Deserve

by C. C. Snow

  “Sean,” she moans and rolls her hips so my fingers enter even deeper. The sound of my name on her lips makes my cock throb hungrily and I feel my control slipping. If I sink into her right now, she would feel so soft and tight on my cock.

  But the need to see all of her pretty body is also spurring me on. If my dick weren’t so painfully hard, I would have smiled at her huff of protest when I remove my hand.

  Impatiently I pull her t-shirt past her narrow waist and torso. Her skin is pale and flawless. I get distracted by her perfectly round tits, but luckily my hands work independently and somehow manage to drag her shirt over her head. She’s fucking gorgeous. My palms cup her breasts and her nipples tighten into hard points. They are the exact shade of the inside of her soft lips. I abrade the nubs with my thumbs and she pushes eagerly into my touch.

  “So soft and beautiful.” I pluck the tips between my fingers and bend down to run my tongue over the small splash of freckles at the top of her breasts. When I’ve licked every one, I circle her nipple before sucking it into my mouth. I hum as her sweetness bursts onto my tongue.

  Maggie’s hands grab my biceps and her fingers clench convulsively. “Sean, I need you! Please!”

  I ignore her plea because of course I have to taste her other bud. Switching sides, I lick and suck, savoring the way her cries are escalating. She tilts her pelvis and her damp heat destroys my concentration.

  I squeeze her hip to hold her still and she yelps in pain.

  “Shit!” I instantly pick her up around the waist, set her away from me, and throw myself in the opposite direction. Back pressed against the arm of the couch, I mutter, “I’m such a dumb fuck.”

  In my lust-induced frenzy, I had completely forgotten about her injuries. I squeeze my eyes shut in remorse. She’s been through hell and back tonight and I can’t even keep my libido in check. “I’m sorry, Maggie.”

  “Don’t be! I want this. I want your touch to be the one I feel when I close my eyes,” she whispers fiercely and the sofa dips next to me. Soft lips press firmly against my mouth.

  “Maggie…” I mumble against her mouth in weak protest, but she ignores me. My inner voice yells at me to stop, but when her hand clasps my cock, my mind empties. When she swings her leg over my body and straddles me, placing her pussy over my shaft, one thought comes zinging back in.

  Must have her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Maggie

  I know the moment Sean stops thinking and gives in.

  He breaks the kiss, his eyes glittering with need, and murmurs, “Fuck it.” Swinging me into his arms, he runs up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

  I take the opportunity to explore the layers of muscles on his chest. There’s a small, incredibly soft, pelt of hair covering his sternum and I can’t stop petting it. The gauze on my hand dampens the textures, but his incredible heat seeps through to my bones. Remembering his earlier reaction to my touch, I stroke my fingertips along the hard plane of his pecs until I reach his flat, brown nipple again. I watch in fascination as it tightens into a hard nub. A small groan rumbles from his chest and he picks up speed.

  As soon as we enter the room, I know it’s his bedroom by the tantalizing scent. It acts like a potent aphrodisiac on my senses, making the neediness and heat between my thighs almost unbearable.

  Hurriedly, he places me on my back and stretches his body over mine, putting his weight on his bent arms.

  “I want you,” he mutters into my mouth and I whisper back, “I want you, too.” I’ve waited forever to hear those words and my heart is singing. This is about so much more than needing his touch to replace the horrors of tonight.

  Sean may believe he can’t fall in love, but I refuse to believe it. In all the ways that count, he demonstrates that he has a huge capacity to love. In time, he will realize how loving someone—loving me—will make him stronger.

  He crushes his lips against mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth like he can’t get enough of me. The smokiness of the whiskey combines with his unique male taste and I greedily drink him in.

  He settles his weight between my thighs and I moan at how hard he feels. His flat stomach feels like a slab of heated marble against my soft belly. My God. Every inch of this man is a testament to the beauty of the human body.

  Wanting to feel him under my hands, I push against his shoulders and he willingly rolls over. I sit on his hard thighs and let my hands glide over the ridges and valleys of his chest before I move to his abdomen to count each bump.

  He is distracting me, hands caressing my outer thighs, fingers slipping underneath the leg of my panties until they press into my ass cheeks.

  Is there such a thing as a ten-pack?

  Just to be sure, I run my fingers over his flesh again, but when I reach the waistband of his sweats, I lose count. I push the elastic over his waist and he helps me by raising his hips. Once his cock is free of the fabric, I clasp it in my right hand. It is so deliciously hot and throbbing that I have to—need to—stroke it to feel its silkiness. I’m tempted to take off my bandages so I can feel him skin to skin, but Sean seems to enjoy the different textures.

  He throws his head back and groans loudly, emboldening me to squeeze harder. My fingers don’t meet around his girth, but I solve my dilemma by bringing my other hand into play. In the dark, my sense of touch is heightened and I feel every raised vein under my sensitive fingertips. I find a particularly erogenous spot below the crown of his cock that makes him spit out a curse. Using the pads of my thumbs I rub harder and the foulest words spew out of his mouth. Instead of offending me, they make me smile at the effect I have on him. My sex is aching for relief, but I love the heady power of driving him crazy.

  Abruptly he pushes my hands away. “I can’t take any more.” Gently he flips me onto my back. My sore shoulders twinge, but I bite back any betraying noises of pain. The last thing I want to do is for him to act noble and deny us something we both crave.

  “Off,” he mutters. Hooking his fingers into my boyshorts, he slides them off my legs and crawls over me. He strokes my wet core with two fingers. That single touch is enough for me to feel the inexorable tightening in my belly. I have never felt so needy for a man’s touch.

  “Sean, please! I need you in me.” There is no embarrassment, no self-consciousness. I’ve wanted him for too long. Waited for him for too long.

  “Fuck. This is going to be hard and fast,” he warns and notches his cockhead at my entrance. He’s thick. Thicker than the few guys I’ve been with, but I’m more aroused than I could ever remember being. Despite his words, he pushes into me slowly, stretching my walls with his hardness.

  “Too slow!” I complain, greedy for more of him. My hands press onto his lower hips, but he keeps his unhurried pace. I realize why when I feel a twinge of discomfort as he reaches deeper than I thought possible.

  I toss my head back and gasp at the incredible pressure, not sure if I should weep for joy or fear. “Oh God!”

  “Shh…it’s okay, angel. Just a couple more inches.”

  My eyes widen at the thought of taking more of him. “No…not possible,” I say weakly.

  He puts his forehead next to my head on the pillow and chuckles. “I’m afraid so.” His hand moves between us and he starts to circle my clit with his thumb.

  “Oh…oh…” I raise my lower body into his touch and feel something loosen inside my core. He must have felt it too because he pushes his full length into me and I gasp at the painfully, wonderfully, full sensation.

  “Jesus. You’re so damn tight.”

  “Have you ever thought maybe you’re too damn big?” I retort, trying to adjust to his size.

  His full-throated laugh fills the room and his shaking body sends currents of pleasure through me. My body responds with a gush of wetness and the fullness starts to feel good. Very, very good. I swing a leg over his lean hip and his laugh cuts off.

  “That wasn’t a complaint, by the way,” I clarify in a strangled voic
e and he starts to laugh again.

  I try to pinch his side, but he’s so cut, my fingers can’t grab a hold of his flesh. “Sean!”

  Still chuckling, he kisses me until we’re both breathing heavily. “I wasn’t complaining either,” he husks. “You feel amazing.”

  “You do too,” I whisper and bring my other leg to his waist so that my heels are digging into his ass cheeks. His hard-as-steel ass cheeks. My hands roam over his back, lingering on his flexing muscles.

  “FUCK!”

  That’s all the warning I get before he places his forearms on either side of me and starts to move his hips, driving his cock in and out of me.

  He’s right. It’s hard and fast.

  There’s no pain, but I feel each and every thrust deep inside of me. His torso moves against my breasts, abrading my nipples, adding to the assault on my senses. One second I start to feel the buildup in my belly and the next, I’m crying out his name, my body wracked with the most incredible orgasm of my life. I am blind and deaf to everything around me, all my focus on the heated waves washing over me. All I can do is hang on for the wild ride. Coasting on waves of bliss, it takes me a long time for me to come off my high.

  On the fuzzy outskirts of my mind, I notice that Sean is still hot and hard inside my sheath. I hear a soft whisper in my ear. “Again.”

  “Huh?” My brain has lots its functionality.

  “Again. I want you to come again.”

  Impossible, I want to say, but he leans down and sucks on my neck and the thought slips away. His lips move to a new spot and then another, each pull on my flesh calling forth a small moan.

  His hand slides down my body until he reaches where we are joined. His thumb swipes across my clit and I gasp at the burst of heat. “Not possible,” I mutter in surprise.

  Sean releases my flesh from his mouth and looks down at me. His grin is a slash of white in the dark room. “I’m afraid so.” With those taunting words, he swivels his hips and rubs my hot button at the same time. My inner muscles tighten on his cock and he groans. My lips quirk in satisfaction, but my smile disappears when his thumb moves faster.

  This time, the buildup is languid and steady. His hips pulse gently, only pulling a few inches of his shaft out of me before pushing back into my channel. The ball in my core contracts so tightly, I start to thrash in discomfort.

  “Sean, please!” I beg and snake my hand between us.

  “Yes!” He removes his hand. “Touch yourself. Make yourself come.”

  My fingers find my engorged clit. I rub gently at first, but as Sean’s strokes lengthen, I increase my speed. Every muscle tenses until I’m practically shaking.

  He leans over me and nips at my lower lip. “Come, angel. Come.”

  His command is all it takes for me to reach my peak. The tension in my belly snaps and I moan helplessly as my sex contracts around his length. My climax is softer, but no less powerful and I shudder with each inner spasm.

  Sean pushes up on his arms and throws back his head. His rhythm intensifies. A series of primal grunts pushes from his lips and then I feel his warm release deep inside me. It feels sexy as hell to be so intimately connected. Long minutes pass before he drops his chin to his chest and slowly pulls out of me. The drag of his flesh yanks another little pulse out of my sex and I shiver.

  He drops to his side and pulls me against him. His chest moves up and down as he tries to draw in air. “Fuck, we forgot protection.”

  I press my forehead against his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m covered.” I squeeze my legs together, feeling us. I know it’s stupid. I’m a medical student and I should care about being safe, but I can’t bring myself to regret what we shared. Besides, I trust him completely.

  Touching my hair lightly, he kisses my forehead. “I’m clean. Haven’t had sex since…” He pauses and chuckles. “It doesn’t matter. I’m clean and I have always used a condom, but I should still have protected you.”

  “S’kay,” I murmur, my eyes drooping. I wish my shoulder wouldn’t hurt so I could turn on my side and press against his hard body.

  “Maggie?”

  “Hmm…” I snuggle closer, loving how his voice vibrates through my body. A soft blanket covers me, but it’s his body heat that warms me.

  “You okay?”

  “Um-hmm.” I feel…amazing. Safe. Warm. Happy.

  “Night,” he whispers.

  “Night. Love you.” I sigh and fall asleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sean

  Love you.

  Those words zip around in my mind like a ricocheting bullet, leaving chaos and destruction in its wake. I lie in the dark and try to work through the turmoil.

  If she had said it while she was at the heights of her climax, I could have dismissed them, but she spoke at the moment when her mind slipped into her unconscious—when her filters were nonexistent. She believes she loves me.

  I swallow, feeling unworthy—feeling like a fraud, because Maggie doesn’t know the real me. The real me is a cold, calculating bastard who doesn’t deserve her love.

  When I decided to ask her to give us a shot, I had gamed out the various outcomes. This was one of them, but I had not anticipated hearing those words the first time we were together. In the back of my mind…there was nothing in my mind because the truth was I had stopped being a rational creature as soon as I thought of her with another man.

  Yeah, I’m cold, calculating and selfish as fuck.

  Hoping the pain can bring some order to my thoughts, I yank sharply on a chunk of my hair. What do I do?

  The primitive part of me smirks in satisfaction that she’s mine—body and heart—and clamors greedily for more. The rational, civilized half hisses in disapproval, warning me that she deserves someone who can love her in return.

  You’re going to hurt her. You should have resisted her.

  I look down at her and scoff at the ridiculous notion. Her pretty face is turned toward me, her features relaxed in slumber. There’s the faintest hint of a smile on her lips, making me want to thump my chest like a caveman for satisfying her.

  From the moment I drooled over her ass, there was no resisting Maggie. She’s sexy and brave and funny. I chuckle lowly, thinking about how she made me laugh in bed. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked and laughed at the same time. I would have thought it would be distracting, but with Maggie, it felt fucking amazing and…right.

  And hot. The best fuck of my life. I try to tell myself it’s the months of celibacy combined with taking a woman bareback for the first time, but I know I’m lying to myself. It’s her. Everything feels amplified when I’m with her—like I’m experiencing everything for the first time.

  But then, with Maggie, there are a lot of firsts. I’ve never felt this cocktail of emotions churning in my chest. I’ve never felt this possessive of any woman.

  I grimace, wondering what I’m going to tell Cael. From the moment I called her yesterday, I knew I wouldn’t hide this from him. My sense of loyalty won’t allow me to be anything less than one hundred percent truthful with him. My only problem is finding the right words to break it to him.

  Hey, I’m an unworthy bastard, but I’m sleeping with your sister. I can’t offer her love, but I’m a selfish dick and I plan to keep her forever.

  He’ll throat punch me with his giant fists and I wouldn’t be able to defend myself. He, more than anyone else, knows about my fucked up record with women. What if he demands that I give her up?

  Fuck no.

  I disentangle myself from Maggie and sit on the edge of the bed. Dropping my head into my hands, I try to think through my options.

  You have two choices. One: go after this girl. Or two: don’t.

  Maggie shifts on the bed and I glance over my shoulder at her. She looks so sweet and innocent with her hand resting next to her face, bandaged palm exposed. Like an angel in repose.

  Love you.

  Hope stirs in my heart. This exquisite creature loves me. I thump a fist
over my chest. I thought the organ had stopped working when I was fifteen, but it doesn’t feel like it now.

  “I don’t deserve your love,” I say softly, knowing there is only one real option for me. I crawl back into bed and hold her gently. She makes a snuffling noise and scoots closer to me, making me smile.

  Love you.

  I put my nose against the small curve of her neck and inhale deeply, drawing in her sweet essence. When her scent hits my lungs, I feel my whole soul ease.

  I’ll have to come up with a plan to deal with Cael, but giving her up is not going to happen. I am not worthy of her, but I’m a selfish, manipulative asshole. I’m going to do everything possible to keep her.

  If I play my cards right, she’ll never know what a bastard I am.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Maggie

  A soft touch on my waist wakes me up, making me giggle. I open my eyes. Morning sunlight streams through the half-open window. The low hum from outside lets me know the city is coming to life.

  “Ticklish, are you?” A deep voice rasps behind me.

  Suddenly the euphoria from last night floods back and I grin dopily. Never could I have imagined I would end up in Sean Rowan’s bed after years of fantasizing about this moment. Another light brush of Sean’s hands makes me squeal with laughter. “Don’t!” I shriek, trying to twist out of his touch, but he grasps my waist and pulls me against him.

  He’s hard and ready for me and I involuntarily press my backside closer to him. My smile threatens to split my face when I hear him groan.

  “Behave.”

  I wiggle my hips in answer and he mutters an expletive under his breath before he pushes me onto my stomach, one large hand between my shoulder blades and the other right on the small of my back. His hold is gentle, but I freeze for a second, remembering last night. Then the caress of his large hand on my backside brings me back to the present. I breathe in deeply, reminding myself that I’m completely safe. The sheets have been shoved below my waist, exposing me to his gaze, and I fight my self-consciousness.