Awaken My Heart

by Maria K. Alexander

  “He can’t be there if she doesn’t want him there,” Ashley said.

  “In light of tonight’s events, we can push for the PFA,” Damon said.

  “The kid may be a user and an idiot, but unless Tanya gets him to sign away his rights, she’ll have to deal with him,” Nick added.

  “If he’s a user, he could cause more harm to Tanya and the baby,” Sylvia said.

  “If his interest seemed genuine, we’d look into rehabilitating him. After tonight’s incident, it may be better to get him to waive his parental rights and move Tanya to one of our satellite homes. Girls come here to be protected. With her safety now jeopardized, we need to think of what’s best for both Tanya and the baby,” Ashley added.

  Even though the cop in Nick understood Ashley’s reasoning for needing to protect Tanya, a part of him empathized with the man who would never know his kid. But a drug-addict and abusive father was not in the best interest of anyone in this situation.

  “Have they finished taking statements?” Nick asked Damon.

  “They’re all clear.”

  “I’ll take you home,” Nick said to Ashley.

  “I have to go inside first and make sure Tanya is settled and reassure the other girls. This is going to be upsetting for them,” Ashley said.

  “I’ll come with you. I can check the house to make sure it’s secure and want to take a closer look at your bruise,” Nick said.

  He thought by the quick flare of heat in her eyes she was going to argue, but she nodded. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  ****

  Ashley explained what happened to the girls and reassured them everything was fine. Even with Randy behind bars, the situation had spooked them all.

  Ashley felt rather than saw Nick and raised her eyes to where he hovered in the doorway.

  “This is Detective DiFrancesco,” Ashley began. “He checked out the house to ensure we’re all safe.”

  “It’s all good,” Nick said.

  Ashley ignored the low murmurs and whistles of appreciation from the girls. Who could blame them?

  After a few more words to the group, Ashley excused herself and walked into the hall with Nick. “Thanks for checking everything over. I need to go to my office and grab my things.”

  He pointed to her arm. “Did you take care of that?”

  She looked away. “Not yet.”

  “No time like the present.” Taking her by her uninjured arm, he led the way to her office and shut the door.

  “Why are you being so persistent about this?” she asked.

  “Because you aren’t.” He reached for the hem of her shirt. “Take your arm out of the sleeve.”

  “What?” She stopped his hand. “I will not.”

  “I’m not trying to cop a cheap thrill, Ash. I want to see how badly you’re bruised.”

  He was right. She was being silly, and hadn’t he already seen her naked? Ashley wrestled with the shirt, flashing him a brief view of her stomach.

  Nick leaned close and ran his fingers across the bump that had started turning blue, causing her to wince despite the gentleness of his touch.

  “The skin isn’t broken. You should put more ice on it when you get home,” he said.

  “I will.” She held up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”

  She twisted into her shirt-sleeve, but Nick held onto her waist.

  “Do you carry pepper spray?” he asked.

  “Yes, but I didn’t have it on me.”

  “You said something about having taken self-defense classes.”

  “I did a while ago. Last week, I contacted someone who will give the girls lessons geared to pregnant women. I’ll participate as well.”

  “That’s good.”

  But based on the frown on his face, you could have fooled her.

  “Nick, I have this covered. What’s the problem?”

  “Other than your life being in danger?”

  “I understand your concern. We handled it, and everything turned out fine,” she said.

  “This time,” he said. “But what happens next time?”

  “You don’t know there will be a next time.” She held up a hand when it looked like he was going to argue. “Please don’t give me the spiel about me being a helpless damsel in distress, yada yada.”

  “You’re not helpless, but I was freaked when I got your call,” he said.

  “I figured you’d want to know.”

  “I did…it’s just…” He paused and paced in front of her. “I want to tell you a story—one I’ve never told to anyone.”

  “Go on.”

  “When I was five, I was walking home from the pizzeria with my mom and Kate one summer night. Ma was pushing Kate in a stroller, but she started crying, so Ma stopped to get a cookie from her bag to quiet her. Two men stepped out of an alley and grabbed Ma from behind. One guy pinned her arms behind her back and held a knife to her throat. The other told me to get her wallet.”

  Ashley gasped and pressed her hands to her chest.

  “I didn’t want to do what they said, but I wanted them to leave my mom alone. Kate was screaming, and I was afraid they were going to hurt her, but I couldn’t move. I finally heard Ma telling me it was going to be okay and to get her wallet. I snapped out of my trance and did as she told me. The men laughed, pushed both of us to the ground, and took off.”

  “Oh, Nick. How awful and scary for you—for all of you.”

  “I had thought I was cool because I was a big brother, but I couldn’t do anything to protect my mom and baby sister.”

  “I think you can cut yourself some slack. You were only five.”

  “I know, but back then…I felt like I failed them. Someone had seen what was happening and had called the cops. Then Pop came, and Ma was holding me and Kate and we were all crying.”

  “Were any of you hurt?”

  “Ma had bruises where the one guy held her wrists before he threw her to the ground. I had skinned knees from the same. Kate was fine once Ma gave her that cookie.”

  “Did they ever catch the guys?”

  “They were idiots and ended up getting caught a few streets over by a couple of cops in the area who heard shouting.”

  “You were lucky.”

  “We were.” He leaned against the desk, pulling her between his legs. “From that moment, I wanted to be in some type of law enforcement. At first it was a lawyer.”

  “Let me guess, a prosecutor, so the bad guys couldn’t get away.” She could see him in a suit and tie looking sexy as sin as he prepared to interrogate the witness.

  He lifted one corner of his mouth. “Damn straight. I was on track when we met. I had just graduated college and would have been starting law school that fall.”

  “And then your girlfriend got pregnant.”

  “Between the wedding, working nights and weekends at the pizzeria, and preparing for the baby, I couldn’t keep up. I dropped out after the first semester and joined the police academy.”

  “Do you regret it?”

  “I don’t regret being a cop as much as I regret having done so has pulled my family apart.”

  “You can’t blame your divorce on your job.”

  “It was a contributing factor.”

  “I’d say your wife cheating on you was a more significant contributing factor.”

  “Which may not have happened if I didn’t have a job that risked my life.”

  “That’s crap.”

  “Our problems had started before her affair.”

  “You mentioned before that Franny wasn’t supportive of your change in career. You never told her about the mugging?”

  “No, and that was my bad, but I don’t think it would have mattered. Franny is self-centered, and while she may have been empathetic about what happened to me as a kid, she’d have thought I should have been over it as an adult and not allowed it to shape my career choice.”

  “It’s because of what happened that makes you a good cop. You’re passionate about your job
.”

  “Busting bad guys is a very satisfying job, but it’s hard on families. The divorce rate among cops is high.”

  “I’m sure there are plenty of relationships that work out…with the right person.”

  “What about you, Ashley? How would you feel about a cop as a husband?”

  His question was unexpected, and her cheeks flushed, something that happened much too often around him.

  She licked her lips. “I’m not saying it wouldn’t be difficult at times, but I’d like to think I’m level-headed and secure enough in myself to deal with it.”

  “It’s hard to understand unless you’re in the situation.”

  She shifted closer. “A relationship is about the wants and desires of both people. When my mother left, I asked my dad why he didn’t try and find her. He said it wasn’t worth chasing after someone who didn’t want to be chased.”

  “Smart advice.”

  “Not for a six-year-old.”

  “True enough.” He leaned forward, and her heart skipped a few beats.

  “How about you, Ashley? Why hasn’t someone caught you?”

  She looked away, and he cupped her chin, keeping her face turned toward him.

  “There wasn’t much opportunity for dating.”

  “Because of Sean?”

  “Partially, but also my father. I took care of the house, cooked the meals—or tried at least—and did the laundry. It kept me pretty busy.”

  “If you’d wanted to, I’m sure you could have found a way to go out. You can’t have been celibate all these years.”

  “I went out a few times but never found someone I connected with.”

  “That’s unfortunate.” He picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “You’re a very desirable woman. I thought so then and still do.”

  Her eyes widened. “Nick, we…”

  “Shouldn’t do this?” His free hand cupped her lower cheek, sliding it behind her neck. “Or this…?” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her cheek, then the corner of her mouth. “Or God help me, this…?” He slid his lips over hers, barely touching them.

  The gentle way he seduced her mouth aroused her beyond anything she’d experienced. She slid her hands up his shirt and along the hard planes of the muscles in his firm chest, the heat seeping through and almost searing her.

  She opened her mouth and welcomed his tongue, hot and sure as it tangled with hers, in a slow seduction that made her never want to let him go. He broke off long enough to press slow kisses down the side of her neck, his hands moving along her torso until they grazed the sides of her breasts. When his thumbs flicked across the points of her nipples, she arched her back and moaned. Continuing downward, he cupped her butt and pulled her closer, drawing a gasp out of her when her center bumped against the hard ridge of his erection.

  This kiss was different from the one in the park. The first had been wild and a little desperate. This one, while still hot, held control, as if they had all the time in the world and weren’t in her office.

  In her office…where anyone could—

  There was a knock on her office door before it opened. “Miss Ashley, Amber’s water broke.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next evening, Nick parked outside Ashley’s house. He rubbed sweaty hands on his jeans before picking up the large bouquet of flowers he’d gotten from the florist.

  Ashley had texted him earlier in the day—a brief note thanking him for his help last night with Amber. Once her water broke, the contractions had been fast, and it had been a mad rush to get to the hospital. With Ashley in the back of his SUV helping Amber through the painful contractions, Nick flashed his siren and quickly got them to their destination.

  During a situation where many people would have panicked, Ashley stayed level-headed and calm. Seeing her in action gave him a new respect for the responsibility that came with her job. Nick remembered how emotional Franny and even Kate had been during their pregnancies. It took a special person with a crap ton of patience to deal with that every day.

  Once Ashley and Amber were safely in the hands of the doctors, Nick had returned to the station to interrogate Randy. When he came back hours later, despite the dark shadows under her eyes, she’d been radiant as she held Amber’s little girl. It made Nick wish he’d gotten to see Ashley pregnant…gotten to rub her aching back or tired feet…gotten to feel their child moving in her belly.

  Now that child bounded out the front door and down the stairs. Sean carried his glove and wore the Phillies baseball cap Nick had gotten him—backward the way he wore his.

  Nick opened the car door and stepped out, flowers in hand.

  “Hi, Dad.” Sean smiled up at him, his delight at seeing Nick firmly stamped on his face.

  “Hey, Sean.” Nick was glad he didn’t hesitate before allowing himself to be embraced.

  “Are those for Mom?”

  The gold and brown flowers mixed with sunflowers were pretty, and while Nick may not know a lot about Ashley, he presumed she liked flowers.

  “Do you think she’ll like them?”

  “Mom loves flowers. What are they for?”

  “Grandma raised me to always buy a woman flowers when taking her to dinner.”

  “Like when going on a date, you mean?”

  Hell. Talk about awkward.

  Nick ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I guess it technically is a date. Are you okay with that?”

  “Sure. It’s nice to see Mom go out. She never has any fun.”

  Good to know.

  Nick nodded toward the house. “Is she still getting ready?”

  “Yeah, you know how girls are.”

  Nick certainly did, having grown up with three of them and one bathroom. He’d perfected the five-minute shower and shave.

  “You’ve been practicing?” Nick asked.

  “Just like you showed me. Grandpa helped me, too.”

  “You want to have a catch while I wait?”

  Sean’s face lit up. “Sure.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Ashley came outside looking pretty in a print dress of mixed oranges, rust, yellow, and black topped with a dark yellow sweater and heels. She waved and sat on the porch swing and watched them. Nick liked that she didn’t interrupt or draw attention to herself. Franny had wanted to be the center of attention when she walked in the room, and it used to drive Nick crazy.

  After a few more throws, Nick jogged over to Sean. “Nice job. We’ll try and plan another practice session before Saturday’s game.”

  “Awesome. Could we practice hitting, too?”

  “Sure can.” Nick nodded at the porch. “Looks like your mom’s ready to go.”

  Together, they walked to where Ashley sat. “You’re getting better,” she said to Sean.

  “Dad’s a good teacher.”

  Ashley’s gaze caught his, and hell if his heart didn’t stutter a beat. She wore her pale hair in a low ponytail she flung over her shoulder and curved over her breast. Pretty, but Nick preferred it loose.

  And spread out beneath her.

  The memory flashed through his mind before he realized it. Ashley naked in bed, her long golden tresses spread out on the pillow, her face flushed with arousal.

  Damn, he needed to get a grip.

  “Hi. Sorry I’m late,” she said.

  “No worries.” Nick reached down to retrieve the flowers he’d placed on the step. “For you.”

  She reached out for them. “Wow. Thanks. They’re beautiful.” She raised the arrangement and inhaled the fragrance. “What did I do to deserve these?”

  “You said yes to dinner.”

  Ashley flushed. “Oh. Okay then. Let me put these in water and we can go.”

  After dealing with the flowers and checking in on her father, who would be hanging out with Sean, Nick helped Ashley into his SUV.

  “Where are we going?” Ashley asked.

  “I thought we’d eat at the trattoria.”

  “I’d like that. Dad says
the food is fantastic.”

  “I’ll be sure to let my parents know.”

  Since the main lot in front of the building was full, he pulled around back where the family and staff parked.

  “Looks busy,” Ashley commented.

  “I was thinking the same thing. One of the advantages of opening it here is the traffic we get from the hotel next door.”

  Ashley was quiet a moment, and he realized it was because she was staring at the hotel. The hotel that happened to be the one they’d stayed at all those years ago.

  Something he’d never noticed before today.

  “That was a smart move,” she said and reached for the door handle.

  “Hey, wait.” Nick turned off the ignition. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the hotel was the one from the wedding.”

  Ashley picked at the hem of her dress. “They changed the name.”

  And the front had been renovated. It made him feel a little better knowing there were reasons he hadn’t noticed, and he wasn’t an insensitive jerk for not telling her.

  “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can go somewhere else,” Nick said.

  “It doesn’t. I don’t regret our night together.”

  He was glad because he sure as hell didn’t.

  “Me either.”

  “I regret my actions after, especially the more I see you with Sean. I—” She broke off.

  He took her hand. “Let’s focus on the here and now, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  She licked her lips, her pink tongue swiping across her lower lip and resulting in a punch of desire shooting from his stomach to groin.

  He shifted in order to angle himself better and leaned forward to take her lips in his. She met him halfway her hands curling around his waist. He pressed closer, one hand cupping her face, the other wrapped around her ponytail tugging her to him. She fell into him—as much as she could with the gear shift between them—and with a moan, slid her hands up his chest and around his neck. Her touch was like oil on a fire, causing the slow-building flame to ignite, and the pressure of his tightening cock against his fly to increase to a full-blown arousal.

  God help him, he wanted her.

  He broke away to rain kisses down her neck, loving the smooth texture of her skin that bore the light scent similar to the sunflowers he’d brought her. He grazed the sides of her breasts, pleased by her sudden intake of breath, before sliding under the hem of her skirt. She gripped his hair and yanked his mouth back to hers, her lips greedy and impatient.