In The Beginning
Page 6
Chapter Six
It was always so easy for my brother to follow our parents without question. He didn’t mind that they told us so little about the world; that our life was the same, day after day, year after year; that we were supposed to worship God and sacrifice our best to Him for no apparent reason. To my brother it was enough that our parents told us something was important.
That wasn’t good enough for me. Why should I listen to my parents and follow along without question? I had a great mind. On my own I had thought of how to irrigate my fields and increase the yields of my crops. Yet according to my parents I was supposed to give all the glory to God!
My brother had agreed with them. He actually told me that he thought I was arrogant and conceited; that I thought I was better than him. He said God had given me all my talents and abilities and I should give God the glory for everything I was able to do.
This infuriated me. It was my mind that thought up those advancements, and my hands that made the improvements. They wanted me to praise God, when they should have been praising me for what I had done for the family. What had God ever done to help me? I did everything. For good or bad, my thoughts and deeds were my own.
When God came to me after my brother’s death, I had seen His power and been frightened. Although I considered myself brave and knew I was strong, I had fallen on my face in fear and had not been able to lift my eyes to look upon Him.
After our encounter, I no longer had any doubts about my parents’ stories of how He had created the earth, the sky and everything in existence. I believed what my parents had told me, but I now believed of my own accord.
But how did that translate into a God that increased my crops? I was the one doing all the work. I used my intelligence to think of ways to increase the crops, and I used my hands and sweat to grow and harvest the crops. God was not involved.
My parents insisted that everything came from God. That He gave us all our skills, abilities and talents, and He guided our decisions if we listened to His voice. They said if we didn’t let Him guide our decisions they may not be right.
This idea that God, the God I had fallen down before in fear and awe, actually cared about me as an individual was still not believable. I was below Him. I could not matter to Him. Why would He care about me? Even now I could barely believe that He had come to me. I had made a mistake and I appreciated His mercy, but that didn't change things.
Even though I now knew God was real and had awesome powers, I also knew I had my own power. My physical abilities were my own. My intelligence would be my guide in the days ahead; my decisions would be my own, and not made because of Him. My success or failure, my life or death, was in my hands and dependent only upon my thoughts and deeds, my actions and intelligence, and no one else’s.
My life had changed completely in the last fifty days. From my brother’s death, to my expulsion from my home and my journey across the wasteland, I could scarcely believe it was all real. I now understood that as old as I felt, as much as I had seen and done, I had been alive for only a short time. I realized that there were many choices in life, there were many paths that could be trod, and one person could make a difference in the world.
Anything was possible, and I would make my own future. I alone would decide what I would be, with no direction from my parents or God. I had spent my journey thinking of my life as it had been. From now on I would take action. Whether I was right or wrong, I would change the world as I saw fit.
I was finally close to real vegetation. I could smell it in the air. I had barely stopped walking for the last two days, and there was life just ahead. My mind and my eyes were focused on the wooded slopes I now approached.
The hills I had been watching for so long had sprung to life, and I was now able to see everything clearly. There were birds flying over my head, and I had even seen some wild animals off in the distance.
As of yet I could see no fruit trees, nor any grain to make bread. I was not worried, where there were birds and animals, I could find something to eat and water to drink. I was focused on reaching those hills and would stop for nothing. I knew in my heart that whatever I had been searching for was just ahead of me. I would soon reach my destination. Whether it was to be the end of my journey or just the beginning I didn’t know, but I could not stop now.
Part II – The Meeting