Broken Lies

by Roger Williams

  “But it’s easy!”

  “Maybe for you, but my life is not like yours.”

  “That doesn’t matter. It was obviously the mighty hand of God reaching out to rescue you. Who else’s could it have been? And whose voice do you think said, ‘Watch me’?”

  Chase shook his head. He should have known better than to open up to his aunt. Realizing the downward spiral would continue regardless of his answer, he quietly said, “My own.”

  “Your own?” Betty said in disbelief, looking over at Linda for confirmation. With a squint lasting longer than normal, she leaned forward and asked her nephew in a petulant tone that was completely out of character, “Do you think you can save yourself from yourself?”

  “What do you mean by that?” Chase snapped, not really wanting to know her thoughts.

  “Well,” Betty said, as if she alone held the answer, “we don’t have the capacity to save ourselves. That is why Jesus died on the cross. Oh, sure, it happened over two thousand years ago, but he is still the only one who can rescue us from our sins.”

  Chase turned to Linda and whispered, “Would you mind if I went outside for a while? I hate to leave you alone with her, but I simply can’t take this any longer.”

  Linda glanced over at Aunt Betty and whispered back, “Okay, if you have to. But she’s just an old woman telling us what she believes.”

  “Thank you, babe. Have fun!” He kissed her on the cheek, stood up, and declared to his aunt, “I’m sorry. I need to take a walk and get some exercise. We have a long day tomorrow.”

  “Can’t stand the heat?” Betty asked with a wink.

  “Just need some fresh air. I’ll be back.”

  Chase stepped out onto the front porch and sighed wearily. He was happy with his choice to dismiss himself but hoped Linda wouldn’t be mad at him later. She’ll be okay, he thought with a huge exhale. She’s a strong gal.

  Producing a small cigar from his shirt pocket, he lit it and felt better as he strolled through the well-lit neighborhood. He realized again the stubborn tenacity of his aunt, how she used any angle she could find to opine about God and religion. How could that hand have been God’s since he wasn’t even thinking about God? And the voice? It was certainly his own, but what difference would it make if somehow God spoke through him that day? Everything would have played out the same.

  Chase wiped his brow, cleaning his hand on his shorts. He had never considered himself impious in a disrespectful way. He had always believed in God and had felt that sufficient. God certainly couldn’t expect anything more from a person. But could he be pertinacious or even ignorant in not considering a deeper reality? He didn’t know. He preferred ignoring the discussion altogether.

  His thoughts turned to the next day—driving to LAX, flying out to see his brothers, and showing the family a potential new home. Though it had been only a short time since his last visit, he found himself missing his roots—Frank and Allie, Lane and Kathy, and even Murphy in an odd sort of way. He reminded Chase of the old days, which certainly weren’t his best years. But it’s funny, he thought, how memories play upon the emotions, how we can miss even depressing or difficult times after a long separation, almost like an old friend. A person may not want to return to that season of his life but apparently can have a certain fondness for the past.

  His mini-cigar nearly finished, Chase checked his watch. He’d been gone twenty minutes. Probably time to get back. He meandered to the house, continuing to reflect upon upstate New York and the memories, wiping perspiration off of his face at nearly every step.

  “Hey, ladies,” he said cheerfully as he reentered the living room. “Man, it’s hot out there! Are you all done catching up?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued. “Hey, it’s getting pretty late. Linda? You want to get some sleep?”

  “Sure. I need it.”

  Chase bent over to kiss his aunt. “We’ll see you in the morning. By the way, do you have any coffee?”

  “I keep a little bit of instant just in case.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Chase hated instant coffee.

  As they were preparing for bed in the bathroom together, Chase smirked. “Well, tell me, did she convert you?”

  “Hon’, she’s so nice. I think she simply needs people to talk with. I listened to her life story for a while and how she met Ron and then—”

  “But what about the Jesus stuff?”

  “Oh yeah, that too. It wasn’t a big deal. You know what, though? She did make me think about how we’re raising Amy and Ryan.”

  Chase drew back defensively. “What’d she say?”

  “Just that we should seriously consider taking them to church, that there are good morals they can learn, other children to connect with and so on.”

  “You know what? I’m not sure why I came to see my aunt. Maybe because she was there when I needed help all those years ago or maybe since she’s the last connection to my mom and dad. Anyway, I guess I deserve it since I’m the one who brought up my story.”

  “But hon’, I love hearing you share it! Don’t worry so much about what she thinks.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Once they secured their luggage at the Syracuse airport, Chase led the way to Hertz and rented an SUV for the drive to Frank and Allie’s. This visit was greatly anticipated by everyone since, despite repeated attempts and promises to come to see them in California, Frank and Allie had flown out only once, right after Amy’s birth.

  Chase called his brother about ten minutes before arriving and then pointed out a few memorable sights to his family as they entered his old neighborhood. “That over there is the high school we all attended, and just behind it … can you see that old abandoned warehouse back aways? Yeah, when I was little, a few of us neighborhood kids hung out there a lot. Called ourselves a gang,” he added with a chuckle.

  “You were in a gang?” Ryan asked.

  “No,” he said with another laugh. “We just called it that. Even had a name—the Black Widows.” The words jolted him, Linda too. “That’s pretty weird, don’t you think, babe?”

  “Definitely. That was really the name of your club?”

  “Yeah … Hey, and look! That blue house is where I kissed my first girlfriend!”

  “Chase,” Linda scolded him.

  “I’m only joking, kids.”

  Linda shook her head.

  When they finally pulled up to Frank and Allie’s, the family saw the two of them standing in the driveway, waiting. Allie ran over and pressed her face against the window. “Oh my!” she shouted. “Look at these children! They’re beautiful!”

  “Well let us get out the car, Allie!” Chase said with a grin.

  Amy and Ryan tolerated her enthusiasm as she hugged and kissed them. “I’m your Aunt Allie!” she proudly declared. “They look like Macklins all right … And Linda!” she exclaimed, pulling her close. “It’s so nice to see you again! You’re prettier than ever!”

  The brothers shook hands and then gave each other a shoulder embrace. Frank patted the children on their heads and shared a quick hug with Linda while Allie gleefully continued her compliments. “Well come on inside!” she eventually said.

  As they gathered in the living room, Allie beamed with excitement. “So how is everyone doing? How was your flight? Tell me about it.”

  “The children had a good time,” Linda responded with a smile. “Very first flight for them.”

  “First flight? Well, children, that must have been fun!”

  They both nodded, uncomfortable in their new surroundings. Linda noticed. “Why don’t you two run upstairs with your suitcases while we talk for a bit? Which room is theirs?” she asked, looking at Allie.

  “Second on the right. Frank, would you mind showing them the way?”

  “Sure. Come on, kids. Follow me. Here,
Amy, let me help you with your bag.”

  “Lane and Kathy are coming over for dinner,” Allie said. They could smell a wonderful aroma wafting from the kitchen. Allie leaned forward. “But before they get here, I just have to tell you who I ran into just yesterday. You’re not going to believe this.” She paused to build drama.

  Chase bit. “Okay, Allie, tell us.”

  “Sadie.”

  “Sadie? You saw Sadie?”

  “Yes! I went shopping and nearly ran into her in the store! She was looking at this scarlet dress, holding it up and—oh, I guess that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I recognized her immediately, though it took her a moment to place me. She lives only about five minutes from here, married for a long time with three kids! Can you imagine that?”

  Chase shrugged nonchalantly. “It is pretty strange to think about it.”

  Linda interrupted with a wry smile. “Anyone want to tell me who Sadie is?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, babe. You know the story of my last night here. Remember the girlfriend I had at the time?”

  “I guess so.”

  “That’s Sadie.”

  Allie jumped in. “So we’re talking for a bit and I ask her if she ever gave up drugs. Well she said—”

  “You actually asked her that?” Chase interjected.

  “Yes, of course I did. She wasn’t embarrassed at all. She said she kicked them when she got pregnant.”

  “Good.”

  Allie sat back triumphantly, invigorated by the way she had steered the conversation. “But Chase, you’re not going to believe this. Guess who she once saw?”

  Completely unable to keep up with her energy, he answered listlessly, “I don’t have a clue.”

  “Your dad!”

  “What?”

  “The kids are unpacking,” Frank announced as he came down the stairs. “I told them dinner would be ready pretty soon.”

  “Frank, I’m talking about Sadie and your dad,” Allie said, pretending to be annoyed at the interruption. Looking back at Chase, she continued. “So Sadie tells me she saw your dad a few months after you left.”

  “She never met him,” Chase objected. “How did she know it was him?”

  “Be patient. I’m getting there.” Allie paused again for effect. “Anyway, Sadie told me that one night she went to one of the local bars with her boyfriend and overheard a couple of men talking. One of them said he was a Macklin and proud of it.”

  “Doesn’t that sound like Dad?” Frank offered.

  “Frank, let me finish. So Sadie just walks up and asks him if he said his name was Macklin. Well, he was slurring all over the place but said yes. She then asked if he had a son named Chase. He said yes again!”

  “Amazing,” Chase observed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this.”

  “Yeah, but I’m not done yet! So they talk for a while about you and then—”

  “Great,” Chase mumbled.

  “And then your dad tells Sadie that if she ever saw you again, would she tell you that he was sorry for the way things turned out, that he really did love his kids but that he thought it best to stay away. He asked her to say that if his boys could ever find a way to forgive him, that would be nice.”

  “Nice?” Chase said sarcastically.

  “Don’t hold me to the exact word, just something like that.”

  “But you’re sure he said he was sorry and hoped for some sort of forgiveness?”

  “That’s what Sadie told me.”

  “And he actually mentioned that he loved us?”

  “I guess so.”

  Frank studied his brother’s reactions. “I can see what you’re thinking, Chase. I felt the same way. Dad saying he loved us? I don’t know about that. Wait a minute. I just heard Lane and Kathy’s car in the driveway. Why don’t you guys surprise them at the door?”

  “I’m not finished!” cried Allie.

  Lane barreled into the house without knocking, Kathy right behind him, nearly bowling over Chase and Linda as they were about to open the door. “Hey, what’s going on, bro? Almost killed you guys!” he shouted, offering a warm embrace. “This must be Linda! Great to meet you after, what, ten years or something? Linda, this is Kathy. Hey Allie, time to eat?”

  “Lane, I’m in the middle of the story about your dad and Sadie!”

  “Finish it later! I’m hungry!”

  “Oh, all right,” she agreed, not too happily. “I’ll go upstairs and get Amy and Ryan. Hey, Kathy,” she said with a complete change of attitude, “you won’t believe how much they look like Macklins!”

  Linda had heard similar comments, or perhaps compliments, throughout the years. She knew her children strongly resembled Chase, but this made her feel insecure, even more so when Allie kept mentioning the Macklin name. Linda couldn’t present anyone other than herself to support the resemblance to her own family. She had nothing but pictures to demonstrate the similarities and certainly no one with her to brag about those likenesses. She knew this to be petty, but she couldn’t help her feelings.

  “Look at them, Kathy!” Allie said proudly, pointing as the children made their way downstairs. “Don’t you think they look just like Macklins?”

  “I don’t know, Allie,” Lane said with a shrug. “I see a strong likeness between Linda and the kids, especially with little Amy. Look at her mouth and her eyes.”

  His words stunned Linda. Could he have read her mind? Could Lane really be that sensitive, or perhaps just extremely kind, or both? She grabbed Chase’s hand and whispered in his ear, “That was nice of him to say.”

  “Well, he’s a nice guy,” he replied, but not too softly.

  “What’d you say there, little bro? That I’m nice? I don’t know about that!” Lane began strutting around the room, flexing his muscles, the children giggling at his jocular antics. “I’m a pretty mean fella. Look at me!”

  “Okay, okay,” Allie said, joining in the laughter. “I think it’s time to eat.”

  The dinner conversation centered upon Linda, Amy, and Ryan. The aunts and uncles wanted to hear about work, school, teachers, and their trip to Disneyland. They listened to Linda tell the story of how she and Chase met, what her job entailed, and how she managed to put up with Chase for so long. Allie then changed the subject, becoming the first to ask about the house.

  “So tell us, what do you think of your new home? You’re not going to sell it, are you?”

  Chase loved her directness. “We don’t know yet. As I told you awhile back, we just want to take a look at it, walk the neighborhood, check out the school, and follow up on some possibilities of working in the area.”

  “So then you’re definitely moving here!” Allie responded excitedly.

  “We’re considering it. No need to rush such a big thing.”

  “Hey, why don’t we all go over there together tomorrow after work?” Lane suggested.

  Chase hesitated. He expected their visit to be more of an adventure and hoped his family could see the place without the influence of others. On the other hand, one of the reasons for a possible move included living near these four. He looked over at Linda. “What do you think, babe?”

  “Sure. That’d be great.”

  Lane quickly responded. “Well there you go! We’ll come over around five or so and carpool over.”

  Later that night Chase told Linda that he guessed it might be a good idea to get this part over with so they could enjoy their vacation as a family. He had the details mapped out: a road trip through Vermont and New Hampshire, over to the coast of Maine, and on to New York City and the Empire State Building. From there they would head to Philadelphia for a couple of days before finishing their excursion in Washington, D.C. Chase had never been to any of these places except for New York City, so his eagerness for adventure matched his family’s.

  The following day
after lunch, the four walked to a few of the areas Chase once frequented. He bought Amy and Ryan candy and sodas at Ted’s Market, took them to the park, showed them his elementary school, and pointed out the places he and Frank used to ride their bikes. Linda observed how quiet and peaceful the town appeared and concluded that it must be a safe. The afternoon passed quickly, and they found their way back to Frank and Allie’s, with Lane and Kathy just arriving as well.

  “Everyone ready?” Lane asked enthusiastically. He didn’t wait for a response. “Frank and Allie, you come with us. Chase, I’ll follow you.”

  They all agreed and hopped into their cars for the ten- minute drive. Chase, pleased that everyone would share this newly discovered treasure together, described the house to his family with as much detail as he could remember. He warned Linda about the rank odor in their bedroom and promised to rectify the situation immediately.

  Coming up to Washington Street, Chase hesitated at the yellow light and then sped through it, realizing he would have to pull over and wait for his brother. He slammed on his brakes when he saw an old pickup ram Lane’s car, spinning it around and sending it fifty feet or so past the other side of the intersection.

  “What’s the matter?” Linda screamed.

  “It’s Lane!” Chase shouted, parking by the sidewalk and jumping out of the car. “Keep the kids here!”

  As he raced to the scene, Chase’s fears intensified when he noticed the front end was nearly separated from the rest of the vehicle, everything a tangled mess. He glanced at the pickup, sprawled on its side. Thinking the worst, his heart pounding, Chase called out, “Lane! Frank! Are you all right?” He came closer to peer inside the dark vehicle and saw his worst nightmare. No one stirred. A small crowd gathered as tears poured down his face. He looked for Lane and Kathy but couldn’t see much through the wreckage. Frantically he turned toward the back seat. “Frank? Allie?”

  “I think we’re okay,” he heard Frank say in a shaky voice. “What happened?”

  “An accident.” His eyes searched toward the front. “Frank, I don’t think they made it!” Wiping away the tears so he could see, Chase reached out to touch Lane’s body. “Frank, they’re not responding!”