoned-up sexy woman fall apart in his arms, he wouldn’t make a play for her while developing a relationship with Sean. Now, more than ever, Nick needed to keep his libido in check, which meant cold showers were about to become his new best friend.

  On their way out of the building, Nick’s cell rang.

  “Hello, Mr. DiFrancesco. This is Ms. Peterson at Chartwell Academy.”

  Fuck. What now?

  “We weren’t able to reach Mrs. DiFrancesco.”

  “What happened?” Nick interrupted.

  “I need you to come down to the school. Gina hit a fellow student,” Ms. Peterson said.

  “What?” Nick fumed.

  “I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

  Nick felt a tingling at the base of his skull. “What’s the name of the student?”

  “Sean O’Neil.”

  Chapter Ten

  “I was halfway to work when I got the call,” Ashley said as she stormed into her father’s office. “What do you mean Sean got hit?”

  “He was at his locker when it happened,” her father said. “He’s embarrassed, but he’s fine.”

  “Who hit him?” she asked, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

  Her father sighed and sat on the edge of his desk. “Gina DiFrancesco.”

  “What the hell, Daddy? How did this happen?”

  “Reportedly, Sean closed his locker, and Gina was blocking his path. He asked her to move, but she wouldn’t. Then she called him a bastard child and punched him in the face.”

  “I can understand her being upset learning Sean’s her half brother, but I can’t believe she’d do something this aggressive.”

  “She’s been having a rough time, and she’ll be dealt with. Come, let’s go see Sean.”

  “She needs counseling,” Ashley said as her father opened the door only to find Nick standing on the other side.

  “Mr. DiFrancesco. I presume you’re here about Gina?”

  Nick’s gaze flicked to Ashley before settling on her father. “And Sean. What happened?”

  Her father stepped aside. “Why don’t you come inside, and I’ll fill you in. Ashley, go to the nurse’s office and check on Sean. We’ll be along.”

  Still fuming, Ashley nodded and left the office. The sounds of her heels echoed on the linoleum as she stomped her way down the hall. Ashley didn’t care what else was going on in Gina’s life. She had no reason to take her frustration out on Sean.

  Entering the nurse’s office, Ashley saw Sean sitting on one of the tables with an ice pack pressed against his nose. Knowing it would embarrass him if she overreacted, Ashley stuck to a fast-paced walk. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded. “Mrs. Carmichael said it’s not broken.”

  Thankfully.

  She tilted up his chin to examine his nose. “What happened?”

  “I went to my locker after gym class. When I closed it, Gina was there.” His gaze shifted next to her, and she felt Nick’s presence. “She wouldn’t let me pass and then hit me.”

  “After she called you a bastard,” Ashley added.

  His cheeks reddened. “That, too.”

  Nick exhaled, and Ashley could tell by the pulse in his cheek he was working hard to keep his anger in check. “I’m sorry for what happened. There’s no excuse for what she did.”

  “No, sir.”

  “It’s going to be difficult with her,” Nick continued.

  “No offense, but she’s not a very nice person.”

  “Sean!” Ashley had raised him better than to make rude comments about someone, even though it was deserved.

  Nick snorted. “She hasn’t been handling the divorce well, and finding out about Sean put her over the top.”

  An understatement, in Ashley’s opinion.

  “I hope the news about Sean went over better with the rest of your family,” Ashley said.

  “They were surprised but are excited to meet Sean. What are you doing on Sunday?”

  “I’m not sure. Why?”

  “My family has Sunday afternoon dinner every week. I was hoping you and Sean could come and meet everyone.”

  Excitement filled Sean’s eyes. “Really?”

  Trepidation was closer to what Ashley was feeling at the thought of meeting Nick’s entire family.

  “Maybe you should just bring Sean,” Ashley said.

  “Not going to happen. They want to meet you, too.”

  Figures.

  “I’ll check our schedule and let you know,” Ashley said.

  “Fair enough.” Nick moved forward and removed the ice. “The bleeding’s stopped, but you should keep ice on it for the swelling. Does it hurt?”

  “A little, but I’m fine,” Sean replied.

  “Yeah, you are, kid.” Nick ruffled his hair. “Things with Gina may get worse before they get better, but there will be consequences for what she’s done today—both at school and at home.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “I need to take Gina home. I’ll call later to check on you.” Nick squeezed Sean’s shoulder and stepped out.

  “Will she be suspended?” Sean asked.

  “I imagine she will be,” Ashley said.

  Sean lowered the ice and lightly squeezed it. “When word gets out Gina and I have the same dad, kids are going to hate me more.”

  Ashley racked her brain for a way to sugar-coat it for him…but there wasn’t any silver lining to this mess she’d made.

  Ashley lifted a hand and examined Sean’s bruised nose and face. “I’m sorry.” She cupped his cheek. “You’re strong and can rise above a little name calling, right?”

  A moment of uncertainty passed across Sean’s face before his jaw tightened and he nodded.

  Unfortunately for Ashley, she wasn’t as confident as she professed herself to be.

  ****

  Nick slammed his apartment door shut. After another humiliating scene with Mr. O’Neil where he had to hear how disappointed he was in Gina’s behavior—no shit—Nick brought her to his place. He needed to have this conversation with her in private and without Franny.

  Gina plopped onto the couch and was currently in the middle of what appeared to be a texting marathon. How her generation texted so quickly he’d never know. God only knew what she was saying or to whom, especially since her friends were all in school.

  Nick walked over and plucked the phone out of her hands.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” she whined.

  “We need to talk.” Nick sat on the coffee table in front of her.

  “About how you had an affair with Sean’s mother?” She crossed her arms over her stomach. “How could you cheat on Mom?”

  It was frustrating hearing her judge him when Franny was the one who cheated during their marriage.

  “I was with Ms. O’Neil before your mom and I were married.”

  “You dated her?”

  “We were together one night. After she left, I learned from your mom she was pregnant with you.”

  “Mom was pregnant with me before you got married!” Gina exclaimed. “Didn’t they have condoms fourteen years ago?”

  “Come on, G, don’t they teach you this stuff in school? Condoms don’t guarantee you won’t get pregnant. We used them, but they both got pregnant anyway. The only way to guarantee you won’t get pregnant—”

  “—is not to have sex. Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard the spiel from Mom.”

  At least Franny was still on the same page with him regarding that aspect of child-rearing.

  “Ewww. You got both of them pregnant at the same time?” Gina accused.

  “Your mom was a little over two months pregnant when Ms. O’Neil and I…and she didn’t find out until she’d moved to California. By then, your mom and I were practically married.”

  “Is he goin
g to live here with you?”

  Nick looked at his dingy apartment and shook his head. “We’ll likely have some type of shared custody like I have for you and Joey.”

  Her eyes widened. “You mean we could all be here together?”

  While Nick wanted all three of his children to know each other, they needed to take baby steps. “Not right away. Listen, I get this is awkward for you, and I’m sorry. But you can’t go around hitting people. You’re lucky you didn’t get expelled.”

  “I didn’t plan on hitting him…he was there, and I just reacted.”

  Her lower lip trembled, reminding Nick of when she was a little girl and got into trouble. Only now he couldn’t put a bandage on her boo-boo, give her a kiss, and make things all better.

  “I want to help you and don’t know how,” Nick said.

  “I don’t need help,” she said.

  He pressed. “The divorce has been hard on you, but it wasn’t your fault.”

  “No, it’s yours. If you had been around more, then maybe Mom wouldn’t have slept with Danny,” she snapped.

  And there it was. The crux of the problem between them…she blamed him. It hurt to hear her say it, but they were long overdue for this conversation.

  “I didn’t realize you knew about Mom and Danny.”

  Gina snorted. “Mom really needs to learn how to whisper. She said you ignored her, had no responsibility in the house, and she was lonely.”

  A gross exaggeration.

  “After you were born, your mom and I agreed she would quit working to take care of you. I pitched in my share when I was home. Do you know how many nights after I’d worked a twelve-hour shift I’d come home only to stay up because you or Joey were crying or sick?”

  “I’m sorry we were such a problem.”

  “Never a problem, peanut. Sure, at times it was difficult, but I never resented you for it. It’s part of being a parent, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.”

  “She said your job was more important than us.”

  Damn you, Franny.

  “My job is stressful, and I often have to work long hours. Catching bad guys can be tricky. When there’s a lead, all of us drop everything because not doing so could mean the bad guy gets away. That was no reason for your mother to cheat on me…on our family.”

  “She said you’d blame her.”