Then, Again

by Karen Stivali

  “I looked at those tonight. My copy came in today’s mail.”

  “Well, maybe he’ll come to your restaurant, because he certainly liked what he saw.”

  Typical Kay. Never taking credit for anything. “It’s your photos he fell in love with, Kay. Not my food. Only because he hasn’t tried it, of course.”

  She giggled and the sound warmed him. “Of course.”

  “So, where’s this magazine based?”

  “New York. I’d actually submitted stuff to them a while back, hoping to land something closer to…”

  Closer to what? His heart raced as he waited for her to complete the sentence.

  “…home,” she said, the breathlessness back in her voice. “Anyway, I have to think fast because I’m supposed to sign papers for the Canada job by the end of this week. I’m pushing it by asking them both to let me think.”

  “It’s a big decision. They want you, they’ll wait.” I’ll wait. Say it. The words caught in his throat. He couldn’t do it.

  Silence hung between them. He was about to speak when he heard her exhale. “I talked to Ro and Trixie. They’re not real pleased with the fact that I’m selling the house.”

  Shit. “Is that final?”

  “Not quite. Rhonda has two bids on it. Said she should have an answer in a few days. I don’t really have much choice anymore. If I’m traveling there’s no way I can take care of the house, and even if I take the New York job I’ll need the money from the house to be able to afford an apartment in the city.”

  He tried to forget about how much it was killing him to hear her reaffirm that she wasn’t planning to move home, but still, she said she’d applied for the New York job. She must have been hoping to stay more local. To be near him? Hope trickled in. Focus on her. “How do you feel about selling the place? I mean, I get what you’re saying, but you grew up in that house.”

  “I know.” Her voice was quiet and sad. He wished he could wrap his arms around her and hold her, kiss her, tell her everything was going to be fine. “I’m kind of trusting fate right now. What about you? How’s everything with the restaurant? Things must be getting crazy.”

  “I think I’m redefining crazy, but no complaints.”

  “That’s good. You’ve worked so hard. You deserve smooth sailing at this point.”

  “Thanks. So do you.” He heard the door to the kitchen slam. “Hey, someone’s here. I should get going.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  He didn’t want to hang up. “Can I call you again?”

  “Of course,” she said, without hesitation, a hint of the old Kay back in her voice.

  “Good.”

  James hung up and was surprised to find Patricia standing in the doorway. She looked stunning in a long, slinky sundress. She’d left the bottom two-thirds of the skirt unbuttoned so her shapely tan legs took turns being exposed as she sashayed toward him. “You never called back, so I thought I’d come drag the answer out of you in person.”

  I give her points for having balls. He rubbed his hand across his jaw. “You’re not going to like my answer.” He folded his arms and leaned against the bar.

  “I figured you might say that. That’s why I thought I might up my odds by seeing you in person.” She gracefully stepped up and sat atop one of the bar stools, leaning forward just enough to accentuate her cleavage. “Is this all about your girlfriend? Because frankly, I don’t remember you being too fond of being kept on a leash.”

  “I’m not on a leash. In fact, we broke up.”

  Patricia’s pale eyebrows arched high on her perfectly sculpted face. “Well then, what’s the problem?” She reached out one long manicured nail and trailed it down his forearm. “We could really make a night of it then.” She twirled her finger over the knob of his wrist bone. A small shudder ran through him. Sex with Patricia had always been great. Even when they weren’t getting along.

  “I don’t think that’s in either of our best interest.”

  She leaned farther across the bar, her hand sliding up to his biceps and squeezing, her face inches from his. “Maybe I need to remind you we shared a lot of interests.”

  Her lemony scent was enticing, familiar, but it no longer had the same pull on him. She closed the distance between them, kissing him hard, her tongue making bold passes over his that left nothing in question. She was his for the taking. Her fingers snaked up to his neck, drawing him closer.

  As easy as it would have been to take her up on what she was clearly offering, he pulled away. “I can’t do this, Patricia.”

  She laughed, the hard metallic sound ringing in his ears. “Oh, I know that’s not true. You can do this, and quite well if memory serves.”

  “Not this time.” One thing he and Patricia had never lacked was chemistry, yet the heat was gone. All he could think about was Kay. “You and I have made enough mistakes together. I’m not going down that road again.”

  Patricia’s eyes hardened, her delicate features darkening. “Christ, James, I’m not asking you to marry me. Don’t I mean anything to you anymore?”

  He could see the hurt and anger in her expression and his feelings toward her softened. She was always so tough it was easy to forget that she had a sensitive side. “I’m saying no because it’s best for both of us. You need to move on.”

  “You moved on and look how that worked out for you. You’ve broken up already. You’re back at square one.”

  He considered her words, realizing they weren’t true at all. “You know, if you’d said that yesterday I might have agreed with you, but it’s wrong. I’m not. I’ve changed.”

  “Well, you’re still alone.”

  “Maybe.” Kay’s words came back to him. I’m kind of trusting fate right now. He decided maybe he should do the same. “But I may be able to change that.”

  Patricia scowled. “You’re really saying no, aren’t you?”

  James took her hand. “I’ve been saying no for a long time.”

  “I miss us sometimes, you know. It wasn’t always perfect, but we had some good times.”

  James nodded and gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. “We did. But we’re not right for each other. We never were.”

  She sighed, sitting back on the bar stool. “I know.”

  James couldn’t help but chuckle. “Did you actually just admit I was right about something?”

  Patricia smiled and shook her head. “Dammit, I think I did.”

  “You’re gonna be fine, Patricia. That firm is damned lucky you put up with all their shit and accepted a partnership with them. You’re gonna make them a ton of money, and if that’s not good enough for them you should tell them to kiss your ass.”

  She climbed off the bar stool in one fluid motion. “You really are a tough negotiator. You should have been a lawyer yourself.”

  “Don’t have the stomach for it. You’re much tougher.”

  “You’re right, I am. Thanks for reminding me.”

  When she left James felt a sense of closure and a newfound determination. He busied himself making phone calls, his brain working overtime. He didn’t even hear the back door open. Dave wandered into the dining room just as James tucked his phone into his pocket. “What’s up, bro? You look like a man with a plan.”

  James felt a smile tug across his face, feeling hopeful for the first time in days. “I think I am.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Kay was having the day from hell at work. The last flight she’d taken had not only been two hours late, they’d also managed to misplace two pieces of her luggage, including the main set of lenses she needed for the shoot. She saw Rhonda’s number on caller ID and felt her heart skip a beat. “Great news, we’ve got a solid offer.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Over your asking price by five thousand and paying cash. Can you believe it? Cash. The only thing is the buyer’s asking for a quick close. We discussed that when you signed the papers, remember?”

  It was all a blur, but Kay had a
vague recollection of hearing something about that. “What happens now?” She was afraid to hear the answer.

  “That’s the other good news. The buyer wants the deal settled, but isn’t in a huge rush to move in, so if you can’t get your things out immediately I don’t think it will be an issue.”

  “Okay. Actually, I was thinking of coming back for a few days at the end of next week. I can make arrangements to have my things put in storage while I’m there.”

  “Sounds good. I don’t foresee any issues, Kay. The bank’s already verified that there are sufficient funds. I think this is a done deal. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.” I think.

  Kay’s head was spinning. This was definitely happening faster than she’d anticipated. It’s good, though. The house is settled, now I’m free to take whichever job I want.

  It didn’t take nearly as much thought as she’d anticipated. One week of shooting was enough to convince her that she didn’t want to spend the next several months on this assignment. She wanted to take the New York job. She could get an apartment in the city. Maybe even see James once in a while, if he still wanted to see her.

  She flipped her phone over in her hand, then dialed his number. Her heart thrummed against her ribs when he picked up on the first ring. “Hey.” She missed his voice.

  “Hi. I hope this isn’t too short notice, but do you think I can still get a seat at your opening?”

  He didn’t answer right away and she felt like couldn’t breathe. Please don’t say no.

  “I think that could be arranged,” he said. “What happened? Change of plans?”

  She closed her eyes, wishing she could take back the last few weeks and tell him she was coming home to try again, if he’d have her. “I’m taking the New York job. And I sold the house. I thought I’d take a week to try to get things in order before I have to start at the magazine. And I wanted to be there for your big night. If you still want me to come.” Her brain felt fuzzy and she hoped she wouldn’t pass out.

  “Of course I want you there. One thing though, the date changed. Can you be here on the 5th?”

  I’ll be there any day you want. “Sure. What happened?”

  “Just a last minute change of plans.”

  “Okay, sounds great. I’ll be there.”

  “I’ll look forward to it. Come around seven, okay?”

  The familiar adolescent buzz was back. He still wants to see me. Maybe it’s not too late for us to work something out. Maybe. She still had to tell Damon she wasn’t taking the job. And finalize the paperwork with the magazine. And close on the house. But everything seemed simpler. Clearer. She couldn’t wait to see James again.

  Kay arrived at the restaurant at a few minutes before seven. She’d had a crazy day that began with signing papers at the lawyer’s office. The sadness of finalizing the sale of the house was eclipsed by her excitement about seeing James again.

  She left the house early so she wouldn’t be late, but when she saw no cars there other than James’s Tahoe she wondered if she was earlier than she thought. She checked her phone. 6:55. She double checked his last text.

  See you at 7

  Could I have the date wrong? Her heart was skipping around faster than she could count. There’s nothing I can do if I got it wrong. I’m here now. And so is he. She held her breath and tugged open the heavy front door.

  The dining room was dimly lit, candles glowing on every table and all along the shiny bar top. Fresh flowers filled the small glass bowls. Soft music drifted from the speakers. It certainly looked like he was expecting guests. Where is everyone?

  She let the door close behind her and took a tentative step inside. James appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. He wore black pants and a deep gray dress shirt with a sleek abstract gray tie. Kay’s breath caught in her chest.

  “Hey.” He walked toward her, taking long strides that made her heart still. He bent and kissed her, his lips grazing her cheek, warm and gentle yet potent enough to send tingles through every part of her body.

  “The place looks great. Where is everyone?”

  A smile spread across his tempting lips, his eyes sparkling in the reflective light of the room. “For tonight, we’re everybody.”

  “What?”

  “You helped me put this place together, Kay. I had all the ideas jumbled around in my mind, but you’re the one who helped me see what it could really be. When you said you’d be back in town for a few nights I wanted to do something special, something for us.”

  “Okay.” She could barely hear her own voice.

  “Can I show you to our table?” He held out his hand.

  Kay wanted to leap into his arms, but instead she slipped her fingers between his. He led her to the corner table, where they’d dined together months before. Their first meal together. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  He held out her chair and she sat. His gaze swept over her legs as she crossed them, and she was glad she’d opted for a short skirt.

  He pulled a bottle of wine out of the silver ice bucket, wrapped a cloth around the base and poured some into each of their glasses. He raised his, looking her in the eye, making her feel lightheaded with the intensity of his gaze. “To pursuing your dreams.”

  She clinked her glass with his, unable to take her eyes off him as she took a sip. The cool, fruitiness filled her mouth, soothing her parched throat. “That’s really good.”

  “I thought it would go well with our first course. Be right back.” She watched as he made his way toward the kitchen. Still looks good coming and going. She felt herself grinning and took another sip of wine.

  James was back in a flash, a platter of oysters in his hand. He set it on the table.

  “I forgot to mention, the theme for the evening is: Kay’s Favorites.”

  “You’re off to a good start.” She tipped one of the pearly shells toward her lips and let the briny oyster slide into her mouth. James was watching her, his eyes intent. She swallowed, feeling herself shiver.

  Course after course of food accompanied their chatter. Kay couldn’t remember ever having a better meal. The food. The wine. The company. Everything was just right. She didn’t want the night to end.

  James retreated behind the bar and poured them each a brandy. He handed her a goblet, sliding the short stem between her fingers. He took his seat opposite her, swirling his glass. “I’m glad you came back for tonight, Kay. I’ve been kicking myself since that night you told me you were leaving. I handled it all wrong.”

  Kay’s fingers tightened around her glass. “What do you mean?” Please be saying what I hope you’re saying.

  “I meant what I said. I really do want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  Kay swallowed hard, trying to keep her hand steady.

  His voice grew deeper, more serious. “But I want to be happy too. And I’ve never been happier in my life than I am when I’m with you.”

  Kay’s eyes filled with tears. “I feel the same way. I shouldn’t have left like I did. I panicked and I took the easy way out. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” He took the goblet out of her hand and slipped his fingers between hers, his thumb stroking against her palm. “Just say you’re willing to give us a chance to be happy, together. I don’t want you to choose between me and your career. I know your work’s important to you, just like the restaurant is important to me. But it’s not as important as you are.”

  Kay nodded, feeling a tear slip down the length of her nose. James whisked it away, his fingers curving over her cheek, warm and tender. “I missed you so much,” she said.

  “I missed you too.” He leaned across the table and kissed her. His lips, sweet from the brandy, achingly warm, molded to hers. Too quickly he pulled away. “I’ll be right back.”

  What? She watched as he quickly crossed the dining room and disappeared into the kitchen. He was back in an instant, a large rectangular plate in his hands. The chef’s collection of desserts. He�
��s still thinking about food? Her mind was spinning as he set the plate before her. A ramekin of Gram’s vanilla custard with fresh raspberries, a tall shot glass of mango trifle, a wedge of chocolate truffle cake with one of the miniature antique pitchers of caramel sauce. She recognized all of it except for the chocolate box in the center. The white chocolate lid sat atop the dark chocolate box, slightly askew, a pale blue butter cream rose gracing its center.

  James’s heart pounded in his ears as he placed the plate in front of Kay. Her eyes were dark, full of questions. He lowered himself to one knee alongside her. “Kay, these past few months have been the happiest in my life. I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me. You’ve given me more than I could ever thank you for, including all of your grandmother’s secret recipes.”

  She smiled, her eyes still wide as he took her hand. “There’s something of my grandmother’s that I’d like to give to you, if you’ll accept it.” He lifted the lid off the chocolate box, exposing an antique engagement ring. “I love you, Kay. I have for a long time, and I always will. I want you to be a part of my future. Our future. Will you marry me?”

  He couldn’t breathe. Kay’s eyes darted from his face to the ring and back. Her silence seemed to last an eternity. Then she nodded. “Yes.” She breathed the word so softly he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  The wave of relief that swept through him was almost enough to knock him over. His hand shook as he took the ring and slipped it onto her finger. “I love you.”

  “I love you.” She sank her fingers into his hair and he pulled her close, his lips closing on hers, sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted.

  Kay couldn’t decide which to stare at, James’s handsome profile as he drove them back to her house, or the platinum ring that sparkled on her finger. He pulled into her driveway, the familiar gravel crunching beneath his tires, then she saw the sold sign and felt overwhelmed with sadness.

  “What’s wrong?” James reached for her hand.