True Blue

by Sasha Wasley

  What the hell?

  Jay hadn’t sat in on Free’s classes since the third week of the semester – and now she trusted Free so little that she was going to start supervising her again? Free couldn’t recover the sentence she’d been saying. She changed tack, trying to pretend Jay wasn’t there, and got the students working on a basic portrait exercise.

  These kids weren’t stupid. They knew Ms Lincoln was there because Miss Paterson had screwed up, and they saw how flustered that made Free. They were especially polite to her and tried extra hard, which was touching but didn’t diminish her mortification. Tia seemed deeply disturbed by the situation. Her eyes kept creeping up to Free’s face and across to Jay, who worked silently on her laptop in the corner. Even worse, Aidan arrived. Free saw him peer into her classroom from the wet area before he retreated into the office.

  Normally the hour flew by, but today it felt like a week. At last it was four o’clock and the kids packed up to go home. There were none of the usual high-spirited calls of farewell, either. Just a few subdued ‘Bye, Miss Patz’. Free tidied up wordlessly once they’d left, and Jay tapped at her laptop. The classroom door swung open and Tia appeared, panting slightly.

  ‘Oh, hiya,’ said Free. ‘Did you forget something?’

  ‘I – I need to tell Ms Lincoln something.’

  Jay waited. Tia, pink-cheeked, attempted to catch her breath.

  ‘I don’t want to accuse anyone of anything, but I saw something a bit weird, and I thought I should tell you.’

  ‘Tell us?’ Jay prompted.

  ‘I was in here during lunch last week, working on my oil painting. It was after Mr Hamilton’s class. I saw the old glaze – the container – out in the wet area. The Year Tens’ tiles had just been sprayed and I thought maybe they’d accidentally used the wrong glaze.’ Jay’s face changed. ‘I should have said something,’ Tia added in a rush. ‘But I didn’t think it was my business.’

  Jay’s mouth fell open.

  ‘And my neighbour, Callie —’

  Tia stopped because Aidan himself appeared, wearing bright cycling colours. The girl’s face blanched and she made a move to leave.

  ‘It’s okay,’ Free told her, catching her arm. ‘Wait a minute.’

  Aidan observed the three of them. ‘So, where are these tiles? Let’s see if they can be salvaged.’

  Jay slid off her stool and snatched up the box of broken tiles. She thrust it under his nose.

  ‘What do you think, Aidan?’ she challenged him. ‘Can these be salvaged?’

  Tia slipped behind Free. Aidan looked into the box and shot Jay a wary look.

  ‘Probably not.’

  Next, Jay strode to the storeroom. She emerged with the tin of older glazing suspension, smacking it down onto the bench. She levered the lid off. Free edged nearer and stood on her tiptoes to peep in from a distance.

  ‘Oh no,’ she said, unable to stay silent. ‘They did use it. There’s hardly any left.’

  Jay’s mouth had become in a thin, angry line. ‘You slimy prick,’ she hissed at Aidan.

  He blinked. ‘What the hell?’

  ‘You deliberately used the old glaze, even after Free warned us what it might do to the kids’ tiles.’

  He scoffed and denied it but the weight of evidence against him was overwhelming. ‘All right,’ he said. ‘I may have accidentally used the wrong glaze. An honest mistake.’

  ‘You thought Free was wrong,’ Jay fired at him. ‘You were trying to prove a point.’

  For once, Free didn’t demur. As soon as Jay said it, she knew it to be true. That was exactly the kind of thing Aidan would do. He would love to expose Free’s foolish extravagance in insisting on the new glazes.

  ‘I wouldn’t jeopardise the students’ work like that,’ Aidan said, putting on a good performance of injured innocence.

  Tia was once again making a move towards the door but Jay beckoned her back to the bench.

  ‘What were you going to say about Callie?’ she asked.

  Tia stared at the floor. Free held her breath during the long silence. She’d just about given up hope when Tia spoke.

  ‘Um, my neighbour, Callie, she’s in Year Ten art with Mr Hamilton. Callie reckons he’s been saying stuff in class, that the new glaze Miss Paterson ordered is a waste of money and they should just use the old one. And that’s why I noticed when he did use the old one.’

  ‘Bullshit,’ Aidan snapped. ‘What a load of utter bullshit. I never said anything like that. You’ve been coaching her,’ he accused Free.

  ‘You’ve had it in for Free since she first made the suggestion,’ Jay returned. ‘And you’re so bloody convinced of your own superiority that I’d bet you have never once imagined you might be wrong. You know what? Get the hell out of my art department, you arsehole. I should have known you’d be dodgy,’ she added. ‘The apple never falls far from the tree.’

  His tight face had somehow become tighter. He shot a hate-filled glare at Free, then Tia. Free put a protective arm around the girl and stared back at him, daring him silently to say a word. He gave them his most dignified eyeroll and turned, choosing to stride away through the wet area rather than pass them to exit through the classroom door.

  Jay and Free exchanged a long look, Free’s heart hammering in her chest. Jay transferred her gaze to the trembling girl.

  ‘Good on you, Tia,’ she said. ‘I know you don’t like to speak out of turn, but it was important that you did this time, and you recognised that. Thank you.’

  ‘It’s okay.’ Tia almost whispered the words.

  ‘He might still deny it,’ Free said.

  ‘I don’t care,’ Jay said. ‘As far as I’m concerned, he’s out the door.’

  ‘I hope he doesn’t try to claim unfair dismissal.’ Free sighed.

  ‘I’ll tell what I saw,’ Tia offered. ‘If anyone asks me.’

  ‘That’s so brave!’ Free hugged Tia. ‘You’re amazing!’

  A tiny smile broke on Tia’s lips. ‘I’d better go home.’

  ‘Yes, off you go.’ Jay watched as Tia departed. She brought her eyes back to Free. ‘Well. Drink?’

  They removed to the art office to decompress.

  ‘What a frigging nightmare.’ Jay sighed. She pulled down a fat dictionary of modern art to reveal a little bottle of whisky and poured them both a shot in their coffee mugs.

  Free sipped tentatively, and used one of her father’s favourite expressions. ‘You couldn’t make it up.’

  Jay chuckled and clinked her cup against Free’s, her gaze warm. ‘I should have known it was Aidan’s screw-up, not yours. You know your stuff – always have.’ She shook her black curls. ‘I’ll be glad to be rid of him. I’ll make an official phone call shortly, and if he tries to show his ugly mug here for his next class, I’ll be pointing him towards the door.’

  ‘Surely he wouldn’t dare,’ Free said.

  She shrugged. ‘He’s got arrogance in spades. I never couldstand the little prick.’ Jay relaxed back in her chair. ‘Well, I guess it’s just you and me now. We’ve got a bit of a job ahead of us, getting the Year Tens to remake all their tiles. You up for the challenge?’

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘Good stuff. You’re a keeper, Free.’

  A keeper! Free floated towards home on the back of the compliment. She parked near the bridge over the Herne and hopped out, tracking back to the walkway so she could look down into the river. Water trickled down a concrete wall into the main catchment, known as Freshwater Lake. The lake stretched out before her, quiet, green and still in the dying afternoon light. She should take a photo. But she just stood and took it in instead, breathing in the soft, warm scent of a dry-season afternoon, tinged with an earthy edge of wetland life.

  A message from Beth came through on her phone.

  Saw your missed call yesterday and figured you’d call back if it was important. But Dani just told me you rang the clinic for me, too. Everything okay?

  No. Free replied. We nee
d to talk.

  ?? Beth answered, and a moment later, I’m finished for the day. Can I come over? I’ve got something for you from Willow.

  Free replied in the affirmative and got back into her car.

  When Free pulled into her garage, Beth’s Beast was already parked on the verge. She parked and came around the side of the house to find Beth on her porch. They eyed one another for a long moment.

  ‘I know what you did,’ Free said at last. She climbed the steps to unlock her door. ‘In fact, everyone knows. It doesn’t help me, you know, when you do stuff like this. It undermines me.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Beth, following her inside.

  Free switched on the kettle. ‘You and the chamber.’

  She stopped to give Beth a pointed look, but Beth simply knitted her eyebrows as though she were completely innocent and dropped her bag on the table.

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  Free huffed a frustrated sigh. ‘Look, I can handle you thinking I’m a monumental screw-up. I guess I caused it, in a way, by running to you whenever I had a problem. I should have kept my mouth shut and tried to solve my problems by myself. But the residency. Beth, that was wrong. Really wrong. If I couldn’t get it on my own merit, I didn’t want it.’ She studied Beth’s face. ‘Maybe I’m not successful like you. Maybe I don’t have a medical degree and my own business, and maybe I’m just a struggling artist who still lives at home with her dad, but at least you could show me the respect of letting me find my own way. I don’t want to ride on your coat-tails. I want to have my occasional little successes honestly, not because my big sister greased the wheels for me.’ Free sat down opposite her sister and reached across the table to seize her hand. ‘Please. Promise me you’ll never do that again. Please, Beth.’

  Beth had turned a little pale, and her dark eyes were growing rounder by the moment. ‘Me? What the hell? I never greased any wheels!’

  Free squinted, trying to work out if she could believe her. Beth snatched her hand away.

  ‘Fine, I’ll admit I worry about you. Finn, for example. He hurt you when he was dating that Phoebe girl, and in my experience, that means he’ll hurt you again.’ Free opened her mouth to argue, but Beth barged on. ‘But I never, ever interfered in your career, Freya Paterson. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Who would I grease the wheels with? I don’t know anyone who would have any influence in the selection process. Wasn’t it all decided by some government agency or something?’

  ‘YouthArts,’ said Free, her mind spinning. ‘And the shire.’

  ‘The shire? I’ve got nothing to do with the shire!’

  ‘You’re in the Chamber of Commerce,’ Free mumbled.

  Beth scoffed. ‘I’m a member, that’s all – like most businesses in Mount Clair. And the chamber isn’t the same thing as the shire, anyway. Okay, there are a few members who sit on both, but I’ve never discussed you or your career with any of them, as far as I can remember. Free, I am entirely innocent of interfering in your contract!’ Beth’s voice had gone a little shrill with indignation and Free couldn’t doubt her sincerity any longer.

  She held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. ‘Okay! I’m sorry. I guess I got that wrong. Aidan Hamilton implied that was how I got the job, and I got paranoid.’

  ‘That guy you work with?’ Beth wrinkled her nose. ‘What would he know? He probably had an axe to grind with you for some reason of his own. Let me guess – he asked you out and you knocked him back?’ Free’s face must have told the story because Beth nodded. ‘Yep. Pissed off at being rejected so he undermines your work. Classic workplace sexual harassment.’

  ‘Huh?’ Free paused. ‘Yeah, actually, you might be right. But are you sure you didn’t, you know, somehow inadvertently put in a good word for me?’

  Something between exasperation and amusement crossed Beth’s face. ‘Why in hell would I even need to? You’re perfectly capable of impressing people. You’ve got loads of talent and a natural way of putting people at ease. I wasn’t at all surprised when you got selected.’

  ‘Oh!’

  Beth dropped her gaze to the scratched table and there was a long silence.

  ‘Okay,’ she said at last. ‘I’m sorry for being disrespectful. I’ll try harder. I never meant to make you feel small or inadequate. I love you and Willow more than anything in the world, and I’m so proud of you – both of you. Making you feel like this – it’s totally not what I wanted.’ She gave a shaky sigh. ‘All I ever wanted was for you two to be safe and happy. Maybe it’s turned me into a control freak.’

  Free was speechless. She studied her sister for signs of insincerity, but there were none. Beth truly meant it. She was still looking at the table as if she couldn’t meet Free’s eyes.

  ‘Everyone said, when Mum died, how lucky it was that you and Willow had a big sister to look after you. But I didn’t know a thing about looking after you. I tried, but I did a dismal job. I worried so much about you both – especially you, Free. But nothing I said to you seemed to stick. Fact was, you didn’t even need me – you just went off on your own trajectory, shooting like a star through the cosmos, talented and passionate and real. I just tried to keep up.’

  Beth’s cheeks were wet with tears now and Free’s own eyes filled, watching her beautiful sister with her face down, dark hair brushing the table. She had never seen Beth like this before. Free jumped up and dashed around the table to grasp her sister in a hug.

  ‘Oh God, Beth – I’m sorry! Thank you for trying to look after me. I bet I made it super hard. I didn’t know you were trying to protect me – I had no idea. I just thought you were being a pain in the arse.’

  Beth sobbed out a laugh. ‘Thanks, Free.’ She hugged her tight in return. ‘I love you so much,’ she mumbled into her sister’s hair.

  They hugged a while longer before eventually drying their eyes, then Free re-boiled the kettle for tea. Mugs in hands, sitting close on the couch, Free told the full story of Aidan Hamilton’s insinuations and the screw-up with his students’ tiles. Then Beth told her about a child with a disability who lived out at the remote Jamadji community she attended each month. Beth was so worried about the little girl, it made Free feel ashamed. She’d been self-absorbed, she realised, to assume Beth spent all her time fretting and meddling in Free’s business, when Beth had her own set of troubles and passions.

  ‘So,’ Beth ventured when their stories were told. ‘What’s happening with Finn?’

  ‘I’m not sure. I’m still really disappointed about what he did, but I’m ready to talk to him.’

  Beth was watching her with a strange expression, her eyes roaming over Free’s face.

  ‘What?’ said Free.

  ‘You’ve changed.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You. You’ve really changed. I’ve seen it coming for a while but this – this shows me how much.’ Beth inspected her for another long moment. ‘Please don’t take this the wrong way, Free, but two years ago, I wouldn’t have believed this of you. You would have been running the other way as soon as something went wrong.’ Beth must have seen Free’s face change because she grabbed her hand and squeezed it. ‘I’m sorry! But it’s true. Any time things got hard, you would run. Remember when you and Dad had that big disagreement about refugees, and you booked a flight to Cambodia and left the next day? And remember when you didn’t get into the Royal Show Art Exhibition with that painting you were really proud of? The watercolour? So you never painted in watercolours again?’

  Free had to concede these memories were accurate. She’d never thought of them this way before, but Beth’s words tickled at her conscience.

  ‘Crap, you’re right,’ she admitted. ‘I did that. I used to run.’

  ‘But look at you now. Doing this residency and living here on your own. Taking a stand against the diversion dam. The stuff with Finn – and even today’s issues with the tile project. These are some real problems, and you’re sorting shit out, facing them
head-on like a bloody warrior!’

  Beth’s pride was completely earnest and Free melted. ‘Thanks, Bethie. I’m doing my best. I want to act in a way I can be proud of – always. I won’t settle for anything less.’ She took a big sip of tea to dispel the thought of Finn, but he stayed in there.

  Her sister read her mind. ‘You’re still upset about the student who got arrested?’

  Free nodded, swallowing against the pain in her throat.

  Beth picked at the couch. ‘I wonder if . . .’

  ‘If what?’

  Beth shook her head. ‘Nothing. We should have a glass of wine. What a day you’ve had!’

  ‘Wait – what were you going to say?’ Free asked, grabbing Beth’s wrist as she went to stand.

  Beth sat back down. ‘I was just going to say, I wonder if your definition of acting in a way you can be proud of differs from Finn’s.’

  The ache inside redoubled. ‘That’s pretty obvious.’

  ‘No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, I know how much integrity means to you, but maybe Finn’s integrity is just different from yours – not less. You disagree with the way he acted, but I can’t help but think he did the only thing he could do. He’s a police officer. They stand between criminals and law-abiding citizens.’

  ‘Cam is not a criminal —’

  ‘Wait.’ Beth held up a hand. ‘I wasn’t finished. Cops take the role because they’re willing to be the person who stops someone from breaking a law, no matter what they feel. If you were dealing drugs or robbing a bank, would you want Finn to look the other way?’

  ‘Beth, it’s completely different!’

  ‘How?’

  Free opened her mouth and closed it again. She thought hard. ‘Because Cam is innocent – he must be. Finn knew how hard Cam’s mum was trying to keep him out of jail, and he grabbed him just because the poor kid was standing next to a damaged machine holding a hammer!’

  ‘And if you were innocent, and I was trying to keep you out of jail, but you were standing outside a recently robbed bank in a balaclava, holding a shotgun, would you want Finn to ignore it?’