by Philip Blood
Lor looked sheepishly at Dono and Aerin.
"Perhaps you have even been inside a few, on a dare or something, but this one, this one is powerful; it carries a weight of fear close to the Dreadmaster's black heart. It could kill someone from fear alone; I've seen it happen. Tonight each of you will go into Jord's house, alone. I will not be with you, your friends will not be with you, but Jord and Jezebeth will. Tonight you must learn to conquer your fear, lest you give Jord the power to beat you like he beat Jezebeth, and if you fear too much, even kill you, as he killed his wife."
"You wouldn't put us in that much danger," Dono said into the dead silence of the room.
"I must," Mara stated, "for if you face the power of the Dreadmaster with fear, you will certainly die, and your fear may well kill others. Your failure could cost the freedom of this world."
"We're just kids," Dono stated, in a half whisper.
"Yes, and the fate of the world will rest partly in your hands. So it is written in the Prophecies of Gold, and in the Dark Prophecies." She paused, and her students were silent. "Katek, you will have the honor of going first tonight. Until that time I want you all to go to your individual rooms. Yearl will come for you when it is your turn. Think about what I have said, come to face your fear, and understand that it is nothing, only you give it power, and only you let it grow. Even when the outside forces of other people's fear reaches for your heart, you can let it pass through, as if it was less than air. Fear has no power over those who will not feed it. Remember, fear is nothing. You all have strong minds and I believe you are ready to face this test."
Katek put on a good front, but sitting alone in his room and thinking about what he would face when he was called nearly had him unnerved. When Yearl knocked on his door he was startled out of deep reflection.
Mara was not present when Katek opened the door. The willowman's eyes were dark brown and showed little of his thoughts. Silently, Yearl led Katek through the dark streets to a rundown section on the eastern side of the city. Here the street cobblestones were rough and mismatched. Streets were narrower and followed thin canals of still muck. They crossed a bridge and walked along a dank waterway. Buildings in this area were old two-storied structures, made of black rotting wood. At last, Yearl brought him to a thin wooden stairway, that climbed up to a thick door above.
"Climb the stairs and go inside. Find the bed in the far room and sit down for at least five minutes. If you can last that long you will have conquered your fear," Yearl explained.
Katek looked up the old, uneven stairs, in consternation.
"Do you think the stairs are good enough to..." Katek trailed off as he realized he was speaking to himself, the willowman was gone. The young man looked behind him into the dark thin path and saw no sign of Yearl.
Katek took a deep breath and let it out, then took hold of the rickety stairway railing and started toward the top.
As his weight came down on the first stair it creaked loudly.
Katek felt, more than heard, movement in the room above him, and paused as he tried to see something through the cracks of the door above. He noticed the yellow 'X' painted on the door. It was a clear warning sign to anyone approaching that here was a place stained with evil, a Forbidden Zone. It was against the law to enter a place thus marked without proper approval, but Katek took another breath and climbed the second step.
It too creaked, and he heard a muffled giggle come from somewhere nearby. Again there was motion from above, that he felt as a slight swaying of the stairs. He thought he caught a flash of movement through the cracks around the door above him.
Katek paused and considered the fear he was starting to feel; it had crept into his lungs and heart and made them labor. There was a taste of salt and acid in his mouth and a cold sweat on his brow. He cursed and grabbed the reins of his fear, telling himself to remember what Mara had told him; only he could give fear power over his body.
Steady again, Katek climbed the stairs, each one causing a creak and a reciprocal furtive movement from above. He had no weapons, no armor, just himself and his thin clothes. He wished he had at least brought a knife, but Yearl had told him no weapons would be needed.
As he reached the top of the stairs, the feeling of anxiety increased, and he was almost in a blind panic. He stilled his heart by imagining the feeling as water flowing around and past him, as Mara had described. It helped to visualize the emotion.
He opened the door. Inside it was dark, only moonlight from the outside bled in across the rough wood floor. Katek steeled his emotions and stepped into the room. It was like plunging into cold water on a hot day. Fear squeezed his heart, like a hand inside his chest. He felt waves of terror, followed by savage thoughts of hatred for a man he did not know.
The door slammed shut on its own and startled Katek. The boy spun around in a crouch. Below he heard the sound of footsteps on the old stairs, step by slow step. The terror increased and he ran to the bedroom through the dark. He stopped when he reached the dark closed door ahead of him.
What am I doing? He thought, reaching for that calm center that he had achieved earlier, but it was hard. His heart beat in loud thumping shudders in his chest, and behind him, he heard the footsteps nearing the top of the stairs.
His body shook with the effort of not running, and he heard a woman's voice behind him speaking in a soft, insane, whisper: "‘Tis Jord, and he's come for you. Kill him, kill him as he comes in, or he'll kill us all! Save my boy!"
Katek looked around for a weapon and found a broken chair leg in the corner of the room. He picked it up in his hand like a club.
"I hate him, hate him! Kill him before he gets you!” she urged him in her insane voice.
Katek didn't dare turn to see if Jezebeth was behind him, he was too scared.
Mara's words returned to his fear-clouded mind, and Katek paused in his advance toward the door. He fought a battle within and won. He finally managed to detach himself from his fear and look upon it. He knew that he was creating the voice out of the fear in the room and giving it a reality. With a conscious effort, Katek managed to stop and drop the chair leg.
He turned and faced the dark room and went to the door. It felt like his mind watched his body from outside. The more he stayed detached, the easier it became. Jezebeth's voice didn't speak and he didn't see her. He reached the door and took hold of the handle, but here his resolve faltered; he didn't know what he would see on the other side. His imagination raced, and the dead decaying bodies of the two adults and one child came to his mind. Then he saw them standing, waiting just on the other side of the door for him to open it and let them out, waiting, hungrily.
Behind him, Jezebeth whispered. "Come to join us, Katek? I've been waiting for a friend to come and play with my Paoul. Open the door and come in, I'll fix it so you can sleep with us, forever, just as I fixed Paoul."
From the direction of the front door, he heard the handle start to turn and then Jord's deep, drink-laden voice called out. "Who you got in there, Jeze? You dirty woman, I'll kill you both!"
Katek stopped opening the bedroom door and looked across the dark main room to the front door. The handle really was moving; he could see it in the moonlight seeping through the joints from outside.
The frightened boy once again swallowed his rapidly beating heart and faced down the fear inside to a place where he could contain it. He reached back for that state where he was almost an observer in his own body, and after a moment achieved it. He didn't make the choice to open the door, nor did he wonder at it, he just did it.
The door opened to an empty room.
Behind him, Katek heard the front door opening, and he knew it was Jord come for his wife.
Footsteps approached across the room, and Katek fought to maintain his detached state of calm. He didn't even jump when the voice spoke, though the tone did surprise him.
"You have done well," Mara said softly to his back. "You have managed to open the bedroom door, and stay in contro
l of yourself, even when you heard this door opening and my footsteps approaching. I am pleased by your progress."
Katek swallowed, he wasn't feeling very cocky at the moment. Fear had nearly gotten the best of him. He had been holding onto a razor edge of control, but he had held. Suddenly he knew it would be easier next time, and that thought alone made him stronger.
"Come on, you've disturbed the ghostly memories of Jezebeth enough for one night," Mara decided and led him from the house.
Behind them the house sat silent, waiting for a more malleable victim to feed upon.
Each of Mara's students faced their fears that night in the emotionally haunted rooms of Jezebeth and Jord. Each student had a different experience, all of them terrifying, all of them in the end, beneficial in their learning.
It was hard on them, harder than most young men and women could handle, but Mara knew these kids were special, and they were already trained far beyond their years. She knew they could survive this trial by fear; they had to because she had no time for any other method. It was their first real exercise in controlling powerful fear; it was not their last.
Aerin woke with a start, and his body was covered with sweat. It had been three weeks since they had started their training in controlling fear. This was the fourth night he had experienced nightmares, and this one was bad. He had been back in Jezebeth's house, and the decayed face of Jezebeth, that he had seen leaning down into his during his trial, had returned in his dreams, but this time it turned into Mara's face. She had smiled and said, "I've kept something from you, Aerin." Then she reached and tore away the flesh of her face while laughing at him.
He lay in the dark and applied Mara's teachings to calm his nerves. Soon he was free of the leftover feelings of fear. He analyzed the dream, and noted that he had not been in Jezebeth's house this time; it had actually taken place inside of the abandoned building on Netter Street, where he had seen Mara talking to the crazy man.
Aerin got out of bed and dressed. It was three hours past midnight, but he didn't want to go back to sleep. He decided to face whatever fear it was that haunted his dreams, right now.
Soon he was out on the dark and misty streets of the city. He saw one darkly cloaked man, furtively staying to the shadows. Aerin kept an eye on him, as he went past, but the man only moved away while keeping his face concealed by his dark hood.
Soon, Aerin reached Netter Street and he sought the building where the crazy man was usually found. Aerin saw the place in the stones where they had left the sword and wondered about Mara and her relationship with this strange man. He looked at the dark doorway and started forward. Aerin used his new skills in controlling his fear to keep a calm state. Detached from his instinctual fear of entering this dark and unknown place, Aerin stepped into the gloom.
He let his eyes adjust without moving. At first, he thought he was alone, but then he saw a dark shape in one corner and two eyes watching him.
Aerin waited a moment longer until his eyes adjusted as best they could to the dim light. He moved nearer the man and knelt down to both knees when he drew near.
"I am Aerin," he stated, wondering if the man would answer.
The man moved forward, and Aerin heard metal scraping against stone. He caught the glint of polished metal, and could just make out the shape of a sword in the man's hand. The strange man moved forward in a crouch by scooting on two feet and one hand, his other hand was occupied in holding the sword by the blade. Aerin continued to apply his teaching and managed to hold his position on his knees, as the man drew near with the naked blade in his hand. It was the sword Mara had left out in front, back during the siege.
Aerin was wary, but before he could move, the strange man laid the sword on the floor and slid it over toward Aerin.
The sword stopped after sliding on the rough stone and came to rest between them. Aerin didn't move forward, so the crazy man backed up and then lay down on the stone floor on his side and rolled on his back. It was an obvious gesture to the boy, from that position it would take a lot of effort to get up and reach Aerin quickly.
Aerin crawled forward, slowly approaching the sword. He reached it and took it from the stones, before moving back to his original position. He knelt again and then carefully set the sword down on the floor next to him. "Thank you, but I did not come to retrieve the weapon we loaned you," he said to the strange man.
The man got off his back and sat on his heels, and his head rotated slightly, in a questioning look that somehow reminded Aerin of a dog that was puzzled by something. There was no look of comprehension on the man's face.
"Abuok... bar pul... Tog?" Aerin tried, speaking haltingly in the Togroth's raw tongue.
This time the man's face lifted into a half snarl, but he did not seem to understand.
"I wonder what language you speak, my friend," Aerin muttered, "or if you speak at all."
The man crawled around in a tight circle and rummaged around in a pile of junk in the corner behind him. He came out with one of the food packets that Aerin had seen Mara with at various times.
"No, I don't have any food for you," Aerin noted, "but next time I will bring you some."
The man presented the food pack again and Aerin shook his head in a 'no' gesture, holding up his hands to show them empty.
There was a look of disappointment from the man, and he put the food packet back in the corner.
From behind Aerin, a bony form suddenly launched itself from the shadows toward the naked sword lying on the floor. The surprise movement knocked Aerin aside before he knew what was happening. Aerin saw the crazy man leap in a dive over him and then the sounds of scuffling and a yelp of pain from the dark.
Aerin scrambled back to his feet, just in time to see a dark form half crawling and running out the doorway. The crazy man came out of the dark, dragging the sword by its tip behind him. He left it next to Aerin again and returned to his position in the corner.
"Thank you," Aerin said with true feeling; while concentrating on his attempts to communicate he had been taken completely by surprise.
Aerin realized that his thanks meant nothing to the man, and he tried to think of some way to thank him. He looked at him and saw that he was naked except for filth, and though the night chill was not so biting here inside the abandoned building, it was by no means comfortable. Aerin removed his sweater and placed it before them on the floor. Then he pointed behind him to where the attacker had fled.
Again he got the puzzled look from the man.
Aerin sighed but hoped he would at least appreciate the warmth, even if he didn't understand the thank you.
Aerin picked up the sword and backed away slowly, and the man watched him go.
It was a cold walk back to his rooms, but Aerin didn't notice since he was busy contemplating about how good his life was compared to the poor man in the building.
He was almost home before it occurred to him that the man might have been offering food, instead of inquiring if Aerin had brought any.
Two months after the siege ended, Aerin was back in Jezebeth's house alone. Their teaching, by Mara, had gone on non-stop, and finally, his nightmares had quit bothering him as he learned to control his fears, even during sleep. Mara thought he was ready and asked him to return to Jezebeth's house. Of all of them, Aerin had gone through the worst experience there, and Mara had come to his rescue to find him huddled and shaking in a corner.
Now Aerin stood in the main room and closed his eyes. He could feel the fear about him, permeating everything, but it was all outside him now, and he gave nothing back. After a time, he opened his eyes and went to the child's room. Here is where they had died and here the stain was the strongest.
Aerin entered and there was no vision or sound from the emotional ghosts, the fear was still there, but he was not a part of it.
Aerin was about to turn and leave, safe in the knowledge that he had conquered his fear when a new voice spoke. It was not Jezebeth, or her dead husband, or child, but Aerin h
ad heard this voice in the past.
"You can hide inside yourself from these weak echoes, but you cannot hide from me, Aerin," the whispery voice said.
Aerin's heart skipped a beat when the voice spoke, but his training was strong enough for him to regain control. He did not answer, as he did not wish to recognize the presence and therefore give it power by his belief.
"Cat got your tongue? Or do you fear to speak? Many have thought they could stand up to me, and all have learned they are too weak. Even your Nexlord went to a knee before me, and so will you. But you are strong, young Aerin, and I have need of strength. I will teach you what you are missing, I will teach you not to avoid the power given to those with strong emotion and purpose, but to use it. Your teacher has not told you everything; she has kept the most important things from you. This is her mistake, but I will be honest Aerin, I will never lie to you."
"You are the master of lies," Aerin answered.
"No, I am the champion of truth, for I rip the mantle of lies from mortals by showing them the truth of our world. I will give you a piece of truth that you will not believe, but eventually you will learn that I spoke the truth. Remember this then, young Aerin, for you will know that I told you the truth when your teacher lied, even to herself."
"I don't want to hear this, I don't believe you," Aerin demanded angrily.
"That is the way of most people when it comes to truth, but it cannot be stopped. The truth you should know is that your teacher does my work."
"That is a lie! Mara doesn't work for you!"
"I have been the Dreadmaster and I will live again. I have no need to lie; that is for lesser beings unsure of their destiny."
"I see your game, you attempt to split us, and cause me to fear so you can feed. I do not fear you!"
