GW10 Samurai Game

by Christine Feehan

  A small smile escaped. “I am not arguing that fact, Sam. I’m merely trying to get you to see the big picture before you leap with both feet and your eyes closed.”

  “Are you saying he gave you cancer?”

  “You know what I’m saying. Nanotechnology doesn’t defy the principles of physics. The possibility of moving or maneuvering something atom by atom in theory can be done. Just as teleportation is not against the laws of physics. Already, nanosystems are being developed with thousands of interactive components, and Whitney is going a step further, developing integrated systems functioning like our own cells with systems inside systems.”

  “Are you saying he found a way to construct a heart using carbon nanotube scaffolding?” Sam tried not to sound excited, but who wouldn’t be? “That’s impossible. Bone reconstruction is barely beginning and bones are linear. Carbon nanotubes are one-dimensional. No one has figured out how to shape them.” His gaze locked with hers. “Have they?”

  She didn’t answer and his mind was racing with the possibilities. He shook his head, wondering aloud. “One would have to solve toxicity and rejection problems. They’d have to grow the cellular and noncellular components outside the body before replacing the damaged heart with a fully functioning nano heart. How the hell could they do that before transplanting it?” He caught her arms. “It would be a miracle, Azami. It can’t be possible. How the hell would Whitney manage to construct a heart from carbon nanotubes?”

  “A heart would only have to function like a human heart, not necessarily be shaped like an organic one,” Azami pointed out.

  “No, but the heart still has to perform the same function as a human heart,” Sam argued. “It still has to beat in a cardiac cycle, which puts constraints on the shape. Right now scientists are just beginning to think in terms of using carbon nanotubes for bones because they can’t shape them. A heart can’t be linear.”

  “No, even a nano heart would have to go through a pumping cycle that alternates between bringing in the deoxygenated blood and pumping the newly oxygenated blood out to the rest of the body,” she agreed.

  “Exactly.” Sam watched her closely. She was telling him she had a nano heart and his mind couldn’t wrap around the possibility. “That particular aspect of the heart’s functioning can’t really be changed, as the entire rest of the body is set up around it.” But it was possible. Every scientist working with nanotechnology had specific goals in mind, and replacing a damaged heart was on the list. No one could figure out how to shape the carbon nanotubes. The heart would be far stronger if all problems surrounding the growth and transplant could be solved. Whitney had experimented on little Thorn for years. He would have access to cells and anything else he would want or need from her body. But was it possible he’d done what others were just imagining?

  “If he managed to give you a nano heart, Azami, the world would … ”

  “No one else survived. And the world would treat me just as he treated me. I’d be a freak and an experiment.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back, her eyes dark with pain. “I have no idea how long the heart will last. I can’t go to a mainstream doctor, not for any reason. What would people call me? Some would go so far as to say I’m not human.”

  Sam stepped close to her, covering that small distance with one easy step. He caught the nape of her neck and pressed his forehead against hers. “Listen to me, Azami. Whatever you are, wherever you are, that’s where I want to be. People don’t get chances like this often. I’m no kid, and I never expected to find a woman I would cherish.” He straightened, dropped his hands, and paced away from her and then back to stand in front of her. “I don’t need much, Azami. I built this house because I wanted a home. It didn’t feel like one until you were in it. I want your body just the way it is. And as for your heart, as long as it’s beating, I swear you could have a cyborg’s heart and I’d be happy. Stay with me. The hell with Whitney or anyone else who wants to step on our happiness. When those doors close, it’s just you and me. No one else.”

  Sam took both of her hands and pulled them to his chest, holding them tight against him. “I can make you happy. I know I can. Whatever it takes. Whatever you need. Give yourself to me, all of you. Thorn, Azami, good and bad, let me have you.”

  “Sammy.” She whispered his name in the stillness of the night. Azami’s heart twisted inside her chest. The mutant organ might not be all human, but it didn’t stop her from falling in love with this man. How could she not? “Are you so certain that you really want me? Have you considered that if he gave me such a heart and the DNA of an animal, that any child we have might be … different?”

  Sam studied her face. There it was. Her real fear. The number one fear. She’d let him see the truth of her and now she’d just exposed the one thing that made her most vulnerable. This was the reason she thought her father didn’t feel she was fit to become a wife. Not the scars. Not the white hair. A child. Her child. Their child.

  “Damn it all to hell, Azami,” he said, between his teeth. “Don’t you ever fucking protect me like this again. Hell, woman, I could have had a heart attack at the thought of you leaving me.”

  And wasn’t she good to keep it all out of her mind, hiding her true fear from him, masking it with red herrings. She did feel vulnerable. She did feel all those things she’d told him, but combined, they weren’t enough to send her running, especially when he was making love to her without protection. He hadn’t even considered protection. He planned to marry her as soon as it was possible and having children was part of the program. But he hadn’t asked. He hadn’t discussed it with her.

  Azami moistened her lips, her gaze still locked with his. “You’re angry now.”

  “Damn right, I am. At you. At me for being so dense that I didn’t even discuss children or protection with you.” He shoved a hand through his hair and regarded her flushed face. “Why would you think you couldn’t have a child?”

  She took a breath and let it out. “Whitney said I was useless, a throwaway. What does he want most, Sam? Children. Superbabies. He conducted all sorts of experiments on me and then he threw me away. Doesn’t it stand to reason that he believes I either can’t have a child or that it would be defective?”

  Sam opened his mouth to protest but snapped it closed before anything could escape. This was a big deal to her. A huge deal. Whitney had colored her entire image of herself. He’d parented her in her formative years, those vital years, and he’d treated her as if she wasn’t human. He took away her self-esteem, her worth as a human being. To a woman, at least to Azami, having a child obviously meant something important.

  He took a deep breath, let it out, and pushed away the rage that churned in his gut. Fury at Whitney, that monster who would dehumanize a child so he could use her for experiments, and even more at himself for pushing her so fast because she’d turned his body into a fucking walking hard-on. What he needed to do was defuse the situation and let both of them calm down a little bit and think things through. To Azami, the subject was obviously very emotional and frightening as well as being significant to her. He was sexually frustrated as well as feeling like a complete selfish idiot.

  “Let’s discuss this over tea. I’m not going to be great at it, but you can teach me. I’d like to learn how to properly prepare you a good cup of tea. You drank the tea in the war room, but you didn’t enjoy it. This is an important issue to you, Azami. We need to get it hashed out. Let’s do it over a cup of tea.”

  “It would be your baby too,” she declared. “It should be an important issue to you as well. You’re so willing to be with me and you don’t fully know all the risks.” She ducked her head. “I should have disclosed everything right away, as soon as I knew you were serious.”

  He had said the right thing. The tension drained from her face, and her desperate, vulnerable expression was gone. She had a point. A baby would be his. His child. He had just assumed it wouldn’t matter to her about children, because, although he wa
nted some, she would always be his first priority. If she couldn’t have them, or didn’t want them, so be it. He turned to lead her out of the room where their combined scents with the oil weren’t so potent. He needed a little relief himself.

  He didn’t want to enjoy the fact that she was there with him, a soft whisper of silk moving through the house he’d built with his own two hands, but he couldn’t deny that just knowing she was with him, arguing or not, gave him great pleasure. He felt her fingers push into the back pocket of his jeans as she followed him down the hall to the spacious kitchen. He didn’t turn around, but his gut settled a little. At least she still wanted that physical connection between them. She hadn’t entirely abandoned the idea that they would spend their lives together.

  Once in the kitchen, he filled the kettle and set it to heat on the stove before turning to face her. “I don’t have the best tea, just some teabags. I don’t drink it that often.” As in never, but once in a while Ryland and Lily came to visit and he liked to have tea for Lily.

  “I brought tea with me,” she confessed. “I always bring tea with me wherever I go.” She disappeared into the large living room where she’d left a small bag with her things in it.

  He loved the sight and scent of her moving around his house. He did have a terrible urge to take those pins from her hair and let it fall around her face naturally, push the shirt from her shoulders, and just put her up on the kitchen table. Dessert would be especially nice.

  Sammy!

  He laughed, joy flooding him. She was calling him Sammy. That was something. And she sounded as if she was laughing rather than being angry. He’d been broadcasting a little too loud there. At least she couldn’t have any doubts that he found her attractive.

  “I like that you came prepared,” he said as she entered the kitchen. “I’m sorry I didn’t think about protection, Azami. I should have.”

  Her lashes fluttered. Damn. He loved her lashes, and just that little movement sent heat spiraling through his body. It didn’t take much to get him going around her.

  “Teach me to make the tea the way you like it.”

  She smiled. “It isn’t about liking the tea, Sam. It is about the preparation. One pours oneself into the tea. You make the bowl of tea from your heart. Each movement is defined, and even the setting of the table is about the one you’re making the tea for. You must give the preparation your complete attention.”

  “Show me.” He moved up behind her as she went to the counter, choosing to be just a little closer than necessary, crowding her body just a bit until he felt every breath she took. He lowered his voice and put his lips next to her ear. “Show me how you give the tea preparation your complete attention. What would you do if you were making tea for me?”

  “Tea for you, at home, when we are alone, is a private tea. I have only a few things with me to make our tea special, but it will be made with all my heart.”

  She looked over her shoulder, the shoulder he was leaning over, to look up at him from beneath her long lashes. His heart—and body—reacted instantly. Electricity crackled between them, little sparks leaping from his skin to hers and back.

  “I have given you my heart, Sammy. I don’t know about the rest of me, we must talk first, but my heart you have, such as it is. This is my mistake, not yours. I’m pleased you want me so much. It makes me feel … beautiful. I’ve never felt beautiful before. It is a great gift you’ve given me.”

  Her lips were a mere inch from his and he’d be a fool if he ignored that temptation. No one had ever called him a fool. He caught the back of her head in the palm of his hand and lowered his mouth that scant inch to kiss her. She tasted like heaven. His shirt on her was long enough to go down to her knees, adequately covering her, but she wore nothing under it and he was familiar with her body now. He’d tasted nearly every inch of her.

  Sam kissed her over and over, losing himself in her, indulging his need, afraid he might never get the chance again to persuade her to stay with him. He wanted her—no, needed her. He’d been perfectly content until they’d shared a mind connection, until she had poured herself into him. She was samurai through and through. Until the doors were closed and they were alone and then she was all woman—his woman.

  When he lifted his head, her eyes had gone liquid. She smiled at him that little mysterious smile that made his stomach do a slow flip.

  “Go sit down, Sam, and let me do this. I will show you another time, when I have all my things with me.”

  He liked the idea that there would be another time, so he didn’t argue. Toeing around a chair from the table, he straddled it and rested his chin on his hands on the back of the chair, watching her intently.

  She placed a wooden box on the table with a small bow and opened it quite reverently. Inside the box were tea utensils mostly made of ceramic or bamboo. He could tell the instruments were quite old and beautiful. Every movement was precise and graceful as she rinsed and laid utensils onto a small ornate tray Lily had given him when his house had been completed. He liked watching her graceful movements. She was naturally restful to be around, but he knew from experience, many warriors often were still and quiet but extremely capable of exploding into action.

  She rinsed the two tea bowls with equal care, the flowing motion of her hands mesmerizing. Powdered green tea was placed in each of the bowls with a bamboo dipper. She poured the water from the kettle and proceeded to whip the tea with a bamboo whisk until it appeared slightly frothy. Very gently she placed the bowl in front of him and added two sweets on a small ceramic dish.

  She bowed slightly as she placed the dish beside him. “The tea is bitter and the sweets will balance the taste.”

  “The bowls are beautiful.”

  “They belonged to my father’s father. This is his traveling set. It’s very old and I always try to give it honor, even when I don’t have all the correct equipment.”

  “You’ll have to tell me what we need,” Sam said, making it casual. There was no harm in believing she would be spending her life with him.

  Her gaze jumped to his face. “There are many complications, Sam. More than just whether or not we can have a child and whether or not it would be normal. You know it’s true. What of my brothers? Who will protect them? That duty lies with me.”

  Sam bought some time by drinking the tea. He’d been in Japan many times and was used to the bitter green tea. He found solace in the ceremony itself and the graceful, fluid motion of hands while preparing the beverage.

  “Your brothers both approved of our match. This has nothing to do with them. We can build a lab for them here, or extend Lily’s laboratory. You can fly with them when they travel. You know this isn’t about your brothers. This is about our child and your heart.”

  “And the strain of animal DNA Whitney gave me. My brothers have run extensive tests for me. I have a healthy dose of cat in me, which is what allows me to run faster, leap, and land so easily. That’s separate from teleportation, Sam. He never knew about that.”

  “Hmm,” he murmured, noting her distress level was rising again. “I have that same strain in me. He used that on several of the GhostWalkers, Azami. He believed it would allow us to be better soldiers.”

  “So what would that do to a child?”

  “You’ve seen Daniel. Daniel’s probably a good part of the reason you agreed to come here in the first place,” Sam guessed.

  “But not because I considered having a child. I wanted to make certain his mother wasn’t like his grandfather. If she’d been experimenting on him and all of you knew it … ” She left the sentence hanging.

  He studied her face, the absolute serenity there. “You and your brothers came prepared to wipe us out and take the boy.”

  “If need be. He is never going to live the childhood I did.”

  “At least there, we’re all on the same page. Daniel is well loved and looked after. Every man and woman in this compound and the one next to ours would protect him with their life.”

>   She nodded in agreement. “And Lily is a very good mother. She is a great scientist, but she respects life.”

  Sam leaned back, his hand curling around the back of his chair until his knuckles were nearly white. “Do you want children, Azami?”

  She paled a little. He felt like he might have just delivered a punch to her gut. All the air seemed to rush from her lungs and she looked vulnerable, so much so that he had to fight the desire to kick the chair aside and pull her into his arms. He wasn’t nearly as civilized as she was.

  “I never thought it was a possibility, Sam,” she answered, her voice very low. She sipped at her tea, taking her time. “I never thought I would find a man I could respect and love, let alone that he would find me attractive. There was never a question about children. And then I met you … and Daniel.” She ducked her head. “He’s so amazing, isn’t he? I rocked him back to sleep the other night.”

  Her voice had gone all soft and dreamy. He could picture her with their child nestled in her arms. She’d make a fierce, protective mother.

  “Do you believe your heart could stand up to carrying a baby, because I’d do it for you, honey, but I’m just not built right.” He meant it too. If she wanted a child, he’d move heaven and earth for her to have her wish.

  “I have no idea. I would think so. It stands up to me teleporting, so I can’t see that it would give out just because I’m carrying a baby, but what with both of us having a strain of cat DNA and both able to teleport, we could be in real trouble.”

  “Jack Norton has twins, Azami, beautiful babies, and he’s got the same strain of cat DNA. Whitney seemed very fond of large cats.”

  “I tried to find out if Lily was working on the effects on our children,” Azami admitted, “but she’s very careful with that research if she is.”

  “Anything to do with Daniel, or any of the babies, she would be extra careful of.” She kept that research locked up and out of a computer Whitney might find a way to hack, but there was no reason to disclose that to Azami. Not yet. She was either with them—one of them—or she was walking away.