Mail Order Menace

by Kirsten Osbourne

  “I believe you.” Mrs. Jenkins’s voice was little more than a whisper. “I’ll stop talking about you.”

  “You’ll stop talking about everyone. All the people in this town are now my loved ones because they embraced me and made me one of their own. All but you and your band of harridans. So you will stop spreading lies about everyone, or I will be your worst nightmare.” Ernie stepped back and smiled at Cliff, who was watching her with a grin. “Is my hat on straight?” Her hands went to her hat and she adjusted it just a bit.

  Cliff laughed out loud. “Your hat is just as perfect as you are.” He caught her hand and pulled her to him, kissing her right there in the middle of the church. When he’d finished, he turned to Mr. Jenkins, who had come to defend his wife. “I just want you to know that my wife meant every word she said. I also want you to know that I will make good on everything she said if she’s unable to. She’s carrying my baby, you see. There will be no more ugly talk about her or anyone else in this town. Good day.” He calmly tucked Ernie’s hand through the curve of his arm and led her to a pew across the church from the older couple. “Have I told you how utterly perfect you just were?”

  Ernie grinned. “No, you haven’t. I didn’t embarrass you?”

  “Embarrass me? I couldn’t be prouder. You are the most magnificent woman alive, and I thank God every day you were the one who opened the door at that boarding house. Maybe I should go back and thank Mrs. Jenkins, now that I think about it.” He looked over toward the other woman, and realized then that the low buzz of voices was louder in volume than usual. Those who hadn’t witnessed his wife’s threats to Mrs. Jenkins were hearing about them now. No one would dare mess with her again.

  “Thank her? For what? Making me out to be a trollop?” Ernie was sure her husband had lost his mind. “You’ve been working much too hard lately, dear. You’re an expectant father after all.”

  “Yes, I am, but I wouldn’t be if Mrs. Jenkins hadn’t forced us to marry so quickly. I’d have taken at least a month to propose, but she didn’t let me take more than twenty-four hours. I really should thank her.”

  Ernie giggled as the pastor walked to the front of the church, calling them to quiet.

  “Before I tell you what our first hymn will be, I want to say that there will be no more gossip in this church at all. A lovely young lady has been the victim of too many of the older women here, and it will no longer be tolerated. If you feel the need to gossip, I will feel the need to tell you that you are no longer welcome in my church. No one deserves to be put through the ordeal Ernestine Solomon has gone through in her short time here in Prairie Dog. So consider yourselves warned. Gossip in this town is a thing of the past.” He picked up his hymnal and flipped through it, nodding to the organ player. “Let’s start with hymn number twenty-four.”

  Ernie felt many eyes on her, but she kept her gaze on the hymnal in front of her, and she sang robustly, though she was off-key throughout the entire song. She didn’t care. No one dared speak badly about her now. Not after the way both Cliff and the pastor had defended her.

  She breathed a sigh of relief as she sat down. No, people wouldn’t be gossiping about her any longer. Half the town would be afraid to even speak her name for a while, and that was just how she liked it.

  *****

  As soon as they got home, Ernie fixed lunch for the ravenous men who joined them. She was surprised to see Katie and Ethan there. Ethan watched as she worked, and he bit into the pot roast she’d made with a smile. “Katie tells me you want her to be your business partner.”

  Ernie nodded. She didn’t really think a lot of Ethan, but he made her friend happy, so he must not be all bad. “I do. She’s been invaluable to me as she’s worked beside me to make the boarding house the best it could be. Now that I’ll just be making three meals a day, I think I would still like her support and help.”

  Ethan nodded at his wife. “I’d be fine with you working with her as her partner. I think you have a lot to learn.”

  Katie smiled at her friend, nodding. “I’ll be here in the morning, then!”

  “I can handle breakfast myself. In fact, if you could stay until suppertime, I will do the supper dishes myself, but I’ll leave the breakfast dishes for you. You can take home meals for your family.”

  “Sounds good.” After the meal, Katie jumped up and helped with the dishes, leaving her daughter with Ethan. “I can’t believe you talked him into it,” Katie whispered softly.

  “I think he was already convinced when he got here.” Ernie washed while Katie wiped the dishes. They made a good team.

  After the house was empty between the lunch and supper rushes, Cliff pulled Ernie into the parlor. “There’s something I want to ask you about.”

  She sat down on the sofa with him, turning her full attention to him. “What did you want to ask?”

  “Well, when you were talking to Mrs. Jenkins…”

  “That old harridan.” Ernie shook her head, still annoyed with how things had to play out to get the woman to stop her bad behavior.

  “You told her you were glad we’d had to marry, because you love me.” His blue eyes met her green, and he looked vulnerable for the first time since she’d met him. “Did you mean that?”

  Ernie understood then. He may never return her feelings, but he needed to know if they were real. She reached out and grasped his hand in hers, holding it tightly. “I did mean that, with all my heart. I love you so much, Cliff. I can’t imagine what my life would be like today if I’d married the man I came here to marry.”

  Cliff pulled her close, burying his face in her hair, which had mostly fallen from the perfect knot she’d worn it in for church. “I love you, too. So much. I worried that I was the only one with these feelings…I think I fell in love with you the moment you told me I couldn’t go up to my room until I’d had a bath.”

  “You liked my bossiness?”

  “I liked your spunk. I liked your ability to tell me exactly what you needed, and made it work for both of us.”

  “You really didn’t mind?” Ernie had been shocked that he wanted to court her after she’d told him what to do in no uncertain terms.

  He shrugged. “I didn’t. I thought you were pretty spectacular even then. Although, I must say, the way you told Mrs. Jenkins what you thought of her at church today sent me reeling. I had no idea you intended to do that.”

  “I didn’t. It just kind of happened.”

  A knock at the door had Cliff hurrying to open it. He was trying to make sure Ernie sat as much as possible. Opening the door wide, he found Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins on the other side, and Mr. Jenkins had his cowboy cat off and held across his chest. “May we come in?” he asked.

  Cliff stepped out of the way while the couple came in, and he invited them into the parlor. “How can we help you?” He wasn’t going to offer them anything to eat or drink. Not with the way they’d treated his wife.

  Mr. Jenkins nudged his wife with his elbow. “Debra has something to say to you.”

  Mrs. Jenkins looked reluctant, but she spoke. “I’m very sorry for the lies I told about you. As a Christian woman, I know that what I did was very wrong, and I want to ask your forgiveness.”

  Ernie wanted to tell her to get out of her house, and yell that she’d never forgive her—but she was a Christian woman also, and she knew she couldn’t do that. “I forgive you.” And she would work very hard to forget what all had been said, but she wasn’t sure it was possible.

  “Thank you,” Mrs. Jenkins said, her voice a mere whisper.

  Ernie couldn’t help but wonder why the woman was the way she was. She wasn’t sure she’d ever know.

  After the older couple had left, Cliff sat down beside Ernie once again. “I’m glad you stood up for yourself and all of her victims. It was time someone did.”

  “I’m just thankful you and the pastor were so adamant in your defense of me. It was heartwarming.”

  He smiled, cupping her cheek with one of his hands, m
aking her feel protected. “I love you so much it hurts. Thank you for being my wife.”

  She smiled. “I can’t imagine anything in this world I’d rather be!”

  Epilogue

  Ernie stared down at the baby girl in her arms. She still couldn’t quite believe that she was finally here. Mrs. Sims smiled down at her. “She looks like her mother.”

  Ernie sniffled as a tear drifted down her face. She felt so weepy as she looked at the little face, and realized that the midwife was right—the infant looked just like her. The blond hair could be either her or Cliff, but the shape of her nose and the high cheekbones were definitely her. “Thank you for helping me.”

  “Thank you for making our town a better place to live in, and not only with your cooking.”

  Ernie had found out months before that Mrs. Sims had been a favorite victim of the gossips in town before Ernie had arrived. Her confrontation with Mrs. Jenkins had helped more people than she’d imagined it would. “I’m just glad I was able to help the situation.”

  Mrs. Sims walked to the door. “I’m going to let your husband in now. He actually thought I should allow him in the room while you were laboring. Do you believe that?”

  Ernie smiled. She would have liked to have had his support through the long hours of pain, but she knew it wasn’t done. “He does have his own ideas about things, doesn’t he?”

  “I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll be by in the morning to check on you, but if you need me before then, send your man for me.”

  “Thank you.” Ernie looked up as Cliff hurried into the room, sitting carefully beside her on the bed.

  “Is it a boy or a girl? Mrs. Sims wouldn’t tell me when I asked.”

  “We have a daughter.”

  Cliff felt as if the world was closing in on him. What would he do when men wanted to court her? “What are you going to call her?”

  “How would you feel about Bertha? I think we should call her Bertie, because without Bert, we’d never have found each other.”

  “I love that idea. Bertie.” He touched his daughter’s hand and was thrilled when she curled her little fingers around his. “I can’t believe we have a daughter.”

  “I can’t believe how happy I am. Make sure you put a sign in the window that we’re closed for a couple of days. I’m not going to feel up to fetching meals for half the men in town this week.”

  “Katie could do it, but I agree. You need time alone with our daughter.”

  “Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Ernie asked, staring into the little face.

  “Yes, she is.” Cliff wasn’t looking at his daughter though. He was looking at the amazing wife beside him. The woman who had changed his entire world.

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