Rose

by Conrad, Angela

Surely she would not jump that way and in the dark?

  ……….

  Only her devotion for her mare kept Rose from trying. She sat quietly, as tears ran down her face and her heart broke into pieces. Her trust in a gentleman seemed to prove false after all. How foolish she felt, thinking herself enough to please a gentleman as handsome and experienced as her husband. How long had he been seeing that woman? How many others? Why had he sent for her to witness their embrace? It was so cruel, Rose had not believed Mark was cruel.

  While Rose had been lost in her misery, Mark had advanced on her at a slow walk. He saw Snowflake look his way and knew he must hurry. He slid from his horse and ran up to Snowflake grabbing her bridle and holding her head firmly.

  “Rose?” Mark questioned, looking up into his wife’s tearstained face.

  It broke his heart to see her so and with a harsh shout he called to her again.

  “Please Rose, get down.”

  She looked at him like a stranger and turned her head, as if the sight of him disgusted her.

  Mark touched her bare leg and felt her flinch. He’d never felt such a reaction and it chilled him as nothing else could have done.

  “Rose, please,” he repeated, his voice hoarse.

  “Let go of Snowflake,” Rose ordered, a new coldness in her voice. One Mark had never heard before. He hated it.

  “Get down, let me explain,” he instructed.

  “Oh I don’t think you need to explain it. It was obvious. A part of me always wondered how long an old rogue like you would be content with just me. I guess I should feel honored that I kept your interest for three months.”

  She heard his harsh intake of breath and misinterpreted it.

  “Not three? I should never assume, perhaps you’ve been seeing her since our wedding trip for all I know,” Rose sobbed.

  Mark could not stand the pain anymore and he reached up and pulled Rose off her horse and into his arms. She didn’t fight him, she just stood there motionless and cold. It was worse than a struggle and Mark Islay imagined he might howl with grief.

  Rose could smell the other woman on him and she pushed his chest.

  “I can smell her,” Rose hissed, gagging.

  “God Rose, please listen to me,” Mark tried, not letting her loose.

  Rose turned her head and drew a deep breath, shuddering she whispered.

  “I was going to tell you tonight after the party, that I was going to have your baby. I guess that’s not such exciting news now.”

  “Oh Rose damn it. I love you so much. I am glad about the baby. I can’t lose you Rose. Listen, Fletcher set me up, got me drunk that was his mistress pretending to care about me; I’ve never seen her before.”

  Mark tightened his hold on her arms until she squealed, but he would not let go.

  “Rose look at me,” he commanded, shaking her until she raised her eyes up to meet his.

  She could also smell the brandy and knew the drinking too much was true, for he stood unsteady and his eyes were wild. She noticed how handsome he was, so dark, tall and fine, it encouraged new tears to flood down her cheeks.

  “God, not like that!” Mark cried with real anguish in his voice. He began to speak in a loud, hoarse tone, allowing no interruptions.

  “Have I ever in three months been away from you for even one night? Haven’t we made love more than once every night? When do you think I ever saw another woman, or had the energy to make love to one? Have you ever seen that person before? Think Rose, Fletcher was jealous, perhaps imagined he might have you, if you believed I was unfaithful.”

  Rose recalled the many times Lord Fletcher had watched her, suggested a private meeting and she now understood what he’d intended.

  “Lord Fletcher has hinted to me, asked to see me alone,” Rose confessed.

  “What? That blackguard, I’ll kill him! I wanted to after this, but now I really will kill him,” Mark roared.

  “No Mark, leave it alone. Don’t ruin your life because of him. It wasn’t all Fletcher, you kissed her,” Rose accused.

  Mark hugged her to him and she felt his tears on her head. She looked up and studied his face. Mark was scared. She’d never seen him this way. He was angry, terrified, heartbroken, and telling the truth.

  “A second, a reaction, nothing, it was nothing, I felt nothing. Rose, you have to love me. I’m used to it now, I can’t live without it. You mean everything to me. Rose, do you believe I love you?” Mark asked, pulling back so he could see her face clearly in the moonlight.

  “I thought you did.”

  “Rose, come on, consider how it is between us. You must trust me, believe me,” Mark said. He took his large hands and framed her soft wet face. “Sweetheart, please?”

  The time for talking was over, Rose judged. Either I believe him, forgive that he kissed this woman back, or let a lack of trust ruin my life and there’s the baby to consider now too. Would she be like her mother, alone with a child to raise? Where would that get her but a lonely life, bitterness, and a broken heart? Losing Mark forever?

  “It hurts that you were so easily led. You were holding her and kissing her with your tongue, no one made you do that,” Rose asserted, emotions still running deep inside her.

  “Alcohol did, stupidity. Rose, what can I say to you, what can I do?” Mark asked, still holding her tightly in case she would try to run away.

  “Answer me truthfully.”

  “Anything.”

  “Do you really love me or do you want to be free?” Rose asked, looking into his eyes, searching for any hint of a lie.

  “I love you and I never want you to leave me. I will not let you leave me. Free from what? Free from being the happiest I’ve been in my life?” Mark questioned, trying to force her to believe him.

  “Are you planning on being with other women while I carry our baby?”

  “God no! Damn it. Don’t even ask that, for it tells me what a cad you think me now. Let me ask you a question Rose,” Mark said, anger mixing with the pain.

  “Alright.”

  “If you had been handed brandy all night, became drunk, was led to the balcony where a handsome man was waiting for you, one that touched you and kissed you, what would you have done?"

  It was the wrong question, he could see it in her eyes; he was losing her.

  “I would not have held him or kissed him back Mark. I guess I can’t substitute one person for another as easily as you.”

  He dropped his forehead down to her and scooped her up in his arms, his strong forearm under her knees. He held her and pressed into her hair.

  “Rose. Alright I’m not as strong as you, as good, as superior in managing my actions, but I swear to you I will never touch another woman again. I will never forget this night. This pain that runs through me, the terror of losing you. Give me another chance Rose.”

  Mark wanted to lay her on the damp grass and make love to her until the sun came up, but he just held her and kissed her hair and waited.

  Rose looked up and saw love in Mark’s eyes. His face was gaunt. She believed that he loved her. She wanted to believe he could be faithful.

  “Never again Mark. You want to feel passion for another woman, fall in love with another lady, then you leave and you never come back. I will only be with a man that is satisfied with just me, I told you that before we got married. If you don’t think you can do it, if you’re not strong enough, or don’t want to try, sit me back on my horse and leave tonight.”

  Rose meant it. It shook him to the core and forever afterwards, the rest of his life he would remember this moment. Rose would leave him and he would not get a second chance to talk her around. Their marriage would be over if he wasn’t stronger, gave in to temptation again. The longer he stood there, the faster he could feel the door shutting. He could not let it. He wanted Rose more than anything in his life.

  “Oh, I’m not letting you go. I’m never letting you go Rose and I won’t be leaving either. I’ll never risk this agony again. We are
married and you are carrying my baby and no one will ever come between us. I swear it on my life Rose.”

  She kissed him then and Mark thought what a fool he was, to have even for a second believed another woman’s kiss could compare to one from Rose. Mark kissed her back until he was breathing hard and sweating.

  “God, I hope all those guests left. I can’t wait to be home alone with you,” Mark sighed.

  “I should never have married such a handsome man, other women will always want you.”

  “They’ll never have me and look at you. Do you think I haven’t wanted to punch out about a thousand pairs of eyes ogling you? I’ll be battling off predators stalking you until I’m ninety.”

  “I really love you Mark.”

  “I really love you Rose, never before did I realize just how much you mean to me. More than my life. I won’t forget that wounded look in your eyes forever. I am so sorry.”

  “Take me home.”

  “We’ll go in the back way.”

  “Yes.”

  They rushed to their horses and rode carefully home. Looking into each other’s eyes and feeling relief.

  It would be all right now. Relationships once tested, either grew stronger or failed, this new understanding built tougher bonds. Mark and Rose understood that now their true love would forever tie them together. Their marriage would last as long as their love, forever.