Circles the Trilogy (Secrets and Lies)

by Carla Buchanan

  There is a soft knock on the door. “Come in,” I say.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt you Ms. Ellis, but if we don’t get started now, we won’t be finished by one. Your mother-in-law has made it perfectly clear that you are to be ready by one o’clock or we won’t be paid.”

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll be right there.”

  I grab Neesa’s hand and she gives me a gentle squeeze. Without me saying anything, she knows that I’ve made the decision to go ahead with this charade and being the good friend that she is, she supports me completely. We go out with fake smiles plastered across our faces and let the style team do their work. Neesa is in her element as she talks fashion and discusses celebrity gossip with the team. She keeps the conversation going and covers for me as I sit there quietly. Every once in a while she looks over at me and knows that I’m worried about my missing phone. She smiles at me reassuringly and every time she does this, I feel a lump form in my throat.

  “Oh honey. You need to put a smile on that perfect face of yours or this makeup I’m putting on you will do you no good at all,” the man I now know is named Charleston says to me as he puts the finishing touches on my makeup. I smile brightly at him. I should probably practice the smile I’ll be forced to wear so now is as good a time as any. “That’s better.” He turns to the woman who is standing in front of my dress, steaming away wrinkles that aren’t there. A younger woman that I assume is her assistant spreads open a dressing screen and I am taken behind it so I can put on my dress.

  Neesa joins me behind the screen as she knows that putting on this dress will be very emotional for me. Putting on this dress will signify the acceptance of my situation and my commitment to see this through.

  “I’ll help her with the dress,” Neesa tells the woman. The woman hands Neesa a pair of white cloth gloves and Neesa helps me into the dress. She moves my hair to the side before she zips it and then I hear a giggle that turns into a full-blown laugh.

  I turn and try to scowl at her but I know I’m missing the mark because she continues to laugh. I can’t help it and I burst into a fit of giggles as well. I know exactly what she is laughing at – my hickey.

  “What are you two? Teenagers or something? Doesn’t he know that those marks are supposed to go in places where no one else can see them?” She then manages to get my dress zipped as her giggles trail off. I am not concerned about the people on the other side of the screen hearing anything since Neesa hasn’t used any names.

  “I think it was his way of marking me and reminding me that I am his.”

  “Hmph. That sounds like the arrogant bastard.” Then we both burst into another fit of giggles. This is exactly what I need right now and Neesa knows it. I haven’t laughed like this since the day Quinton and went to Pine Mountain to see the animals and it feels really good. I now feel like I have the strength to take on the rest of this day.

  I step from behind the screen and the stylist’s assistant hands me a neutral pair of peep-toe, ankle wrap Christian Louboutin pumps. I have to admit that they are a fierce pair of shoes and I acknowledge that Mrs. Bryant has exceptional taste. Even Neesa admits that Mrs. Bryant and my mother have done a great job in choosing my ensemble for the day. I put on a few white gold accessories and make sure my hair is covering the mark on my neck and go in search of my mother and Mrs. Bryant. We are done only two minutes early and I have assured the stylist team that if there is any trouble from Mrs. Bryant about their pay to contact me. It’s my fault that we cut it so close and I will be happy to pay them from my trust fund.

  Once I spot our mothers across the way, I give Neesa and hug and tell her that I’ll see her later. She is going back into the cottage to get herself ready for the four o’clock event. I have to go and take photos as well as sit through a few interviews before the party since only the event photographers and a few handpicked reporters will be let inside once the party starts.

  Twelve – The Secret

  Daryn is suspiciously nice as we are prepped and go through what will happen during the photo shoot and interviews. During the interviews he appears as a person in love with his fiancée and I am more than afraid of this calm side of him. For a split second I think he may not have gone through my phone but that second evaporates when we are nearing the end of the photo shoot. To anyone else it would look like he is being flirty and whispering something in my ear but I know different.

  “Who was the person that came to see you yesterday?” he asks. His voice is scary and hard and I stiffen. The director of the photo shoot tells Daryn to put his arms around my waist and continue the flirty behavior. He tells me to smile and I obey.

  Daryn is behind me and I am so afraid to turn around and look at him because as I am about to deny that I know what he is asking about, but he keeps talking. “Don’t you even deny it, Sasha,” he says as we both smile for the camera, “I’ve already had to cover for you because of this mark on your neck.” He then kisses the spot on my neck where the mark is located and I close my eyes. The director thinks that his kiss has affected me and I am closing my eyes because of it, but I am actually trying to get my breathing under control. I’m terrified.

  I wonder why he has waited this long to say something. We’ve been through a few interviews and now we are nearing the end of the photo shoot and he’s kept quiet. I assume that he has carefully timed this confrontation. If he had mentioned this when he first saw me again then I may not have gone through with any of it. This way, the interviews and pictures are out there and I am less likely to back out.

  Taking my hand, Daryn twirls me around as if we are on a dance floor and then pulls me back into his chest with our hands still joined. The photographer is still snapping pictures and the director is singing our praises because Daryn is putting on such a great show. Then he does something he never does in public and kisses me.

  “Respond to my kiss Sasha,” Daryn orders and I part my lips and put on an Oscar worthy performance for the camera. Then his whole demeanor changes and he says to the director, “We’re done here. I want to be alone with my beautiful fiancée.”

  He leads me away. We go in the opposite direction of where people have started to gather to wait for our appearance. We head down a hallway and to a side of the house where there are no people and enter his father’s office. Daryn closes and locks the door behind him. He leans against the door as if trying to prevent any attempt I may make to escape.

  He pulls my phone from the coat pocket of his tan suit. He starts to read through some of the messages.

  “This first one is from an unknown number. It says, ‘I heard from a reliable source that my Society Girl would be around today. Mind if I come say hello?’ Not so bad, right. I guess that could have been from anyone.” He then slides his finger across the screen. I assume that he is skipping through the messages that Neesa has sent and then he stops. “Oh this is a good one. ‘Where did you go? I didn’t want to text since you’re with him but Aneesa says you aren’t answering any of her calls or texts. We’re worried.’ Hmmm. The plot thickens. Shall we continue?”

  I don’t say anything. I don’t react and I don’t nod or shake my head at his question. I do take a few steps back because of the way he looks at me when asks the question. His eyes are cold and expressionless and I feel that something is about to happen, but I am not sure what it is yet.

  “Hmmm. I think we shall. The next text comes early this morning. ‘Baby. Please let me know that you’re okay. I can’t take this anymore. You’re scaring all of us. Just say the word and Roc and I will be there to get you. I won’t be okay until you’re in my arms again.’”

  Daryn presses a few buttons on the phone and I hear the operator say that I have eight unheard messages. The first few are from Neesa. She is worried and wants to make sure that I’m okay. The next couple are from Quinton. He doesn’t say anything out of the ordinary, but when I look at Daryn I know that he recognizes the voice, but he stays silent. He laughs as the last message begins to
play. It’s a diabolical laugh. It’s one that has me taking more steps backward until my back hits a shelf across the room.

  “Shhh. Listen to this. This is good.”

  Quinton’s voice comes through the speaker. ‘Daryn, I have a feeling you’re listening to this. I guess by now you know who this is and that Sasha and I have been together. Or at least that is probably what you assume. I just wanna let your punk ass know that it won’t be long before Sasha finds her way to me. I heard the things you said to her last night on the phone and I don’t like that shit at all. You’re lucky she left before you could show your face here last night because I would’ve had to teach your ass a lesson in respect. You are not a man, you’re a coward, a manipulator, and a liar. I promise you that if you touch one hair on Sasha’s body or harm her in any way, you’ll have me to deal with and that’s not a threat, that’s a promise. If you can hear this, Sasha baby, I love you. Remember what I told you yesterday. You are mine and not even a million newspaper articles, television appearances, or even a marriage certificate will change that. I –”

  Daryn ends the message at that point and places the phone on the desk. “No need to keep playing that. The rest doesn’t really matter, now does it, Sasha?”

  I say nothing.

  Daryn slowly stalks across the room to me. He snakes his arms around my waist when he reaches me. He kisses his way from my earlobe down to where my cleavage is hidden by the top of the dress. It’s not a sensual kiss, it feels like an unspoken threat and I am stunned at Daryn’s behavior.

  “Honey? Are you afraid of me right now?” I ball my fists at my side. I don’t want to touch him, I don’t want to feel him and I don’t want to respond to anything he says or does. I tense even further and that excites him. I want to throw up at the fact that he is getting hard at the thought that his actions are making me shake in fear. “Don’t be afraid, Sasha. I just want to give you what you want and deserve,” he says in an eerily calm voice that I don’t recognize. “Turn around Sasha,” he orders me and I do as he says. I’m pretty sure that he won’t hurt me but I still am inclined to do as he says. I don’t want to add fuel to an already raging inferno.

  “Daryn, please.” I’m not begging him like I begged Quinton. I am pleading with Daryn not to do anything that he may regret later. I am pleading with him to just talk to me and not let his anger rule his actions. I am pleading with him to not do what I know he’s about to do.

  “Is that what you said to him, Honey? Did you beg him to fuck you? For fuck’s sake, Sasha, he is a client of the firm. A firm where I’m partner at.”

  Daryn unzips my dress and it falls to the floor. He motions for me to step out of it and I do. I am left standing there in a nude strapless corset and matching thong panties. I don’t turn around, but I hear him lay the dress somewhere in the room before returning to me.

  “We wouldn’t want to upset our mothers and mess up such a beautiful dress now would we?” I remain quiet. “I swear to God, Sasha. You better say something to me or this is going to turn ugly really fast,” he says and then rips my panties away from my body. “I asked you did you beg him?” he screams at me.

  “Yes.” It’s only a whisper, but I manage to get it out. I’m surprised that I’m not crying or falling apart, but I am determined to remain in control and not give Daryn the satisfaction of seeing me break down.

  “Yes what, Sasha? Say it dammit!”

  “Yes!” I scream. “I begged him to fuck me.” My strength and courage have taken me as far as they can take me and humiliation settles like a cloud over me. I start to cry. I cry even as Daryn yanks me into him so I can feel his erection. I cry as he pulls me across the room and pushes me onto the antique leather couch across the room. I cry as I hear Daryn unzip his pants and move close to me. I cry as he pulls my hips up and forces my legs apart and rams into me. I cry and cry and cry until I’m numb. I’m numb to everything. I don’t know how long it takes him to finish his business, but I know he does when he leaves his seed all over the curve of my butt and lower back. He then pulls away and leans over and kisses me on the spot where Quinton has marked me.

  He stands and I hear him fixing his clothing. I lie there. My fiancé has just raped me and I know I’ll never be the same after this experience.

  “We all thought we could save you from yourself, Sasha. We couldn’t. You were destined to turn out like her,” he says. “You were destined to turn out like the drug-addicted whore of a mother that gave birth to you. Your parents should’ve never agreed to save you from her. No one thought the slut trait could be inherited, but I guess we were wrong.” He pulls me by my elbow and makes me stand. I am facing him, but my head is down. I feel nauseous when his cum starts to run down the back of my body. He grabs my chin roughly and makes me make eye contact with him. “But guess what, Honey… You have me. I’ll be with you for the rest of your life making sure you realize the opportunity you’ve been given. You were saved from a woman who’d have sold you for her next hit and bred to be part of the ultimate social circle. You are not his. You are mine. And I’ll be happy to treat you like the slut that you are behind closed doors. It would be my pleasure. Now go clean yourself up. Our public is waiting for us.”

  I am stunned at his words. I am stunned at the secret he’s just revealed. Never in a million years did I think the reason I’d been watched over and my personal life so closely monitored that the motivation behind it was something so life-changing. My mother is not my mother. My parents are not my parents. I was sold to them? What the fuck is going on? And why the fuck does Daryn know this and I don’t? As if he was hearing every thought in my head Daryn responds to the confused, lost, defeated, shameful look on my face.

  “Yes, Honey. You heard me right. The woman who gave birth to you is not Winifred Ellis. Your mother was a prostitute and a drug addict who wished you’d never been conceived. Your mother… oh excuse me, Winnie, asked me to keep an eye on you a month after we started seeing each other. We knew back then that the plan was for me to marry you eventually so she felt I should know your secret before agreeing to continue our relationship.”

  Daryn then turns me around and places his hands on my shoulders. He directs me to the bathroom inside the office. He tells me that he’ll be sending the people from hair and makeup in to fix what I’ve made him do. Then he disappears without another word.

  I want to run after him. I want him to elaborate. I want him to explain what he’s just told me but I know that’s why he left – so I won’t be able to ask those questions. He realizes that if I’m anything, I’m a woman who won’t make scene and I won’t embarrass my parents or his parents in front of some of the most influential people in Atlanta. I will go through with this event and pretend to be the happy bride-to-be. Anyway, how do I know he’s even telling me the truth. He could be lying. Jesus, what am I going to do with this information?

  ***

  Once I’m back in my dress, I hear a knock and let in the people who are there to fix my hair and makeup. They are silent as if they know something bad has happened. When they are nearly done, Neesa throws open the door and tells everyone to get out.

  I start to cry again. “Oh, Sweetie. What happened? What did he do to you?” she asks.

  My hands are clutched into fists into the pockets of my dress. I look down as if to suggest that that is where she’ll find the answers. She stands over me and pulls my hands out of my pockets and gasps at the scrap of material that I have hidden there.

  “Oh, God. Fuck, Sasha! Did he…”

  Her voice trails off, but the question is still there. My first instinct is to lie but I can’t do it. I’m done lying for him. He’s just humiliated me and told me things about myself that he shouldn’t know. I don’t understand why my parents never told me any of the things he’s just revealed to me and I really don’t’ understand why they would’ve told him and not have told me. I can’t tell Neesa those things right now because I’m not sure if any of what he said is true. I need to talk to m
y parents before I say anything about it. But I do nod and answer the question she left lingering there.

  “Motherfucker,” she says and then she storms toward the door, her eyes dripping with anger.

  I jump up and grab her arm before she gets too far. “Don’t Neesa. Let’s just get through this day and we’ll figure out what to do together. There is more to the story that you don’t know.” She raises an eyebrow as if she is prompting me to spill, but I don’t. “I will tell you everything soon. I need to talk to my parents first.”

  My eyes are pleading and she nods. Her words are laced with concern when she asks, “Do you honestly think they’ll believe you when you tell them what Daryn has done?”

  Without hesitation I say, “No. But that’s not what I need to talk to them about. Like I said, there are things you don’t know and I need to talk to them first before I say anything to anybody else.”

  “Okay. But do you really think that you should go through with this after what he’s done? I mean, I know he is your fiancé, but that man out there forced himself on you. He doesn’t deserve for you to go out there and play nice so his family will good for the cameras. And as far as I’m concerned, neither does your family. These people and their little circles disgust me. You’ve played by their rules all of your life and this is how you’re repaid. I really don’t understand this blind loyalty you have, Sasha, and I don’t think I can hang around and watch you play the doting fiancée to a rapist.” With that she gets up and walks away. I know I haven’t lost her, but she is angry and I can admit to myself that her words are true. But I need to see how this all plays out, it may be the only way that I’ll get the answers I’m seeking.

  As I walk out of the office, Mrs. Bryant is waiting with a look of distress on her face. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that it is a quarter after four. “I’m so sorry, Ella. Daryn and I were just –”