The Heart the Cowboy Broke

by M J Andrews

  “No, ma’am…”

  Lexi moved forward and hugged the boy with a smile, “I’m sure if you’re learning from Finn that you’ll turn out to be a fine man. Well-deserving of the name McGuire.”

  She mussed up his hair before she went to the barn door to check if Sawyer had left the farm yet. His squad car was gone and she breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Something troubling ya, Lex?” Finn asked, startling her. She jumped at the sound of his voice. Turning she realized that Finn had followed her to the barn door.

  “No, just checking on something,” she said with ease.

  “What’s going on, sugar? I know you better than you know yourself remember. So I can tell when something is bothering you,” he challenged. And of course, he was right. Finn was one of her best friends when he was around. Her mother always thought that they would make a good couple and tried to put them together as much as possible. But there had never been a connection with Finn in that way. There was no spark. No desire. No passion.

  Their relationship bloomed into a great friendship and one that helped her through her heartbreak and helped Finn through the loss of both his parents.

  She let out a big sigh, “Yeah a lot is bothering me. So much that I don’t know where to even start. Everything seems out of my control and I feel like I am swimming upstream with no end in sight.”

  “Does this have something to do with my brother or with the raging serial killer?”

  Lexi let out a sad laugh as the ridiculousness of that sentence. “You know if you had told me two months ago that I would be living on this ranch, in some sort of a relationship with Sawyer McGuire and had a serial killer on the hunt for me, I would have told you that you were crazy,” she acknowledged.

  “I can see that. How about we go get some breakfast? Dolly still has the best apple pie and I know you love something sweet in the morning,” he said. She didn’t need to be persuaded when it came to Dolly’s apple pie. The woman sure knew how to cook and Lexi would pay to see her and Miss Martha in a cook-off. It would be like Martha Stewart and Gordon Ramsey duking it out in the kitchen.

  “Sure, I could use some time away from this place, honestly,” he confessed.

  Finn smiled before he turned and told Jack to watch Leo while he took Lexi out for something to eat. Of course, Jack had a mile-high list of things he wanted to be ordered for himself. They walked toward Finn’s truck and when Lexi saw it, she stopped dead in her tracks.

  Of course, Finn couldn’t just get a regular truck. Nope… He had to have it cranked up and decked out with a bunch of crap. Sawyer would say it was classic overcompensation and would hint that he had a small dick. Finn would easily pink Sawyer to the ground until he called mercy and that would be the end of it.

  “How the hell do you supposed my ass is getting up in that? I need a God damn ladder!” she barked.

  Finn chuckled and he moved to the passenger side door, “I’ll give ya a boost, Lex.”

  “You’re gonna have to. Jesus, I can’t imagine you’d ever get a girl home in that thing. If she slipped trying to get in she would fall a good twenty feet,” she poked.

  She was being sarcastic and he knew it. She also knew that Finn had no problems getting female company and that any woman in the county would climb Everest just for a roll in the hay with him. His little truck was no match for a determined horny woman.

  Once Lexi was situated in the truck, they began the drive into town. Silverton wasn’t a large place, but it was big enough that someone could get lost in a crowd. Locals knew everything there was to know about the other and if they didn’t know, they made it up. Gossip was the biggest trigger for relationship deterioration.

  They pulled into Dolly’s Dinner and took a booth by the window. The bright red booths with the black and white checkered floor reminded her of her youth. Countless milkshakes and plates of pie were shared there. She’d spent a lot of time remembering her past, especially after Valerie’s death. She regretted not talking to her that day in the bakery. She should’ve mended the bridge and reconnected with her. But her pride prevented her from doing that and now Valerie was gone and she would never hear what she needed to say.

  “So, what’s bothering you?” Finn asked, ripping her out of her haze of memories.

  A young girl with bright pink hair trotted over to the table. She had a piercing in her eyebrow, nose and lip. If the girl had any more holes in her face, Lexi could use her as a pasta strainer. She appeared to have no desire for her job and would probably have a better time watching paint dry.

  “What can I getcha?” she asked.

  “Two apple pies and chocolate milkshakes and we’ll also have this to go,” Finn replied, gesturing for her to take the note where Jack had written down his grocery list.

  “Sure thing,”

  Once she was gone to take care of the next table, well, maybe “take care” wasn’t the right adjective. But once she left, Finn’s attention shifted fully on her. He just stared at her and he knew it made her squirm. She hated when people stared her down and Finn had mastered the stare by eighth grade.

  “So, two problems,” she started.

  “I assume one is the serial killer and the other is my dumbass brother,” he answered.

  “Correct. Now, the serial killer I can figure out. I know what he wants and what he will keep doing if he doesn’t get it or get caught,” she paused and Finn nodded for her to continue. “But Sawyer, I have no idea what I’m doing. I think I may have fucked it all up, Finn.”

  The punk waitress came back with their orders and quickly flew away. Finn took a bite of the pie and groaned. It was a common occurrence for people to make noise when they tasted Dolly’s cooking.

  “What did you do to fuck up? Honestly, I had money on Sawyer fucking it up before you.”

  Lexi put her face in her palms and groaned. She hated that she was second-guessing her feelings. She was always the one who knew what she was doing and had planned out her life in advance. Since Nana threw a wrench into her plans two months ago, she’d been feeling out of control.

  “I told him I loved him and he said nothing,” she confessed.

  Finn narrowed his eyes and his brows pinched together. He looked constipated, which meant he was working out something in his head.

  “He never said it back?”

  “Nope,” she said, pulling the fork from her mouth as she talked.

  “Well, fuck, darling that's about him, not about you,” he said reaching over to grasp her hand as a sign of comfort. “not to mention, if he doesn’t know it he is a dumbass. But that boy has been in love with you since Kindergarten. Mama even said so.”

  “We’ve changed a lot since preschool Finn. We have lived and there have been complications. Jesus, I don’t even know how long I’ll be around,” she noted.

  Finn pointed his fork as her, “Now, that’s enough of that. This place will always be your home, Lexi. I think you need to talk with Sawyer. Or I can talk to him for you,” he probed.

  “No!” Lexi shouted, drawing the attention of other patrons in the diner.

  “No,” she said softly, “I need to figure this out on my own.”

  The bell above Dolly’s door rung and in walked a man in a suit and aviator sunglasses. She could spot a FED anywhere and that man was a walking talking recruitment ad. He looked around briefly before his eyes landed on her.

  “I think we have company,” she told Finn, as the man started walking toward them.

  “Miss Scott?” he asked, as he took off his aviators.

  “Yes, and you are?” Lexi countered.

  “Agent Phillips from the FBI. I’m sorry we are a bit behind, but we are here now,” Phillips offered.

  “I’d like to take your statement for the FBI file and was wondering if you would be free to do that with me?”

  “Sure,” she looked at Finn and he waved her off after he checked the agent’s credentials.

  “Don’t worry about me. You go on with Agent Phil
lips and I’ll let lover boy know where you are,” Finn said.

  Lexi pressed a kiss to his cheek before grabbing her purse and exiting Dolly’s with Agent Phillips. She jumped into his black SUV with tinted windows. The doors locked automatically as he began to drive, but she realized that she wasn’t headed back to the farmhouse. They were headed out of the city.

  “Agent Phillips, the ranch house is back there,” she said, as they passed the turnoff for her home.

  “I know,” Phillips replied, “we’re not going there. I have someone who desperately wants to meet you, Miss Scott.”

  Lexi’s pulse jumped instantly and her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. She made to unlock the door only to find that Phillips had disengaged the locks. She was trapped and no one would look for her for hours as they’d think she was safe with an agent.

  The next thing that happened, happened quickly. Phillips pulled a syringe from the console, put the cover in his mouth to get the needle out.

  “What the fuck is that!?” she bellowed, but not before he jabbed her in the thigh with the unknown substance.

  “I’m just tired of hearing you talk,” he said. And this was the last thing she heard before everything went black and the silence overwhelmed her.

  Chapter 20

  Sawyer

  He was an idiot.

  If his father could talk to him now, he would agree.

  He knew how he felt about Lexi. Jesus, he’d always known that he loved her. From the first time she pushed Bobby James on the playground in Kindergarten, he knew she was the one for him. It explained why he never felt the urge to settle down with anyone before. He’d been waiting for Lexi.

  He. Was. An. Idiot.

  Sawyer banged his head on his steering wheel once he parked in front of the Sheriff’s office. He went through his conversation with Lexi over and over in his head. He should have just told her he felt the same way, but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth. Sawyer wanted to tell her more than anything else, but he questioned whether her feelings were real. All the hype about a potential serial killer and needing to stay on the ranch was off the charts.

  If Lexi was faced with staying in Silverton with him or returning to her fancy life in New York, what would she choose? He was playing it safe. He knew she could leave at any time without a second glance. She’d done it before and it broke his heart into a million pieces. He wasn’t sure he could put his heart of the line if she wasn’t as committed as he was. One thing was clear to him, they needed to have a serious conversation about where the relationship was and where it was going.

  Sawyer heard a gentle rap on the driver side window of his patrol car. He jumped out of his daze and turned to look at Parker. He really would rather stay in bed all day with Lexi, talking out the future. But, he was needed. Sawyer took a deep breath and opened his door, exiting to greet Parker.

  “Morning Deputy,” he greeted.

  “Morning Sheriff,” Parker replied as he turned to follow behind Sawyer.

  “How was everything overnight?” Sawyer questioned. He made a point to check in on his Deputies and he didn’t expect them to do anything he wouldn’t do himself.

  “Everything was quiet from what Rogers reported,” Parker answered.

  Sawyer entered the blissfully air-conditioned building, greeting the receptionist and other staff as he made his way back to his office. He got the full report from Parker and got busy doing paperwork and a conference call with the Mayor. Chase wasn’t his favourite person since he left his sister heartbroken and jaded, but he was one hell of a mayor and he was keeping a close eye on the issue of Brant.

  He was about to take a lunch break when a knock came on his door. He told whoever to enter and in walked his brother, Finn and his best friend, Brett. Both took the seats in front of his desk with serious expressions shadowing their faces. Sawyer’s radar immediately went on high alert.

  “Hey, what are you guys doing here?” he asked surprised.

  Finn crossed his arms over his very large and abnormal chest before tossing a fierce scowl his way.

  “You’re a jackass,” he mumbled.

  “You’re gonna need to narrow it down a bit for me,” Sawyer admitted, putting his head in his hands with a sigh. He could think of several reasons he was a jackass and the list was growing exponentially.

  “I believe what my beefed up friend here is trying to say is…” Brett said calmly.

  “You’re a class A jackass,” Finn finished. Brett tossed his head back and prayed to someone for patience.

  “Okay,” Sawyer sighed, “me being a jackass seems to be a well-established fact. But, can you tell me why I am one today?”

  “Do you love Lexi?” Finn barked out the question. The question caught Sawyer off guard. Why the fuck would his brother be asking whether he loved Lexi? Sawyer’s jaw dropped in shock.

  “How is my relationship with Lexi any of your business?” Sawyer countered, his fists clenched at his side. He’d often felt jealous of the relationship Finn had with Lexi. Even after the accident, Lexi kept in touch with Finn and their parents always commented on how great of a couple they would be. Finn’s face turned a deep shade of red and Sawyer could tell that he was trying hard to keep his temper in check. Finn never did have much patience when it came to Sawyer. Sawyer thought it was his job growing up to torment him. In fairness, Remi tormented him and he felt it was his right as the older brother to pass it along. He was starting to think that maybe he should’ve been nicer to the pissed off brute of a man sitting in his office.

  “Anything that has to do with Lexi is my business, Sawyer,” Finn gritted from between clenched teeth.

  Sawyer’s blood started to boil and his anger unleashed. Why was his brother so fucking interested in his relationship with Lexi? Sawyer’s voice raised and he pushed back his office chair causing the scrapes to echo through the office.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” he bellowed. Finn stood to face Sawyer who was essentially foaming at the mouth.

  “Fellas, fellas, can’t we just keep the macho bullshit at the door for a second please?” Brett retorted while wiggling himself in between the two brothers.

  “No! I want to know why my brother is asking about my girlfriend. Why Finn? Do you love Lexi? Is that it?” Sawyer yelled and he felt the vein in his forehead throb. His heartfelt as though it was going to bust out of his chest. He didn’t want to kick his brother’s ass. But he would.

  “Of course I love Lexi! She’s my best friend!” Finn screamed, “And I’m tired of picking up the pieces after you’ve blown up her heart again.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Sawyer asked exasperated with the conversation.

  “You!” Finn pointed his stupid finger in his chest forcefully, “Do you love her? It’s a pretty simple question, Sawyer!”

  Brett sat back in his chair and gave up hope that he could calm down the situation. It wasn’t his first time mediating conflict between Sawyer and his siblings. If he could deal with Sara throwing down in the grocery store, then he could master the McGuires.

  Sawyer ran his hands through his hair and pulled on the ends in frustration. He paced the small space behind his desk.

  “OF COURSE I LOVE HER!” he screamed, certain the whole office had stopped what they were doing to listen to their not so quiet conversation.

  “THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL HER THAT?” Finn yelled back.

  Now he understood. Finn was privy to his fuck up from that morning. He and Lexi were close and sure, Sawyer had been jealous of their relationship, but Finn has always treated her like the third sister they never had. Feeling defeated, he tossed his head back and sighed before he slumped back in his chair.

  “I don’t know…” he muttered.

  Finn must have recognized that Sawyer had lost his will to fight with him anymore because he came around his desk and sat on the corner. Finn clasped his shoulder as Sawyer ran his fingers over his brow.

  “Brother, I love you and
I love her. The two of you together is amazing,” he said gently. “When I got home, I saw how Aubrey and Remi look at each other and the change in him is so bone-deep its fucking nerve-racking. The man is in love and he is walking on god damn sunshine.”

  Sawyer let out a small chuckle, “You weren’t here when they hated each other. I got in between far too many weird eye fucking sessions.”

  “I bet. But I see how you look at Lexi and how she looks at you. And Sawyer, it’s the same way that stupid asshat looks at Aubrey. You need to own it and she needs to know,” Finn continued.

  “I know, Jesus, I know that. But… Fuck, what if she wakes up one day and decides she wants to go back to her fancy life back in New York? What if I’m not enough for her?” Sawyer plopped his head on the desk, “Fuck I sound like a woman.”