by Ali Parker
Matt and Nick broke out into a slow clap when they saw me. Matt shot me a sideways smirk. “If it ain’t the lone ranger. Ready to get back to work?”
“Actually, I just came to watch you,” I quipped, but I dropped my phone, wallet, and keys onto the couch we had in the studio and walked over to the mic stand. Late yesterday afternoon, some roadies came by and broke down all the gear in my garage, carting it all back here.
Nick clasped his heart and pretended to be hurt. “You can’t just come watch us whenever you feel like it. You’ll make us feel used.”
“You are used,” I retorted teasingly. “Just the way you like it.”
“You know me too well,” he lamented, laughter in his eyes. “Seriously, though, you ready to get started?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Let’s do it then,” Dom said, playing a short, fun little drumroll.
I held up my hand. “Can we get some stuff out of the way first?”
On the way over this morning, I’d gone over a few things I wanted to say to them. I’d specifically left my house early, hoping I would get here before the rest so we could talk while they got set up.
Guess I'd underestimated how eager they were to get back in the studio. They were already here when I arrived, and everything was completely set up, ready for us to dig right back in.
"You don't have to say anything," Caleb said. "I think everyone already knows."
"Maybe." But I still felt like I had to do this. There were things that needed to be said, and I knew that if I didn't say them out loud and something happened, I would always regret it.
"Take it away then." Matt made a sweeping gesture with his hand as if to say the floor was mine.
Inhaling a deep breath, I met the eyes of each one of my brothers before I started. "I didn't walk out because I didn't want to be in this band anymore or because I stopped loving the music. I walked out because I never wanted to see any of you get hurt. It got to a point where it felt inevitable that was going to happen. Hell, we got this close to losing Caleb."
Every time I allowed myself to think of the seriousness of the situation Caleb had been in, it felt like there was an arrow slicing right through my heart. "When I said we could carry on recording today, I meant it. I don't expect all of you to stop partying or drinking, but I do want to ask everyone to take some responsibility and stay safe."
"I know I'm nobody's parent," I continued, hoping against all hope they'd let me finish what I needed to say before they started teasing me about acting like the mom of the group. "I also know I have no right to ask any of you to be careful or safe. I mean, fuck, I'm responsible for at least half the shit we get into. But I'm asking anyway. Caleb may be my blood, but you're all my brothers, and losing any of you would kill me."
To my relief, no one looked like they were about to mock me for my little speech. And judging by the solemnity on their faces, they understood exactly why I had to make it.
"We don't want to lose you either, bro," Dom said, walking around his drum kit and inspecting it was set up right before sitting down on his stool and reaching for his sticks. "What happened with Caleb scared the shit out of all of us, and whether you have a right to ask or not is irrelevant. You asked, and I'm saying yes."
Caleb and Matt echoed Dom's sentiment and took in their places. Nick nodded when I looked at him, his eyes far away. I had no doubt he was remembering having to tell me about Caleb and quite possibly a lot of other close calls he'd had with so many people he knew.
"I'm all in," he said finally but didn't pick up his guitar. "Before we get started, there’s something else you should know."
My palms immediately got clammy. What could be so important, he would delay our first day back in the studio more?
Clearing his throat, Nick's eyes darted to the door just as Alicia pushed through it. "Gerry isn't here."
"He left," Alicia announced, the heavy studio door slamming shut behind her. "I've just found out he's gone."
"What the fuck?" Why did it feel like I was asking that question at least ten times a day nowadays?
Alicia's sighed and leaned with her back against the closed door, folding her arms. "I'm sorry, Jared. I didn't know he would be leaving so soon. You're just going to have to do this recording without him."
I closed my eyes, wanting to kick myself for not seeing this coming. "We can't do this without him. If we’re doing this, we're doing it together as a family. Gerry is a part of that."
The guy was an uptight asshole, sure. But he was our uptight asshole, and the guys hadn't given up on me, I wasn't giving up on Gerry. If he was gone, it was my fault, and I would have to make it right.
I'd gotten so used to having people cleaning up messes as big as this, it'd been years since I'd had to do it myself. I didn't involve our team in everything, but you could bet your ass I wouldn't have wasted my time on management issues a month ago. Now, however, I knew this was my problem to deal with.
The times they are a changing.
Alicia wasn't moved by my declaration that we weren't doing this without Gerry. She remained at the door, shaking her head in exasperation. "You don't understand. The album has already been pushed back as far as it can go. There is no more wiggle room."
I shrugged, stepping away from the microphone and walking toward her. "That's too bad because we aren't doing this without Gerry."
Reaching for my arm when I neared her, Alicia pulled me to a corner of the studio. "Listen to me. I understand how you feel about not wanting to carry on recording without Gerry here. I will go and search for him, but you have to start recording."
Determination flashed in her eyes, and her arms were crossed so tightly over her chest, she was inadvertently pushing her boobs up almost all the way to her chin. My eyes fought a battle with my brain, begging me to sneak a peek.
I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since she walked out on me yesterday. Never before had a woman just upped and left me after sex. Usually, I was the one jumping up and leaving like my ass was on fire.
I was going to suggest watching a movie together since she'd mentioned that was on her agenda for the day and then perhaps going upstairs for a second round. Possibly staying in bed until this morning. But before I could do any of those things, she was fully dressed, joking, and ready to get out of my house.
I didn't know what to make of it, but I didn't have time to figure it out now. Turning my head to the band, I made a decision on the spot.
"We'll have to start tomorrow. Alicia and I are going to find Gerry."
Alicia huffed out a breath, and I half expected her to stomp her foot out of the aggravation I was clearly causing her, but she didn't. Her features smoothed as she dropped her arms to her sides and planted her hands on her hips. "You're right. Gerry is a part of this, and we need to find him."
I did a pretty good job of hiding my surprise at how quickly she'd conceded the argument. Score one for the home team!
8
Alicia
"Is this it?" I turned on the soft leather seat of Jared's car to face him, momentarily losing sight of the modern-looking mansion we'd just pulled up at. "This place is gigantic."
Jared nodded, one corner of his mouth lifted in amusement. "We've done pretty well for him."
"I'll say," I breathed, trying to think back at how long the white wall that eventually led to Gerry's gates had been. We had to have been driving alongside it for at least a minute.
The gate itself was a metal thing worthy of either a prison or a palace. I couldn't quite decide which. Beyond the wall and barely visible through the narrow slats of the gates was a house that looked like it could house a small country and should have been on the cover of an architectural magazine.
"Guess we can't take all the credit, though." Jared pushed his sunglasses up into his hair and gave me a quick wink before rolling down his window to ring the doorbell.
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged, waiting for the shr
ill bell to finish its tune. "I mean it's hardly like we’re the first band the guy has managed. He's a superstar. I bet he's got houses like this stashed all over the place."
"Boy, did I ever get into the wrong side of this business." I'd known Gerry was in this game for the money. I just hadn't realized how much of it he made. But then I remembered how much I loved my job and how much Gerry's seemed to annoy him. "Never mind, I wouldn't want his job anyway."
"That's why we're here." He smirked. "Can't play without the whole team on the pitch."
It was starting to look like they were going to have to. The gigantic gate didn't budge, and the intercom remained silent. We’d tried calling Gerry on the way over, but we didn't get an answer. Whatever he was doing, it didn't look like he wanted to see or speak to us about it.
"Why is Gerry so pivotal to the band?"
Jared was so impassioned about not going back to recording without him that I quickly realized it was a good time to choose my battles. It would have taken me longer to convince him to record without Gerry than it would to make this trip to his house.
Plus, Jared was hard to resist when he felt so strongly about something. Guess it was just hard to understand why he felt so strongly about their manager having to be present before they started recording again. I never imagined there was much love lost between Gerry and the boys. In fact, I always kind of got the impression that none of them really got along very well.
Dom and Caleb tolerated Gerry, presumably because they knew he was the manager and was the best at what he did, but Jared, Nick, and Matt could be openly hostile toward the guy. And frankly, I'd often sensed that same animosity on Gerry's part.
Clearly, however, I'd misread the situation. Jared's jaw was set as he rang the bell again, obviously not ready to simply give up and drive away.
"He's the one who got us out of the garage," he sighed, jabbing his finger onto the button for the doorbell and keeping it there. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through his dark hair, giving it a really sexy, messy look.
I doubted that was what he'd been trying to do, though. It looked more like the mighty Jared Larsen was actually stressed about something for once. Any fool would be able to see this meant a lot to him.
"I don't want to leave the people responsible for making the band what we are," he added and then cheered when the gate slowly started sliding open.
I'd never seen him like this, but I would be lying if I said I didn't like it. The way he'd been these last couple of days, no sign of that damned persona, and all real, full of fire and passion, this was the guy I couldn't resist. The one I always knew was inside him but only ever got glimpses of.
We parked outside of Gerry's house, and he was waiting for us at the door, looking like he hadn't showered since the band broke up. Maybe shortly thereafter, since he hadn't looked this way the last time I saw him.
For the first time in my life and from the stunned look on Jared's face, for the first time in his, we were seeing Gerry without a suit. He was wearing shorts and a T-shirt that were both wrinkled like he'd just plucked them up off the floor and instead of smelling like his expensive cologne, he smelled like a liquor store.
His eyes were slightly glassy as he blinked at us and stepped aside. "Wasn't expecting you two, of all people. Come on in."
Stumbling slightly as he led us through his cavernous entrance hall and to a bar with a view that seemed to stretch forever, he flashed us a lopsided grin and leaned against the counter. "Whiskey?"
"No, thank you." I declined immediately. Never mind the fact that it was barely noon, Gerry was clearly in need of help, and I didn't think drinking with him was the answer.
Jared caught my eye and then shook his head as well. "I'm staying away from the heavy stuff for now."
Gerry blinked as if he couldn't quite understand the words coming out of Jared's mouth, and then he smiled. "Good for you, son. Never thought I'd see the day. Proud of you."
A flush crept from Jared's neck to his cheeks. Oh my god. Was he blushing?
On occasion, I'd gotten the feeling the guys saw Gerry as their father, or father-figure at least, but never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that praise from him would make Jared freaking Larsen blush.
I refrained from reacting, not wanting to ruin the moment between the two. If anything, I wished I could bottle it and relive it whenever Jared was being the pretentious, celebrity ass I knew so well he could be when he wanted.
Jared cleared his throat and grabbed a bottle of water Gerry offered him. "The band is back together. When will you be able to come back to work?"
"Work?" Gerry asked, sounding as if he'd never heard the word before as he waved it away. "I'm not going back. Retired. I don't have raising any more kids in me."
Was that what it was? Was that why he would get so very angry and disappointed in them? Was this the reason he seemed so deeply aggravated and personally offended when they got up to their antics? It had to be. Just as they viewed him as a father, it seemed the mighty Gerry Thomson saw the band members as his spoiled children.
Now there was a head trip for me. I hadn't been expecting that.
"You can't retire now, Gerry, please. We need you," Jared told him. Anyone else might have sounded like they were begging, but not Jared. He didn't beg. It was more like he was stating the facts.
Gerry dismissed what Jared was saying with another wave of his hand, reaching for the bottle of whiskey beside him and taking a gulp straight from the bottle. "You don't need me. You never have. Trust me, you guys will be fine without me."
"No, we won't. We're not moving forward without you, Gerry." Jared's tone was firm even. He meant business, and he was completely serious. As far as he was concerned, no Gerry meant no Destitute.
Shit. And here I thought the difficult part was going to be getting Jared back. Who could have guessed that was only the beginning?
"You can't be serious," Gerry scoffed. "I knew you'd come back. You boys won't ever abandon each other."
"And we won't abandon you either." Jared's voice dripped with sincerity. He wasn't joking.
"What are you saying?" Gerry squinted, his words starting to slur as he took another sip of whiskey.
Jared grabbed the bottle from him and walked with purpose over to the sink. He didn't say another word as he emptied the bottle down the drain. Neither did Gerry. It didn't escape my notice that Gerry didn't try to stop him either. The bottle must've cost a fortune, but whatever was happening between the two was more valuable than that.
"I'm saying that it's all of us or none of us," he told Gerry firmly. "And we'll need you to be ready to work tomorrow."
Holy crap. Jared taking control was seriously hot. And more than that, seeing him take control of situations and of his future, of what he wanted, and what he believed in, it validated everything I'd ever thought about him. He really was quite the man.
"Okay," Gerry agreed eventually, after a painfully long silence during which the men stared each other down like they were about to start a duel. "I'll be at the studio tomorrow, and I'll be your manager again, but I'm taking the rest of the day off."
Jared nodded and turned to leave, motioning me to his side. "You do that. We'll see you tomorrow."
If I thought I was in trouble over falling for Jared before, I was in serious trouble now. In the past, I could never know for sure whether he really was the man I thought he was and wanted him to be or if I was only making it up in my head because that's what I wanted to believe. But now I knew for sure, he was everything I'd ever thought he was and so much more.
I wasn't falling for him anymore. On that day, in that moment, I fell for Jared Larsen. Hard.
9
Jared
"That's what I'm talking about!" I jumped in my spot, landing with both feet on the ground. My sneakers squeaked against the polished studio floor as I landed. We were finally back in the studio, and we sounded fucking great.
Everything was in place, and everyone was
playing each song the way it was meant to be played. We were on fire, and if we kept this up, we would not only deliver the album in totality by our original release date, but we might even get it in under the wire.
This was how we’d always dreamed about things going. It just didn't happen all that often outside of dreamland.
"I knew there was a reason we had so many fans," Nick joked, dropping to his knees to play a random solo. When he was done, he lifted his grinning face and winked. "We're actually kind of good when we put our backs into it."
Dom chucked a drumstick at his head, but he couldn't quite keep from smiling. "You might be kind of good, but the rest of us are fucking brilliant."
"I concur." Matt laughed and gave Dom a high five. "Who knew a couple weeks of sleep, a bit of spit and polish, and the threat of losing everything we'd worked for would be all we needed to get our mojo back.”
“Mojo?” Caleb laughed so hard, he nearly sank to his knees. Gasping for air, he wiped tears from the corners of his eyes as he set his guitar down. “Are you in an Austin Powers movie or something?”
“Say what you will.” Matt winked and set his guitar down. “That dude had the right idea about a lot of things.”
“So did Jared, since we’re suddenly all back on our game,” Caleb pointed out, still chuckling. “Only he did it without round beds, shoulder pads, or any of that other crap.”
“Don’t mention a round bed around him, or next thing you know he’ll order one,” Nick protested, groaning.
“Now that you’ve mentioned it,” I started, winking at Nick. “I feel like I should tell you I’ve already ordered one.”
“Bullshit.” Matt crumbled a receipt he pulled from his jeans and threw it at my head. “But that’s my cue to get out of here.”
“But it’s especially for you when you come over,” I called out after him as he turned his back on us and headed out the door. He laughed without turning around and held his middle finger up in the air.
