Confessions of an Event Planner: Case Studies From the Real World of Events--How to Handle the Unexpected and How to Be a Master of Discretion

by Judy Allen

  This is a resort that prides itself on their high staff-to-guest ratio and how well their staff remembers and treats repeat guests. Their staff takes great pride in being able to greet return clients by name, knowing when they last stayed at the resort and even how they liked their morning coffee. Now I am placed in the position of having the hotel quietly pass the word to employees NOT to remember this very unforgettable guest as well as the CompanyPres, and it has to be done with finesse. Actually, this really needed to be done regardless whether TheMistress had shown up or not. Last thing we want to happen is to have an employee insisting in front of CompanyPres’s wife or employees that they remembered him from his last visit when he was traveling with the girl with the beautiful long, blonde hair. If his behavior had been proper while out and about at the resort and if TheMistress wasn’t joining him on this trip, I could have passed off the girl with the beautiful long, blonde hair as one of my program directors who came down to assist me—I do have someone on staff that fits the bill—if an awkward moment presented itself, but not with TheMistress here now as well. I need to reach Dee Dee and give her a heads-up on who else has joined the flight and make sure that she advises the hotel staff handling the baggage that they are not to make mention of any past visits to anyone. Then I need to find the hotel general manager and discuss how best to handle this situation with his staff so that there are no slipups. We have to make sure that the message gets communicated to everyone throughout the rotating shifts and it is handled with the utmost of discretion.

  The motor coaches made good time and arrived almost on schedule. It was an uneventful transfer, Dee Dee said. A Jamaican scratch band was set up at the front to welcome the guests. One man looked positively ancient but happy to be a part of the welcome festivities.

  I’d made sure that, on top of their fee, they received refreshments after their performance was over and they were very happy. The children in the group were fascinated by the band musicians, who were playing homemade instruments that had been crafted from everything from car muffler pipes to an empty can. Welcome drinks and food were also served by the group registration desk but the first stop for most was the bathrooms, as the place they were to have stopped along the way wasn’t open! That DOES NOT make me happy.

  I caught CompanyPres mopping his brow with one of the cool cloths. I’m not sure if he was sweating because of the heat or the situation he’d gotten himself into. TheMistress was hovering a shade too close for his comfort as hotel bell staff moved in to help the VIPs with their bags and escort them to their rooms. I am sure he noted some familiar smiling faces in the crowd. I had Dee Dee step in and pull TheMistress away on the pretense of showing her the setup for this evening’s welcome reception. VicePres looked like he was about to say he’d join them but I deliberately stepped in to ask his opinion about something else. CompanyPres visibly relaxed as TheMistress was moved out of sight. CompanyPres Mrs. was happily smiling, chatting with company employees and their families, and making sure that they had had something to eat and drink. She was doing an excellent job in the role of the boss’s wife. Some executive wives on these trips forget that they have a job to do, and schmoozing and making the other spouses feel comfortable is a big part of that. So far, so good. Having a wife implode while on a program—especially with the kids present—won’t happen under our care if we can help it.

  Sigh. Tonight’s Craft Village theme party went well. A replica of a Caribbean marketplace was set up on the beach among food stations featuring local Jamaican favorites such as jerk chicken and pork, curried goat, spicy patties, rice and peas and the like. The guests were given play money with the company logo on it to use to buy fun trinkets and they had fun bartering for the goods. A reggae band played in the background. It was a light and low-key beginning to their stay. We wanted something that would have the guests up and about, mixing and mingling and getting to know one another. The craft booths served as icebreakers and gave the attendees something to comment on. If we had just served a sit-down dinner no one would really have interacted, and on spousal programs it’s important to make everyone feel comfortable as soon as possible. The kids ate earlier in the evening and were off under supervised care having their own party.

  Need to talk to the hotel and TheMistress about changing her suite. She was too visible on the balcony this evening and if anyone should step outside and join her for a bit of air they would be seen easily and identified. TheMistress had declined coming to this evening’s event, citing company work demands, and had asked that a hearty sampling of food and drinks be sent up to her room. Dee Dee refrained herself from asking if she would like service for two or three—she’s still not convinced something isn’t going on with VicePres, too. We were well aware of what “hearty” meant, especially since she was no more than a size 0 or 2 at the most. We were able to offer up a plausible excuse to CompanyPres Mrs. when she couldn’t locate her husband for a period of time and intercepted him on his way back to the party to let him know the Mrs. had been looking for him.

  One day down.

  DECEMBER 20

  Today was an all-day meeting. There were coffee breaks and lunch, but other than that they were in the meeting room most of the day. What was unusual about this meeting was that both spouses and children were encouraged to attend and they did, even with a beach beckoning. It seemed like they were grooming the kids to be their up-and-coming sales force—all the kids we spoke to said that they wanted to work for the same company when they grew up.

  CompanyPres said he wanted all the shades in the meeting room drawn; he had decided that he didn’t want the blue sky and palm trees swaying in the breeze to distract them from the meeting and the message at hand. At least we got him to compromise a little and let them take their coffee breaks and lunch outside in a stimulating ocean breeze and ocean view setting that would clear their minds and return them to the meeting room feeling refreshed and ready to go again.

  After everyone settled in, we stayed at the back of the room for a few moments to make sure that all was fine before we left to take care of other matters. One of the other program directors was stationed outside the meeting room in case anyone needed anything. Their welcome address took us completely by surprise as everyone stood to sing their company’s sales theme song, complete with accompanying hand motions. Dee Dee and I got the giggles around about the time they were singing about how they loved the company right down to their toes, and as they bent over we quickly had to leave the room! We made sure we were a safe distance away before we doubled over with laughter. Not professional, I know, but if anyone had seen it they would have admired our restraint. They were so serious about it, too! It was like watching the Step-ford Sales Force in action. Even the children attending knew all the words and exactly what to do.

  We swore we’d be better behaved when we went back to check in at coffee break time. That was our hope, at least. The program director outside the meeting room contacted me and asked if, when we returned, we could bring a couple of large sheets and a large bowl, which I quickly rounded up. I had no idea what they were going to be used for but I soon found out. Apparently some of the senior execs had promised to shave off their hair and mustaches if their sales team made quota and they were about to make good on that bet. I left after delivering what they needed, just in case another rousing chorus of the company song was to accompany the shearing process and I took Dee Dee with me. I didn’t trust either of us to be able to stifle a case of the giggles if they broke out in song again and I wanted to set a good example. Maybe there had been additional reasons CompanyPres wanted the shades drawn.

  I can’t believe that CompanyPres and VicePres could stand there and sing about loving their job to the bottom of their toes with a straight face. TheMistress, however, didn’t have to worry about that. She was hard at “work” on her tan down on the beach. Her attire was definitely more modest than before, but not by much. She was still turning heads but the thong had been replaced by a full bikini botto
m. I was just happy she was far away from the meeting room, CompanyPres, his Mrs. and his kids. Less chance for slipups that way, even though they will take place no matter how much you do to circumvent them. We’ve already had one or two incidents of hotel staff welcoming her back, but luckily they were out of earshot of CompanyPres Mrs. and the rest of the group. You could tell by the stricken look on the hotel staff’s face that they realized what they had done but they were so schooled in their training that it was difficult for them to remember to put on a welcoming look instead of one of blank recognition.

  Uh oh. TheMistress is pouting. I don’t know what caused the pout but it is definitely there. Just passed her on her way back up to her room. Lunch went well and the afternoon coffee break just finished. The meeting has another hour or so to go before it breaks. I don’t know what explanation was given for the company’s executive assistant not attending the business meeting today, but it’s better for all that she isn’t found lying on the beach when the meeting breaks.

  It was a beautiful, beautiful night to head out on the ocean for a sunset dinner cruise aboard a luxury yacht. Couldn’t have asked for better. Everyone gathered on the dock dressed in his or her evening “casual elegance” finery. The kids had all opted to stay at the resort and have their own party. Yay for us who worked the cruise tonight and for the parents—there were no seasick mini-tummies to deal with. Hotel babysitters made sure that they were well cared for and sound asleep in their own beds when the parents arrived back at the resort. There were also program directors on hand to oversee their mini-event and to make sure that all child security and safety requirements were maintained. We—Dee Dee and I—were hard at work while skimming over sun-kissed sparkling water and enjoying the salty sea air on our faces. Make no mistake; while it was much better than being stuck in the office, it was not a pleasure cruise for any of the staff working.

  TheMistress made her usual dramatic entrance, semi-dressed in her most sexy—cut to barely there—hot pink micro minidress, sashaying down the dock with her hair a mass of artfully arranged tousled curls. Guess she didn’t read the memo we put out about tonight being casual elegance with comfortable flat shoes. Those four-inch Manolo Blahnik heels didn’t last the night, but hey, they made for a great entrance. With legs that stretched seemingly forever, she sure got the crew’s attention. She also got ours. CompanyPres had said that she wouldn’t be coming tonight. Either her appearance on the dock was going to be a surprise for him or it was the end result of her earlier pouting episode today.

  Who was missing in action? VicePres. His Mrs. had said he wasn’t feeling up to being on a boat tonight and was worried about being seasick.

  All were present and accounted for. Time to set sail so we could catch the sunset. The band was great. The appetizers and drinks were a hit. Dinner was still to come. Couples were up dancing already. Looking back at the dock as we pulled away, I saw VicePres hurrying down, hopeful that we were still tied up. I wonder if knowing TheMistress was onboard and not spending the night alone at the resort had anything to do with his quick recovery. We turned around and headed back to pick him up. Oh, the games people play.

  TheMistress had men lined up to dance with her as part of their company duty. She was the only one traveling without a partner and their wives were kind enough to insist that their husbands made sure that she had the opportunity to dance. Of course, CompanyPres and VicePres took their turns as well. TheMistress was basking in the attention and was showing off her dance moves to their best advantage.

  Still, she behaved fairly well. There was the one moment when TheMistress deliberately dropped something in front of CompanyPres and provocatively bent down in front of him to pick it up, with her breasts on fully display for everyone to see as her dress fell open. She made a big production of trying to keep the front together as she bent over and artfully drew everyone’s eyes exactly where she wanted them in the process. And another time when she pretended to spill some of her drink on CompanyPres’s pants and made a great show of wiping it off. She was purposely being a tease and each time taking it a step further. CompanyPres Mrs. was beginning to look unhappy and so were a number of the other spouses. It was time to turn all the men’s attention back to their wives, so Dee Dee cornered TheMistress to get her opinion on tomorrow’s itinerary. This cruise was not all about her and it was time for a work ruse. After all, that’s the official reason she’s down here.

  As a canopy of stars started appearing overhead, we had the music slowed down, giving couples an opportunity to connect and cuddle. TheMistress was now happily chatting up the crew, who had instructions to keep her amused and out of the way. They were now teaching her how to steer the boat. CompanyPres didn’t look too thrilled but there wasn’t much he could say or do under the now more watchful eye of his Mrs. Their dancing—CompanyPres and TheMistress—had bordered on being very suggestive and playful. I am sure that at some level it raised a flicker of concern for the Mrs. and it was our job to see that nothing further went amiss.

  Finally, we were off duty and everyone was on their own. Dee Dee and I “thoughtfully” volunteered to escort TheMistress to her room so that she would not have to make her way there on her own, since her room was away from all the others—and we did it before any of the men in the group could volunteer. If she had any late-night visitors or took a stroll on the beach after we dropped her off, it was none of our business and we wanted to keep it that way.

  And now it’s time for bed. Everyone had a great time. It’s been a very long day.

  DECEMBER 21

  Alrighty then. Mild morning trauma avoided already and breakfast is barely over. Dee Dee ran into the Mrs. just finishing up enjoying the breakfast buffet with her kids. The Mrs. was fretting that it would soon be meeting time and CompanyPres hadn’t shown up as yet to get something to eat. Mrs. said CompanyPres had left ages ago to run over to TheMistress’s suite “for just a few minutes” to tell her about some changes he needed with regard to today’s agenda. Mrs. didn’t understand why he hadn’t just called her from their room and given her his instructions over the phone. Mrs. and the kids had packed up a few muffins and some fruit to take to CompanyPres and were just about to head to TheMistress’s suite to see if he was still there and make sure he took time to eat before the meeting started. Mrs. told Dee Dee she was always telling CompanyPres that he was working too hard, staying too late at the office and exhausted from the numerous business trips he had to take. Dee Dee murmured sympathetically and made the appropriate responses to her concerns for her husband’s health.

  Mrs. said she had tried calling TheMistress’s room from the telephone in the restaurant but no one had answered. Had Dee Dee seen CompanyPres on her way down? Dee Dee had, in fact, seen CompanyPres when she herself was returning from visiting TheMistress’s room to pick up company packets that were required for the meeting today—they had been stored in TheMistress’s room while she made additions to the kits and she had not given them to the bell staff yesterday as Dee Dee had requested. CompanyPres and TheMistress were cozily ensconced, eating breakfast on the balcony. Of course, she didn’t tell Mrs. that there was no need to be concerned about CompanyPres not having had time to eat breakfast or how the bed had that unmistakable look of a sexual romp or how TheMistress was in charming disarray still in her nightclothes. Had the man no sense? But I guess the last thing on his mind was a muffin run by his wife and kids.

  Dee Dee said that she had dropped by TheMistress’s suite and they had been hard at work—without saying at what—and CompanyPres would be heading directly to the meeting room. Using a play on words, Dee Dee spoke the truth when she said she was sure that CompanyPres would “soon come.” This is a familiar Jamaican phrase that the group was using—one that expresses the Jamaican laid-back attitude to waiting and gives hope to visitors to the island. Waiting for your morning coffee? Not to worry. It would soon come. So would the taxi, etc. Soon come could mean in five minutes or five hours; it was never clearly defined. An
d in the language of today the words “soon come” could have a double meaning. Sometimes we’re placed in the situation of walking a fuzzy line between telling the truth and telling a lie. We’ve come to learn that it’s better to always tell the truth but in a manner that could have several different interpretations. It’s up to the listener to choose what they want to hear.

  Dee Dee told CompanyPres Mrs. that she would make sure that a continental breakfast refreshment tray was sent to the meeting room for CompanyPres and that it would be really helpful if Mrs. was at the meeting site to greet early morning arrivals and help Dee Dee identify them—so she could cross them off her list—as she distributed the material they would need to review before the meeting started. This was just another make-work project, as the packets only needed to be placed on each chair, but better a distraction than not. Mrs. perked up at the suggestion, happy that her husband would be looked after, and walked with Dee Dee to the meeting room chatting like they were new BFFs.

  Today for us is very light. An all-day meeting, breaks, lunch and then the guests are at leisure to enjoy dinner on their own at one of the resort’s restaurants. The hospitality desk will help them with dinner reservations and then that’s pretty much it for the day. Tomorrow will be busier, but right now today is a welcome break. I’ve arranged for dinner for all of the program directors to be served in a private room. That way we can kick back and relax without the guests around and we can go over our strategy for tomorrow, as we’ll all be heading in different directions. We’ll still be checking in for messages and the hotel operator will be advised where to find us.