Angels & Assassins: BWWM Romance

by K. Alex Walker

  “Where’s Ari?” he asked, noticing that he hadn’t spotted Julien’s wife. Out of their six man crew, only two were married, and of those two, only one was still alive.

  “There was a problem with the birthday cake,” Julien replied. “I was going to go, but since I’ve been overseas, she told me to soak in as much time with Thandie as possible.”

  Gage found himself wondering if Tayler would have done the same if they were married and had a child. Perhaps even more than one. There was no doubt in his mind that she would make a good mother and wife, but he had no idea if she wanted those things out of life. A part of him hoped she did, but he wasn’t quite ready to divulge in the why.

  “I meant what I said before,” Julien added. “I know we all went through our own forms of the same shit, and I don’t think any of us handled it well, but I’m glad to see your cocoon bursting, my friend. Alive looks good on you.”

  The man that Tayler had found lying in the parking garage and the man now sitting across from Julien were not the same people. It wasn’t until that moment that he’d even realized the difference. He’d gone from not wanting to live, to a compulsive need to live. Every day that he was breathing meant another day he was able to see Tayler, listen to her attempts at jokes, and watch the color gradients in her eyes as they changed while he was inside her.

  Thandie’s ponytails bobbed as she came running over. Excited and out of breath, she rushed into her father’s arms, and Gage had no idea how to explain the look on Julien’s face as he held her, kissed her forehead, and tamed the bit of frizz that had escaped from her hair tie. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Julien with Thandie. Hell, he’d been at the hospital the afternoon she was born. Yet it was the first time he’d ever noticed Julien’s reaction.

  He looked up just as Ari came through the door, her long, straight hair gone and now shaped into a tapered, curly fro. It emphasized the slant of her jawbones perfectly and brought out her brown eyes even more. It was also the first time he’d noticed that she and Tayler had similar earthen, red clay complexions.

  When she spotted him, she sent him a smile that was impossible to question whether or not it was genuine. It completely erased the tired lines around her eyes, which had probably come from late night planning and playing chaperone to over a dozen preschool-aged children.

  “Gage, so nice to see you!” She greeted him with a half-hug while she balanced a sheet cake in the other hand. “Julien told me you’d be stopping by.”

  “Only for a bit,” Gage answered. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

  “You’re not staying for cake?”

  “I’d love to, but I have to get back home.”

  “Can’t stay away from your lady friend, huh?” She gave him a playful jab with her elbow. “I get it. There’s something magnetic about falling in love.”

  An image of Tayler sailed through his mind, and he wondered if that was what was happening. Ari had said it so easily, it was as though she could see it all over him. Given the way he could see it all over her whenever she was with Julien, it was hard not to take stock in her words.

  “Actually, I think I’ll stay a bit,” he said, looking down at the cake. “But, can I take a slice of that to go?”

  When he pulled the bike into the garage, the sun had already set. Walking into house, it was the first time since it was built that the place actually smelled like a home. He followed the scent to the kitchen where he found Tayler with her hair pinned up into a bun, and staring into the pot she was stirring.

  It was also the first time that it felt like home. The house, no matter how immaculate the special tile or decorative piece he placed inside, had always felt empty. Now, it was warmed by Tayler’s presence.

  “Smells good.”

  She turned around and smiled at him in the same way Ari had smiled at him just moments before. However, Tayler being happy to see him had a completely different effect on his system.

  “Thank you,” she replied, motioning him over with a finger.

  He followed as though commanded by an invisible string. As he’d done that morning, she touched a spot on her cheek, and he bent to place a kiss there. Her smile grew wider and she turned back to her task. He made himself comfortable by situating his body behind her with his hands around her waist.

  “It’s called Waakye,” she said before he had a chance to ask her what she was making. “Rice and beans, and it’s almost done. With it, I’m making Chuletas de Puerco, which is essentially marinated pork chops I’ll be throwing on the grill.”

  “So dinner tonight is a Cuban-Ghanaian fusion?” he asked.

  “I guess you could say that.” She pressed back into his chest. “I missed you a little bit today. I didn’t realize how much time we’ve spent together these past several weeks. Did you miss me?”

  “More than a little bit.” He brought a foam container around to her face. “This is for you. It’s birthday cake.”

  “Gage, if it’s a surprise you’re not supposed to tell me what it is,” she replied with a laugh.

  “Then guess what kind of cake it is.”

  She tilted her nose in the air. “Yellow with butter cream icing.”

  “Nope.” He held the container above her head and opened it. “Wait. It is. You’re right.”

  “The nose never lies, Gage.”

  “Did I ever tell you that the friend I met today’s wife is a dentist?”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “You eat a lot of sweets.”

  “Who’s plying me with them?”

  “I like you happy.”

  “You just being your awkward self makes me insanely happy for some odd reason.”

  He noticed the slight prickling of goose bumps on her arms and the even more slight flush deepening her skin tone, and hoped that she was also thinking about him contorting her into different positions. Even if she wasn’t, his imagination was vivid enough for them both.

  “How good are you on the grill?” she suddenly asked. “If you knock out those pork chops, we can eat and be done with dinner that much quicker.”

  Grabbing the platter from the countertop, he made his way to the gas grill out on the pool deck.

  “One more thing.” She whistled and Ares came ambling into the room, wobbling on a pair of light blue casts. “Just in case you need company.”

  Barely an hour later, Gage volunteered to stack the dishwasher and clean the kitchen after their dinner, remembering a long time ago that Julien had mentioned it made Ari happy whenever he shared the housework between them. It was also the least he could do considering he’d had several helpings of the meal. Her words hadn’t done the food justice, and he hoped they would spend several more nights just like this one, eating together out by the pool.

  While he cleaned up downstairs, she took a shower. When he was finished, he tucked Ares away in his own designated mini-room just off the living area and found Tayler sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. The shirt was tightly stretched across her breasts. The bottoms, although loose, still hugged the lovely curviness of her lower half.

  He hopped in and out of the shower in the quickest wash he’d ever taken, and when he stepped out of the bathroom, there was a large piece of brown paper covering something on the bed with a red bow awkwardly positioned at the top.

  “It’s for you,” she announced.

  “What is it?”

  Her forehead met her palm. “We’re going to have a long talk about surprises in the morning.” She motioned to the bed. “Unwrap it. Well, pull the paper off.”

  He reached for the paper.

  “But wrap the towel around your waist first. If not, we will never get past this point.”

  He half-smiled, secured the towel, and reached for the paper a second time. Underneath revealed a large picture frame set. Some of the frames were completely made of glass while others were modern and trimmed in black wood. There were a few that had spaces for
multiple pictures in a single frame, and others with shadow-box insets.

  “I knew that if I got you this, I could possibly ruin everything good that’s happened between us these past several weeks,” she explained. “It’s not my place to ask why you don’t have any pictures up and it’s even further from my place to try to remedy it. But I care about you, Gage. You’ve become an incredible friend. I know the way we met was unusual, but over that time, I’ve seen you change. I know in my heart that you won’t go back to where I found you. I know even more that you will continue to move forward and when you do, the pictures will go up. This is just my way, even if I’m no longer in your life when that happens, of still being there for you.”

  He hadn’t even noticed that she’d realized that his house had been completely devoid of personal touches. After his family died, he’d arranged for all of their belongings to be sent to California. Since his house was still being built at that time, he’d sorted through the belongings and placed them in a storage facility. Now they sat in a room off of the pool and not once since they’d been placed there had he looked at them.

  He looked up when he realized that several seconds had passed between them in silence. She was staring at him as though she was expecting a backlash. Had it been anyone else, there probably would have been some sort of argument or uproar. Back then, he hadn’t been ready to address what had happened or look at his family’s smiling faces and know that he hadn’t been there to save them. But this wasn’t anyone else. It was Tayler.

  “I want to show you something,” he finally said, pulling out a drawer and stepping into a pair of boxers.

  He took her hand, walked all the way to the pool area, and stopped in front of the small room off of the house.

  He punched in a code on the keypad, opened the door, and flipped a switch. An overhead light came on to reveal a small room in the shape of a shoe box, adorned only by stark white paint and a row of shelves on the left wall. It was filled with cardboard boxes and other miscellaneous items, the larger ones draped by dust cloths. There were no windows and the emptiness seemed to allow an even cold to settle over the space.

  Tayler ventured inside ahead of him and Gage watched her with a tilted head, wondering if she realized how much she trusted him. She had no idea where they were or what they were doing, but she embraced it without any sense of fear.

  “It’s what’s left of my family’s belongings,” he spoke up.

  She reached toward his father’s guitar hanging on the wall, a Gibson the color of beech wood, but then pulled her hand back. His father actually couldn’t play guitar to save his life, but the instrument had looked so beautiful that he’d purchased it just to have as décor in their Australian home.

  “You can touch it.”

  “It seems like if I do, it’ll crumble,” she answered, moving on to a clear storage container. “Books?”

  “My mother loved to read.”

  “What was her name?”

  He hesitated. It had been years since he’d last uttered any of their names.

  “Anne. My father’s name was Steven.”

  “And your brothers?”

  “Ty and Zach.”

  “So where did the name Gage come from?”

  “It’s a really old European word,” he explained. “My mother was actually born in London but met my father while vacationing in Australia with her sisters. A gage was something that was thrown down in response to challenges to duel as an act of good faith. At least, that’s where she told me it comes from.”

  “Kinda like collateral?”

  “You could say that.”

  “Protection of some sort then.” She glanced up at him. “Did she ever say why she chose that name for you specifically?”

  He shrugged. If she’d chosen it because he was supposed to be some sort of protector for her, then in that regard, he’d failed miserably.

  “Don’t do that. You didn’t fail her somehow because of what happened,” Tayler replied, addressing his thoughts. “If you ask me, I think she probably named you Gage because people see babies as angels, and angels have been long touted as a form of protection from the ills of life. Maybe she named you Gage because you, as her angel, protected her from ever having a reason not to live.”

  He wondered if she realized that she’d just described, in detail, the very same way he was beginning to see her.

  “Well, I’m the farthest thing from an angel,” he replied.

  “Then what are you? An assassin?”

  “Once upon a time.”

  She shrugged and continued her voyage forward. “Depends on who you’re asking. Even as an assassin, you’re still very much some sort of savior in my eyes.”

  She stopped when she’d reached the shelves on the wall, and he took what he realized was his first step into the room. The floor was the same travertine that could be found in other areas of the house, but these lacked any semblance of heat.

  She gently pulled one of the books from the shelf. None of the items had collected any dust as the room was regularly tended to by a cleaning service. Though he’d had no intention of venturing inside, he hadn’t the stomach to allow his family’s belongings to turn into rubbish.

  “It’s a photo album,” she pointed out, gingerly touching the leathery, red vintage cover whose seams were bound together by ribbon. In addition to reading, his mother had been very fond of arts and crafts. He had dozens of memories sitting with her in the living room creating costumes, paintings, and beach shell art with Zach and Ty. As she’d put it, quality time didn’t belong to the television.

  He took another step further into the room. Tayler’s gaze fell to his position near the door and lingered there for a few seconds, then she walked over and stood next to him before flipping back the lid.

  The first picture was his parents’ wedding photo from the late seventies, a picture that his mother despised only because of the height of her hair. His father was dapper in a grey suit, his dark hair long and gracing his neck.

  “Her dress is beautiful,” Tayler commented.

  “She kept it for her daughter to wear at her own wedding one day, but then she ended up with three boys,” he replied.

  “Where is it now?”

  “I got rid of it.”

  She didn’t flinch or look up at him. There was no indication that she was put off by his response or that she was appalled he could have done something so callous. She simply turned the page.

  “Is this you?” she asked. “This has to be you. This baby’s scowling.”

  A nostalgic smile pulled at his cheek. “It’s me.”

  “You’ve always been a cutie pie then.”

  She nudged his side and continued on. The next was a picture of him with his brothers standing in what used to be their graveled driveway.

  “Ty and Zach were twins,” he explained. “I was a whole seven years older. They were suspiciously born within forty weeks of the time I spent a month with Mo’s family while my parents went on a second honeymoon.”

  She laughed and continued to flip. He eventually eased into the experience, giving her the story behind the photos that had one, and even taking time out to gaze at the ones that didn’t.

  He’d tried to forget their faces, but his dreams hadn’t been kind enough to comply. In fact, their features had only become more pronounced each time he closed his eyes or was caught in a moment of free thought. Even Ty’s scar over his right eye, the one he’d gotten after falling on their father’s speed boat running away from a fish that had hopped in, had become more pronounced. In reality, it was a small nick above his brow. In his dreams, the fibrous tissue extended from his brow down to the top of his cheekbone.

  The scar was the only thing that had distinguished Ty’s face from Zach’s. They’d both had the same dark hair and dark eyes like their father. He’d completely commandeered their mother’s features.

  “Why’d you bring me in here, Gage?” Tayler asked in a slightly knowing tone. She’d al
ready figured out why he had but wanted him to share his feelings with her in true Tayler fashion. He would never admit it out loud, but it was cathartic.

  “It’s my first time walking in here since this room was built,” he confessed.

  “And what made you want to come in here with me?”

  “Your gift. Thank you, by the way.”

  “You’ve done excellent work on those manners, Sir Gage.” She closed the album. “And, you’re welcome. What was it about my gift?”

  “Are we going to have a full on Oprah moment?”

  “Yes. Yes, we are.”

  He smiled despite himself. “I don’t get very many gifts and especially not ones that are so personal. What you said about me moving on and getting better, it made me think about my family. Then when I thought about them, it was the first time that I didn’t feel the pain.”

  She returned the album to the shelf and moved back to his side. “Is that the same pain you feel when you go dark?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me what it feels like. Where do you feel it?”

  He placed an open palm over his left pectoral muscle.

  “You feel it in your heart?”

  “You really know how to make this a true Oprah moment, don’t you?”

  “But that is where your heart is.” She covered his hand with hers. “I’m a doctor. I would know.”

  He was smiling again.

  She seemed to be transforming right before his eyes. Now, there was more about her face although he wasn’t sure what that more was. Her eyes were still clear and nearly colorless, her hair locked. Her lips were still full and could pull him clear across a room. But there was something else. He was now able to envision his future, something that he hadn’t been able to do for years, and every aspect of that life included her in it.