Along Country Roads

by Mandy Magro

  Him? Dramatic? Was she serious? Maybe she should have a look in the mirror sometime. He really wanted to say all this out loud, but why bother upsetting her. She was right about needing to stay relaxed. ‘Pippa, please rethink this—if not for me then for the baby’s sake.’

  Taking a sip from her strawberry milkshake Pippa didn’t offer him a response and instead looked at him over the rim of the Styrofoam cup as though he were stupid. She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, a trait that had always infuriated Ryan, and did even more so now. Between all of this, and having to come to grips with not seeing Tilly’s beautiful face around Heartsong this past week, he felt as though he was hanging on tenterhooks.

  ‘Well?’ His voice was strained. He took another swig from his now cold coffee as he waited for her reply.

  ‘I am thinking of the baby. Like I’ve explained over and over, Ryan, it’s a dangerous test and I don’t want to risk having a miscarriage.’

  ‘I can completely understand that, Pippa, but like I’ve told you a hundred times, there is a test you can get done that’s of no risk to the baby.’

  ‘I don’t know if I trust it being one hundred percent accurate. What if they get it wrong and say you’re not the father when I know you are?’

  ‘I’ve gone through the testimonials and it’s a very reputable company. So I don’t think we will have any worries about it not being accurate.’

  ‘Didn’t you say I had to be ten weeks pregnant?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, I’m only seven weeks.’

  Ryan frowned. ‘And?’

  ‘Well, there’s not really any point talking about this, is there?’ She reached out and gave his hand a squeeze as she smiled in the way she knew usually made him susceptible to her charms. ‘So how about we shake all the stress of this off and just enjoy each other’s company.’

  Ryan nodded. As much as Pippa had hurt him and ruined what they’d had, after so many years together how could he not still care for her, especially when she might be carrying their child? It would be cold hearted not to. ‘We can’t keep sidestepping the issue of who the father is, Pippa. We have to get this sorted once and for all.’

  Pippa didn’t flinch, instead dropping her gaze to her lap. ‘But it’s two thousand dollars, Ryan, and I don’t have that kind of money to throw away.’ Looking back up at him she blinked back welling tears.

  Ryan suddenly felt bad for being so gung-ho about the test. But he couldn’t help himself—the sleepless nights were sending him round the bend. ‘I’m sorry I’m a bit stressed out, but I think it’s a given in this situation. Don’t you?’

  Pippa pulled her hand back from his and focused on stirring what was left of her milkshake with her straw. ‘It’s not like you’re welcoming me back into your life with open arms, Ryan, so I have to take my role as an expectant mother very seriously and start thinking about buying baby clothes and stuff for the nursery I’m going to set up at my parents’ place.’

  ‘Why will you go to your parents’ place?’

  ‘Because I won’t be able to stay in my apartment … with a newborn I won’t be able to work at the salon anymore and so I won’t be able to afford the rent.’ Pulling a tissue from her handbag, she wiped her tears. ‘As much as I hate the idea, I’ll have to bite the bullet and move back to Mum and Dad’s for a while. I just hope Dad curbs his drinking because I don’t want him drunk around the baby all the time.’

  The thought of Pippa’s alcoholic father having day-to-day contact with the baby made Ryan’s stomach churn. There was no way he’d ever want his child under the same roof as that obnoxious man. He needed to put a stop to this. ‘If it is my baby I will be buying all that stuff and making sure you’re taken care of. There’s no need for you to move back to your parents’ house.’

  ‘Okay, thank you, Ryan.’ Pippa was sobbing. ‘I’m so scared of everything that’s happening.’

  It made him want to comfort her. He stood and made his way round to the other side of the park bench. He was being an arse and needed to take a step back. Pippa was clearly going through a lot of her own stuff too, and he had to stop feeling so damn sorry for himself. It took two to tango, and it wasn’t Pippa’s fault he was missing Matilda like crazy. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She nestled into him. Before he spoke, he made sure his tone was going to come across gently. ‘I’m happy to pay for the paternity test, Pippa. I think it’s worth it so we all know how to move forwards with this.’

  Pippa pulled herself free of him and blew her nose loudly on her crumpled tissue. ‘I don’t know why you’re being so pushy about this, Ryan. I told you I know it’s yours. Why can’t you just be happy with that and wait until the baby is born before we start getting tests done?’

  ‘Because, Pippa, even though you don’t want to acknowledge it, the outcome of whether this baby is mine or not makes a big difference to where I’m headed in my life.’

  Pippa’s face knotted up. ‘You mean if it isn’t yours it will give you a chance to jump into bed with Matilda? That is, if you haven’t already.’ She looked at him wretchedly.

  Ryan bit his tongue. Pippa had a habit of speaking before she thought about the impact of her words, and he didn’t want to argue with her, especially as she was pregnant. He also didn’t want to deny that her words held some truth. ‘Tilly and I are just friends, and always will be. I hope you can come to accept that, Pippa, or it will cause problems between you and me in the long run.’

  Pippa drew in a shaky breath and nodded. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I’m so desperate to get back what we had, and I feel like Matilda has stolen some of you from me, the best parts of you in fact, and that hurts like hell.’

  Ryan didn’t know what to say, because she was right, Matilda had stolen his heart, but for the sake of his child having a happy home, he would do what a father should do and think of everyone else before himself. If he was going to be completely honest he did still care for Pippa, so maybe, just maybe, he might be able to somehow get back to where he was with her before she had done the dirty on him. He had to at least try, didn’t he? So, he reached out and took Pippa’s hands in his. ‘I’m sorry you feel like that. I can’t promise you anything right now, but I can say with complete certainty that if this baby turns out to be mine, I will do my very best to leave the past in the past.’

  ‘Oh, Ryan …’ Pippa’s face lit up. ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’

  ‘I’m saying I will try and move past you cheating on me. I can’t promise I’ll be able to but at the very least I can give it a damn good shot.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m sorry but that’s the best I can give you, Pippa.’

  Throwing her arms out, Pippa pulled him into a tight hug. ‘You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.’ She kissed him on the cheek, twice, before looking intently into his eyes. ‘I love you, Ryan.’

  Ryan couldn’t reciprocate that, but he did the next best thing. ‘I do care about you, Pippa. You have my word that I will be the very best father any child has ever had.’

  CHAPTER

  22

  Still grinning after having a friendly conversation with the teller, Matilda stepped out of the sliding doors of the bank. A strange sensation instantly washed over her and she felt as though she was being watched. She’d had the same feeling on the way to the bank, but had put it down to an overactive imagination. She looked from left to right, trying to pinpoint why she felt so odd. But nothing and nobody seemed out of the ordinary. Satisfied she was imagining things she took a few steps forwards.

  But then …

  She stopped dead in her tracks as two people canoodling at the park across the road caught her gaze. The cash bag she was carrying dropped to the pavement as her smile instantly faded and her heart leapt to her throat. A kind passer-by stopped to pick it up for her, and she quickly said thank you as she moved to somewhere a little less conspicuous, behind a parked Armguard truck. Peeking around the back of it, she felt her heart sq
ueeze even tighter as she saw the connection between them. So her instincts had been right, he was going to get back with her, before even knowing if the baby was his. Or maybe he did know and just hadn’t told her. Either way, as usual, she had got the rough end of the stick.

  Damn men, they were all the same.

  Out of sight out of mind.

  The reason she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Ryan since he had dropped her off at the pub almost a week ago was now apparent—he and Pippa looked extremely cosy wrapped in each other’s arms. Even Lisa and Samara had called in once to see how she was faring and to let her know Huckleberry was doing well, and Jake had popped in two nights ago for a few beers and a chat on her shift. All the while, none of them had mentioned Ryan. It was as if they knew something she didn’t.

  Tears stung her eyes but she blinked them back. She wanted to run across the road and tell him he was the biggest bastard on earth, but she knew she had no right. Ryan had been upfront with her the entire time. As his friend, if he was happy, she needed to find a way to be happy for him—as much as it killed her.

  Totally absorbed, a tap on her shoulder sent her spinning around, and she was met with a grumpy looking guy dressed in an Armguard uniform. ‘Can I help you?’ He didn’t look impressed that she was hiding behind his truck.

  She glanced to where he was looking, at the cash bag in her hand. ‘Oh, sorry, it’s not what it looks like. I was just, um …’ She laughed a little uncomfortably. ‘Sorry, I’ll get out of your way.’ She took off down the footpath at a hundred miles an hour, praying to God that Ryan or Pippa didn’t spot her and at the same time trying her damned hardest to keep her welling emotions at bay.

  Two minutes later she was dashing through the back door of the pub, relief flooding her when she spotted Greg serving a customer at the Keno till. He gave her a quick smile and she tried to return it. Dumping the bag and the deposit book back in the office she made a quick escape up the stairs, avoiding one of the other barmaids along the way, and headed to her room, desperately needing some privacy. Thank God she was on her lunch break because there was no way she could face anyone. Unlocking her door and making sure to close it behind her, she ran in and dove onto the bed, her sobs finally escaping.

  A firm knock at the door startled her, and she sat up, still clutching a pillow between her arms. She decided not to say anything, hoping whoever it was would think she was having a power nap and leave her be. But the knocking only grew louder and more insistent.

  ‘I know you’re in there, Tilly. Are you okay?’

  Damn it all, it was Greg. She couldn’t ignore him. ‘Yeah, I’m fine, just catching up on some rest before I get back to it.’

  ‘Can I come in?’

  ‘Yup, hang on.’ Cursing, she jumped up and made her way to the door. Quickly wiping her face, she squared her shoulders, put on a happy face and then swung the door open.

  Greg took one look at her and concern wrapped its way across his usually smiling face. ‘You’re not one bit okay. What’s happened?’

  She shrugged. ‘Nothing.’

  He leant against the doorway and studied her. Folding his arms, he shook his head. ‘I’m not buying that for one second, Tilly. I can tell something’s bothering you. You walked out of here smiling and came back looking as though you’d seen a ghost.’

  She bit her lip, more to stop it quivering than anything else. ‘Righto, you got me.’ Sighing, she stepped aside and waved him in. ‘I’ll make us a cuppa and tell you all about it.’

  Greg flashed her a smile. ‘Good, because I wasn’t leaving until you told me the truth.’

  Matilda chuckled. ‘I kind of gathered that.’

  In her kitchenette, Matilda made herself busy while Greg pulled a chair up at her little two-seater table squashed up against the only window in the room. ‘White with three sugars, isn’t it?’ she said over her shoulder, admiring how the orange lilies she had bought at the corner shop yesterday were opening up in the vase she’d borrowed from Greg.

  ‘Yeah, spot on.’

  ‘You know you really should cut back on the sugar, it’s not good for you.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I know, little miss health freak. But a man’s got to have some vices in life.’

  ‘Fair enough, I suppose.’ Matilda carried the coffees to the table and sat down. She couldn’t help but notice how Greg’s eyes kept darting towards the window. He almost looked as though he’d paled, but she couldn’t be sure.

  She caught his eye. ‘Now you look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ She leant over to look out the window, trying to spot whatever it was he was looking at. But there was nothing out of the ordinary.

  Greg chuckled and shook his head. ‘Sorry, thoughts were drifting to work, as usual. Nothing for you to worry about.’ He took a sip, nodding his approval. ‘You make a mean cuppa, Tilly. I’ll have to get you to make coffee for me more often.’

  ‘I already make you at least four a day,’ Matilda said with a smile. ‘By the way, I used coconut sugar instead of your usual white sugar, which is way healthier for you.’ She winked. ‘Tastes pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.’

  ‘You sneaky devil.’ Greg took another sip, rolled it around in his mouth like it was wine and then grinned. ‘You know what, I can’t tell the bloody difference.’

  ‘I know, right?’

  ‘You might have converted me, Tilly. That’s one step closer to being a healthier me. Thanks.’

  ‘Someone’s got to take care of you around here.’

  Greg nudged her. ‘Oi, are you saying I can’t take care of myself?’

  ‘Nope, but you’re so busy making sure all your staff are happy, including me, and listening to your customers’ worries and trying to help them out where you can, that I’ve noticed you don’t take much time out for yourself.’

  ‘That’s all part of being a publican, I suppose, and it beats sitting around in my lonely apartment.’ He smiled a little awkwardly. ‘The life of a bachelor is not as fun as everyone says it is.’

  ‘So why don’t you find yourself a wife and settle down?’

  ‘I wish it were that easy, Tilly, but I’m afraid it’s not.’

  ‘I don’t see why it shouldn’t be for you. You’re such a nice guy, and even though you’re old enough to be my father I have to say you’re very handsome.’ Matilda noticed Greg flinched ever so slightly. She wondered if it was because she’d referred to him as being old. She quickly tumbled over her words. ‘I don’t mean that you’re over the hill or anything, I don’t understand why some lucky woman hasn’t snapped you up yet.’

  ‘Plenty of them have tried, but I haven’t found anyone who can beat what I felt for my very first love.’ A look of nostalgia crossed Greg’s face before he took another sip from his cup.

  ‘Aw, that’s so sweet, and so sad at the same time.’ Matilda’s brow knitted into a concerned frown. ‘How come you never married her, if she was the love of your life? I thought you told me if you had a good thing you should grab it with both hands.’

  ‘I stand by those words.’ He shrugged. ‘I would have. But she skipped town and I never saw her again. I’ve waited a lifetime for her to maybe come round, and come back to me, but …’

  ‘Ouch, I’m so sorry.’ Matilda cradled her cup. ‘Do you still want kids?’

  ‘That’s a hard question to answer …’

  ‘Why?’

  Greg brushed some fluff from his impeccably ironed shirt and Matilda instantly regretted asking the question—he looked very uncomfortable.

  ‘I didn’t know I wanted kids until it was too late.’

  He smiled softly, but Matilda swore she saw tears in his eyes. Her heart ached for him. She reached over and gave his arm a friendly tap. ‘Never say never. You’re only forty-four. Men can be older than women, you don’t have to worry about being childbearing age.’ She hoped she sounded convincing because, on the contrary, with the time it would take to find a woman and fall in love, she thought he would be way beyond having a chi
ld now.

  As if reading her thoughts he said, ‘Nah, I’m past all that.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Greg.’

  ‘That’s life, I suppose.’

  ‘True, life can really suck sometimes.’ She flashed him a smile. ‘I’ve got an idea—you can borrow me as your daughter. My father is dead to me and my mum gone, so I’m up for hire.’ She laughed good-humouredly.

  If Greg seemed a little out of sorts before, he now looked as though she’d punched him in the chest.

  ‘Sorry, did I say something to upset you? I was only joking about you borrowing me as your daughter …’

  ‘Oh no, sorry, I would be proud to have you as my daughter, any father would.’ He stared down at his coffee. ‘I was just sad to hear you say your dad is dead to you. Sounds like some bad blood there.’

  ‘You could say that.’ Not wanting to go into it, she leant back in her chair. ‘But like you said, that’s life.’ She forced a smile. ‘Anyways, back to you and finding you a potential wife—I’m going to be on the look out now.’

  ‘To be honest, I think I’m too set in my ways after years of living on my own.’ Greg shrugged, then chuckled a little too loudly. ‘Enough about me … spill the beans about what’s upset you this afternoon.’ He folded his arms. ‘If it’s a bloke being horrible to you, I promise I’ll whip his butt into next year.’

  ‘Thanks, Greg, but there’ll be no need for that.’ Matilda grinned for a few seconds before the heartache of the situation stole her smile. Drawing in a deep breath she said, ‘I saw Ryan and Pippa looking very much a couple at the park, and to be perfectly honest, as much as I don’t like to admit it, it crushed me.’

  ‘You really like Ryan, don’t you?’

  ‘I sure do, and it sucks because I can’t do anything about how I feel.’

  ‘Don’t lose faith, Tilly. You never know what the future may have in store.’