Vengeance 02 - Trust In Me

by Lana Williams

  As though he’d read her mind, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed and joined her there.

  The weight of his body on hers pleased her. He felt so good, so right. Her hands ventured to his shoulders, amazed at the strength of him. His arms could easily crush her, yet they now held her with such gentleness. Bolder, she explored his well-defined chest through his tunic, the soft fabric making the firmness beneath all the more tantalizing.

  “I would please you, Elizabeth. For this one moment, we’ll set aside our differences. I would make up for the interruption of the day at the cottage. Will you let me?”

  She drew in her breath, scared to believe him. Could she open herself to him? Risk her heart again?

  His hardness pressed against her thigh, obvious even through their layers of clothing. Her heart sped up its frantic rhythm.

  Though she didn’t know what could come of their marriage and all the complications surrounding their relationship, she knew she wanted Nicholas. For this one enchanted afternoon, she wanted him in every way possible. Regardless of his previous rejection of her or what might come in the future, she loved him, body and soul.

  Perhaps he felt something for her as well – despite his gruff exterior that hid the softness of his essence. His kind acts toward others, including her, revealed his true nature. He was a man of honor who kept his word, who protected those in need. He had extra bread baked for her, he gave young boys badges to reward them, and he allowed old servants to keep their pride and still serve a purpose.

  She could see through his oftentimes harsh behavior to the real man underneath. Why he chose to hide his true self, she couldn’t guess. Nor could she guess what he meant about being different. She could only hope that one day she could earn his trust so he would tell her.

  “Aye, please.” She smiled up at him, at peace with her decision.

  He threw the heavy fur that had served to separate them during the night to the floor as though glad to be rid of it. Then, he moved to her side, and before she could miss the warm, heavy weight of him, he began to caress her every curve, his hands molding her kirtle to her. A moan rose in her throat, and she gave voice to it. His lips moved to her neck, kissing, licking and nipping, until she stirred restlessly beneath him.

  “Elizabeth, you are exquisite.”

  His words fueled her desire. She throbbed everywhere he touched. “As are you.”

  His surprised chuckle made her smile. He looked at her with wonder, his gaze lingering on each feature, heating her further without touching her.

  With slow, careful movements, he unplaited her hair, threading his fingers through her tresses, his light touch nearly as intoxicating as his kisses. Those clever fingers found the laces of her kirtle and pulled them free. The garment opened to his searching hand and revealed her linen shift. He eased both down her shoulders and rained kisses on her skin as he explored her.

  She decided to do the same and found the bottom of his tunic to raise it up, running her fingers across the flatness of his stomach to the smooth skin of his back, then on to the sculpted muscles of his chest. Those muscles flexed as she caressed him, his nipples pebble hard. She wanted to see what felt so intriguing beneath her fingers. She pulled his tunic higher, and he rose up to kneel before her and help her remove it.

  As it passed over his head, he hesitated, uncertainty evident on his face. “Elizabeth,” he began. “I should tell you...”

  “Nay.” She didn’t know what he intended to say, but she truly didn’t care. Nothing would ruin this moment, not this time, not when she was finally in his arms again. Their problems would have to be sorted out later. “Let us forget about the past and the future and focus only on this moment.”

  The time was hers, and she would not stop now. This man was her husband, and she loved him.

  Her gaze holding his, she took his hand and drew him down to her. She pressed kisses to the broad expanse of his chest, breathing in the clean scent of him. She felt his breath catch and his muscles quiver as she moved her hands over him. She took pleasure in her new-found feminine power, testing it as she explored his heated skin.

  “Elizabeth.” He said her name again with desire this time. He reached out to touch her cheek before teasing the sensitive skin of her neck, then moved lower still to linger at the hidden curves of her breasts.

  She held her breath as his fingers played against her skin, her breasts tingling with anticipation. At last, he grazed her nipple, and she gasped with pleasure at the sensation. Desire shot through her body and pulsed deep within her.

  He gently pulled down the top of her shift further to reveal her breasts to his heated gaze. “You are more beautiful than I could possibly have imagined.”

  She smiled, pleased at his compliment. Then all thoughts left her as his rough fingers alternated with his calloused palm to perform an intricate dance on each breast.

  He kissed her shoulder, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he moved lower. His mouth was so hot. She arched back and tangled her fingers in his hair as he gave each breast equal amounts of attention. A growing ache filled her. “Nicholas, please.”

  “Aye,” he murmured against her breast. “Please.”

  The sight of him kissing her so intimately nearly matched the pleasure of his mouth on her. When she was certain she could bear it no longer, he moved back up, the smooth skin of his chest grazing hers, adding another layer of sensation to her heated flesh. She shifted against him, eager to explore the feeling.

  His hand stroked her upper thigh, and she caught her breath. His fingers caressed and kneaded her skin. Her legs tightened in response, and his fingers paused.

  “Let me please you,” he murmured against her throat. He took her mouth with his as he explored her intimately.

  She gasped, amazed at how he made her feel. The throbbing in her body kept beat with his touch until she felt she would burst with pleasure.

  “Aye, Elizabeth,” he murmured.

  But still she knew there was more. A fulfillment of this aching need that consumed her. “Nicholas?”

  He moved away for a moment, but only to help her remove her clothing, layer by layer. His gaze took in every part of her, his appreciation visible on his face. Then, he removed his chausses and his manhood sprung free.

  “Oh, my,” Elizabeth whispered as she trailed one finger along the shaft, amazed at the feel of it.

  Nicholas moaned and so she wrapped her hand around him and slowed her exploration.

  “No more.” Nicholas grasped her hand and held it against his chest. “Your touch undoes me.” He kissed her fingers and drew a deep breath before lying beside her once again.

  He kissed her face and lips before nuzzling the curve of her neck. Her desire for him took on a new, softer hue, and her heart swelled with love.

  “Your skin is so soft,” he murmured. “Nearly as soft as your hair.” He ran his fingers along her thick locks, over one breast, down to her stomach to swirl across her belly, then even lower.

  Desire sharpened ten-fold as waves of sensation shot to her toes. Yet when he eased between her thighs, panic took hold. Though she had a basic idea of what would happen, she hadn’t expected to be so overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through her. It seemed he knew her form better than she.

  Nicholas groaned as she shifted beneath him. It took all his control to tamp down the urge to take her quickly.

  He pressed against her heat and eased forward, breathing slowly to keep his desire under control.

  As she released a moan, he made her his. He clenched his teeth and stopped to give her a few moments to adjust to the feel of him. His body shuddered with the effort, wanting nothing more than to continue this sweet torture.

  She wound her arms around his neck to pull his head down for another heated kiss, teasing him with her tongue. All thoughts left his mind when she tilted her hips toward him. The sensation was more than he could bear. His body took over, continuing their intimate dance until he knew she neared th
e edge. He reached down to caress her, wanted nothing more than to feel her tighten around him in release.

  He was rewarded when he felt her first shudder and held back his own release until he could stand it no more. For a moment, he feared he didn’t have the will to do what he needed to. But at last, his body obeyed his mind’s command. Anger and regret filled him as he withdrew from her to spill his seed into the linens, the pleasure of his release dimmed.

  Several moments passed before he could think coherently. Slowly, he lifted the weight of his body onto his elbows, not wanting to crush Elizabeth, surprised at how weak he felt.

  “Nicholas?”

  He raised his head to look at her, her frown at odds with the warmth of her brown eyes, her face flushed with the aftermath of pleasure. His gaze was drawn once again to her lips, and he leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

  “Why did you – ”

  He put his finger over her lips. “Shhh. We will speak later.” He needed to clear his head, to gather his thoughts before they discussed anything. This feeling of vulnerability tempted him to tell her everything and hope she understood.

  He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t explain his second sight and watch fear creep into those warm brown eyes, watch revulsion take over her expression.

  Instead, he shifted to her side and drew her warm body into his arms, trying to determine how what he’d sworn to both her and himself would never happen, had.

  Her long, brown hair splayed across his chest. He wound the soft silk around his fingers, fearing she’d also wound herself around his heart. His desire for her had been so strong, he’d lost all thoughts except giving her pleasure and easing the ache that had plagued him since he’d first met her.

  But now, that ache seemed to have moved into his chest. He rubbed the spot, hoping it would go away.

  Lying there with her warm, soft body in his arms, he let go of his worries for the time being and relaxed. Elizabeth curled next to him, her head resting on his shoulder. His mind quieted, his thoughts stilled.

  William had awakened.

  His wife lay in his arms.

  Life was nearly perfect.

  He wouldn’t let that one word, ‘nearly’, stop him from enjoying the moment.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Nicholas?” Elizabeth had laid there as long as she could, but couldn’t find the peace Nicholas obviously had.

  The light of day had faded, leaving the chamber awash in warm gold. Not so her heart. Nicholas’s action felt like a betrayal, had turned their love making into something less.

  How could the afternoon have come so close to her dreams, only to fly completely off target like an archer’s arrow gone awry?

  Why had he chosen to pull away from her at the end of their lovemaking? Did he think her less than worthy? What had he meant when he’d told her that he wasn’t who she thought he was?

  The questions rolled about in her mind as Nicholas slept, but for the life of her, she could find no valid reason for any of it.

  Nay. That was not true. There was only one reason – he did not want to have a child with her. She might have been inexperienced with the details of what happened between a man and a woman, but she knew well enough what was needed to procreate.

  She sat up so she could better see his face. In slumber, he seemed so relaxed, so content. More content than she’d ever seen him. Though loathe to disturb him, she had to have some answers.

  “Nicholas?”

  He frowned, his eyes still closed, and pulled her closer.

  The simple action squeezed her heart. Surely it meant that he cared for her on a deeper level. Or did he just want the warmth of her body nearer to his?

  Annoyed at the thought, she tried again. “Wake up, Nicholas.”

  His eyes opened, immediately alert. “Is something amiss? William?” He sat up, still holding her tight against him.

  “Nay,” Elizabeth reassured him, laying her hand on his chest. “I would speak with you.”

  He drew a long breath as though he already knew he wouldn’t like what she was going to ask. “What is it?”

  “Why?” she asked. “At least tell me that.”

  He closed his eyes, and she could feel his body tense. “Elizabeth, can you never just let things be?” He abruptly released her to sit on the edge of the bed, his gaze locked on hers. “Why do you always have to push for more?”

  She reared back, hurt and bewildered at his words. “I’m trying to understand.”

  He rose, and she couldn’t help but draw a breath at the impressive sight of him stalking around the chamber naked as he gathered his chausses and tunic. Watching his muscles bunch and flex was like observing a moving work of art.

  “I am trying to understand as well.” He approached the bed, his features sharp with anger.

  His words wiped away her momentary distraction. She frowned, uncertain what he meant.

  “I’m trying to understand what made me marry my brother’s enemy, and how I’m going to explain all of that to him now that he’s awakened.”

  Her heart sunk as he spoke. Nothing had truly changed then, even though the afternoon had been so close to perfect. Their relationship might have altered physically, but not in any other way.

  “I’m trying to understand why you’d think our...union is worthy of producing a child.” He glared at her as he pulled on his clothes, his movements angry and abrupt.

  She opened her mouth to protest, but didn’t get the chance as he continued.

  “I’m trying to understand why, time and again, I let you distract me from our original agreement.” Fully dressed now, he towered over her at the side of the bed.

  She drew the bed linens over her breasts, holding tight as though to help shield her from his verbal blows. But the pitiful defense failed miserably. Anguish, sharp and piercing, shot through her.

  “Nicholas, I only wanted – ”

  “I cannot give you what you seek.” A flash of pain crossed his face.

  Elizabeth looked up at him, wondering what he meant by the cryptic comment.

  “We can never have the kind of marriage you desire.”

  Tears filled her eyes as her hopes were crushed once again. “Because of William?”

  “I’ve betrayed my own brother with you. What more could you possibly want from me?” He turned to leave but paused. “Stay away from William.” He left the room, slamming the door behind him.

  Elizabeth remained where she was, hardly breathing. She thought with longing of the brief feeling of bliss that had come over her when Nicholas had made her his.

  The love she felt for him was so deep, so huge, it was nearly unbelievable that he didn’t return it in some small way. She’d tried to earn his respect, even his regard, by working hard, by putting her money to good use, by doing everything she could possibly think of to help William.

  All for not.

  Twice now, she’d offered her heart to Nicholas and he’d rejected it.

  No more.

  Never again.

  She’d had enough pain to last a lifetime.

  Her gaze moved to the chest at the foot of the bed where her bag sat packed and ready. Could she stay here, day after day, seeing Nicholas, being close enough to touch him, but knowing she’d never have him? Could she stand to see his contempt time after time? She’d hoped his disgust for her would lessen after William recovered, but that no longer seemed possible, for William apparently felt the same way he did.

  She had no tears.

  No pain.

  Nothing inside her but emptiness.

  She pulled her chemise on, then curled up on the bed and huddled beneath the covers, her body an empty shell that would never serve a purpose.

  *

  Christ! What had he done? Nicholas thought as he made his way toward William’s chamber. His anger at himself had made him lash out at Elizabeth.

  Wasn’t it bad enough that he’d made his brother’s captor his wife? Nay. He’d slept with her as well.

>   What would he tell William? I took the woman who nearly killed you for a wife – oh, and I bedded her as well. I have feelings for her that won’t be denied.

  He shook his head, amazed at his actions. Not only had he betrayed William, he’d hurt Elizabeth. Neither was acceptable to him. He could not – would not – touch Elizabeth until William had recovered and explained what had happened. After that, Nicholas could determine what action he should take with his marriage. The fault of this whole mess lay with him, not her.

  She deserved someone better than him. He hadn’t been truthful with her, wasn’t sure he ever could be. He closed his eyes, for the memory of her sweet body threatened to make him forget what was important, to make him return to her.

  He stopped outside William’s chamber, wanting to calm down before he saw his brother.

  He already believed Elizabeth had done what she could for William while he’d been in her care. How could he doubt that after watching her tend his brother this past fortnight? She’d helped him in every way possible and he had to believe she’d done the same while he was at Amberley.

  And he’d forgiven her for hauling William here and leaving him at the gate. In truth, he should be grateful that she’d had the courage to do so. And if she’d made her presence known, he’d never have let her leave. All of that to protect her father – an honorable desire for certain.

  It mattered not that he had feelings for her. Though his heart squeezed painfully in his chest, he refused to acknowledge anything more. His loyalty lay with his brother first.

  Even if William could eventually forgive Elizabeth, Nicholas’s second sight still stood between them. He knew he couldn’t hide it if they had the closeness of a true marriage. She’d eventually find out and when she did, she’d think him a beast.

  He’d nearly been overcome by a vision when he’d first come to talk to her this very afternoon. The headaches seemed much worse when he tried to hold back his visions, but sometimes he had no choice. He couldn’t let her see his true self. He was saving her from hurt. And himself as well, he admitted.