Just Sex

by Kristen Flowers

  “So have you ever had a problem with your parents?”

  I could tell he was treading carefully with his question, but he sounded genuine.

  “No,” I said quietly, “Both my mother and father are great, but I do understand what it’s like not having a father around all that much.” Remi tilted his head and I could tell he was a little confused so I clarified. “He loves me more than anything, but often times he wasn’t around because he was working a lot.”

  “Oh,” Remi understood. “It’s tough, isn’t it? It’s hard to know how to get through things when your dad isn’t around to help you. It’s even harder if he looks down on you.”

  Remi drew in a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. He was looking out at the glittering city lights through the windows lining the wall. It was a stunning view, but I imagined it could also make a person feel lonely. Outside was a beautiful city bustling to life, but in this luxurious condo it was like Remi was isolated. A wave of sadness washed over me as I looked at his eyes, the city lights reflected in them.

  “I can imagine,” I breathed out, but I spoke so quietly I wasn’t sure if he even heard me.

  “And now he wants to step in and tell me how I should be. He wants to dictate everything I do when he was never around to guide me. At this point he just wants me to stop being myself, you know? He doesn’t like where I’ve ended up and it pisses him off so all he can do is go off on me.”

  Remi ran his hand through his dark, golden brown hair. It was quite nice, actually. I imagined running my own fingers through it. I leaned my head to the side to rest it on my hand as I continued studying his every move. He was still staring out the window. I didn’t know what to say or if I should say anything at all.

  “My dad wants me to live some kind of white picket fence family life or something. He makes it seem like that’s the only way to be a ‘real man’ and live right. It’s like he thinks that was the life he had and gave me but it’s all bullshit. He’s wrong. He was totally absent my whole life. How is that an idyllic family lifestyle?”

  “I don’t know,” I mumbled sadly. I didn’t want to sound like I pitied him because that certainly wasn’t it. I didn’t know how to handle this for more than one reason. To begin with, it wasn’t exactly the kind of confession someone could make better with a pat on the back. Secondly, and perhaps what got to me more than anything, was that I never thought a ‘man’s man’ type like Remi would ever speak so openly about his feelings. He barely knew me and it wasn’t like we were friends or dating. He was being completely vulnerable in a way that disarmed me because that was the last thing I expected from a playboy jerk like him.

  “He lectures me on everything now. I got to where I am now on my own. All on my own and…” Remi’s voice trailed off into a gulp. It sounded like he’d swallowed his feelings for fear of going too far. “All he ended up doing was creating a relationship that makes me resent him.” Remi closed his mouth and rested his forehead in the palm of his hand, gaze cast down toward his mostly empty plate of food.

  I could tell he was done talking about this. I completely understood the pain of growing up with a father who wasn’t always around, but now that Remi had shared all this with me I knew his pain was on another level. I inched closer to him without thinking. I hadn’t stopped staring at him the entire time, half in sadness and half in fascination.

  No matter how it was framed, Remi Parker opening up like this was completely unexpected. It was endearing to see a softer side to a guy like him though. I felt honored to be able to see a side to him that few else saw. I didn’t know what to do or say. I outstretched my hand, but quickly pulled it back; even if it were a friendly gesture of comfort I knew placing my hand on his arm was inappropriate.

  Remi drew in a rattling breath and then let it out loudly as he shook his head. Then he finally looked up to meet my gaze. My heart pounded. Even though there was lingering sorrow in his eyes his stare was intense. “So what about you? What are your long term plans?” He chuckled, “Not to sound like a dad or anything.”

  I was still taken aback from everything he had already said, but I was aware enough to roll with the punches. “My long term plan still centers on being a chef.”

  “So do you want to be the next famous TV chef or something?” He chuckled again. I rolled my eyes at his teasing as he grinned at me.

  His smile threw me off. It was cute and charming but, most importantly, it felt real. It gave him a boyish look despite his stubbly jawline and strong features. I smiled back and we both sat silently for a moment.

  “Um, no. That’s not what I want.”

  “So what do you want?”

  I paused, taking notice of his tone when he asked the question. I hadn’t known him for long, but I already knew that look in his eye. He was already going back to his old trick of flirting and saying everything in a sexually suggestive tone. I cleared my throat and inched away from him, “My dream is to open up my own restaurant.” I looked at the impressed look on his face and decided to tell him a little bit about myself. “Actually, I’ve already picked the perfect location and everything. I have a meeting with the realtor sometime soon.”

  “Wow, you really have it all worked out.” He smiled and paused before playfully acting extremely worried. “But if it’s going to happen so soon who will cook for me?”

  I laughed, “Even if I get the place there is still tons of work to get done so you won’t have to worry about that any time soon.”

  “And what will you have to worry about?”

  “Hm,” I said, turning to look out the windows to think about it. If I did land the location, which was a big ‘if’ at this point, I already had a plan of how it needed to look. “Well, for starters, I’ll need to redo the kitchen. Once that’s done I’ll hire contractors to get the dining, waiting, and bar areas done. I want the bar area kind of separated from the main dining area just to have a slightly different vibe, but it’ll still need to be cohesive.” I paused and looked at Remi, who looked like a student in over his head. “Do you even have a clue what I’m saying?” I laughed.

  “To be honest, not really.” He chuckled and shrugged, inching closer to me.

  I noticed, but didn’t mind. I felt a fluttering in my chest, but instead of trying to shut it down this time, I just kept talking about the restaurant. “I have a specific look I’m going for you know? And I want–”

  “Hold on,” Remi interrupted with bright eyes, “You mean to tell me you already have the decoration all planned out? Like to a T?”

  “Not necessarily to a T but, yeah, I have it pretty well planned out. I’ve had a lot of time to dream about this.” I turned to look at his kitchen and closed my eyes as I imagined what my perfect restaurant kitchen would look like. “I know it’s uncommon, but I want the kitchen to look homier. Most restaurant kitchens look industrial; you know? Some are immaculate and designed beautifully, but they’re just so sterile. I don’t want that.”

  Remi leaned in. I could see the same fascination in his eyes that I had felt toward him earlier. My breath stilled for a moment as I looked down at my hands twisting around nervously on the tabletop. He was quiet and waiting for me to continue, but when he leaned in so close to me it threw me off for a moment. I cleared my throat and my mind, but it was pointless. With Remi’s handsome face and brilliant blue eyes alive with genuine interest I couldn’t keep my head on straight. So I reached forward and took a long drink of water, looking out the window the entire time.

  “I want it to be homier than the typical restaurant kitchen, even if it’s just a touch. I’ve already picked out a gorgeous antique French tile. It’s pricey and unorthodox for a restaurant kitchen, but I love it.”

  “That’s great,” Remi told me. He placed his hand on the back of my chair and made my heart jump up to my throat. “It really is. It’s not just that you have a clear goal and passion. You have drive. You really love this and it shows. I’m not sure what the tile looks like, but I�
��m sure it’s real pretty if you’ve picked it out.”

  I pressed the palms of my hands to my cheeks as I felt myself blush. It wasn’t a backhanded compliment like the one he gave me before, but it was certainly a muted one. He was much more toned-down than his usual self and it was something I appreciated. I tried to push certain thoughts out of my head. I didn’t want to focus on what I liked about him. That was dangerous territory.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, hands still pressed to my cheeks.

  Remi gave a small nod, “Well, I’ll be sad to see you go whenever the restaurant really does get up and running.”

  It was a sobering moment of honesty and I felt it down to my core. The nervous fluttering in my chest grew and spread to my stomach. I needed to step away from him; his close proximity was making my thoughts fuzzy. “Would you like more?”

  Remi looked from my finger, pointing at the chicken, to my lips and then to my eyes. I gulped; there was no mistake his gaze had lingered at my lips even if it was brief. He shook his head, “I’m as stuffed as that chicken was before I scarfed it up.”

  I laughed at his lame joke before gathering the plates from the table and making my way toward the sink. I was carrying an armful of them and just when I was starting to think maybe I should have considered two trips one of them slipped from my hand. It smashed down on the floor with a shatter. I froze, embarrassment flooding over me. I could already feel the heat in my cheeks.

  “Shit,” I cursed before setting the surviving plates in the sink. “Oh fuck no. No, no, no,” I mumbled frantically under my breath when I saw the plate had completely broken into a million pieces on the floor. “Crap,” I crouched down to pick up the broken pieces from the otherwise immaculate kitchen floor.

  I didn’t hear Remi’s footsteps when he walked up behind me. I only knew he was there when I felt a large, warm hand gently grab my arm to pull me back up. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll get it,” he told me in a warm voice.

  I shakily turned around to face him with my heart thumping in my chest. He didn’t let go of my arm. As soon as our eyes locked, I held my breath. I could still feel his firm grasp on me. The warmth of his hand spread all over my skin and sunk into my bones. My heart beat so fast I wondered if he could hear it. It felt like he was trying to stare right into me and not just look into my eyes. It was too much and before I knew what I was doing I spoke up, “No, I need to pick up the pieces. I need to pick up the broken pieces.”

  Remi shushed me. I stared at him. It wasn’t rude or bossy. He just wanted to keep me in this moment even though it shouldn’t have started at all; but I stood rooted to the spot. My pulse thundered in my ears and drowned out the sound of the voice in my head urging me to stop this. He leaned down closer and closer. He was so close I could feel his warm breath under my nose.

  My whole world went still.

  The instant his lips brushed mine a million bells went off in my head and finally pulled me to my senses. I had to resist this, no matter how hard it was. I twisted my arm and pulled away.

  “We… I shouldn’t,” I whispered.

  “Live in the moment for once and stop thinking about consequences,” he said softly.

  He leaned in again and this time I melted into him. The moment his lips pressed against mine was explosive. My heart rate skyrocketed and the thundering pulse in my ears was deafening. I felt every inch of my body move in toward him when he pulled me closer, his scent enveloping my world. I pressed into him as he ran the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. I could taste the meal I had made for him on his tongue. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

  He deepened the kiss and I had to come up for air. I drew in a deep breath, greedily as if I had just spent an hour underwater. He ran his hand through my dirty blonde hair. His blue eyes were shining with awe in a different way than when he looked at me in fascination earlier. He ran his thumb over my lips and I held my breath. I had always been slightly self-conscious about my lips with the top one being rather thin, but he seemed to like it. He cupped my cheek and kissed me again. His hand trailed from the small of my back to my hip before slowly sliding up my side.

  His movements went from slow and admiring to full of desire. He kissed me deep and passionate. He placed his hand at the side of my chest. I pressed my breasts into his body. He held the back of my head firmly as he kissed me hard. I pushed my head back and looked up, gasping for air. I gasped not just because I needed to catch my breath, but because this was all so overwhelming.

  He ran his hand up, slightly grazing the side of my breast, to cup my face between both hands. He stared me in the eyes and smiled; it was a small smile, but it was sweet and unexpected. It was the perfect set-up for the next kiss. He kissed me fervently and I was so lost in it that I didn’t immediately notice he was slowly walking me backward.

  He was walking me toward the bedroom and I had one brief moment of clarity.

  Every bone in my body screamed to run away.

  I knew it was so wrong, but I didn’t want to stop. I knew deep down that I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me.

  But at some point I said screw it. I’d deal with the consequences afterward.

  I half expected her to pull away from me and run screaming out the door, but she didn’t. Despite how deep into the kiss I was, I was still paying close attention to her body language for any signs that I needed to quit. I knew she was nervous. We barely knew each other, I was her boss, and I had a rather unflattering reputation.

  But this was different. She wasn't just some hot piece of ass I wanted to bang and be done with. She wasn't an airhead who’s only interesting feature was hidden by a tight, short dress. Evelyn was gorgeous, that was true, but it was in a different way than the women I usually went to bed with. She had a cuteness to her—a natural beauty. But what drew me to her the most was her personality. She had real goals and ambitions. She had the drive and skill to get where she wanted in life. She was independent and sharp-witted. Unmistakably professional and sweet even though she had a unique spunk to her. She kept my attention like no other woman had.

  I stopped before we walked into my bedroom and pulled away from the kiss to look at her. She stared right back; I could see her nerves and excitement in her gray-blue eyes. Even in the dim light of the hallway, I could see her eyes shine with desire. I never knew what it was like to want someone the way I wanted her. I kissed her again, tasting her lips with a smile.

  I loved the way her warm breath fanned out over my skin. Her body pressed into mine. My hand landed flat on her back as I pulled her in tighter, I could practically feel her heart pounding against me. I hooked my finger into one of the belt loops of her jeans and stepped forward. She walked with me and the two of us made our way inside the bedroom. I guided her toward the bed.

  I never bothered to make my bed so the comforter was a jumbled mess on one side with pillows strewn about. I paused the kiss, but didn't pull away from her lips. I could feel her trembling with anticipation as I slipped my hands under the hem of her shirt and held them there to see if she pulled away. She stood stock-still as I moved them up a little more, feeling the smooth skin of her flat stomach. I felt her tremble and her breath hitch. I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me, but I still didn’t pull away.

  My hands brushed higher, stopping just when the tips of my fingers grazed the bottom of her bra. She went still. I pulled back to look into her eyes one last time before kissing her hard and fast, moving my hands to her back. I quickly unclasped her bra and could have sworn she squealed into my mouth. I smiled against her lips.

  “What,” she whispered somewhat defensively.

  “Nothing.” I whispered, nibbling at her lower lip.

  She stared at me suspiciously, but I just kissed the corner of her lips and then her chin. She dropped her head back and drew a breath in. Instantly, I pressed my lips to her exposed neck. She let out her heavy breath when I laid a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the si
de of her neck. I sucked gently and ran my tongue over the spot. I moved my hands back down to her stomach and just enjoyed how her warm skin felt against my hands. I kissed down to her collarbone and then licked the little dip between them. That was when I finally gripped the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled it up, not breaking eye contact until the fabric came between our faces. She raised her arms as I lifted the shirt up over her head. I tossed it casually aside and pulled off her bra.

  I took a step back, holding both her hands as I looked at her. I loved the way she looked at me, but not nearly as much as I loved her confidence in standing topless. Her cheeks had blushed a light shade of red, but she still stood strong. I pulled her toward me and kissed her fiercely, hands traveling up her warm body until I reached her breasts. I brushed across them slowly at first before moving in and running my thumbs over her nipples. She shuddered. I loved getting a response from her. I took a few steps until the backs of her legs hit the bed and she stumbled, but I held her up to keep her from falling back.

  “Not just yet,” I whispered against her lips.