Dale Mettam

by The Pub at the Center of the Universe (retail) (epub)

  “I will send out our Paladins to find the cause,” said the first priest. “The core of the disturbance will be easy to locate.”

  “And,” added the second. “someone causing such acts will leave a trail that our Paladins can track with ease.”

  “I sense that this may not be a clear cut as you hope,” said the Lama.

  “Would it not be wisest to act as soon as they locate the cause of this disturbance?” asked the third priest.

  “To act without a plan, or knowing the full implications of one’s actions would be foolish and may cause greater disturbances than we hope to prevent.”

  “As you command, master,” replied the third priest, bowing his head.

  “Do not worry, my old friend,” The Lama smiled. “As our Initiates learn very early on in their training, when we find the correct question, the answer usually presents itself with ready speed. Now go, my brothers, send our Paladins to the nine corners of the universe and have them bring us the news we need.”

  The priests rose, clasped their hands before their chests, and bowed deeply before quietly shuffling out of the room.

  Once alone, the Lama reclined and considered what had happened. It worried him. He’d felt a change coming for some time, but had never been sure what that would be. Was this the change?

  The knife shuddered. It was embedded to the hilt in the wall between Lu’s arm and torso. A look of fury filled the assassin’s eyes. How could she have missed? She could take the wings off a fly at this range! She swiftly pulled another knife from her boot, rage consuming her. The one person to ever successfully take her into custody had eluded her final revenge one more time. No matter, this time she would make sure there was no room for error. Catlike she closed in on Lu, completely focused on satisfying her vengeance. Kirk watched in horror as Restive Pro reduced the distance between herself and his partner, knowing all the time that no matter how much he tired to push himself, there was no way we would cover the distance and get to them in time to save Lu.

  The voice of Pr’Cht sounded in his head. “Be warned Lu Pillah, do not face the assassin. If you confront the one known as Restive Pro on Prio, she will defeat you.”

  Lost in their own emotions, neither Restive, nor Kirk noticed a small figure emerge from the shadows of the stairwell behind the assassin.

  Suddenly, out leapt a wild-eyed little man. He was dirty and his clothes were torn and wrinkled. Kirk had seen his kind before, usually smelling of urine and cheap alcohol, arguing with a street sign and frightening passing shoppers. This was definitely the kind of person you crossed the street to avoid if you saw him heading your way. With a wild shriek, he hurled himself at Restive Pro. Too late she turned and saw her assailant, but he was on her, slashing with two small knives he clenched tightly in his fists.

  “I am the mighty Proton Bolch!” the little man raved. “The only man to confront Restive Pro and survive! I am invincible! I AM IMMORTAL!”

  With each word he hacked and slashed Pro, who tried to fend off the attacker and his blows. She staggered sideways, pushed off balance by the madman kicking, clawing, and stabbing at her.

  Kirk saw his chance and lurched towards them. Restive and Bolch teetered away from Lu, and now they were framed before a large ornate stained glass window portraying the heroic Lord High Grand Provost of Prio.

  With a determined lunge, Kirk threw himself at the battling pair. He slammed into the assassin’s back and got a sharp kick in the head from the flailing limbs of Proton Bolch. Floods of nausea swept over him as he jarred off Restive’s muscular torso and then bounced into the wall. But the force of his push was enough to force the assassin further off balance. Her legs were now moving, as if with a life of their own, while her body, top heavy with the flailing Bolch hanging around her waist, tried to keep up.

  Kirk hit the floor and looked up just in time to see Restive Pro and Proton Bolch explode through the window and disappear from sight into the treacherous swamps hundreds of yards below.

  It took Plaach and Rubik several minutes to get Lu and Kirk into a position where they could even think of going on. As things went, they could have been in a lot worse shape. Rubik was fine, as was Plaach, who they decided would be of some use now if he could support Lu. Lu looked like she’d fought the most feared assassin in the universe. And lost.

  “Cracked rib is the worst of it,” Casio reported after doing a full check of Kirk.

  “Feels like a lot more than that,” said Kirk, wincing as he stood up. “S’ what now?”

  “I believe,” came a deep rumbling voice from behind him. “You attempt to kill me.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Kirk was standing directly in front of the now open doors as Rubik edged to his left and Plaach gently supporting Lu, slowly moved in the opposite direction.

  “Was this supposed to be a surprise attack?” the Lord High Grand Provost sneered. “Were I not easily able to kill you myself, the noise you made would have been warning enough for me to summon a whole battalion of my finest Shock Troops to seize you. I am, however, impressed that you got his far, Pangaean. Your reputation is well earned.”

  “Reputation?” Kirk asked.

  The Provost smiled coyly. “Now is not the time for false modesty. You did well entering my home. I will, I’m afraid, have to ensure that you do not leave alive.”

  Kirk tensed. He could see the sword he took from the guard now laying between him and the doorway of the Throne room. He lost it when he crashed into Restive Pro and the crazy guy. If he made a run, he could pick it up on the way and hit the Provost before he could react. The plan was insane of course, but he had little idea what else to do.

  He worried about becoming more and more fatalistic. Initially he managed to convince himself that anything was possible because he was going to die anyway. Once he managed to fool his own instincts to run and hide, certain things became easier to accomplish. However, now he was really starting to think he wouldn’t survive. That he really would die. While this certainly freed him of certain immediate concerns, he could feel a definite sensation of desperation filling him.

  Plaach was close to getting Lu out of sight and behind some cover when the Provost casually lifted a long muscular arm and aimed a crossbow at him and Lu.

  “Ah, my daughter,” the Provost said with a sigh. “Such a disappointment. I am so glad your mother never lived long enough to see this. The shame.”

  “You made sure she wouldn’t see this, you bastard,” Lu spat. “You killed her.”

  “Alas, you are correct. I sometimes wonder if I should not have kept her and killed the ungrateful whelp instead.”

  A twang sounding more like an angry wasp than a deadly weapon sent a bolt hurtling towards her.

  With amazing reflexes, Plaach pulled Lu behind him as the bolt thumped him in the chest, dropping him where he stood and sending lu to the ground beneath him. Kirk looked and saw that Plaach was still breathing, but bleeding heavily.

  Suddenly, from the now open window, a small rock flew across the room and smashed the Provost in the side of the head. Rubik looked at the rock with a grim smile, and set off running at the Provost, sword raised, ready to strike.

  With no idea where the rock had come from, but sensing that the time to strike was now, Kirk set off as well, sweeping up his sword as he ran. Rubik was a good three yards ahead of him when the Provost turned and fired at the security officer’s chest.

  The bolt slammed into Rubik’s chest and sent him staggering back a step, almost falling, as the momentum he built was thrown off balance. Kirk didn’t look back, but the look of surprise on the Provost’s face confirmed that as with the P.R.P. shot, the crossbow bolt did no harm the Rubik.

  The Provost turned to face Kirk as he brought the blade of his sword up in a powerful sweep. The Provost fell back and tired to fend off the atta
ck with the short crossbow. It shattered as it blocked Kirk’s sword.

  In a swift turn, the Provost spun around and brought his thick powerful tail swinging into Kirk’s back, sending him face down, sliding across the polished floor. He slammed head first into the dais on which the throne was perched.

  As he pulled himself to his feet, his head swimming, he instinctively brought the sword up in front of him. His vision was blurred but he could now see the Provost had turned to face him. Kirk shook his head to try to clear his vision, but the violent head movements only made him feel worse.

  His hands dropped and he needed to use the point of his sword to prevent himself from falling over, chipping the point off as it hit the hard floor.

  He looked up and saw the Provost closing in.

  Suddenly, over the Provost’s shoulder, he saw Rubik leap, crossbow bolt still sticking out of his chest, and bring his sword down of the Provost’s back. The blade shattered and Rubik fell back. As he landed, the Provost swept him off his feet with his tail, slamming the security officer to the ground.

  Kirk backed away and began to mount the dais. He stumbled as he backed up the steps and fell back into the throne. As he surveyed the scene, he was sure he had a severe concussion. He was sure the rock that hit the Provost earlier just slid across the floor and became one with Rubik’s left elbow.

  “How are we doing, Cas?” Kirk asked desperately.

  “Agent Pillah is in stable condition, Plaach is in serious condition, Security Officer Rubik seems dazed, but Okay, you have a concussion and three cracked ribs, Sarge is down in minimal functions, I’ve had better days, and the Lord High Grand Provost seems pretty much immune to everything we throw at him,” the F.R.B. reported. “All things considered, we could be doing a lot better.”

  Kirk lurched sideways and clattered down the steps again, as the Provost swung a large two-handed sword he had pulled from a display down where Kirk had been sitting moments before. The throne split in two and fell apart as Kirk scrambled across the floor to Rubik.

  The Provost stood on the dais and looked down at them. Lu was trapped beneath the unconscious Plaach and Kirk and Rubik were obviously hurt. He laughed.

  “Sarge?” Kirk groaned. “Can you make a Hyper-Luminal jump?”

  “I believe so, Agent Deighton,” said the F.R.B.

  “Good. Lu, throw me Sarge.”

  The Provost laughed harder. “Do you intend to throw your toys at me now?”

  “We’re going to make a run for it?” Rubik asked in surprise.

  “We aren’t,” replied Kirk, looking pointedly at the Provost.

  “How are we going to get him to a jump chamber?” asked Rubik. “He’s beating us here. I don’t think we can herd him anywhere.”

  The Provost began striding towards Lu as she sent Sarge skidding across the floor and into Kirk’s outstretched hand.

  “I’m planning on sending him from here.” Kirk said, wincing as he pulled himself up.

  “But if you initiate a jump outside a chamber...”

  Rubik let the sentence trail off.

  “It’s the only way to stop him,” Kirk had a desperate look in his eye now worrying Rubik.

  “But there is no way you can throw Sarge at the Provost and time it so that the process starts at the right time.”

  “I guess I’ll just have to stuff it down his throat then, won’t I?”

  The Provost made it to Lu and with no effort lifted Plaach off her and dumped the unconscious body out of the way. Lu tired to scramble backwards.

  “I’ll do it,” Rubik said.

  “No, this is my job. It’s why I’m here,” Kirk said.

  “It isn’t,” said Rubik. “The idea was why you were needed. I’m here to make it happen.”

  “Now wait...”

  “No there’s a chance that I, we, can survive the blast. There is no chance you can.” Kirk glanced at the Provost, who now stood over his daughter, idly swinging the blade of his enormous sword just above her throat. Kirk turned and looked at Rubik again. The expression on the security officer’s face mirrored his own feelings. He handed Sarge to Rubik.

  “Are you OK with this, Sarge?” asked Kirk.

  “It’s my duty, sir,” replied the F.R.B. resolutely.

  Rubik stood and looked at Kirk. “You ready?” he asked, with a grim smile.

  Kirk and Rubik set off running at the Provost, who turned and braced for the tackle from Kirk, a yard ahead of Rubik. At the last moment Kirk dipped his shoulder away to the left, then back right again and crossed the path of Rubik, before diving under the swing arm of the Provost and landing on top of Lu, sending them both skidding several yards away.

  The Provost had dipped in the same direction as Kirk, and been quick enough to change his balance to dip the other way as Kirk changed direction at the last moment. But as Kirk dived, the Provost was distracted enough to miss the charge of Rubik, who jumped straight at the Provost. As Rubik landed, he seemed to smear around the provost, leaving the Prion ruler desperately fighting to extricate himself. As fast as he pulled Rubik free from his neck, he found the security officer now around his wrist. No matter where he freed himself, there were more places where Rubik was entangled.

  “Jump, NOW!” shouted Rubik.

  There was a short snap sound, then a larger pop, and Kirk felt the blast push him and Lu skidding further across the floor as he wrapped around her to shield her as best he could. As quickly as he could, he pulled himself free and looked around for Plaach, who was pushed further away by the blast as well. And then for Rubik.

  Where the Provost and Rubik previously stood there was now only a wide scorched mark on the floor and a cloudy miasma floating in the space. Kirk gave a sigh of relief. “You were a good man, Rubik,” he said.

  As he watched, he could see the smoke still failed to clear, and it appeared to be swirling. Before his eyes the smoke grew denser and more solid, until he could make out a shape. Slowly North Rubik pulled himself back into his usual blue form.

  When he finished he sank to the floor. “I wouldn’t want to do that every day,” he smiled.

  For the first time since entering the Lord High Provosts chamber’s, Kirk noticed a jump chamber sitting in the corner of the room. He turned to Rubik.

  “Come on, we have to get these two out of here as soon as possible,” he said.

  “Oh no,” Lu said, defiantly. “I do not leave my partner. Not now.”

  He looked at her and saw there was no point in arguing.

  “Rubik, you head back to Sevres Prime. Take Plaach and get him some help.”

  “What about you?”

  “We have a mission to complete,” Kirk said, looking at Lu, who nodded.

  It took them a few minutes to get Plaach into the chamber and for Rubik to get them both on their way to safety. When they were finally alone, Kirk looked at his partner.

  “You Okay?” he asked.

  She studied him for a moment, the gave a slight smile.

  “You could have blown us all to pieces with that stunt, you know?”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Lu kept watching him, then gave him a slight nod. “Let’s finish this.”

  “Which way now? Kirk asked.

  Lu pointed to a plush crimson curtain hanging across the far end of the room. “Through there would be my first guess.”

  Beyond the curtain, the room was opulent. This was obviously a room the Lord High Grand Provost used to relax in. Large cushions were scattered around and the overwhelming color scheme was gold on gold. It was a den of luxury. The only thing standing out as being wrong in the room was a small containment cube hanging in the air over in the far corner. The control panel even now sent surges of energy across the room, piercing the greenish gelatinous blob shimmering and vib
rating within the cube.

  Kirk and Lu looked for someone else.

  “Are you sure this is it?” Kirk asked.

  They both looked across at the blob again.

  “Have you ever seen a Y’lem before?” asked Kirk. “I mean in it’s natural state.”

  “I thought that pub was their natural state.”

  “Maybe it’s just another prisoner and it knows where they took the Y’lem?” said Lu.

  “Possibly,” Kirk conceded and walked over to the control panel.

  “Wait a minute,” said Lu. “What if there’s a good reason they have it in there like that? I mean, what if its dangerous?”

  Kirk looked up from trying to understand the controls. They were in an unintelligible script.

  “Look, frankly we’ve been lucky to get this far and not get killed. The chances of that thing in there being any more dangerous to our health is pretty slim. The way I see things at this moment, we should pretty much be dead, so we might was well go for it.

  He returned his attention to the controls. “Casio, can you make do anything about translating these control instructions?”

  “I’m still experiencing one or two problems there, monkey boy,” replied the F.R.B. “But I’d go with the big red one in the top left corner of the panel.”

  “Is that the button that will switch it off?” Kirk asked.

  “Are you looking for an exact translation here, or will a best guess do?”

  “Given that the fate of the universe could well depend on my next move, I’d like something more than a guess.”

  “So a guess is of no use to you then?” Casio said.

  “No.”

  “Buggered if I know then, but red pretty much means stop wherever you go in the universe, so it would be my best guess.”

  Kirk looked over at Lu. “Are you ready?”

  “No.”