Bonds of Need

by Lynda Aicher

  Humming her consent, she leaned over to suck his other nipple into her mouth before drifting to kiss each ripple of muscle down his abdomen until her tongue could swirl around his bellybutton in sweet temptation. He tasted of clean with a hint of salt and she wanted more.

  She dropped to her knees and smoothed her palms under the back of his sweatpants to cup the firm globes of his ass. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. It didn’t matter that he was ten years older than her. He was as fit and lean as a man in his twenties.

  And he was all hers. A possessiveness she’d never felt before swamped her with the need to claim him before he got away. To mark him. She rubbed her cheek along the hardness of his erection still hidden beneath the cotton of his sweats and earned a growl of approval from above. Gripping his ass cheeks, she tugged him closer to suck hard and fierce on the skin just over his hipbone.

  He thrust against her mouth, his hips jerking in response to her actions. But he didn’t pull away or make her stop. It was another long minute, his hips rocking before she pulled back to admire her mark. She released her tight hold on his ass to trace her fingers around the already darkening red and purple bruise she’d made. God, it looked perfect.

  She tilted her head, scanning up the hard lines of his body to meet his eyes. What she saw made her whimper, but she bit her lips to keep the sound from escaping. There was so much emotion communicated in his eyes, more than she could process, or maybe it was what she was able to accept.

  His focus shifted to where her fingers circled the mark she’d made. “If I could, I’d make that permanent.” His voice mirrored the emotion she saw in his eyes.

  She sucked in a breath, wanting more than anything to keep that look forever.

  Before she could dwell on that feeling for too long, she yanked at the waist of his pants and tugged them down his legs, freeing his erection to bob heavily before her. She let him finish kicking the pant legs off his feet as she grabbed his velvety length and swirled her tongue over the heated end of his cock. The taste of his pre-come danced on her taste buds and she hummed in appreciation.

  She consumed the length of him in one long swallow, unable to go slow. His groan of approval vibrated along his shaft and rang in her ears. Her actions became almost frantic in her need to get more of him. She sucked long and hard, moving her mouth over his shaft. He was thick and long, in proportion with the rest of him, and she savored every inch.

  She cupped his balls, working them between her fingers before reaching back to rub the area behind them. He gripped her head, his knees bending as his hips jerked forward with his low moan.

  “Fuck, Kendra,” he grunted. “That feels so good.”

  She smiled around his cock, pulling back enough to lick the tip once again, collecting the new drop of come by dipping the tip of her tongue into the small hole. Pleasing him, making him feel as good as he made her feel warmed her like nothing else. She wanted this. She loved seeing his look of ecstasy, feeling his legs shake, his hands quiver and knowing it was because of her.

  “Come here,” he growled, hooking his hands under her arms and yanking her up before she could protest. The next second his mouth was on hers, a frantic mating of lips and tongues that turned her wild. She’d never, ever felt so crazed, so desperate for anything, anyone.

  He shuffled them backward until her legs hit the bed, then he pushed. She tumbled onto the mattress, the springs giving as she bounced lightly, her mouth gaping in surprise. His eyes traveled over her as she spread her arms wide, returning the appraisal.

  “You are so gorgeous,” she murmured, still in awe of his physique. She could get lost staring at him.

  In the next instant, her pants were yanked from her hips, the soft material stripped from her legs. Her back arched, her hands clenching into fists at the shock of flames that seemed to scorch her skin from the outside in.

  He stood tall and proud between her knees before he slipped his rough palms up her legs, stopping at the juncture of her thighs, his hands cradling her sex, his eyes on hers. “I want to do everything to you,” he said, his voice so low it sounded as if it was coming from somewhere deep inside of him. “Touch you, kiss you, worship you as you deserve. I fucking ache to be in you, yet I can’t stop looking.”

  He dipped his head and pushed her legs wide to swipe his tongue up her pussy. He hummed in appreciation. “Tasting.” Her abdomen was covered in soft kisses and her legs went naturally around his waist as he eased them up until they were both on the bed. He claimed her nipple with his mouth. “Sucking,” he murmured, his prize held tight between his teeth. He bit down until her nipple throbbed in that pleasure-pain state that she loved.

  “Deklan,” she cried, her hips thrusting up to ride her wet pussy down his shaft. She ground her clit into his rigid length, helpless to stop. He snagged her nipple ring, the light clank of metal against teeth giving her just a moment’s warning before he pulled back, extending the tender bud until her back arched in an attempt to ease the tension. She loved it.

  She felt wild, sexy, adored.

  His lips were back on hers, his fingers sliding over her wet sex. He groaned, and she swallowed the sound as her own burst forth when he found her heat, the hard, urgent stabs up her canal making her insane with need. He rubbed her clit in time with his thrusting fingers and she almost came that quickly.

  She wasn’t sure if she said something or if he just sensed her need, but a second later Deklan was reaching for the night stand, grabbing a condom. He sat back on his heels and tore the square with his teeth, the protection rolled on faster than she could suck in a breath. Then he was back over her, his erection prodding her entrance, his eyes holding hers.

  His breath caressed her cheeks and he tucked his arms under her until she was cradled close to him. She wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him forward. No words were said, but so much was communicated through his eyes as he entered her, his hard cock filling her. She dug her fingers in his hair and leaned up to take his mouth in hers, unable to process what she saw in his eyes. Afraid to believe, while knowing it was real.

  He tore his mouth from hers, cursing. One hard lunge had him fully within her. Her back bowed, her head falling back at the pure sensation of fulfillment. She gasped his name and cried out in pure joy. Her entire focus was on her lower body, on the way his shaft rubbed against the sensitive walls of her vagina. Of how damn good he made her feel.

  There was no grace in their movements, no choreographed anything. Kendra dug her fingers into his shoulders, her nails streaking down his back. He pumped into her, hard, firm demanding. Like him, their coupling was wild and harsh. It was exactly how she imagined it would be with him.

  Tucking his knees up, he sat back, using his strength to pull her up with him until he was resting on his heels with her riding him. The new position made it feel as if his cock was impaling her, going so deep that she sobbed with the pleasure. He plundered her breasts with his mouth, gripping her hips to guide her in a rhythm that seemed almost slow, leisurely compared to the urgency building within her.

  She cradled his head against her breast and rode him. Taking everything he offered and making her own demands. Her clit rubbed the base of his dick with each downward plunge until she whimpered, the high sound blending with his low grunts and the slap of their skin in their own erotic song.

  “Fuck, Kendra,” he swore against her neck, skimming his teeth over skin. “You’re perfect.” He managed to work a hand between them, finding her clit.

  She gasped, her nails clawing his soft flesh.

  “You’re everything to me,” he growled, biting down on the juncture of her shoulder and neck.

  The cry that left her mouth said it all. She exploded, a burst of white and yellow lights flashing behind her eyelids as every nerve in her body lit on fire. Her stomach muscles tightened and she ground against him, seeking more. He thrust one more time, hitting her clit just right to prolong her release before he roared his completion.

  She cl
ung to him, heart thundering, breath huffing as she let the world float around them. Distantly, she felt herself being lowered back to the bed, Deklan stretching out beside her, holding her tight.

  Curling against him, she drifted in a hazy cloud of contentment. “Thank you,” she mouthed against his chest, knowing he wouldn’t hear her. Knowing he wouldn’t understand how grateful she was to him for everything.

  In his arms she’d had one of the most amazing orgasms of her life. Something she’d been convinced she couldn’t have without pain, whips and bonds. But Deklan proved her wrong. She wasn’t broken. There was nothing wrong with her.

  With Deklan she was whole. He’d shown her repeatedly that she was stronger than she’d thought. He’d willingly shared his own strength until she believed in herself once again.

  For him—no, for them, she’d do what she so desperately didn’t want to do. And hope that he was still here for her when she returned.

  Then maybe, with Deklan, she’d find her home.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Deklan rolled over stretching out his arm, searching for Kendra in half-sleep. They’d spent the previous day lazing in bed, passing away the time in a bubble of sex, talk and laughter. Being with Kendra was everything he thought he’d never have.

  Love. God, he really did love her. Now more than ever.

  The high-pitched beep, beep, beep of a plow backing up jerked him completely awake with the subtlety of a cold dump of water. Groaning, he flipped to his back, rubbing his hand over his face and eyes. Where was Kendra?

  The empty space beside him was cool, letting him know she’d been out of bed for a while. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so soundly. Deklan cranked his neck looking for a clock, only to remember Jake’s spare room didn’t have one. He should get one.

  Flopping back down, he listened for the shower but heard nothing except the grind of the plow working outside. The city would be getting back to business that day. The sun had come out yesterday afternoon, starting the snowmelt and assisting with the cleanup. The spring storm might have been fierce, but it wasn’t lasting.

  He forced himself to get out of bed with one last groan as he shivered in the chill of the room before slipping on the clothes he’d borrowed from Jake. The scent of coffee made its way to him, putting a grin on his face. A quick trip to the bathroom, and he was shuffling out to find Kendra. He’d ribbed Jake more than once for the stupid smile that must cover his own face, but he couldn’t make it go away.

  Until he saw Seth sitting on the couch. He had one ankle resting on his other knee, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. Deklan’s smile flattened right along with his mood as he quickly scanned the rest of the loft.

  “Where’s Kendra?” he demanded, his anger rising as fast as the realization that she was gone.

  Seth set his mug down on the low coffee table before leveling a hard stare at Deklan. “She left.”

  “What?” Deklan searched the area again, not wanting to believe what he heard and his own eyes confirmed. “When?”

  “About two hours ago.” There was no emotion displayed on Seth’s face, but his shoulders were tense, his hands clasped tightly between his knees where his forearms rested, like he was forcing himself to stay still.

  “Fuck.” The curse rang sharp and hard from Deklan. He jerked his hands over his hair as he stumbled back against the wall, the wind sucked from his chest. She left. The words nailed him harder than the impact of a bullet. No. She couldn’t have done that. Not after yesterday. After all they’d shared and done.

  He scoured his face, his hands rubbing insistently as if he could wipe away the shock. The hurt. A second later, he sprang up, stalked toward Seth and let his frustration loose on his friend. “Why’d you let her go?”

  Seth sat back, lifting his shoulder. “It wasn’t my place to stop her.”

  “You know what happened to her, why I brought her here.”

  Seth nodded.

  “And you let her leave anyway?” A part of Deklan knew he had no right to accuse Seth of wrongdoing, but it didn’t make him stop. “What if her abuser’s waiting for her? What if he hurts her again?”

  “What if?” Seth asked so casually Deklan almost vaulted over the couch to pound the other man. “She wanted to go. She’s an adult free to make her own choices. I assumed she knew what she was doing.”

  “And what if she doesn’t?”

  Seth’s head snapped back. “Wow. So you’re saying she can’t think for herself now? Make her own choices and judgments?”

  “No,” Deklan insisted, his hands fisting on the back of the couch as he tried to corner his fragmented thoughts. “Of course she can think for herself.”

  “Oh, I get it. You trust her, but not her judgment.”

  “What? No. Fuck.” Deklan spun around and headed back to the bedroom. He didn’t need Seth’s shit. Not when Kendra could be in trouble.

  He changed into his own clothes in rushed, brisk motions. It was then that he noticed the neat pile of borrowed clothes Kendra had left on the dresser, a folded piece of paper resting on top. He’d found their own discarded clothing waiting outside Jake’s door yesterday and assumed Seth had brought them up from the Dungeon.

  Snatching the paper off the clothing, he flipped it open and read her short note. I have to go, Deklan. I’m so sorry to run out like this, but I have to do this on my own. There are things I need to finish before I can move forward with you. You showed me that yesterday. Thank you. For everything.

  The paper crumpled in his fist as understanding dawned. She was going back.

  Storming into the main room, he headed for the door, ignoring Seth’s presence. He ran a hand over his beard scruff, scratching along his jawline, hating it when it started to itch like that. His wallet went into his pocket as he grabbed his coat from the side table. She couldn’t have gotten that far ahead. Maybe he could catch her at her condo.

  “You can’t force her to stay, Deklan.”

  The low words although spoken calmly struck a sensitive cord in Deklan. “I don’t plan on forcing her to do anything.”

  “Then what are you planning to do?” Seth rose from the couch, turning to face Deklan, his arms crossed over his chest. It was still early, not even nine in the morning, which was like the ass-crack of dawn for the late hours they normally kept. But Seth was already showered, shaved and dressed in a preppy-looking black turtleneck sweater and slacks. His hair was pulled neatly into a queue at his nape, leaving Deklan to assume he had a business meeting that morning. “Charge in like her knight in shining armor demanding she let the big, brawny man save her?”

  Deklan glared at the other man. Who the fuck did Seth think he was? “I won’t let her get hurt again,” Deklan gritted out. His jaw gave that all-too-familiar twinge that precluded the ache that would soon throb in the back of his head if he didn’t loosen up. Fuck that.

  “How’re you gonna do that? You gonna put her in a bubble, stop the world from revolving?”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  Seth shrugged. “I’m just asking. People get hurt. People die. That’s life, Deklan. When are you going to learn that not everyone wants you to save them?”

  “We’re not talking about this again.” Deklan turned away. “Just drop it.”

  “No. I won’t.” Seth strode around the couch, his hands fisted at his sides matching the hard rage on his face. “You can’t save everyone. Get that? Sometimes people have to save themselves. They don’t want you to do it for them. They need to do it on their own.” His chest rose and fell in deep swells as he drilled Deklan with his conviction.

  “And if they get hurt doing it? What then, Seth? Am I supposed to just let that happen?”

  “Yes, damn it,” Seth yelled, slicing his arm through the air. “You’re not fucking Superman. Let her do what she needs to do. Trust that she can take care of herself. Trust her, Deklan.”

  “You dick.” Deklan pounced, his fist wrapping around Seth’s collar yanking him
close, his other fist raised ready to strike. “I fucking do trust her.”

  “Do you?” Seth challenged, not even flinching. “Is that why you’re so mad? Because you trust her? Or are you so damn cocky and arrogant to think she can’t do it without you?”

  Rage, fear, guilt—all of those emotions and more swirled within Deklan as the faces of over a dozen victims flashed within his mind. His hand shook as he battled against the demons of his past. Seth just stared him down, demanding Deklan face what he’d avoided for years.

  Slowly he loosened his hold and dropped his fist, spinning away from the one person brave enough to push him. Every swear word he knew flew through his mind; it didn’t matter what he was cursing at or who. They were just there battling against what was so plainly laid before him, thanks to Seth.

  “You can’t save them all,” Seth said quietly. “Let her do what she needs to do.”

  Deklan braced his hands on the wall, his head hanging to stare at the floor. “How do I do that?” he rasped. “The last person I walked away from is still hurting every day.”

  “Kendra is stronger than your mother. She needs to face this her way.”

  “And what if she goes back to that bastard? He threatened her family. What if she caves to the pressure and returns to him?”

  “Then it’s her choice. But do you honestly believe she’d do that? She was strong enough to walk away from everything once before. Would she really be so weak as to go back now?”

  Seth was talking as if he knew what was going on, like he understood Kendra’s background even though it hadn’t been shared with him.

  Deklan spun around, leveling a stony glare at Seth. “You read the file, didn’t you?”

  He didn’t even look guilty. “Yes.”

  “Why would you do that?” Deklan exploded, angered for Kendra at the invasion of her privacy. “I haven’t even read that. It was private information. Not something that concerned the club. You had no right,” he seethed. It didn’t matter that he was the one who’d had the data collected. Seth shouldn’t have been snooping when it wasn’t his business.