Promise Me Forever

by Jules Bennett

  “What about tomorrow?” she whispered.

  “I don’t give a damn about tomorrow.”

  And then his lips were on hers again.

  Chapter Seven

  Roman had lost his ever loving mind, but nothing was going to pull him from this moment. Not. One. Damn. Thing.

  Denying himself another moment, hell another chance with the only woman he’d ever loved would be ridiculous. He wanted Katie and he intended on having her. If the way she gripped his shoulders and sighed against him was any indication, she wanted the hell out of him, too.

  Roman framed her face and changed the angle of the kiss as he walked her backward until they reached the wall. He wanted to completely consume her, to rip her clothes off and pick right back up where they left off. But they couldn’t just pick up from the same point when eight years had settled between them.

  Easing back, trying to catch his breath, Roman smoothed her hair away from her face. He took in her heavy lids, her swollen lips, her flushed cheeks. Unable to resist, he nipped at her bottom lip.

  “Are we making a mistake?” she murmured.

  Roman raked his thumb over her bottom lip. “The mistake would be ignoring what’s obviously going on here.”

  Katie closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. The move caused her back to arch, her breasts to rub against his chest.

  “Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.” He grazed his lips ever so lightly over hers. “It’s your call.” Back and forth he caressed her mouth. “But if I leave, we’ll both be aching.”

  “Damn you.”

  Katie tightened her hold on his shoulders and covered his mouth. She hooked one leg around his hips and Roman wasted no time in clutching that dip in her waist to lift her up. She fastened the other leg around him, locking her ankles behind his back as he continued to assault her lips. No one had ever pulled such desire out of him. Not before Katie and sure as hell not after.

  The thin material of her leotard still proved to be too much of a barrier. He wanted to rip the damn thing to shreds and get to her heated skin.

  “How the hell does this thing come off?” he growled against her lips.

  Katie smiled and unwrapped her legs from their vise-like grip. Keeping those expressive bright eyes on him, she slipped a fingertip into the shoulder of the top and eased it down. Then she did the same on the other side and shimmied the thin material down her body, taking the little shorts with it. Then she had on some nude bodysuit that flat out mocked him. He was so damn close, yet there was one more boundary that still left her with the appearance of nothing.

  “You look tense, Roman.”

  She had the audacity to smile and tip her head, propping her hands on her hips.

  He reached out, gripping the top of the…whatever the hell this thing was called, and gave a hard yank. The material split down the middle and Roman took delight in tearing it away from her body.

  Finally.

  “You owe me a new undertard.”

  “I’ll buy you whatever the hell you want, but we’ll discuss that later.”

  And then he was on her once again. As much as he wanted to take his time and explore her body, Roman didn’t want to waste another second. He needed her. The raw desire burning inside him completely took control.

  “What about your clothes?” she murmured against his lips. “I’m the only one naked.”

  “You’re a hell of a lot sexier.”

  But if the woman wanted him naked, who was he to deny her?

  He reached behind his neck and fisted a handful of his shirt. With a quick yank, he had it up and tossed to the side. Katie’s eyes raked over him as she stood completely bared to him. While he worked his jeans and boots off, he took in her luscious curves. She’d changed over the years, and at one time he hadn’t thought she could get any sexier. He’d been wrong.

  “You like what you see,” she stated with a soft laugh.

  His obvious arousal was all the answer she needed. Not that she’d actually asked a question.

  The second he’d shed the last piece of clothing, he thrust his hands through her hair and kissed her once again. But he didn’t stop at her lips. He traveled a path along her jawline, down the column of her throat, over the swell of her breasts. His hands ran over every inch he could reach without removing his lips. The need to have her this second completely consumed him.

  “Roman,” she panted, clutching fistfuls of his hair. “Please.”

  She’d always done that. Begged him when she seriously couldn’t take anymore. He’d always waited to hear those two simple words come from her lips. Finally, finally, she was going to be his once again.

  Roman tore his mouth away and glanced down to his jeans. “I need protection.”

  “I’m clean,” she told him.

  He shifted his focus back to her. “What about…”

  Biting her lower lip, she shook her head. “Pregnancy isn’t an issue.”

  “Katie—”

  “Not now. Please.”

  He hesitated for a second, but then she stepped forward and reached for him.

  Roman snagged her hand and pulled her body flush with his. Something had changed with her; her tone had steeled and her eyes had implored him. Something had hurt her and he truly didn’t think it was the miscarriage. But she’d said not now and he would hold her to that.

  The sun had all but set, leaving a pale glow from the yard light. He was thankful for the high fence giving them the utmost privacy. His phone continued to play Sinatra, but Roman tuned out everything except the woman in his arms.

  With ease, he lifted her. Those lithe legs wrapped around his waist once again. The moment her back was against the wall, he joined their bodies.

  Katie’s swift intake of breath, her sudden stillness, had him soaking in the moment. Her fingertips dug into his shoulders, with just enough of a bite to thrill him even more.

  When she tilted her hips, Roman gritted his teeth and rested his forehead against hers as he began to move. Her warm breath brushed his face, her body still fit just as perfectly as it had before.

  And all he could think was this was his wife. His. Wife. She was his and he was a damn fool for ever letting her walk away.

  Roman claimed her lips, swallowing her cry of release. Moments later his own body spiraled out of control, but he kept his mouth on hers. He wanted every bit of contact he could have for as long as she was in his arms.

  But all too soon their bodies ceased trembling. Reluctantly Roman lifted his head and stared down to Katie whose eyes were shut tight, her breathing coming out in fast pants.

  “Roman,” she began without looking at him.

  “No. Not now. Just…let’s just be.”

  Slowly, she raised her lids. Bright blue eyes captivated him, but he saw a layer of pain he wished to never see again from her.

  “We’re going to have to talk eventually.”

  He nodded. He would talk all she wanted, but not when she was naked against him, not when they were still joined, and not when his emotions were so raw he could risk getting hurt all over again if they talked now.

  So, yeah. Their little chat would have to wait. But then he was going to get the truth from her because he knew his Katie and she was hiding something.

  Chapter Eight

  Katie rested her hands on the vanity in her master bathroom. She’d escaped from the patio moments ago, needing to gather her thoughts and figure out how the hell she was supposed to face him now. He would want answers. He deserved answers.

  But how did she tell him everything? She’d hurt him once. Pulling up their past and rehashing the details of their divorce wouldn’t change anything. And despite how much she wanted to reconnect and see where this passion took them, leading him on would be a mistake.

  Her body still hummed, practically protesting her thoughts.

  “Hiding won’t change anything.”

  Katie jerked around, not at all surprised to find Roman had come upstairs. He wasn
’t one to back down from confrontation and she knew he wouldn’t let her run…not again.

  Pulling in a shaky breath, Katie turned from the sink to face him. She’d at least thought to throw on a simple sundress when she’d come up. He’d only donned his jeans, leaving them unbuttoned and having all of that glorious muscle tone on display.

  “Don’t tell me you’re sorry or that what happened was a mistake.”

  Katie nodded. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

  Not in those exact words.

  “So what has you so terrified and why did you say pregnancy wasn’t an issue?”

  Of course he’d hone in on that. She should’ve kept her mouth shut, but she’d wanted him, only him with no barrier, and she’d chose her wording wrong.

  “I’m not terrified.”

  Katie crossed the bathroom and eased by him to step into the bedroom. She looked around for something to tidy up, but the place was already clean. She crossed to the window seat and picked up a decorative pillow. Toying with the beading around the edges, she sank to the seat.

  “I won’t deny that I’m attracted to you.”

  “Well that’s at least something,” he replied. “Is that what scares you? The attraction or the fact we acted on it?”

  All of it. Every single bit of having him in her life for the next month scared the hell out of her. There was no way she could see him that much and come out of this experience unscathed.

  “I’m not looking for a relationship, Roman.”

  When he let out a bark of laughter, she turned her attention from the pillow to him.

  “We weren’t looking when we found it years ago, either.”

  Leaning back against the narrow strip of wall by the window, she lifted her knees to her chest and tossed the pillow to the other end of the seat.

  “Our lives are different now,” she argued. “Trying to see where this attraction leads wouldn’t be smart.”

  The way he stood across the room, leaning against the wall with his thumbs hooked through his loops as he stared at her was more than unnerving. He looked like a predator ready to pounce…and part of her didn’t mind that image.

  Which was a major problem. She wanted him. Damn it, she wanted him more than ever. Life wasn’t always fair, though, and she didn’t want to be that passive-aggressive woman who said one thing and meant something else.

  “Ignoring this wouldn’t be smart.” He’d said similar words only moments ago. “Do you think people get second chances, Katie? Do you think after all this time apart that we should ignore a pull this strong?”

  Steeling herself for heartache, she held his gaze without wavering. He had to know she was serious. He had to let her go again. She shouldn’t have been selfish moments ago, but she hadn’t been able to deny the need between them.

  “I think we both made lives for ourselves,” she told him, smoothing the thin material of her dress over her knees. “I think trying to rekindle anything would only end in disaster. Sex can only take us so far. We found that out once before.”

  Those dark eyes narrowed as he pushed off and started closing the distance between them. Her heart fluttered at the intensity of his gaze, at the shear male form moving toward her as if nothing else in the world mattered.

  Need intertwined with memories. The internal battle she waged with herself seemed to be growing stronger and stronger. She was confused, worried what would happen if she made her next decision based on her heart and not her head.

  “You’ve said it yourself that we’re different people,” he reminded her. “Why wouldn’t this work if we tried again? Things didn’t work years ago. We’re stronger now, Katie.”

  Pain sliced through her. There was no easy way to say this.

  “I can’t have kids,” she whispered as her throat clogged with emotions.

  Roman blinked, his lips thinning, his chest swelling as he took in a deep breath. She glanced away when his stare and the silence became too much.

  Katie blinked back her unshed tears. How many times had she cried over this? How many nights had she prayed and wished for a miracle? Part of her felt like she wasn’t adequate for a man who wanted a family. Another part felt like she’d done something wrong to cause the miscarriage and she’d missed her one and only shot at motherhood.

  “You were pregnant before,” Roman stated, his voice full of confusion.

  Katie stretched her legs out on the window seat and toyed with the edge of her dress, still unable to look him in the eye.

  “The doctor said that was a miracle.” She could still hear the specialist’s words. “He said my endometrioses was so bad, the chances of me getting pregnant again were nearly non-existent.”

  Roman’s footsteps brushed across the carpet. She didn’t look up, didn’t move as he crouched at her side and laid one hand across her thigh.

  “When did you find this out?”

  Katie swallowed and turned her attention to him. His eyes held pain, worry, compassion. He wouldn’t like her answer. He would be furious and that would be the end of him wanting to try anything with her.

  “I found out right after I miscarried,” she admitted, licking her dry lips. “I realized really quick that had been our one shot at having a baby. Once that was gone…I just couldn’t tell you. I struggled with the news myself and—”

  He released her and came back to his feet, staring down at her. “Pushing me away was your answer?”

  “We were so excited about a family.”

  Once the shock had worn off and they’d married, they’d thrown themselves into the idea of their new life. They’d been ridiculously adorable choosing names and shopping for furniture and even looking at buying a new house with more bedrooms.

  “So because you couldn’t have kids, you opted to not tell me and make me think I had done something wrong in our marriage?”

  Unable to sit still any longer, Katie came to her feet. She brushed by Roman and paced the spacious bedroom.

  “You never did anything wrong. I wanted you to be able to have the life you wanted, the life we’d discussed.”

  “That’s absurd, Katie. I wanted that life with you.” His raised voice echoed in the room. “I would’ve done anything for you. You think I only married you because of the baby? I wanted to spend my entire life with you.”

  She knew he’d loved her, but she also felt like maybe they had rushed to the alter—or the courthouse as it was—because he felt it the right thing to do.

  “You loved me that much?” She turned to face him, her heart clenching at the sight of this strong man standing before her, looking ready to break at any moment. “Had I not gotten pregnant, can you honestly say you would’ve married me?”

  The muscles in his jaw clenched, but his eyes never wavered. Silence settled so heavy between them, Katie felt the weight of every single word not spoken.

  “Katie…”

  She held up a hand. “I know, Roman. Really. We were hot for each other, the baby changed things. I loved you as much as I could then, too. It just…wasn’t meant to be for us.”

  “Because it didn’t work then, you’re ready to ignore what is working now?”

  Katie blew out a breath. “We’ve been reconnected for three days. Are you really ready to start making commitments to me?”

  “I never said anything about long-term,” he corrected. “But you’re shutting everything down before we fully explore what’s going on.”

  “Do you still want a family one day?”

  “Eventually, but I’m in no hurry.”

  Katie offered a smile. “That’s why I’m stopping this before we get started.”

  This conversation wasn’t easy, but it was a hell of a lot more difficult considering they’d just torn each others clothes off and he now stood before her half dressed.

  “I’m going to let you, then.” Roman crossed his arms over his bare chest and continued to stare at her. “If you thought that keeping infertility from me was okay and if you think we can’t try a
gain, then you’re right. There’s no relationship that’s one-sided, not even a friendship.”

  When he started to head out of the room, Katie didn’t know what to say. He was giving her what she’d asked for, yet her heart crumbled inside her chest, her gut tightened with fear. Because she knew for a fact if he walked out that door, anything they’d ever shared or any possibility of reconnecting was gone.

  “You know what’s crazy,” he murmured as he stopped at the doorway. He didn’t look at her, but he shook his head and raked a hand over the back of his neck. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done for you before. I would’ve done absolutely anything to see you happy, to make everything okay. I would’ve adopted five kids to see you smile, to make your dreams come true. I loved you that much.”

  And then he was gone.

  Chapter Nine

  Oliver and Zoe Bradley came through the studio doors and Katie had to paste on a smile like her whole world hadn’t imploded on her four days ago.

  She’d been careful not to be at the house when Roman was working and he’d been considerate enough—or pissed off enough—to be gone when she returned in the evenings.

  Their unspoken agreement was working just fine, but the guilt and the emptiness inside her was slowly crushing her soul. This isn’t how she wanted things to be, but she’d made this mess and now she had to figure out how to proceed, considering he still had three weeks of work left to do.

  Katie pasted on a smile and pushed her personal issues aside. Jasper was counting on her to teach this special class tonight.

  Jasper. Another person she’d been dodging lately.

  “Welcome,” she greeted as she crossed the floor to her guests. “You must be Dr. Oliver and Zoe. I’m Katie.”

  Zoe smiled. Her jade green eyes literally had a sparkle to them as she slid her hand through her husband’s. “This is the best surprise. I had no idea we were coming for dance lessons.”

  Oliver kissed the top of her head. “I wanted to surprise you for your birthday and I know you’ve been wanting to take lessons. I’m just glad our schedules worked out for this.”