Never Truth Amazon

by Ramsower, Jill

  For two days before I confronted her, I’d given her space while I came to grips with the fact that Sofia had changed as much as I had. I could have sought her out and demanded answers, but I decided to let things simmer. It also gave me time to look into her mystery classmate.

  It had purely been morbid curiosity. I’d wanted to know who it was she’d befriended in my absence. When my searches for him turned up fake names and documents, it just created more questions. I hadn’t had any proof that Michael was the connection between Sofia and the Russians, but there was no doubt after her reaction to the mention of his name.

  The innocent black and red ladybug had morphed into a beautiful black widow.

  Sofia had a darker side, and it was sexy as hell.

  For all those years, I’d made sure not to go anywhere near her like a rehabilitated addict avoiding his drug of choice. I thought I was doing what was best. Her father protected her, so my presence wasn’t necessary. Enzo kept her safe to an extent, but he didn’t know her like I did. In my absence, she’d gotten herself into trouble without anyone knowing. They weren’t able to see beneath the façade. After only a week back in her life, I’d ripped her secrets wide open.

  She was endlessly tempting as my sweet, innocent Sofia. Discovering her darker side only made her siren’s call louder. At this point in my life, being compatible with someone meek and innocent would have been a stretch. Knowing she could see me for the complex man I’d become and not run in fear made her that much more alluring.

  Sofia had a little bit of devil in her angel eyes.

  The problem was, her dark side was putting her in danger. The Russians were ruthless, and while we did business with them on occasion, we certainly weren’t allies. I could hardly stop her from selling forgeries—who was I to judge her for her crimes?—but working with the Russians was out of the question. I could just as easily find her the contacts and help broker her deals without the added danger of the bratva.

  Convincing her of that was going to be the hard part, and it didn’t take a genius to know that now wasn’t the time. I’d pushed her as far as she was willing to go for the night. Following her upstairs was only going to make things worse. We had plenty of time to work through our issues. Sofia slipped through my fingers once before, and I wasn’t about to let it happen again.

  Chapter 21

  Sofia

  Now

  “Everything’s such a disaster,” I told Michael once we were seated at the small breakfast place the next morning. “Nico and I were both keeping so many secrets; it’s no wonder things went south. Now that he’s back, everything’s coming to light, and it’s a hot mess.”

  “I always wondered why you didn’t tell him about your family if you guys were so close. I would have asked, but you never wanted to talk about him.” He looked at me sheepishly, as if I might get mad at him for admitting his thoughts.

  “I get it—it doesn’t make much sense. Nico was my happy place. It almost felt like I had two different lives—the school Sofia and the home Sofia. Put watercolor paints too close together, and they blur, becoming one. I didn’t want the purity I had with Nico to be tainted by the uglier side of my family, so I kept it all a secret. Maybe it sounds odd now, but I compartmentalized from a very young age, so it’s hard to explain.”

  “Actually, that does make sense. It was clear he meant a lot to you. You were even protective of his memory. I could see not wanting to mix the two.”

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be selfish by not talking about him. It just hurt so much.” I glanced down at my mug of steaming coffee. “He was trying to protect me by leaving me, but he did it in a way that broke my heart. He hoped if he hurt me badly enough, I wouldn’t bother fighting for him.”

  Michael’s eyes narrowed, a malicious glint hardening his gaze. It gave me a rare glimpse of the danger others must have seen when they looked at him. “What do you mean, hurt you badly enough?”

  “Not physically,” I hurried to explain. “He broke things off in a way that would hurt, hoping I wouldn’t ask questions.

  “Sof, that doesn’t make it better. I knew he left, but I didn’t realize he’d been a dick about it.”

  “He had a good reason, I promise. I just didn’t know that at the time.” It surprised me to hear myself arguing on behalf of Nico. He had hurt me tremendously, but now that I understood why, it was hard not to forgive him. Deep down, I’d always wanted to find a way to forgive what he’d done. I’d loved him too much for too long not to.

  “I’m not sure that absolves him in my book, but it’s not my call to make.” He paused momentarily as the waitress dropped off our orders. “So, why is everything a mess if he’s come back and all is forgiven?”

  His question brought back all the emotion of my argument with Nico, and my stomach balked at the sight of my food. “I’m not sure how it all happened, but he figured out I had a friend named Michael.” I peered up at him through my lashes as I toyed with the hash browns on my plate. “Not only that, but he happened to see one of my paintings at a bratva office and managed to put it all together. He confronted me about it last night. Four years we’ve been a team, you and I, and not once has anyone in my family suspected a thing. In only a week’s time, Nico tore off my mask and shook loose all my secrets.”

  “I take it that’s a problem?” he asked, confused.

  I licked my lips, unsure what to say. “Well, he apparently works for my dad now … That was part of why he left.”

  His chewing slowed as he nodded. “I suppose a Lucciano man isn’t going to want his woman to associate with the Russians.”

  It was my turn to be outraged, my gaze hardening. “It doesn’t matter what he wants. I’ll tell you now the same thing I told him last night. I’m not changing my life for him. Period. If he doesn’t like what I do and who I do it with, that’s his problem.”

  Michael smiled, but there was a sadness to it. “I appreciate you taking a stand, but I’ve always known this would be an issue someday. Our run lasted longer than I expected, actually.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Sof, between your feelings for Nico and our diverse … backgrounds, we were as unlikely a pair as Romeo and Juliet—and look what happened to them.” He smirked, unsuccessfully attempting to lighten the mood. This time, his voice softened, real emotion bleeding into his words. “It’s why I never tried to take things further between us. It was obvious your heart could never truly be mine. Plus, we would never be free to have a life together.”

  I felt like the ground had opened and I was free-falling into a black hole where nothing made any sense. “You wanted me?” I whispered in shock. “You never said … I never knew.”

  He placed his hand over mine and leaned forward. “Sofia, how could I not? You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. It was just unfortunate for me I didn’t get to you first.” His crooked smile broke my heart straight down the middle, the tattered organ resembling a chewed-up dog toy rather than my heart.

  Tears slipped from my eyes. I was the worst kind of fool. How had I not known?

  “Hey,” he called, drawing me back from my inner turmoil. “I’m responsible for myself. If being around you had been more than I could handle, I would have pulled away, okay? You didn’t hurt me. Any disappointment I might have felt was my own damn fault. I’ve known from the beginning that I never stood a chance.”

  He was trying to make me feel better, but his words just made me want to rage at myself for being such an idiot. If I’d known, maybe I would have been able to let Michael fill the emptiness Nico had left inside me. Maybe everything would have been different. All the what-ifs surfacing in my life were dizzying. I felt horrible for Michael—for what I’d put him through—by not being able to give him that part of me. But since I’d already reconnected with Nico, there was no question what my heart wanted.

  I had loved Nico since I was five years old.

  He and I were two pieces of the same
whole—no matter what had come between us.

  I loved Michael, but my feelings for him simply didn’t compare. I refused to give up his friendship, assuming he still wanted me around, but he would never be Nico. “I’m so sorry,” was all I could muster past my tear-clogged throat.

  “Don’t be sorry. I’m not. You’re my best friend and hopefully will be for a long time.”

  He squeezed my hand, drawing a small smile from me as the bell over the door to the restaurant jingled loudly. Two seconds later, our moment was interrupted by an enraged Nico towering over our booth.

  “You need to take your fucking hand off her right now,” he growled, glaring at Michael. His fists curled at his sides, making me recall his story about killing a man with his bare hands. The look in his eyes was murderous. There was no question he was still capable of such an act.

  I leaped to my feet, inserting myself between the two men. “Nico, you need to calm down,” I hissed, feeling the tension skyrocket in the small café.

  “I’m not going to sit by and watch him hurt you. I don’t know what kind of fucked-up thing is between you, but I could see whatever he said tore you apart, and I’m not okay with that. Get your stuff. We’re leaving.”

  Michael eased from the booth, not remotely intimidated by Nico. “You’re upset because you think I hurt her? Do you have any fucking idea how you destroyed her?” he bit out, his words a verbal lashing.

  “Gentlemen, you need to take this outside before I call the cops,” called out our waitress, interrupting the start of their pissing contest.

  “Nico, Michael didn’t hurt me. I was just upset. None of this is your business. You need to leave, now.” I asserted as firmly as I could, desperate to prevent a fight between the two men in my life. “I promise we can discuss it later. I won’t run. I know we need to talk, but this is not the time or place. Please.”

  My words finally penetrating, Nico’s eyes released their hold on Michael and dropped to where I stood with my hands pressed against his chest. His face was wrought with indecision, but when he glanced at the waitress holding her cell phone in her hand, he released a frustrated breath.

  “Tonight you’re staying with me—no more running—and we’re working this shit out.” His eyes demanded my compliance, which I readily gave.

  “Okay.” I nodded quickly. “I’ll be there, I promise. Now, please, let us finish breakfast before she calls the cops.”

  Nico shot one last icy glare at Michael before retreating to the door. The second he was gone, I took a deep, steadying breath, and the hum of conversations picked up around us.

  “He’s intense, that one,” Michael said humorlessly as he slid back into the booth.

  “He wasn’t always,” I replied sadly. “The years have changed him, but it happens to all of us.”

  Michael paused with his fork midair, tilting his head. “You’re still every bit as in love with him, aren’t you?”

  His observation stunned me.

  I started to respond twice before I managed to make any sound. “Yeah, I think I am.”

  He nodded with a small smile. “Then you need to give him a shot—a real one. No grudges or resentment. You need to be open with him and let him in.”

  The truth of his statement resounded in a place deep in my chest. He was right. I owed it us both to give us a second chance. To finally explore the potential of what existed between us. “I will, I promise.”

  He speared a sausage link, then winked. “Good, now eat. I’m gonna have to leave one hell of a tip, and I want my money’s worth.”

  Shaking my head, I dove into my food with a grin.

  Chapter 22

  Sofia

  Now

  I’ll pick you up from work. The text came in from Nico just after lunch, stirring a swarm of radioactive butterflies in my stomach. Excitement, anxiety, fear—nearly every emotion on the spectrum fought for dominance inside me.

  Gallery closes at seven. I offered in response.

  I know. Of course, he did. I should have expected nothing less.

  That left me with just shy of five hours to kill before we had our come-to-Jesus talk. Never in all my life had five hours lasted so long. Despite every distraction technique I tried, the minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly. Teetering on a precipice for the better part of a day was exhausting. By the time six rolled around, I was ready to get our talk over with one way or the other.

  Nico was waiting for me outside when I exited the gallery. I drew on every shred of courage and fortitude I had and walked to his car. Without a word, he opened the passenger door for me, helping me inside. Seconds later, he slid into the driver’s seat and pulled away from the curb, all in total silence.

  I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but it hadn’t been this.

  My nerves already frazzled, the quiet was more than I could bear. “So, where do you live now?” I blurted, hoping to ease the tension.

  “Not too far,” he said, never taking his eyes from the road. Clearly, Nico had no desire to start any semblance of a conversation in the car.

  Uncomfortable silence it is.

  He pulled up at a skyscraper in Lower Manhattan right on the water’s edge. A doorman helped me out of the car, then took the keys from Nico and left with the car after a quick greeting.

  “Fancy,” I murmured, taking it all in.

  He placed his hand on my lower back, directing me forward. “It has a shit ton of amenities, which means I don’t have to go anywhere if I don’t want to.”

  The lobby was beautifully designed—the term casual elegance came to mind. There was a fireplace along one wall with enormous shelves above it. Together with an assortment of seating and tables, the setup resembled a traditional living room but for dozens of people instead of just a few.

  Nico led me to an elevator where we rose to the thirtieth floor, which housed three apartments. His home was absolutely stunning. Floor-to-ceiling glass walls were the focal point of the space, overlooking an almost too-perfect view of the city. His décor was all neutral—soft tans and grays—allowing the skyline to steal the show. The sun was setting, painting the sky in warm reds and yellows. It was the perfect backdrop for the twinkling city lights starting to pop across the landscape. I was so taken by the sight that I hadn’t realized I’d been staring until Nico’s voice brought me back to the present.

  “The amenities are great, but the view is what sold me,” he said quietly beside me.

  When I glanced over at him, his eyes were fixed on me rather than the breathtaking view. I dropped my gaze, my cheeks heating at his implied compliment. “So, how is this supposed to work?” I ventured warily. “I’m not sure what to say or how to do this.”

  “First, I’d say we’re probably both hungry. How about we eat, then talk?”

  “What do you have? I can help cook, if you’d like.”

  “I have a grocery service, so I’m not sure. We’ll have to dig around and see what’s there.” He paused, then grew more serious. “I don’t have an answer for any of this either, Sofia, but I know we won’t get anywhere unless we talk. That’s all tonight is—a chance for us to catch up and figure out what we want from one another.”

  A little choked up, I simply nodded and followed him to the kitchen area. When had my Nico grown so mature? He was always observant and introspective, but after seeing bouts of his temper, I hadn’t realized just how levelheaded he still was.

  We gathered the fixings for some simple pasta with meat sauce and a salad. Nico cooked the ground beef while I washed vegetables, all with relaxing music playing in the background. Every now and then, my gaze would collide with his or we’d both reach for something at the same time, and the innocent flirtation brought me back to our high school days—the times when the charge between us was building, promising to create something beautiful.

  The food was ready too quickly, putting an end to the simplicity of the moment. We made our plates and sat at his dining table, Nico taking the head of the table so as to s
it next to me rather than across.

  I moaned with my first bite, savoring the delicious spices. “This is amazing. How did you learn to cook so well?”

  “It’s my mom’s recipe. When she moved out, I spent a lot of time with her at her new place. She taught me all my favorites, and I made sure she didn’t go back to my dad.”

  “What made her finally decide to leave?” His father was an ass, but she’d been with him for so long, I’d doubted she would ever leave.

  “She figured out I wasn’t going to school, so I told her what had happened. I told her everything. She spent the next month getting ready and never looked back. I worried she might waver. It wasn’t easy going out on her own after so long, but she was a trooper. Now, she wishes she’d walked away years earlier.”

  I nodded, taking a sip of the wine he’d brought out with our plates. “Change is hard. Even when it’s good change, it can still be scary.”

  My eyes flitted to his briefly before dropping back to my food. We spent the next few minutes eating together in silence. It wasn’t totally comfortable, but less tense than our time in the car. Eventually, we both set our forks down, and Nico rose, reaching out for my hand.

  “Let’s leave the dishes, they can wait.”

  I didn’t argue. Allowing him to help me from my seat, I placed my hand in his and followed him to the living area where he gestured for me to have a seat on the couch with him. My legs naturally angled in toward him, and he turned his body toward mine, resting his arm over the back of the sofa.

  “Sofia, you can’t keep running from me. This thing between us is still very much alive. I know you feel it too.”

  Before arriving, I had promised myself I’d give him the truth, no matter how terrifying. “I do feel it,” I confided softly. “And I want you to know that I forgive you for what happened. Now that I know your reasons, I understand why you did what you did. We were both at fault—too many secrets coming between us.”