Never Truth Amazon

by Ramsower, Jill

Family and friends began to arrive in droves as the sun set over the bay. I stayed inside, greeting each of the new guests as they entered. That was how I knew Nico hadn’t come. After an hour of receiving, I moved toward the main gathering and snagged the first cocktail I could find. It had been ages since I’d had to do so much small talk at once—probably Mom’s Christmas party if I had to guess. It always amazed me how mentally exhausting it was to plaster people with social niceties and exchange meaningless banter.

  I threw back my drink, noting I needed to have some food before I made myself sick. When I made my way to the trays of hors d’oeuvres, I found Maria standing stoically against the wall, watching the party as if she were hired security. Granted, she was gorgeous security, but security nonetheless. She had my aunt Vica’s classic beauty—strong cheekbones and full lips she accented with bright red lipstick. Her thick, dark hair and rounded curves made her look like a fifties pin-up model where I was more surfer-chic most days.

  “Having a good time, I see.” My comment was loaded with sarcasm, but that was Maria’s preferred method of communication.

  “You know I hate weddings,” she cringed.

  “I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t a wedding.”

  “Might as well be with all the white and the well wishes. It gives me the creeps.”

  I set a slice of fresh bruschetta on my plate and peered up at her. “You’re an odd individual, you know that?”

  Her lips pulled back in a wicked grin that would have given Cruella de Vil a run for her money. “You have no idea.”

  This time it was my turn to give a devious smile. “What I know might surprise you.” I didn’t wait for a response. I simply winked and wove my way back into the crowd. I had no idea why I’d hinted at what I knew. Maybe I was tired of keeping all the secrets. Our lives always felt like some kind of twisted game of who could keep the most secrets, but now, it was starting to feel empty. Pointless even. I wasn’t about to do anything rash, but I enjoyed giving her something to mull over.

  As I maneuvered through the throng of people, I sensed the heavy weight of someone’s stare following me. Pausing, I subtly scanned the room until my eyes landed on Nico standing against the far wall.

  He came.

  His sudden appearance affected me far more profoundly than I would have preferred. It was the first time I’d ever seen him in a tuxedo, and the sight had my knees feeling weak. As if he knew his effect on me, the corners of his mouth twitched up, but his gaze never wavered. Like the Pied Piper playing his hypnotic melody to lure lemmings out of the city, Nico’s presence commanded me to come closer. Without permission from me, my body obeyed his unspoken orders, and I forged a path through the sea of bodies straight to where he stood.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come,” I said quietly, my eyes still locked on his.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it, even if only to see you in this breathtaking dress. I should gut every man here for laying eyes on you.” His words were spoken in a husky tone that drew a blush to my cheeks, making me drop my gaze.

  “Last night you sounded like you wanted nothing to do with me.”

  “You must not have been listening. I told you that you were the one who had to decide if you could forgive me. I want nothing more than to get you alone and slip those delicate straps from your shoulders until you’re bare before me.” His hand came up and traced a feather-light touch down the length of my arm.

  Even if I had been able to wear a bra with my dress, it would have been no match for how painfully hard my nipples became at his words. I had to fight from arching my chest forward, begging for his touch. Wrestling for control, I took a shuddering breath and peered up at him. “And what if I can’t forgive you? What if every time I look at you, I remember all the heartbreak?”

  “Then maybe I’ll need to give you new memories—much more fulfilling, pleasurable memories—to replace the old ones.” His voice was laden with sensual promise, conjuring all sorts of delicious images in my head.

  “And what happens when you decide it’s more important to keep me safe than to keep me in your bed? Then what?” The question was barely audible in the chorus of voices filling the room, but Nico was so intently focused on me that we might as well have been alone.

  He leaned in, lowering his lips to my ear, making my heart skip and dance in my chest. “I learn from my mistakes, and letting you go was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Let me back in, and I’ll die before I leave your side.” When he pulled back, his electric blue eyes sparked with intensity.

  Emotion seized me, tightening my throat so that all I could do was nod in understanding.

  “Sofia! I’ve hardly seen you all evening. Where have you been hiding?” My cousin Giada threw her arms around me, releasing me from Nico’s thrall.

  “Hey, G! I’ve been at the front welcoming people. How have you been?”

  “I’m good, but it seems like you’re even better. Care to introduce me?” She glanced meaningfully at Nico.

  I tried to give her a gracious smile, but the attempt fell short. “Yeah, this is my old friend, Nico Conti.”

  Her mouth dropped open in exaggerated shock. “The boy you were friends with all those years ago?”

  “The one and only,” Nico said with a raised brow directed at me and a hand held out to Giada. He seemed to be implying something, but his meaning was lost on me.

  “Well, Nico, you certainly are all grown up.” Giada was by far the most forward and vivacious of us girls—me and my sisters and Giada’s two sisters, Camilla and Valentina. Our two families were close enough growing up that the six of us girls were practically siblings. Camilla and I were the same age but never grew as close as Alessia and Giada. The two of them had been best friends since the day they were born. I had made it my mission to give Giada and her big mouth a wide berth. Valentina was a surprise baby, so she was the youngest of the group and was still finishing up high school. I liked my cousins well enough, but hearing Giada openly flirt with Nico made me want to dropkick her back to Manhattan.

  Nico must have sensed my sudden agitation. He casually placed his hand on my lower back in an understated but possessive move, clearly making a statement. “Plenty of milk and good genes, I guess,” he responded politely.

  “I see,” she said with a head bob of understanding, turning back to me. “So, you looking forward to moving into your new place?”

  “I can’t wait. It’ll be my first time to have my own apartment, and I’m more than ready. What about you? What’s new in your world?”

  “My life is super boring. I’m going to have to figure out how to spice things up.” She waggled her brows at us, relieving some of the underlying tension and making me laugh.

  “Oh Lord, I don’t even want know.”

  She plastered a look of feigned offense on her face, her hand coming to her chest. “Sofia, I can’t imagine what you’re implying. You know I’m as pure and wholesome as the newly fallen snow.”

  “Riiiiight,” I teased, slowly nodding my head.

  “Actually, this is a great time to work on plans. I’ve been thinking about throwing together a girls’ weekend. Nico, you mind if I borrow her for a minute?”

  He chuckled, nodding his consent. “By all means. I don’t want to get in the way of a girls’ trip.”

  Giada grabbed my arm, waving at Nico as she tugged me along in search of Alessia. “It was great to see you!” she shot back over her shoulder.

  The rest of the night was a blur of conversation and cocktails. The one constant was the invisible thread that tethered me to Nico. I could feel it connecting us at all times—no matter how far apart we were or how engaged I was in conversation—as if his warm hand still rested at the base of my spine, reassuring me of his presence.

  When the night drew to a close with only a few stragglers left drawing out their inevitable departure, it became clear I’d missed Nico leaving. Caterers bustled through the room, picking up drink glasses and collecting table linens. My
parents attempted to convince a very drunk man and his date to call an Uber, and Alessia was on a sofa with Luca absorbed in an intimate conversation I had no desire to interrupt.

  My part was done, and I was exhausted. Slipping my heels from my aching feet, I quietly made my way upstairs. On party nights, all family rooms were closed to help keep uninvited guests from wandering to other parts of the house. My door and all the others upstairs were shut, the hall meekly illuminated by what was left of the downstairs lights.

  I opened my door, closing it again behind me, and tossed my shoes toward the closet as I made my way toward the bathroom. Just before my hand reached the light switch, I froze, recognizing the presence of someone behind me. When I spun around, I found Nico sitting in my vanity chair in the far corner of the room, ensconced in darkness.

  “What are you doing up here?” I asked breathlessly, a surge of adrenaline racing through my body.

  “Fixing things. I’ve gone around in circles trying to figure out how to make things right between us, and the only solution I can come up with is to lay it all out there.”

  “I think the truth is a good place to start.” I stepped closer and sat on the bed across from him. I wanted to show him I was ready to listen, but also because my legs began to wobble like a newborn fawn at the prospect of finally, after so many years, hearing the truth of what had happened.

  Nico took a deep breath through his nose, punctuating the heavy silence. “On my sixteenth birthday, when I got home from taking you out, your father’s underboss, Sal, and my father were waiting for me.”

  Chapter 14

  Nico

  Then

  I couldn’t keep a goofy smile from my face the entire drive home from my first real date with Sofia. I knew we were young, and most adults wouldn’t understand, but she was it for me. She was the most generous, down-to-earth girl I knew—the most beautiful, the funniest, and the smartest person I’d ever met. I couldn’t imagine how anything could ever come between us. We would share all of our firsts and grow even closer together, just as we had from the time we were little.

  I had no idea where my life would take me, but I had no doubt she would be there beside me, wherever that was. Our connection was like gravity—it simply was. You didn’t wonder if someday gravity wouldn’t be there anymore. It wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities, so it wasn’t worth thinking about.

  Sofia would always be mine, and I would forever be hers.

  Now that I had my driver’s license, we could be together like a real couple—not just texting and stolen kisses at school. I couldn’t wait to take her to the movies and Coney Island, or even just sit in my car so we could have time alone. I knew turning sixteen would be amazing, but the reality was even more invigorating than I had expected.

  Of course, we still had school, which was the only reason I drove myself back home rather than cruise the streets, enjoying my newfound freedom. My family didn’t have a garage, so I found a spot on the street large enough to parallel park and cautiously maneuvered next to the curb. I walked with a bounce in my step to the front door, which I found unlocked. Inside, my father sat on the sofa with a man I’d seen in passing but didn’t know well.

  “Nico, we was waitin’ for you,” my dad called out when I walked in.

  A sudden sense of alarm made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. When I was a boy, I’d adored my father—looked up to him in every way—however, as I matured and witnessed all the times he failed to come home or heard him explain that he’d been fired yet again, I started to realize that my dad wasn’t worthy of my respect. In fact, he was a worthless piece of shit. If my dad wanted something from me, it wasn’t going to be good.

  “Got my license today and took Sofia out for a bit,” I explained cautiously.

  My father’s friend stood and ambled closer. “You’re becoming quite the man, Nico. What do you weigh now, one eighty, one ninety?” I wasn’t sure how he knew me. He was well dressed in a long wool coat and shiny, pristine dress shoes—not the kind of person my father usually hung around. He exuded power, and I wasn’t about to piss him off.

  “Two hundred, actually.” There was no boasting or pride in my voice. If anything, I sounded wary despite my attempt at being impassive.

  “Beautiful—you’ve got the potential to be one hell of a fighter,” the man said, nodding approvingly at my father.

  They seemed to be on the same page, but I had no idea what they were talking about. “Fighter? What do you mean?”

  “This is an amazing opportunity, Nico,” my father cut in. “This will put you on the fast track to being a made man.” His eyes shone with hope and excitement, but I was stuck on the word fighter.

  “You want me to learn to fight?” I asked, my hand rubbing the back of my neck.

  “You’re old enough now to know how things work,” said my dad. “This city is run by important men, and Sal here is one of them. You won’t see his name in the papers, but he controls a fifth of the entire city.”

  “Like a politician?” I glanced at Sal and confirmed that he definitely had the look of a politician.

  “Not exactly, but close,” cut in Sal. “I’m a part of La Cosa Nostra—this thing of ours. Your father is also a part of our organization, and he thinks you would be a great asset to us.”

  Dawning realization struck me, rooting me in place. “You’re talking about the mafia, aren’t you? Like John Gotti and the Godfather?”

  Holy shit. I had a mob boss in my living room, and he wanted me to join them?

  Nausea roiled through my stomach, making saliva pool in my mouth.

  “It’s not like you see on TV.” Sal chuckled. “We keep things very quiet now. We’re businessmen, just like any other in the city. I’m in the business of making money, and I make a lot of it.” He grew more serious, giving a hint at the true gravity of our conversation.

  “What do you want me for?” I asked Sal, ignoring my father entirely. He was the one who brought this shit to our doorstep, and it was the final straw. After this little stunt, I didn’t care if I ever saw his face again.

  “We’d love to have you join our ranks. There could be a lot of money in it for you.”

  Glancing at my father, I realized Sal was speaking on behalf of him and my father. “You a member of his organization?” I asked, eyes boring into my father.

  “I am,” he responded proudly. “It wasn’t something I could talk about before, but now you’re old enough.”

  I had to fight the urge to spit in his face. The man disgusted me.

  I turned back to Sal and his proposition that I join their outfit. “And if I don’t want to?” I had to force out the words, terrified of the answer I would receive.

  Sal clasped his hands behind his back and dropped his chin to his chest. “That would be unfortunate. You see, your father here has a bit of a problem. He owes the family a good amount of money. With your help, we could even out those scales, but without it …” He looked up remorsefully at my father, then cast his eyes over to me.

  I didn’t like Sal for putting me in this position, but that was nothing compared to my feelings for my father.

  I hated him.

  I hated him more than I ever thought a person could hate another human being. And the worst part was, I somehow didn’t hate him enough to let him suffer the consequences of his own actions. I didn’t know exactly what those consequences would be, but Sal made it clear they wouldn’t be pleasant.

  I wasn’t going to tell Sal to fuck off, but that wasn’t a testament to some deep-seated love for my father. More than anything, I didn’t want to hate myself. As a kid, how do you consciously allow one of your parents to be tortured and possibly killed when you have the power to stop it? I felt weak and pathetic for caving to the pressure, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be the one who sentenced him to possible death.

  “What do you want me to do?” The words were the equivalent of my surrender, my bitter tone reflective of my disdain
for what I was being forced to concede.

  “You fight for us.”

  “Like boxing?”

  “Exactly.”

  “But I’ve never boxed before.”

  Sal smiled condescendingly. “You’re a big boy, and your father here says you’re a natural athlete.”

  My jaw began to ache from the intense pressure of my tightly clenched teeth. How was this happening? How had I gone from one of the best nights of my life to one of the worst? How long would I have to fight? Was there a particular number I needed to reach in order to absolve my father, or would I get sucked in and be forced to remain on their payroll?

  Sensing my growing doubts and indecision, Sal drew my attention back to him. “If you can’t help make back the money your father owes, we’ll have to teach him a lesson—one he may or may not walk away from. You don’t want that, do you?”

  “When do I start?” I bit out angrily.

  “Tonight,” he said with a small smile, clearly enjoying his power over me.

  I had no words to respond.

  I would be fighting tonight—for the fucking mafia. What was I supposed to do? I could see no way around it, so I numbly followed the two men out of my house and into a waiting car.

  I should have known their kind of fights wouldn’t be legitimate.

  I knew jack shit about boxing, but the crowded basement I was ushered into, full of men trading money and the acrid odor of stale beer and piss, was far from a sanctioned facility—even I knew that. My ears rang as I was pulled across the room to a far door. Between the cloud of smoke and low ceilings overhead, I felt like I was suffocating.

  Sal and two of his men led us back into a small room where a couple of fighters were getting ready. With a single flick of his wrist, the two men jumped to their feet and hurried from the room.

  “Here are some shorts. Get changed and Sammy here can wrap your hands.”

  I took the athletic shorts from him and began to undress mechanically.

  “This short notice wasn’t ideal; I’ll give you that. After tonight, we’ll begin to train you. Next time you fight, it’ll be second nature.”