by Philip Blood
"Wow, you mean if the Bondsman doesn't like the NexLord anymore..."
"He dies," Mara said quietly.
"I don't think Gandarel will trust any of us with his life!" Katek noted.
"He will trust some of you, or he will trust someone else, but Bond he must if he would use the power of the Nexus, and he must do that or we will all perish," Mara noted in a serious voice.
Her students paused quietly, as they digested all of this information. Mara waited patiently.
"When must Gandarel go to this 'Chamber'?" Dono asked.
"Soon, Dono, though I don't know the exact time, but it won't be long. There are certain, 'events' that will take place, and then I will know. One of them has passed, and Gandarel did not go, so now we are on a new path of destiny," Mara noted.
"These 'Dark Prophecies' you spoke of," Aerin noted.
"Yes, they are a set of divinations that I have worked years to keep from happening, but there is no help for it now. Much that I thought would come to pass, will not, and much that I feared may come true. It seems that we will return to the dark time, once again," she added at the end, more quietly.
"How do you know these prophecies are true?" Aerin asked.
"The return of the Risen is one such example of the Dark Prophecies coming true. I didn't see its exact form from the words, but now it is clear. Prophecy is often like that, you know what you think it means, but it may come true in unforeseen ways."
"You said, after the battle, that we would not like what you will teach us, I think I understand that now," Lor noted.
"No Lor, you do not. For the next thing, I must teach you all is how to face your fears. You see, during that battle you all feared the coming of the Risen, but what you don't realize is that your fear made it stronger. The Dreadbeast Insanity exudes fear, which causes even greater fear in people around it. It eats the fear emanating from its victims and that makes it constantly stronger. The way to diminish its power is to cut Insanity off from fear so that it gives off power with no return. That is why I had Yearl send you away from its presence. I had no idea we would be facing one of the Dreadbeasts of old, and you have not been properly prepared to handle your fear."
"I'm sorry, Mara, I could hardly breathe. I don't think I could ever stand up to that thing without fear," Aerin noted.
"You can, Aerin, and I can teach you how, but it won't be pleasant, and it won't be easy. To teach you not to fear I must take you to the heart of fear."
They didn't like the sound of that.
Lor spoke up bravely. "You can try, Mara, but I'm not afraid of anything."
"Except that beast," Aerin noted.
"I can handle it," Lor stated with her chin up.
Katek scoffed, "Sure you can."
Mara stopped their argument. "Tomorrow we start your new training. Please know that I wouldn't do this to you if I could help it in any way. Be brave, and remember, in the end, you will be stronger for having come through the fire of the forge."
"I can tell you right now, I'm not looking forward to this," Dono noted.
Mara stood. "Now, since I missed Gandarel coming to me, I will go to him."
Aerin looked worried. "But, Mara, shouldn't you rest first?"
Mara did indeed look tired, but she just gave him a small smile. "There is no time for rest, Aerin, events outpace us, and I have no time left for being old."
"I will escort you there," he offered.
Mara shook her head, "No, this I must do alone, but my thanks for your concern. Rest, Aerin, tomorrow will be a worse day than today." She leaned heavily on her cane and headed for the gate.
Mara was admitted into the seat, after some discussion, and seated in a hallway while she waited to speak with Gandarel. After a long time had passed, there was finally a sound in the hallway, and Mara looked up from her seat. Gandarel approached, with the priest Hork and chairman of the council, Niler Corbin, at his heels.
"Mara," Gandarel said in greeting. "It is good to see you well. I heard of your disappearance after the battle at the wall and was worried."
Behind him, Hork glared daggers at Mara.
"I am fine, though Tocor took a wound."
Gandarel looked down from Mara's strong gaze. "You were right about the Togroths leaving, it is so strange."
Mara nodded her head slightly in acknowledgment of his words. "May I have some time alone to speak with you Gandarel?"
Niler spoke before Gandarel could answer. "Anything you have to say to Gandarel can be said in front of us. There will be no secrets here between us."
Mara nodded and said, "As you wish. Gandarel, there is more you need to know before you can achieve your heritage."
"He has all the teachers he needs to take the Seat of Stone," Niler stated.
Mara's eyes never left Gandarel's, "Your destiny lies in greater things than just the Seat, Gandarel. You know in your heart I am correct. You know of what I speak."
"How did we ever let this insane woman have time with the heir, so she could poison the boy's mind?" Hork demanded of Niler.
"I saved his life, though you seem to have conveniently forgotten that," Mara noted.
"Are you done with Gandarel?" Niler asked Mara in disgust.
Mara gave Niler, and his bushy eyebrows, a frank stare. "Gandarel and I will never be 'done' with each other. You are a minor word, a small footnote in his story, be careful, lest you are erased completely."
Niler's voice rose indignantly, "You DARE to threaten me?"
"Threaten? If I wished you harm you would already be dead."
Niler nearly foamed at the mouth in his anger. "I can have your head struck from your body for such insolence!"
Mara merely raised an eyebrow at him, seemingly unconcerned by his threats.
"All of you, calm down," Enolive said. The thin councilman had come up from the adjoining hallway. "This serves no purpose. Gandarel, say goodbye to your friend, it is time for us to look over your troops."
"Mara, I... we'll talk later, all right?"
"Of course, Gandarel, be well, and remember what I have taught you. The time comes when everything will change. Events are approaching the time where all is confusion, and choices made will color the future paths."
Niler took Gandarel by the arm and led the unhappy boy away. Enolive went with them.
Hork stared at Mara as she walked down the hallway leaning on her cane.
"Your time has passed woman. It is a new age where humans will take ownership of this world, and the lesser races will pay homage. Go back to your tea leaves and chicken bones; your little moment of fame is over."
Mara paused with her back to Hork for a moment and chuckled, but when she turned there was a look on her face that had not been seen for some time. "Little man, you see so little of the world from the tiny walls of your mind. I will give you something to think about in your petty little dreams. I'll let you see clearly for a moment, and perhaps you will learn."
She turned to face him and lifted her cane to hold it above her with both hands.
Hork’s eyes grew until they nearly bugged from his eye sockets.
Mara smiled, returned her cane to the ground and walked away.
The following morning, Mara gathered her remaining students in the chamber they used as a classroom.
"Today you will learn about fear and how to handle it. And each day that passes you will learn to handle deeper fear. The first step in stopping fear lies in understanding that which causes it. Fear is a strong emotional state of mind. Some fears have been taught to you, and some are instinctual, like fearing height. But regardless of the origin, once started inside your brain, fear feeds on itself and grows like a cancer. Much of fear is based on the knowledge of the future, a future where you anticipate your own pain, loss, failure, embarrassment or death. Any sensation that you dislike, but anticipate experiencing, can cause fear. You can even experience fear because you believe some bad thing is about to happen to someone or something you care about. Fear is no
t about what has happened, but about what you think will happen.
"Because fear is about something that has not yet happened, it is really about nothing." She paused in her speech for a moment, then said: "Dono, stand up and come here."
Dono looked extremely worried as he started to his feet.
"Stop, you fear what I am about to do, why? Have I threatened you in any way? If I embarrass you will you be a worse person? If I give you pain will you not get over it? Would it not be better to ask what is intended rather than fear what you don't know? Sit down, Dono."
He looked relieved and took his seat again.
"Aerin, stand up and come here."
He did as his teacher said and came to the front of the room.
"Are you afraid of me, Aerin?” she asked when he arrived.
"No, Mara, you will not hurt me, you are my friend."
Mara smiled. "I will not hurt you, Aerin," she said and pulled out a thin dagger from her sleeve.
Aerin's eyes grew slightly, but he remained calm.
"Good, you have reined in your fear. Who are you, Aerin?"
The strange question took Aerin's attention from the dagger.
"What?"
"Who is Aerin? Until you can answer that question, until you know what you are, in all ways, fear will have a hold on you."
"I don't understand, Mara."
"If I cut off your hand, who will you be?"
"I... you're going to cut off my hand?" Aerin asked, his eyes going back to the dagger.
Mara's eyes held compassion for her young friend. "What happened to trusting me?"
"Oh, I do, Mara."
"Answer my question then."
Aerin thought a moment and then answered. "I will still be myself."
"Excellent, and after I mutilate every part of your body, who will you be?"
"Aerin."
Mara nodded in agreement as she moved across the room. "So if it isn't the state of your body that makes you who you are, what is it?"
"The state of your mind?"
Mara took a deep breath and let it out as if in thought. "Is it, or is it your personality? Your state of mind can change from moment to moment, but Aerin is a set of beliefs, habits, likes and dislikes. Aerin is the set of things that makes up his personality, do you agree?"
"Yes, that sounds right to me," Aerin said.
Mara moved back near him again, tapping the dagger into her other palm. "But fear changes you; it eats down into your mind and causes permanent changes to who you are. People fear pain and embarrassment, but what they should fear is fear itself."
She reversed the knife and handed it to Aerin.
He was puzzled but took the offered blade.
Mara placed her hand flat on the desk.
"Stab me in the hand," she ordered.
"NO!"
"Why not? I am not afraid of the pain."
"I... I can't, Mara."
Mara looked him in the eye. "Are you afraid you will hurt me?"
"Yes!"
"Why? I have asked you to do it. No one will blame you. It won't hurt you, physically."
Aerin felt sweat on his palms. "That's just it, Mara, it will hurt me to hurt you, in here," he said, touching his chest near his heart.
Mara removed her hand from the table. "And the fact that you care about me enough to feel fear for me, when I do not, makes me love you, Aerin, but it is all right to care; there is nothing wrong with that. Fearing because you care is wrong. If I had to physically hurt you to help you, I would do so without fear, and I would feel your pain, but not fear it. Pain is fleeting, pain is transient, and there are more important things in life than to worry about such a small thing as pain. Pain is merely a warning to your brain that a part of us is being damaged. It is just a signal, like words or sound; a way of keeping us informed. It is not something to fear. Emotional pain is much deeper, but fearing it will not make it less, only more."
She paused a moment as she reached out and took the dagger back, before pointing for Aerin to retake his seat, which he did with relief.
Mara looked at her students and said, "Death, do you fear it?"
After a moment, they all nodded.
"You were a little late admitting it, Katek, why?" Mara asked.
"I do not wish to die before I avenge Temmen's death, but other than that, I do not fear death."
Mara smiled for a brief moment. "So why do the rest of you fear death?"
"It's painful to die," Lor noted.
Mara considered her statement. "Is it? What if I give you this vial," Mara took out a small bottle and put it on Lor's desk, "and tell you that drinking it will bring you a bliss you have never felt before in your entire life."
Lor looked at it curiously.
"Taste it and you will be in ecstasy, I tell you this and I do not lie to you, Lor."
Lor picked up the bottle and tried to see inside.
"It will also kill you," Mara noted.
Lor dropped the bottle and it hit the table and broke, she knocked her chair over getting away from the liquid splashed on her desk.
Mara watched but said nothing further for a moment.
"Why would you give me such a thing?" Lor demanded, still checking to see if any of it had splashed on her.
"It must be ingested," Mara explained, "and in a large quantity, so you are in no current danger, but you suddenly feared for your life, didn't you?"
"Yes!" Lor growled. Her heart was still beating strongly from her quick fright.
"Why?"
"I thought that stuff could kill me."
"I did not lie about it being painless; it would be quite the opposite."
Lor was still upset: "That doesn't matter!"
"So you fear death? Not the pain of death?"
"Yes, why don't YOU take it if you are so fearless?" Lor demanded.
"I do not fear death Lor; I just have more things to do before I go. And that is the difference between most people in the world and those who do not fear death. People should have a reason to live, and then do so, but they shouldn't have a fear of death, that is for fools."
"All this is fine, and as I’ve stated, I have a reason to live," Katek noted, "but it isn't going to drive away all the things we fear."
Mara regarded the young gladiator. "No, but before you can learn with your heart you must understand with your head."
"I understand well enough," Katek decided.
"Do you?"
"I do not fear your dagger, whether you or I am the ones stabbed."
"But, Katek, it is not enough not to fear, you must withstand it from without and give back nothing."
"And how am I to do that?"
"Know thy enemy. You must feel fear and overcome it, and then you must bath in it and let it drip from you like droplets of water. Until you can live and breathe it, you will drown in it and create even more for the Dreadmaster. But that is enough for you all to think about today, tomorrow we will explore instinctual fear."
For the next week, they spent each morning learning about fear and how to control it. Many of the lessons were hard, and Mara never gave an inch when challenged, she knew what was at stake. On the sixth day, the session ended on a new note.
Mara looked over her students for a few moments, as if taking their measure. "Tonight I will take each of you to a place I know; it is an evil place, where the Dreadmaster's power is strong. It is one of the Forbidden Zones. There you will feel fear, but you must not give in to that fear. If you do, if you allow your fear to give the place power, it will manifest, and I do not know if you will survive."
There was nervous laughter, started by Lor.
"You think I overstate this, but I do not. Let me tell you of this place. There was a woman and her name was Jezebeth. Her name was pretty and so, once, was she. Jezebeth married a man named Jord, and he was a cooper. Jord liked to drink, and he grew violent when he was drunk. They had a young son, named Paoul, who was six years old. Jord would go out drinking with his fri
ends, and then he would come home. Each time he came home drunk he would take a strap to his wife, and sometimes to his child. His temper grew worse and the beatings became more frequent. Each time he was late, Jezebeth would dread his return for she feared she would be beaten, and worse, feared for her son. Her friends told her to run away, but she knew he would find her and kill her if she did. But that wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst part was the sound of his footsteps, coming up a tall wooden stairway that went up to their second story apartment. Each stair would creak as he ascended to the next, and the sound of each step was a harbinger of pain. She could have handled the pain of the blows on her own body, but the scars he left on her soul when he beat their little boy, was more than she could handle."
"So he finally killed them, is that it?" Katek demanded.
"Oh no, Katek, he didn't kill them. The pain and fear went on and on, day after day, until... she went insane. She took a knife and she went to her son's bed and held him."
Mara took out her knife again as a prop and then leaned over the table as if she were looking down on Paoul's bed herself.
"Then, when she heard the first dreaded creak of the stair, as her drunken husband came up, she smiled and then slit her son's throat. With her son's blood on her hands, she turned and went to the door, where she stabbed Jord in the throat as he came through the door."
"Good!" Lor declared.
"But she didn't succeed. Her blow only wounded him severely, and he fell down those stairs. Jezebeth fell to her knees and stared at the blood on her hands. She wanted to kill herself, now that she had put her son where he could be safe from the pain, but then she heard it, the sound of those hated stairs creaking. Jord wasn't dead, and he was coming for her again. Terror shot through her, and she crawled to her dead son's bed and cowered until Jord arrived, bleeding from the neck, he crawled into the room, and beat her to death with his fists, before he eventually died from loss of blood."
"So?" Katek stated, "There are sad stories a plenty around this city."
"The power of fear can build up, and if this continues over a long time, the fear becomes very powerful indeed. There is fear at Jezebeth's house, and hate, it is a marked place, where people do not go lest the emotion staining the ground should cause other crimes. They have considered burning it to the ground, or having a church cleanse it, but until such time as one or the other happens, it is closed. They call them the Forbidden Zones. You've seen markers for such places, have you not?"
