Bonds of Need

by Lynda Aicher

  Bonds of Need

  By Lynda Aicher

  Book two of Wicked Play

  When Kendra Morgan attends a party at an exclusive sex club, she’s not driven by mere curiosity. Hoping to prove she’s put the past behind her, Kendra must instead face up to needs she’s denied for too long. Despite her lingering fears, she can’t resist the temptation to play…

  Deklan Winters has had his eye on his attractive neighbor for months, but only senses Kendra is no stranger to the BDSM scene when she walks into his club. And he can tell that’s not her only secret. What surprises him is his own overwhelming desire to give her what she craves—and to show her a side to the Dom/sub relationship she’s never known.

  With Deklan’s guidance, Kendra begins to accept her forbidden needs and to recognize the fine line between pleasure and pain. But when her former Master returns to reclaim her, it will take all her courage—and all of Deklan’s love—to defy her past.

  For more tales from The Den check out Bonds of Trust.

  85,000 words

  Dear Reader,

  It’s a known truth among the people who have to nag me to meet the deadline on these letters that I get writer’s block when I sit down to write them. I’m always excited to tell you about what’s in store for the month, but I often get stuck figuring out how to start it off. So these letters are always late (sorry, people in production!). I had particularly bad writer’s block this month, so I was especially impressed when I realized that this March, all of the authors with books releasing at Carina Press have written multiple books, and many of them have long careers in writing. How do these authors do it, writing multiple books a year, for years, creating new worlds, new characters and unique stories? It’s amazing to me, even after ten years in this industry, that there are people with this gift. And I’ll admit it, I’m a little jealous they have that gift. But I’m thrilled to introduce you to the books releasing this month from these incredible authors.

  I know it’s a little past Valentine’s Day, but it’s always time for chocolate and romance, and Christi Barth brings us both in A Fine Romance, the second contemporary romance in her Aisle Bound series. And if you missed the first book, Planning for Love, make sure to grab that as well!

  We have six! other authors joining Christi with sequels. Lynda Aicher heats up the pages with an emotionally gripping, smokin’ hot BDSM romance, Bonds of Need. Dee Carney also offers up lust and love in one package in her erotic paranormal romance sequel, Hunger Awakened.

  Veteran author Vivi Anna brings us The League of Illusion: Prophecy, a steampunk romance with an illusionist, a hunt for a missing brother, an incomplete map and a psychic! Relative newcomer Nicole Luiken follows up her debut fantasy romance, Gate to Kandrith, with the second in this duology and the conclusion to the story, Soul of Kandrith.

  R.L. Naquin offers the sequel to Monster in My Closet, her debut novel. In Pooka in My Pantry, empath Zoey Donovan is marked for pickup by Death. But when she refuses to die on schedule, she has a to-die-for reaper to deal with. And watch the battle of wills between a female gunship pilot and a combat controller hero in romantic suspense Tactical Strike by Kaylea Cross. Kaylea’s first book in this series, Deadly Descent, remains one of Carina Press readers’ favorite romantic suspenses!

  Alyssa Everett follows up her debut offering, Ruined by Rumor, with a new historical romance, though it’s not a sequel. In Lord of Secrets, he’s her new husband…and he’s strangely reluctant to consummate the marriage. What secrets are keeping them apart, and keeping him from her bed? If you like your historical romance with a paranormal twist, returning author Laura Navarre brings us Magick by Moonrise, which combines Tudor England with the Faerie kingdom of Camelot. When the two worlds collide, can a fallen angel’s passion for an innocent Faerie princess save both realms from destruction?

  Carina Press authors W. Soliman and Cindy Spencer Pape both return with installments in their ongoing series. In Lethal Business, W. Soliman brings us back to The Hunter Files with another Charlie Hunter mystery, where Charlie must answer the question: “Why kill the survivors of a sinking ship?” And Cindy Spencer Pape continues her popular steampunk romance series, The Gaslight Chronicles, with Cards & Caravans. Knight of the Round Table Connor MacKay has met his match in fortune-teller Belinda Danvers.

  Last, this month we welcome to Carina Press contemporary romance author Kate Davies with the first in her Girls Most Likely to… trilogy, Most Likely to Succeed. Though Kate is new to Carina, she and I have worked together as author/editor for years, and I’m happy to have her writing for Carina Press. I hope you enjoy Kate’s charming contemporary voice as much as I do.

  We love to hear from readers, and you can email us your thoughts, comments and questions to generalinquiries@carinapress.com. You can also interact with Carina Press staff and authors on our blog, Twitter stream and Facebook fan page.

  Happy reading!

  ~Angela James

  Executive Editor, Carina Press

  www.carinapress.com

  www.twitter.com/carinapress

  www.facebook.com/carinapress

  Dedication

  To Lori C., my email angel, who is always there to boost me up when things get rough, offer advice when I ask and give me feedback when I need it the most. I don’t know who I charmed to bring you into my life, but I am thankful every day. To Val, for your continued honesty, support and friendship. And to Rhonda Helms and Angela James, for believing in me and making this series happen.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  The bag taunted her. All glossy and black, with blood red letters embossed in an elegant script proclaiming the store name. It was a simple bag, really. A standard rectangle with rope handles in the style used by most clothing stores. Yet Kendra Morgan couldn’t stop staring at it.

  She moved to the right, edging around the end of her bed as if a different angle would change the effect. The shift in position caused the overhead light to glare against the shiny coating blurring the lettering, but the name was already imprinted in her mind.

  If she was honest, and she was trying to be that now, it wasn’t the bag itself that mocked her. No, it was the items inside that beckoned her in a silent whisper of repressed longing.

  Kendra hugged herself as she struggled against her continuous inner battle. The one that waged between the desire to wear the garments and the repulsion that came with the thought of putting them on. But there was no denying the residual excitement building within her at the thought of the night to come. Of once again being in that environment surrounded by the sounds, smells and sights of forbidden acts and deviant desires played out.

  Despite all reason and arguments against it, her body still responded. Her nipples ached for the pinch of a clamp and even now tingled with longing. It was a hunger that burned in her core and begged for release. Kendra inhaled, squeezing her eyes tight against
the visions that dropped into her mind.

  Spinning away from the damning bag and its seductive contents, she strode into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Letting the water warm, she dug through the drawers in the walk-in closet, hunting for the accessories she wanted.

  Tonight was an opportunity to prove once and for all that she didn’t want that—couldn’t want that in her life. Returning to a BDSM club was another step in her own contrived rehabilitation program. She hoped it was the right one. The thought of living with her unfulfilled desires for the rest of her life was too discouraging to contemplate.

  When she’d fled Eric eight months ago, she’d left with two bags, a prayer and a conviction that she’d never go back. It was all she’d dared to take. In truth, it was all she’d wanted. There’d been nothing in Eric’s penthouse that had meant anything to her. He’d stripped everything of importance from her long before then.

  Finding the box at the bottom of the last drawer, Kendra pulled it out and took it to the bathroom. The simple white cardboard was a standard discount jewelry box, nothing special to denote the significance of the contents. Setting it on the counter, she turned away, clenching her shaking hands in frustration.

  She could do this. She needed to do this.

  She left the room, her determination firmly in place, to make a quick check through her rented condo. First the sliding glass door at the back, showcasing the serene picture of the courtyard filled with clean, white snow in the waning light of early evening. The frosted chill reached in through the glass to brush over her cheeks and toes. She gave a tug on the handle before letting the curtain drop back and moved to the large picture window in the living room, then on to the kitchen. The front door was last. All were still locked, just like they’d been an hour ago.

  The ball of tension in her stomach eased a touch at the confirmation, the reassurance that she was still safe. The ritualistic routine had decreased in frequency since she’d moved in, but she couldn’t let it go. Not yet.

  The smooth coldness of the wood floors soaked into her bare feet, making her shiver. She wrapped her robe tighter across her chest and hurried back to the waiting shower, a quick glance passing over the broom handle in the track of the slider. It was one last validation of safety as she mounted the stairs.

  The one-bedroom unit was sparsely furnished, the owner’s leftovers making the space echo with an almost hollow feeling. As depressing as that may seem to some, it was her safe haven.

  Kendra stepped into the shower and let the hot water ease the soreness from her muscles. She twisted her head until the hard spikes of liquid kneaded every inch of her neck and back and forced an exhausted sigh from her lungs. She was so tired of looking over her shoulder. Of the constant worry that never completely left, never let her rest or relax.

  Shrugging off the lethargy, she grabbed the shampoo and began the process of preparing. The faint aroma of lilacs filled the steamy stall before it flowed away with the bubbles. A sense of calm drifted over her, and she let the scent soothe her as she grabbed the soap and razor. She lathered and shaved her skin clean of hair, a habit she’d neglected since arriving in Minneapolis. It’d been a subtle act of rebellion, even if she’d been the only one to know.

  Her palms slicked down the now-smooth skin, searching for missed spots. The patter of water hitting the floor was as lulling to her senses as the stroke of her hand over the newly exposed flesh. She trailed her fingers between her legs, touching the folds in search of stubble.

  In the past she’d always waxed, preferring a professional see to the details. She shouldn’t have even bothered with the full-body shave and had mentally fought against it for days. But she couldn’t walk into a leather club without being clean and prepared. It was too ingrained.

  She found nothing but smooth, soft skin and let her fingers roam, exploring the sensitive area with gentle grazes edged with the hard line of her nails. Desire flamed to life, igniting from the inside out, but she knew from experience it wasn’t enough.

  The frustrated moan caught in her throat and she shut off the water, cutting the shower short. The cold air attacked her wet skin, goose bumps shooting over her flesh and bringing a hard stop to her arousal. The lime green towel was small and abrasive as she dried off, but she didn’t mind. The clearance item had been purchased with her own money, which was enough to let her overlook any inadequacies it might have.

  The sudden chime of her cell phone pierced through the quiet room. Kendra jolted back, stumbling over the rug to crash into the shower door. Someday, she vowed not to do that every time her phone rang. She hurried into her bedroom, wrapping the towel around her as she snatched the ringing object off the bed. A glance at the caller ID had her breath easing from its locked space in her chest.

  She cleared her throat. “Hi, Allie.” She held the phone to her ear as the wet ends of her hair dripped cold drops of water down her chest and back. “Change your mind?”

  “Hell, no.” The sharp retort snapped through the airwaves, her friend’s voice holding the crisp conviction that flowed like the confidence she exuded. “I’m just making sure you’re still in. You seemed a little nervous on our shopping trip this morning.”

  Kendra’s gaze shot to the taunting, shiny bag on her bed. She gave a chuckle, feeling none of the reassurance she was trying to project. “I’m fine. And, yes, I’m still going. For Cali,” she clarified.

  Cali and Allie both owned condos across the courtyard in the same building unit as Kendra. All single at the time, the three women had formed a friendship over the summer that had offered her the inklings of normalcy and comfort she’d so desperately needed.

  “Yeah, right,” Allie scoffed. “And none of it’s your own curiosity. Tell yourself that if it gets you there. Me, I’m dying to see what it’s all about.” There was a brief pause. “But then, you’ve been to one before, right?”

  Kendra sank to perch on the edge of the bed, her legs suddenly unable to hold her weight. She tightened her hold on the thin phone before she answered. “Yeah, I have.”

  “I feel so naïve compared to the two of you.” Allie laughed then halted abruptly. “Crap. I’ve gotta finish getting ready. We’ll pick you up in an hour. Cali wants to be at the club before it gets too crowded.” The line went dead before Kendra could respond.

  Clicking the end button, she dropped the phone on the bed, watching it bounce once before going still. Yeah, she’d been to a BDSM club. Many times. A secret she’d only exposed as a means to comfort Cali.

  Two months ago her friend had been tormenting herself over her desires. Afraid of what others would think if they discovered she was into dominance and submission. Kendra had reassured Cali that as long as the acts were consensual, there was nothing wrong with her defined kink. It most certainly didn’t alter Kendra’s perception of her.

  Safe, sane and consensual—three words that were the slogan of the leather world. Words that had been stripped from Kendra once before but never again.

  Right. She held the power. A fact she was still rebuilding in her mind.

  She grabbed the bag off the bed, the slick coating crinkling as it banged against her leg, and returned to the bathroom.

  She quickly dried her hair. The sleek, platinum highlights had faded long ago, leaving behind the natural soft blond-brown shade that she’d forgotten existed. It didn’t look nearly as sophisticated—something her mother would cringe over. But it felt good to her. Honest. With practiced movements she twisted her straight, shoulder-length hair into a sleek knot at her nape, pulling the hair tight to her skull.

  Next was a heavy coat of eye makeup. The dark liner, thick mascara and deep blue shadow looked out of place on her face but brought out the blue of her eyes and provided a layer of distance. The splash of pale, pink gloss over her lips finished the process.

  She grabbed the lotion, dropped her towel and quickly rubbed the cream into her skin. The ingrained habit of using unscented products was something she only overrode for her shampo
o. Not that she planned on doing a Scene tonight. No, she was going to prove that she didn’t need that anymore. But even still, the thought of a cloying scent clinging to her skin was unwanted.

  Finally, she slowly took the items out of the damning bag. She systematically removed each tag from the sexy lingerie before slipping her leg into the silk of a royal-blue stocking. With each piece that went on, she slid one step further into her submissive headspace. The act of prepping herself—dressing to please another—was like a seductive mistress calling to her. Luring her back to something she couldn’t possibly want.

  She set the last two pieces on the counter and stared at herself in the mirror. The past eight months had taken a toll on her body. She was thinner than ever, her ribs showing under her bra and her hips bones cutting hard arcs toward her midriff. Eric would have been pleased.

  Choking on the thought, she made a promise to start eating better and defiantly reached for the little white box. She popped off the lid and dumped the contents into her palm. The two charms clinked together as the gentle weight hit her hand.

  Eric had insisted she only wear the jewelry he bought for her, but she’d kept these hidden. Her small rebellious side had held strong, despite his best effort to squash it.

  The shelf bra pushed her breasts up but was scooped low, leaving her nipples exposed. She reached for her nipple ring and threaded one of the weighted sun charms onto the loop. Unaccustomed to the pull and attention, the bud puckered and ached in a teasing rush of awareness. She bit her lip against the sensation that tingled and spread through her.

  She’d kept the piercings because they were hers. Something she’d done before she’d met Eric. And damn it, she wouldn’t let him take everything from her.

  Sucking in a breath, she finished the task, the second charm slipped on to the other loop as quick and efficiently as possible. The two gold and silver charms dangled enticingly from the silver rings. They hung just below the material line of her bra, popping against the stunning blue and drawing the eye to the display.