2 Maid in the Shade

by Bridget Allison

  I pressed my forehead to the wood frame and grinned. “Why Jared, I swear that sounded suspiciously like a phone being crushed. Did you get up by any chance?” I pulled open the dresser I kept in the bathroom and searched frantically for my clothes. There were plenty of thongs, some old T-shirt’s and a sheer robe. No shorts, no jeans. Damn it.

  I covered up as best I could and slipped the robe on before I came back out, trying desperately not to look defeated.

  “Hot in here now isn’t it?” He asked throwing the quilt safely behind the rocking chair. “Nice of you to change into your company underwear, although I could just about swear they are the same except the color.”

  “And I could just about swear you said you were going to keep your seat.”

  “I am mortal, you undoubtedly noticed I didn’t charge across the room, pick you up and throw you down on the bed.”

  “You’re not the type of man to do that. And you’re not the type of man who needs to do it either. Besides I’ve depended on your word to keep you from getting frisky.”

  “And now?”

  “I’ll depend on Mosey.”

  He closed his eyes, smiled and shook his head. “Sometimes being a southern gentleman, which I am” he said with emphasis, “is highly overrated. And that dog is about as frightening as a duck.”

  “Why are your eyes closed?”

  “Just imagining a beautiful vision.”

  “Pity about the photos.”

  He grinned. “Sure is.”

  I whistled loudly and Jared started as Mosey came galloping up into the room. I turned to him and knelt down, scratching him behind the ears, cooing and whispering as he grew more still until I let go of his collar.

  “C’mere fella,” Jared said enthusiastically. Mosey panted and gave his best happy smile as he approached Jared. I nudged the bathroom door open and flopped down on the bed facing them as Jared patted his knee and urged Mosey over. I sandwiched my hands under my chin and smiled at them.

  “He seems to like you.”

  Mosey laid his massive jaw on Jared’s thigh and looked up at him.

  “Why wouldn’t he? The dog knows me,” he grinned and attempted to pat him on the head just as Mosey ducked then turned away and headed for the half-opened door.

  “Where you heading buddy?” Jared called in amusement.

  I winked. “I think he needs his privacy.”

  Jared squinted his eyes and tilted his head quizzically at me.

  Just then we heard a plop and a flush.

  “Well that’s a disgusting little trick,” Jared said.

  I smiled with satisfaction. “Hardly took me any time at all to teach him. You know, the more you talk to dogs, the more words they understand. He was way ahead on that when I got him and he already knew how to manipulate simple items from his former training.”

  “Ooookay.” Jared said as though he were talking to a backward child.

  “Phone,” for instance, took very little time. He was probably already familiar with that word out in the field.”

  Jared glanced at the floor “Sonofabitch!” Jared yelled, then laughed.

  “I’d be offended on behalf of Mosey if he wasn’t technically the son of an actual bitch. Anyway, I am aware that photos can still be retrieved from a broken phone. That was just extra insurance against you keeping those or passing them on.”

  He grinned, which made me a little uneasy. “Now I believe you are the one who will be phone shopping for me,” Jared said”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Make your case for that and I’ll get right on it.”

  He settled back in the rocker. “My work phone is in the truck so you can owe me.” He flipped open his notebook and began.

  “Why don’t you tell me everything you know about Anita and Mae?”

  “I thought I was going to get dressed and meet you in the kitchen,” I protested.

  He laughed “Maybe you should start leaving some actual clothing up here then.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like I’ve had male guests up here before.”

  “Actually, you’re wrong there. I was an overnight guest here once.”

  “Oh yeah, excuse me for forgetting that. You were unremarkable.”

  “I was unconscious,” he protested.

  “Life is so unfair is it? Only time you’ll ever be in this bed and you dozed right through it. If I had feelings for you they’d be hurt.”

  “Never say never,” he smiled confidently.

  “Let me borrow your grandmother’s quilt?”

  “What? Nana’s quilt? That will take longer than we have. I can’t be running back to the farm…” his eyes widened. “Oh you mean this?” He reached behind the rocker and tossed it over me. “Upon closer examination I realized that is not, in fact made by anyone in my family.”

  I narrowed my eyes.

  He grinned. “I’m pretty sure that came from Pottery Barn or something.”

  “Because?”

  “Oh, well, my grandmother never quilted a day in her life—the only sewing she did was in a surgery. The only quilts she has were made by her friends. Besides, any Southerner worth his salt would see that one isn’t an actual pattern.”

  “You really are quite an ass.”

  “Some would argue I’m pretty charming,” he said.

  I stretched then shucked the robe slowly then lay back down and wrapped up in the quilt.

  He shook his head, “You are a real piece of work.”

  “Some might argue I have quite an ass though.”

  “I have heard such an argument somewhere pretty recently,” he said.

  “Pity there’s no proof.”

  “Indeed,” he nodded sadly. “I guess the only satisfaction I’m going to get from you today is that information on Anita.”

  I stretched and smiled victoriously before getting back to business. “Anita is dispassionate on the exterior, very methodical, and she has the best stats on wildlife survival in our group. I always think of her as a strong advocate for the weak. Bridle Springs is so small I’m surprised you don’t know more about her.”

  “She isn’t a native of this county, so there’s no family gossip about her background. She’s a counselor at the school, but keeps mostly to herself.”

  “Hmm, wonder what brought her here?”

  “Maybe the same thing that brought you?”

  I shuddered, “I sincerely hope not.”

  Jared gave me a curious look so I forged on briskly. “As for Mae, you know her better than I do; you are a homeboy here after all. But I do know Mae was into the environment and writing those books and she and Herb were married once. Mae had quite an ego about being an author and I heard from Lucy they had a tight pre-nup before they married and divorced.”

  “How’d she know a thing like that?”

  “You know Lucy, she’s a man eater. I’m pretty sure she heard it from one of the deputies.”

  Jared frowned, “We just discovered they never officially filed. Rumor has it they were trying to wait each other out for some reason. Anita took Mae to the courthouse a couple of days ago at Bill’s request. He was getting frustrated and wanted to make sure Mae got it done, but Mae was missing part of the forms.”

  “So... did she get around to changing her will?”

  “Nope, Herb still is the beneficiary.”

  “Huh, maybe she was subconsciously hoping to give it another shot? Yikes, that would have hurt Bill, I guess. Although, it's probably only natural since they were spending so much time together. She was working on one of her “how to” books with Herb about living off the land,” I said significantly.

  “Or maybe she just forgot some paperwork,” he said. “Remember, if you hear hooves pounding...”

  “I know,” I said “Think horses not zebras.”

  I started to mention the few pages of legal documents I had noticed in Anita’s car but thought better of it. Mae had probably left them there as an oversight and it would just focus unwanted and un
deserved attention on Anita for her good deed of driving Mae to the courthouse. One thing I was certain of, Anita was above reproach.

  “Didn’t you think it was odd that Mae and Herb spent so much time together?” I asked.

  He nodded, “The living off the land stuff; that’s in Herb's wheelhouse.” Jared said. “I guess even if Bill had been jealous he was logical enough to see it only made sense for them to work on that together.”

  “Yeah, I think Herb was teaching her the subject so she could write it. I imagine those books entail a lot of research.”

  “We’ll check on that,” Jared said flipping the small notebook shut.

  Just then the doorbell rang. “I'll answer it,” Jared offered.

  “Are you mad?” I screeched. “It’s early morning. I am wearing practically nothing. I'm in my bed! Don't you move,” I warned, “and close your eyes.”

  “Oh you flaunt it fine when it’s your idea, so not a chance,” he laughed.

  Forgoing all modesty I jumped up and tied the sash on my wisp of a robe. I gave him a withering look before I raced down to the door.

  “Your key is missing!” Lucy said accusingly. “And you locked the door? Jared's truck is here. What’s goin’ on?” She was so hopeful I almost hated to let her down.

  “Much less than meets the eye.”

  She gave me a long glance, head to toe, particularly taking in the sheer robe.

  “I should hope not,” she said, smiling.

  “Oh don’t get all atwitter; he stopped by to tell me we may be quarantined until they find out the cause of death on Mae. Then he thought I might be able to shed some light on Anita and Mae’s relationship.”

  “Did he now?” Lucy grinned and pushed past me.

  She trotted off to the kitchen, tapped the button on the coffee machine, making a cup for each of us and an extra for Jared. While the machine ground away I sorted through the laundry and pulled a vintage pair of J Brand jeans from the stack and hurriedly struggled into them and pulled off the robe. Then she handed me my cup, and I helplessly followed her back up to my bedroom.

  “Hi Jared,” she said brightly, “blonde and strong like your women right?” She looked pointedly at me then handed him his cup and settled cross-legged on the bed, patting a place beside her for me to sit.

  “Here to warn the citizenry are we? Rumor has it there may be quarantine. My kids are at camp, spouse is in Singapore, and I couldn't think of a more entertaining place to be than Gretchen's house! And look! Double the fun! Can you imagine what double the fun might be like?”

  Jared closed his eyes and shook his head.

  Lucy spoke up again excitedly “Did you hear Bill and Anita had words at the Oasis?”

  I spoke up, “Maybe Bill had a roving eye and was trying to get something started with Anita?”

  They looked at me speculatively.

  “You don’t seem to have a real high opinion of men,” Jared said flatly.

  “Au Contraire, I’m wild about men, except the ones that assault me, harass me or attach themselves to me like I owe them money. I think my prejudices aren’t discriminatory. I like to think positively about people, let’s just say I’m rarely shocked anymore.”

  “Understandable,” Lucy looked at me with the closest thing to sympathy she could muster up against the sharp glance I gave her.

  I continued, “I’m not saying I think Anita is capable of anything nefarious. She seems to like her independence and her privacy. Many rehabbers are disenchanted with humanity and prefer the company of animals to relationships with people. But I wouldn’t characterize Anita exactly that way,” I hastily amended. “A lot of them tend to be a little curt with people, but they would give CPR to a field mouse. That was just a very general observation.”

  Anyway, this is exciting as all get out, but when do I find out if I am hostage, I mean hostess, to you both?”

  Jared looked from me to Lucy before speaking up, “They fast-tracked it, but now they’re looking for toxins and viral causes. We could have an answer in hours or days. But we aren't quarantined yet.”

  I stood up, “I have to grab that muskrat. I'm assuming until they decide what killed Mae no one is allowed inside?”

  “It's locked,” Jared said flatly, “and taped off.”

  “So we break in,” I grinned “she had those older doors, probably an easy lock to open as long as there’s no deadbolt on at least one of them. If we get caught, you say you saw my car and came in to arrest us.”

  Lucy drummed her boots on the floor in excitement, “So I can come? If they call in and quarantine us I don't want to be alone. And, if we go to jail that will be more fun for you with me along.” She winked, “See how I always put you first?”

  Jared grimaced and stood up. “Who's driving?”

  “Shouldn’t you take your own car in case we do get caught?” I asked.

  “Nah, might as well go together; like they say “go big or go home.”

  “I bet Gretchen would love to watch you going big,” Lucy winked.

  Jared chuckled, “She’s been given ample opportunity.”

  “Hey.” I said heading for the door as they followed, “Stop talking about me like I’m not here, although at the moment I’d give a lot to be elsewhere.”

  “Then lucky for you we are on our way elsewhere,” Jared said, and one of them popped me on the fanny.

  I whipped around and they each gave me wide-eyed stares of innocence.

  Then Lucy laughed, “It was me, you know I can’t resist that glorious rear end of yours.”

  “Hmmm,” I said, “now I’m sure it was Jared, you never cop to anything you can get away with.”

  Minutes later we slipped into Mae's the back way, easily popping the lock with a credit card.

  “You have a real peculiar set of skills,” Lucy said, “Jared; doesn’t it just make you wonder what else Gretchen can do?” Before he could answer I grabbed her shoulders and steered her over the threshold. “I lose my keys a lot,” I said by way of explanation. “That’s why I keep one in the boot, remember?”

  Once we were inside Jared and Lucy began milling around carefully. I walked over to the kitchen office and pressed a button on the keyboard with a pen I found lying on the built-in desk.

  “Oops!” I said, and Jared glared at me and then rolled his eyes. The screen came to life with Mae's title page: I scrolled down to the dedication “To Bill, the only proof I need that soul mates exist.”

  I hurriedly scanned through the pages until I found a stone stew recipe and flipped back some more to catch the chapter name: “Cautionary Cuisine.” This section was about the edible plants with poisonous twins, such as mushrooms, wild carrots and berries; and how to detect the safe ones and cook them if you want to take the risk.

  Jared cleared his throat impatiently as I skimmed over the recipes then headed into the garage. There was the muskrat, looking no worse for wear, caged in a far corner of the room.

  I picked up his crate, carrying it through the house and depositing it on the back porch. Rejecting Jared’s tepid offer of help, I looked the animal over carefully without touching him and lugged the cage out to the wetland behind Mae's home.

  When I got there the little varmint rushed into the water as soon as I opened the door.

  This was a great habitat for him I thought, scanning the area. After making sure he seemed acclimated, I carried the cage back to the driveway to load up for Anita, and then remembered I had left my own carrier the day before when I came for the owl.

  When I came back in, Lucy popped out from the kitchen.

  “Don't move.” she said firmly.

  I gaped at her in puzzlement.

  “Your shoes, you're carrying red clay in.”

  “Ah! You're right, wonder where I picked that up?”

  Remembering the mixture of dark soil and red clay in Mae's sink, I backed out. “Hold on a second.”

  I raced back to the wetland and looked around the area where I had just released th
e muskrat. Sure enough, someone had recently dug up a plant close to where I had been standing. I walked over to Mae's composter and looked inside, turning the ingredients over with the handle. I studied it hard for a moment then returned to Mae's.

  After I removed my shoes I stepped back in and said to Jared. “Done, just let me look at one thing.” I walked over and peered into the kitchen trash can which was empty save for a liner. Then I fetched my shoes, passed into the garage and picked up my carrier on the way to the car.

  I was grateful that Jared dropped Lucy at her own house and she went without complaint. “Three’s a crowd” she said winking, “unless you happen to be in France or one of the more enlightened neighborhoods around here.”

  I rolled my eyes but Jared responded tersely. “Two’s a crowd apparently in some parts of SkyHaven.” As soon as we got to my place he jumped out of Bessless with an abrupt goodbye and headed straight for his truck. Now that was a bit of a surprise; no risqué sparring or attempts to negotiate a date or even that kiss? Maybe he was giving up, I thought dejectedly, then tried to remind myself this was exactly what I had wanted him to do.

  As soon as I got through the door, I let Mosey out back and watched him loiter around the hedges while I thought about Mae.

  On an impulse I called Anita under the pretext of updating her on the muskrat. “One more thing,” I said, “Some people saw you arguing with Bill at the Oasis, what was that about?”

  “No harm in telling now, I suppose, Bill and I come from the same hometown, I was insisting he tell Mae that he was married before; he was afraid she would dump him because he hadn’t been more forthcoming from the start about it. It was awkward, but I thought he owed Mae the truth.”

  “Oh, small world, but you should probably call Sheriff Hensley about that then, rumors are flying.”

  “Thanks for the heads up,” she said seriously, “I moved here to get away from all that and get a fresh start.”

  “Isn’t a weird coincidence that Bill is here now too?”

  “Might be if I had moved here from Wyoming, but I’ve always lived in North Carolina, so not really that interesting no,” she said firmly.