Fairly Human

by Holly Fuhrmann

  She walked through the streets of Erie and tried to decide what an out-of-work fairy godmother had to offer.

  She didn't have any theatrical goals, like Blossom.

  Nor, did she have any particular cooking skills, like Fern.

  She had no desire to follow any of her godchildren's careers. She didn't want to be a writer, a psychiatrist, a lawyer, a restaurant owner, a computer geek, a ... She thought about Joy. Maybe, just maybe there was a place for an out-of-work fairy godmother. Some place where all her years of happily-ever-after experience could be put to good use. Joy ran a small nonprofit organization called Ripples. Its goal was to help people, to make small ripples in the pond of life.

  Myrtle had never been exceptionally good at small ripples, but she thought maybe she could make a splash there, if Joy would hire her.

  Full of a new sense of purpose, and not willing to waste time walking, Myrtle blinked herself over into Joy's office.

  Joy jumped, startled by her sudden appearance.

  "Myrtle, how many times have we told you, it's not polite to just appear in someone's office? You almost gave me a heart attack."

  "Sorry. I was excited and forgot. You see, I have an idea. A proposal, if you will."

  "Yes?” Joy said.

  Myrtle sat down in the chair across from Joy's and started, “You see, the trio has split up. We're all going our own way. Blossom has her acting, Fern her chefing, and me? I don't have anything..."

  She'd hoped she'd have Gordon, but that wasn't going to happen. She was just going to forget about him, she told herself sternly.

  "...and so I think Ripples would be a perfect place for an ex-fairy-godmother. If you'll have me. I understand if you don't want me. I'll go find something else."

  Joy smiled. “Of course we'd love to have you."

  As they talked about what Myrtle could do for the company, Myrtle didn't think of Gordon even once. No, it was more like a hundred times.

  Forgetting him was going to be harder than finding a job.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Opening Night for Three Sisters

  Blossom was ready to explode with excitement. She was amazed that she wasn't nervous. She felt as if she should be. But she knew the play inside and out, and then there was Rom. She couldn't help smiling.

  "A penny for your thoughts."

  She turned and saw Titania was standing in her dressing room.

  "I think I'll keep those thoughts to myself, but thanks for the offer."

  Titania laughed, a small tinkly sound that made anyone in the vicinity want to laugh as well. “Keep your thoughts then. I don't need you to tell me what they are. It's as plain as the nose on Rom's face."

  "It's that obvious?"

  "Yes. Does he feel the same?"

  Blossom shrugged. “He likes, me, and I guess that's enough for now."

  "But later?” Titania asked.

  "Later will take care of itself. Right now, I'm worried about Herbert. You took care of it?” Since she wasn't a fairy godmother anymore, she felt it best to go through Titania. As Queen of the Fairies, Titania could pretty much do whatever she wanted. Or in this case, what Blossom wanted.

  "Of course. Herbert's Stella will be here. The poor dear. She was feeling quite useless and used up, but I think I have her straightened away."

  "Good. Thanks, Titania. Herbert will be so pleased."

  "No problem. Just do good tonight."

  "I'm hoping it's a night to remember.” After the play she wanted to go out with Rom and ... Well, she didn't care what they did, as long as they did it together.

  "I'm sure it will be a most memorable night,” Titania promised in a tone that left Blossom feeling nervous.

  Titania winked out of sight a second before Herbert walked into the dressing room. “Are you ready, dear?"

  She smiled. “I think so. And what about you?"

  "Most of the residents turned out tonight, so I hope I am,” he said with a smile. “I'd hate to disappoint them."

  "Most, but not all?” Blossom pressed. She wasn't sure if he knew that Stella would be here.

  "No.” His smiled dimmed. “She wouldn't come."

  "I'm sorry.” She tried to look sorry and wondered if she was carrying it off.

  "So am I."

  "Places, places everyone,” Rom called.

  "I'd better get ready,” Herbert said as he shuffled out of the room.

  Rom pulled Blossom into his arms and placed a kiss on her head. “Break a leg. I know you're going to wow them."

  "You said I wasn't right for this part,” she reminded him.

  "I was being difficult."

  "You? Oh, no, Rom, you're never difficult."

  "Watch it,” he said as he glanced at his watch. “Gotta go. After the show I need to talk to you, okay?"

  "Good news or bad?"

  "I'm hoping you think it's good.” He looked a bit unsure.

  "Afterwards then,” Blossom said. She wanted to talk to him as well. She wanted to tell him she loved him. Oh, she didn't fool herself. He'd be difficult about it, and he'd tell her that it was too soon. But she knew her own heart and was sure. She loved Rom.

  * * * *

  "Do you think she's nervous?” Fern asked Myrtle as the lights in the theater dimmed.

  "I'm sure she's fine. She's worked hard at this. But I'm a nervous wreck. The entire Council is here, and half of Fairyland, I think. I keep having this horrible feeling that something's bound to go wrong."

  Fern nodded. “Me, too."

  She'd felt an odd sense of anxiety and anticipation all day. And it wasn't Blossom's performance that had her feeling that way. It was Nico. He'd promised to be here, but he wasn't.

  The curtain opened.

  An old man stood center stage and said, "Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace..."

  "Excuse me. Excuse me,” a voice said, tearing Fern's attention away from the stage. She was about to be annoyed until she saw it was Nico and Puffy.

  Nico sank into the seat next to her.

  "You made it,” Fern whispered.

  "Of course I did. I would have been on time, except I had to wait for Puffy.” Puffy leaned past Nico and gave her a chagrined look and a little wave.

  "Well, I'm glad you're here.

  "Shh,” Myrtle whispered.

  Nico took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Fern was content to just sit and hold his hand, as she watched the stage and waited for Blossom.

  Here was the man she'd waited for her whole life. He wanted her. She knew what that meant. And though she'd spent her godmothership warning godchildren to wait until after the wedding to make love, she knew if that's what he wanted, she wasn't sure she'd find the strength to say no.

  "What, jealous Oberon? Fairy, skip hence ... “ Blossom said. That's as far as she got because the Aaronson clan started to clap wildly. Fern and Myrtle joined in.

  "That's your sister, I take it?” Nico said, even as he joined in.

  "Yes."

  Blossom acted like a total pro. Their clapping didn't take her out of her performance.

  "...These are the forgeries of jealousy ... “ Blossom continued.

  "So after the play I want to continue our conversation,” Nico whispered in her ear. “I want you."

  "I want you, too,” Fern confessed. “But I won't ... I can't. Not until I'm married."

  "So, it's blackmail?"

  "No, it's not blackmail,” she whispered. “It's just that I've preached abstinence until marriage for centuries, and now you want me to just throw my personal beliefs over because I have the hots for you?"

  "Shh,” Myrtle said.

  "...Set your heart at rest ... “ Blossom said.

  "I want you, but I don't know that I want to be married,” Nico said.

  "Fine. I never said I wanted to marry you anyway. Most days I'm not sure I even want to work for you. You're loud, opinionated, and totally annoying."

  "Shh,” Myrtle, Puffy, and about two aisles of pat
rons all said.

  "...and for her sake I will not part with him..."

  "But you do want me,” he said, his voice full of confidence.

  "I once wanted a snake, but it bit me. If I hadn't been a fairy, I'd have died, but I got rid of the snake. Sometimes what we want isn't what's best for us."

  How did he do it? A minute ago she was feeling all warm and mushy, and now, at this minute, she'd as soon pop him one as kiss him.

  "I'm good for you,” he said.

  "Ha. You're so annoying that if I were indeed human and prone to their ailments, I'd have chronic indigestion."

  "Shh."

  "...Not for thy fairy kingdom..."

  "Fern—"

  "Shh!"

  "That's it,” Blossom cried from the stage. She waved her wand and the house lights came on.

  Fern saw that all the humans in the audience and on the stage were frozen, a gentle sleepy look on their faces.

  "Fern, just what is so important that you have to interrupt my play?” Blossom called from the stage.

  "Nico wants to have sex with me, but he doesn't want to marry me."

  "So dump him. He's a loser if he doesn't recognize just what he has with you,” she said. “But do be quiet so I can finish this."

  "See what you've done?” Fern said.

  "What I've done? If you weren't so stubborn—"

  "Me?” she cried. “Me? I'm not stubborn. You are. You don't love me enough to marry me. You just want to have sex with me."

  "I don't want to have sex with you, I want to make love with you and there's a difference."

  "It's just like a man to say that."

  "It's just like a woman to demand marriage."

  "Well, there you go. Why don't you just leave. Blossom's right, you're a commitment-phobic loser.” Fern said the words, but she knew they were a lie. She didn't want him to leave. She loved him.

  "A loser who loves you.” So saying, he kissed her. “Tell me you don't want me."

  "I can't tell you that. But I believe that sex—"

  "Making love,” he corrected.

  "Making love,” she substituted. “I believe it should be part of something special, something that will last forever."

  "So, say you'll marry me,” he said.

  "You don't want to."

  "I brought this, to ask you later,” he slipped a small pearl ring on her finger. “I planned to ask you tonight."

  "So why are we fighting?” she asked, as she admired the ring on her finger.

  "I don't know.” He laughed then. That same rich sound she'd first heard during their food fight. “You just assumed I only wanted sex, and that annoyed me, so I fought. You might not have noticed, but fighting is what I do best."

  "Really?” she asked with a grin.

  "Yeah. And do you have an answer for me?"

  "Yes."

  "So?” he pressed. “Are you going to make me beg?"

  "That was my answer. Yes."

  Living with Nico would never be easy, but living without him would be impossible.

  "Yes,” she repeated as everyone—at least all the magical folk who were still awake—started clapping.

  * * * *

  Myrtle watched Rom and Fern kiss, sealing their engagement in the most romantic way possible.

  The mortals were still frozen, but all the fairies were clapping wildly. There was a man standing next to Blossom, his arm draped possessively over her shoulder. Myrtle knew with a sudden rush of understanding that it hadn't been just the play that kept her sister here.

  Fern was getting married. Blossom had a man she obviously cared for and an occupation she was passionate about.

  And Myrtle ... ?

  She sighed.

  She had a new career with Joy's company. She would make that be enough. After all, she'd had years of experience making wishes come true. She could do wonderful things through Ripples. It would be almost as if she were still a godmother.

  Almost.

  Blossom shouted, “So, can we get back to the play?"

  Myrtle, along with the rest of the magical audience shouted, “Yes,” just as the doors of the theater opened.

  The magical half of the audience turned. The mortal half just sat there, stone silent.

  "Gordon,” she whispered. She worked her way past everyone in her row and walked up the aisle toward him.

  "What's going on?” Gordon said as he looked at the audience, half of whom did not—could not—look back.

  "Gordon?” Myrtle whispered.

  "Myrtle. I was going to sneak in and watch the play, but...” He looked at the audience again. “What's going on?"

  "Blossom froze the humans for a moment because Nico was asking Fern to marry him. They were a bit loud and interrupting the play."

  "Who is that, Myrtle?” Blossom called from the stage.

  "Gordon,” Myrtle called back.

  "What does he want?” Fern cried.

  "I don't know.” She turned back to Gordon. “What do you want?"

  "I came to watch the play and hoped to talk to you afterward ... privately."

  "He says it's private,” Myrtle called back to her sisters.

  Personally, she didn't care why he was here. He was and that was enough.

  "Oh, no. I've seen how you've looked since you went to dinner with him. He broke your heart. He doesn't get private,” Blossom called.

  "Sorry,” Fern said. “I have to agree.

  The rest of the audience murmured their agreement as well.

  Bernie stepped out of his seat. “I'm forced to agree, mortal. You hurt Myrtle. I've been thinking about turning you into a toad, but Fiona won't let me."

  "Bernie, don't you interfere. You've done enough damage,” Myrtle warned him. “I swear, if anyone's going to be a toad, it's you. So, if you want to see the birth of your daughter, you'd better sit down and stop meddling. Why, you'd think you were a godmother, the way you're always butting your nose into our business."

  "Godfather,” Bernie corrected, “And that would be a thankless job, wouldn't it?"

  "Bernie, sit down and be quiet,” Fiona said, pulling him back into his seat. “Gordon, you had something you wanted to say? You might as well just spit it out. No one is going to watch the rest of the play until you do."

  Gordon sighed.

  "You don't have to say anything,” Myrtle assured him. She wanted to take his hand, wanted to just touch him, but she didn't. She wasn't sure if that's why he was here or not. Could he really live with her being a fairy?

  "Yes, I do have to say something. And it's only right I say it in front of your friends and family. The idea of your being a fairy took a bit of getting used to. You see, there's something I should have told you. I'm not quite what I seem. Oh, I'm as unmagical as they come, fairly human. Except I'm not. My mother's a woodsprite. My father is human. I'm unmagical, but not quite mortal. Do you realize what that means? I never fit in anywhere. I thought maybe here, living as a mortal, I could make a place for myself, but I wasn't mortal. My wife, she couldn't stand knowing it. I was resolved. I'd raise Zak by myself. I'd never fit in. Then there was you. Thinking you were mortal, trying to find the courage to try a relationship again, then finding out you weren't. It took my by surprise. I came here tonight to say I want you to be a part of our life. Would you consider seeing me again, knowing what I am, and what I'll never be?"

  "I'll have to think about it,” she said, trying to look serious, even as her heart was filling to the point of exploding.

  His face fell. “I understand."

  "Okay, that's enough thinking,” she said, no longer able to contain her grin. “Yes. I'd love to see you again. Magic or not. Mortal or not. I just want you."

  Tentatively, she reached out and took his hand. This, her heart said. This is what she'd waited all those years for.

  What they had was new and fragile, but Myrtle was suddenly filled with a sense of possibility. With time and care, anything was possible.

  "So, is that
it? Everyone is settled?” Blossom called.

  "Everything,” Myrtle called back, “Except who are you hugging?"

  "This is Rom. He's half fairy, half ogre, and the man I love completely."

  Fiona stood up and said, “Man, I'm good. My first job is really three jobs, and they've all got happily-ever-afters."

  "Potential happily-ever-afters,” Myrtle corrected her, not wanting Gordon to feel pressured.

  "Nope. It's a sure thing,” Fiona said happily. “And now, let's get back to the show."

  Myrtle pulled Gordon into a seat. She didn't need Fiona's assurances. Potential was good enough for her right now. But she was pretty sure Fiona was right, that this was indeed a sure thing.

  The lights dimmed, the mortals awoke and Blossom said, ” ... If not, shun me and I will spare your haunts..."

  The play unfolded, and something in Myrtle's heart did as well.

  The feeling was big ... It was love.

  She lost herself in the wonder of the feeling as the play continued.

  ...If we shadows have offended,

  Thing but this, and all is mended—

  That you have but slumb'red here

  While these visions did appear.

  And this weak and idle theme,

  No more yielding than a dream...

  A dream, Myrtle thought watching Blossom take her bows on stage, seeing Fern and her Nico sitting side by side.

  Looking at Gordon at her side.

  A very happy dream.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The Curtain Goes Down

  Fiona cradled her little daughter, as Berrybelle herself gave the baby a blessing. “Who do you name this child's godmother?"

  "I name three."

  Bernie groaned, but Fiona ignored him and continued, “I name Myrtle, Fern and Blossom, three of Fairylands finest godmothers."

  She passed the baby to Myrtle who kissed her and said, “To you I give the blessing of heart. If you follow where it leads, you'll never go astray."

  Myrtle looked at Gordon and Zak and knew that she gave baby Rose the greatest of all blessings. She'd found magic with a man who claimed to have no magic. She'd found her heart with him, and following it had brought her such great happiness. Married to a non-magic fairy. It shouldn't be, but it was magic. The biggest magic she'd ever experienced.

  Being a stepmother to Zak, working for Ripples. Myrtle had never been so happy. Tears filled her eyes as she passed the baby to Fern.