The Heart the Cowboy Broke

by M J Andrews

  “What are you doing here?” she squealed in delight.

  “I couldn’t stay away, darling. As soon as you left the house in that dress, I was a goner,” he pulled her closed and kissed her.

  Sawyer looked around for Lexi and found her behind the bar with Daisy offering free shots. Lexi had several drinks in her system when a seductive slow dance came on from Pistol Annies, “I feel a sin coming on”. She yanked on Finn’s hand and dragged him onto the dance floor. They began a typical slow dance and Finn kept a respectable distance. But Lexi wasn’t feeling that and turned so her ass was grinding up against his hips. Finn’s hands fell to her hips as she twisted and swayed her curves against his body.

  That was it. He was done. Rage burned in his eyes as he zoned in on his target. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d made his way to the dance floor and stood in front of the couple. He bored holes into his brother before he spoke.

  “You. Go. Now,” Sawyer commanded.

  Finn was a smart man and he quickly raised his hands off Lexi’s hips and stepped back. The smile on his face continued to grow as he walked farther towards the bar where the girls were drinking. Leaving him to face a pissed off Lexi, who’d had one too many tequila shots, for him to deal with.

  He grasped her wrists and pulled her towards the rear exit where they could speak privately. She rolled her eyes as he dragged her along. He felt eyes digging into the back of his head. He pushed the door open with force and slammed it behind them. Lexi made her way across the alley and leaned against a brick wall.

  “What the heck, Sawyer?”

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my brother?” he snapped.

  She crossed her arms over her chest, causing her breast to push up high revealing the sultry curve of her mounds. “I was having a good time! What did it look like I was doing?”

  “It looked like you were about to fuck my brother on the dance floor!” he gritted.

  She raised one of her brows as her stare narrowed on him, “What does it matter to you who I fuck!?” she screamed back and he could see her heart beating wildly in her chest. She was enjoying this. And then it hit him. She was trying to make him jealous.

  Well, congratulations, it worked.

  He held her stare as he strode quickly towards her, “If you’re going to fuck a McGuire, Lexi. It’s going to be me and only me,” he spat, as his body pinned her in place against the wall. He spied goosebumps crawl up her arms as she heard his words. She was turned on and he wanted her that way.

  Without any warning, Lexi’s hands yanked the nape of his neck towards her and forced her lips to his with a groan. He kissed her back with the viciousness and desperation of a starved man. Her hot tongue ploughed into his mouth and covered his lips in her sweet taste. God, he couldn’t get enough of her and he wanted to taste every inch of her.

  But he wouldn’t.

  He couldn’t.

  Reluctantly, he yanked himself away from Lexi. She deserved better than him and he knew it. She deserved someone who hadn’t already broken her heart and caused her pain. He couldn’t look at the scar without feeling regret that he couldn’t prevent her pain. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

  “I can’t,” he whispered.

  Lexi’s breathing slowed and she smoothed out her skirt before turning on her heel and walking back into the bar. He needed to get his head on straight so he strutted into the bar and approached his brother and the deputies.

  “I need you to do something for me,” he said to Finn.

  “Depends on what it is, brother,” he smirked.

  “I need you to stay with Lexi tonight and until I arrive tomorrow morning. The deputies here will be standing guard outside the house, but I want someone I trust on the inside with her.”

  Finn’s face dropped and his brow scrunched together in confusion. Sawyer handed him the car keys and without a second glance, exited the Barn House. He was just going to hurt her more if he was close to her. He needed to keep her safe, not break her heart all over again.

  Chapter 14

  Lexi

  Lexi sat on the cold toilet seat in a small stall of the ladies bathroom. She needed a moment to get her shit together before she had to face Sawyer. She wanted to hate the man. She really wanted to hate everything about him. But she couldn’t. She needed to apologize to him and she needed to stop making his job more difficult than it needed to be.

  She was getting ready to open the stall when the door to the ladies room flew open and two female voices flooded the room.

  “Can you believe she thinks Finn is into her?” One female scoffed.

  “I know right! As if anyone could find her attractive with that ugly scar on her face. She wasn’t pretty before, but now, she’s just a monster,” the other commented.

  Lexi peered through the small opening in the stall to catch a glimpse of the girls who were about to get their asses kicked. Both bleached blond. Typical. Their skirts were so tight that they looked like overstuffed sausages. Not to mention you could see what they had for breakfast if they bent the wrong way. Lexi had spent far too long trying to love herself and she wouldn’t let two space cadets tarnish her confidence or intimidate her.

  With that, she opened the door and eyed the girls in the mirror. Both of their eyes widened when they spotted Lexi. Without a word, Lexi made her way to the sink, where she washed and dried her hands while keeping an eye on the women before her. Both of them diverted their gaze, proving to Lexi that besides being rude, they were also cowards. It was easy for people to talk behind someone’s back, but the cowards would never do it to their face.

  Lexi kept a big smile on her face the whole time and as she left the restroom, she hauled open the door before glancing back at Mandy and Candy.

  “If I ever see either of you within twenty feet of a McGuire man, I will ensure that you will be sorry. Not that the McGuires would slump so low as to risk an STD by shacking up with the town bicycles,” she lashed as she walked out the door.

  Why people felt the need to constantly poke fun at her for something she could not control, she wouldn’t know? She couldn’t change the scar on her face or the past that created it. But it’d be a cold long day in hell before she’d let those two insult her.

  Lexi reached Aubrey and Jordan who sat at the bar while Finn and Daisy did some line dancing. Her eyes searched for Sawyer, with no success. She slid up to the girls and grabbed a beer while she watched the people on the floor dancing.

  “Where’s the annoying Sheriff?” Lexi asked.

  “He left,” Aubrey responded.

  Left?

  What happened to the straight-talking cop who was dedicated to her protection?

  “Where’d he go?” She asked.

  Aubrey shrugged and took a sip of her beer. “I believe he went home,” Aubrey was wrapped in the embrace of Remi from behind and he dragged her out onto the dance floor. They were so in love it was sickening. As much as she didn’t want that connection with someone, she found herself feeling jealous of them. She would struggle to find someone who had the balls to go on a second date with her after seeing her scar, for the rest of her life.

  Jordan turned her back to Lexi as she chatted up some young buck from City Hall. Newfound anger formed in her chest at the thought that Sawyer left her after his big speech on ensuring her safety.

  She grabbed her purse off the chair and slipped on her jean jacket. She snuck out of the bar without much issue and was able to call a cab. Of course, the cab was nothing like what you would expect to see in Manhattan. No, the cab was driven by Earl, who coincidentally also drove the school bus. Earle was a kind older man, who had lost his wife several years ago to Cancer. He’d always been kind to her and she appreciated all the kindness she could get after the accident. Lord knew she was hard enough on herself, she didn’t need others degrading her.

  “Hey Earl,” Lexi greeted as she slid into the passenger side of the painted green minivan.

  “Howdy Da
rling. Long time no see there Lex. You heading back to your folks' house?” Earl was a jolly man who had a distinct resemblance to Santa Claus. He had a long white shaggy beard and piercing blue eyes and a kind soul.

  The ride back to Jenkin’s ranch was quiet and Lexi debated sending Sawyer a text or letting Jordan know that she’d left. When Earl pulled up to the gate of her ranch and went to get out to open the gate, she stopped him. She was fine to walk the half-mile to the main house. Earl was hesitant to do so and refused to let her pay him.

  Lexi watched as the green minivan’s brake lights faded in the distance. She went to the old tacky mailbox and opened the door to check the mail. She walked as she shifted quickly through her mail until one particular envelope caught her attention. There was no return date and no stamp to indicate it was mailed the regular way.

  She ripped the seam and opened the letter. Using the flashlight from her phone she unwrapped the sheet of paper. Her step faltered and her heart stopped. Her body began to shake and she quickly searched her surroundings to see if anyone lurked in the darkness. She yanked off her pepper spray from her key chain and did what she didn’t want to do. She ran. She grasped her fingers tightly around the letter as she sprinted to the house, refusing to look behind her in case she lost her resolve.

  Once she reached the house, she slammed the door shut and locked the deadbolts. She tried hard to breathe before she punched in a phone number to call for help. She called the only person she knew would know what to do at that moment.

  “Hello?” Sawyer’s gruff voice radiated through the other end of the phone. She tried to regain her breath before she spoke, but a sob left her before she could stop it.

  “Sawyer…” she gasped.

  “Lexi, what’s wrong? Where are you?” Sawyer asked, as she heard clothing tussle in the background. She’d woken him.

  “Sawyer, it’s Brant. I need you at the ranch now,” she plead.

  “Stay on the phone Lexi. Don’t hang up, you hear me? No matter what don’t hang up,” his voice was frantic and she heard him get into his truck as she struggled to maintain her composure. She heard a car come up the drive, and Sawyer yelling that it was him.

  Lexi rose from the floor, the note still crumpled in her shaking hands as she twisted the deadbolt to let Sawyer into her home. The door swung open and Sawyer grabbed her shoulders and examined her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, the compassion flowed through his tone. With that, he pulled her into his arms and held her as she sobbed uncontrollably.

  “Lexi, sweetheart, you need to tell me what’s going on,” he asked calmly, as his warm palm circled her back in soothing motions.

  Lexi offered him the crumpled paper as she took a step back from him. Her hands continued to shake and the level of pity that glowed in Sawyer’s eyes hit the core of her heart.

  Sawyer pulled open the letter and read aloud the contents.

  “You can run, but you can’t hide, my pet. I’ve saved the best for last and I’m coming to collect. See you soon, Brant.”

  “Where did you get this?” He asked.

  Everything around her slowed and her eyes fixated on a spot on the floor. Her breathing came hard and rough as the taste of her tears flooded her mouth. She stumbled backwards and made towards the head of the couch to sit. Her legs trembled and sweat had begun to drip down the back of her neck.

  He was here. He was planning to kill her. What did he mean by saving her for last? What was happening to the others who put the bastard away? Surely, he didn’t mean… Lexi’s shaky hand flew to her mouth as she gasped.

  “No…” And then all the air left her lungs and all she could see was black engulfing the corners of her vision. Her body felt light and her energy faded. She felt her body slump and she had no control as she tumbled. But rather than hitting the hard floor, she was wrapped in strong secure arms.

  “Shit!” Sawyer mumbled, as he pulled her into his arms and carried her bridal style up the stairs. Lexi’s head rested on his chest and she concentrated on the gentle beat of his heart and it calmed her. He kicked open the bedroom door and gently laid her on the bed before he sat alongside her.

  “Lexi,” he said, his voice soft and concerned. Lexi looked up and saw the lines of fear etched across his handsome features. He was worried about her. He gently grazed her cheek with the back of his knuckles, leaving a path of fire in their wake. She closed her eyes as she embraced his touch with a sigh.

  “Stay with me,” she asked, “please, Sawyer. I can’t be alone right now and I’ll feel safer with you here.”

  “You would need a tractor to haul me out of here right now, Lexi. I’m going to call those dumb asses who lost you at the bar and get them to secure the perimeter. Are you okay? I should call Jordan and get her to check you out,” he said, as he stood and paced the front of the bed.

  Lexi sat up on the bed and took a deep breath to ground herself, but the shaking in her hands still radiated through her body.

  “I’m fine Sawyer,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. He turned and caught her eye and the anger that flared in his emerald eyes stirred a fire deep inside her.

  “You are not fine, Lexi!” he bellowed as he stalked towards her, his strong hands rested on his hips and his “Sheriff’s face” switched up to high gear. “Those idiots couldn’t even keep you safe for one night!” He raked his fingers through his light brown locks and she wondered if it was as soft as she imagined and how it would feel to run her fingers through it.

  “Sawyer…” she tried to interrupt, but he was fired up and ready to go.

  “No Lexi, I know you hate me, but I don’t care. I’m going to be stuck to your side until this psycho is back behind bars where he belongs, you hear me?”

  He thought she hated him. She’d been confused about her feelings for the scowling man standing in front of her, but she never hated him. Not really… She may have said that a time or two, but she knew the truth. She loved everything about him and she never stopped. When she first saw him in the Sheriff’s office wrapped around some dingbat, she was jealous. She didn’t want him to see through the mask she had prepared, so she resorted to the ice queen facade.

  She rose from the bed and walked towards him until she could see the rapid rising of his chest with his breath. They stood there, an inch apart as their eyes bored into each other and Lexi felt a part of her soul get lost in the emotion in his eyes. She raised her hand to subtly caress his hard, strong jaw that was covered in stubble. His eyes closed on contact and he leaned into her hand.

  “I’ve never hated you, Sawyer,” she confessed in a soft voice.

  At that moment, she knew it to be true and hearing it come from her lips only solidified the feelings in her heart. As much as Sawyer hurt her a decade ago, she could no longer hold him prisoner. She could no longer live her life without the risk of losing her heart again. She saw for the first time, that a heart that’s been broken, was a heart that loved and been loved.

  “Lexi…” he started with an exasperated breath and she already knew he was going to argue with her. But she wouldn’t allow it. She moved her fingers to cover his mouth and when she moved them away allowed her thumb to slowly graze his full bottom lip.

  “Don’t…” she plead, as her eyes zeroed in on his lips.

  She knew when she was seventeen that Sawyer McGuire was the one who could break her heart. She knew it the moment she laid eyes on him. The night of the accident her life had been shattered, but she found the strength to move forward. To relearn all the things she’d already managed. Of all the things she needed to teach herself again, loving Sawyer was never one of them. Despite the hurt and the betrayal, she always loved him and he always held a piece of her with him.

  She closed the gap between them and raised on her toes as she eased her lips onto his in a sweet tentative kiss. When she slowly pulled back she expected to see him ready to walk away or with pity tossed across his strong masculine features. Ins
tead, she saw desire, heat and a raw passion grow as he contemplated his next step.

  She stepped back and out of his embrace as she realized his hesitation. Now was not the time to rekindle whatever happened between them. He could never give her what she wanted. A house. A marriage. Kids and a dog. He was the perpetual playboy of Silverton and she had a scarred body and a wounded heart.

  She felt the rising of heat in her cheeks as her embarrassment became clear.

  “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” she whispered.

  She had no time to react as Sawyer grasped her elbow and turned her towards him to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. She melted into the feel of his hard body pushed against her as his calloused hands dug into her waist, keeping her firmly where he wanted her.

  The kiss intensified as her hands floated to wrap around his neck and she nipped at his bottom lip. With a growl, he gripped her tighter to him and opened his mouth to her tongue. She moaned in delight as their tongues danced together in a perfect storm of sexuality and angst. She wanted him in every way humanly possible. Sawyer pulled back and rested his forehead on hers as they panted.