Holly's Heart

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘And how is that working for you?’

  She sighed. ‘It has been a good choice. Bringing them back here. At least they had friends, though all the questions they had were hard. But Wirralong has saved my sanity, given me an income, though admittedly a small one, and the hours work for the boys, with Mrs F being such an angel. If anything happened to her it would be a problem.’

  ‘Saturday almost carries the rest of the week. Mrs F is happy to do that one for me. Thankfully. But when she can’t it’s a nightmare.’

  ‘The dilemmas of a single-parent family.’

  ‘I need to be here for the boys. Which is why I’m uncertain what to think about this. This, us,’ she gestured to them together, ‘is just for today. You haven’t asked but I can’t commit to more at this time.’ She needed him to understand she didn’t have the headspace for a full relationship even if she wanted to. Almost desperately needed to hear him say it, because juggling more emotions in her fractured psyche frightened the life out of her. ‘This is just,’ she emphasised the word, ‘comfort and caring after a hard day and I thank you for being here.’

  ‘Fine. Though,’ he smiled down at her and his glance made her skin heat as if he’d touched her, ‘we are only “just” starting the night, and if I don’t have to go home till the morning as the boys aren’t here, then I wouldn’t say, “just”, quite yet.’ His big hand reached over and cupped her breast. ‘But I can help you forget.’

  *

  The next morning Holly wouldn’t say ‘just’ either. The earth had actually moved. A fault as big as San Andreas had moved. She was pretty sure the stars had shifted a tad too.

  Once the full glory of the night, and those two episodes this morning—good grief Ben Brierly, you stud!—had seeped back into her memory in Technicolour she turned her head on the pillow slowly to look at the man beside her.

  He was watching her. A teasing light in his beautiful eyes.

  Her hand came up over her suddenly scorching face and hid her eyes. She’d never, ever, let herself go like that. All she could do was hope the window had been shut or Main Street Wirralong would be talking about the possibly grisly, screaming, murder of Holly Peterson.

  She just knew her face, her ears, her neck, even her chest, would be glowing like hot coals with embarrassment as he shifted in the bed. His fingers lifted her hand away and he’d risen on his elbow to look into her face. Smiling, of course.

  ‘You,’ he paused, and kissed her once, ‘are the sexiest,’ kiss, ‘most beautiful,’ kiss, ‘woman,’ kiss, ‘in the entire world.’ Kiss. ‘Never, ever, change.’

  The relief, pleasure, maybe even a sudden, silly, satisfied pride swelled for the first time in her life, and she looked at him, thought about her noisy ecstasy, thought about this man who had just given her the most perfect compliment in the world, and started to laugh.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ben

  She was laughing. He should be miffed, but Ben savoured the sound and the view. Holly hadn’t realised the sheet had slipped and the tips of her breasts, reddened from his ministrations, winked at him as they jiggled. His body stirred.

  Kill me now and I will die happy, he thought. Then decided he had too much to live for, so he wasn’t going anywhere for the next hundred years.

  It might not happen soon, but after last night, he cautiously dared to dream it could happen. He could be the man to make Holly Peterson happy. Yes, he could. He wanted this moment every day of his life. Waking up beside her, feeling her gaze on him, her skin flushed and rubbed pink with being loved.

  But he needed to nip any of her regrets in the bud and keep this easy, without any burden. Until she was ready. He thought about what she’d shared with him last night, the death of her patient, the loss of her sister, her fear of letting the boys down. She needed nurturing, not pressure. He could do that. Patience was his middle name. Apparently. ‘Know any good coffee shops around here?’

  He watched her blink, disconcerted by the question. Then she smiled sleepily. ‘My favourite is shut.’ Then far less sleepily, ‘Which reminds me that the person who opens it has my boys. They’ll be here in half an hour.’ She had that look on her face and he was not going to hear it.

  ‘I’ll dash then. Thank you for an amazing night.’ He leaned over and allowed himself a brief kiss, because if he took any longer he’d never leave. ‘I’m off to Brierly Park this morning. My grandmother’s birthday.’

  He watched her change what she’d been going to say and then he rolled away from her to the edge of the bed. Close call.

  When she spoke, she had an odd tone in her voice. ‘Did you buy her daisies?’

  He turned and smiled at her. She looked beautiful, dishevelled, and incredibly sexy. And a little bit put out. ‘No. Roses. Daisies are for you.’ Then he reached for his clothes and began to dress. He needed to get out of here because he really, really didn’t want to leave.

  Chapter Twenty

  Holly

  Holly couldn’t believe the boys would be here soon and she was still lying there watching the contours of Ben’s muscled back and shoulders shift and ripple as he pulled on his clothes. His butt slid past her view as he pulled on his jocks and she was actually sad to see that tightly muscled handful of masculine delight walk away.

  Who was she? What was she doing ogling his backside? This was why she didn’t need to get involved. This was why she had to think of the boys first. But Ben was going. He hadn’t compelled her to promise something she didn’t have to give, and he seemed to be quite easily moving on with his day.

  She sat up. Watched Ben come out of the bathroom and decided she needed to shower, not rubberneck him. And she felt incredible. Different. As if the worries of the world had been what? Shagged out of her? She stifled a grin.

  ‘Thank you, Ben.’

  He blew her a kiss and walked out of her door. Closing it quietly behind him.

  Which was what she wanted. Right? She blew that thought away in a long noisy huff of confusion and moved towards the shower.

  *

  The boys were back, Holly had run downstairs half an hour after Mrs F had opened the shop and brought herself back a freshly brewed coffee. She needed it because she hadn’t slept much last night. At the thought of why she hadn’t slept, a small smile played on her lips and her nephew considered her.

  ‘You look happy this morning,’ Tom said. ‘Was it a nice wedding?’

  Dear Tom. So quietly observant, aware of others. She reached out and hugged him. ‘The wedding was lovely. Jasmine and Jason looked very happy.’

  Pat bounced up. ‘Is Ben going to the park today? Can we kick the ball around with him?’

  Ben. Ben who was supposed to have no place in her life. Or theirs. Ben who the boys apparently already adored. ‘No. It’s Ben’s grandmother’s birthday today and he’s gone out to Brierly Park for the day.’ She looked at the hope fading from identical faces. ‘Which reminds me. It’s your birthdays soon, too, and I’m happy if you both want to have a party …’ She waited for a response and none came. ‘Or, if you wanted to go camping instead of a party?’

  ‘Camping.’ The word came straight back from both of them and she smiled. She suspected they weren’t ready to be hosts of a children’s party yet—when the memories of other birthdays with their mum would be so fresh.

  ‘Settled then. I’ll ask if anyone knows of a good spot and we’ll go on your birthday weekend. Maybe go Friday night and come back Sunday. What do you think?’

  Wide eyes and huge smiles shone from Tom and Pat and she pulled them both close. She should have thought of this sooner. Her throat tightened and she swallowed the tears back. Cautioned herself: You’re still a little fragile. For a fleeting moment she thought of Ben’s arm coming around her shoulder at just this moment and the comfort it would have held. She had to stop thinking that. She let the boys go.

  ‘I saw a whole camping kit, tents, kitchen stuff, and lots of things we could use advertised at a garage sale today,
not too far away. It would cut down on your presents but if you’d like to go and look at that, we could?’

  Another chorus of agreement.

  ‘We may as well go soon, then. We’re all dressed and I’ve got coffee.’ Garage sales did sell out. It had nothing to do with the fact the flat seemed to be missing someone despite the presence of the boys.

  *

  Fifteen minutes later they’d found the yard sale, under the shade of a huge soaring eucalyptus tree, to the accompaniment of a noisy kookaburra who thought their arrival vastly amusing. The delightful older couple had decided their new convenient mobile home was the much easier way for their outdoor adventures in the future.

  Tom’s eyes were wide as he and Pat strolled around the yard almost covered in camping equipment, lifting poles and shovels, animated in their discussions of what they needed.

  ‘You could take the lot.’ The older man came to stand beside Holly who was watching the boys indulgently. ‘We’d do you a very good deal, just to get rid of it.’ He smiled at the boys. ‘We can see it’s going to a good home. But take your time.’

  This was why she loved the country. Kindness and calm unlike the fast pace of the city. Take your time. And time was what she’d needed. Maybe that was all she needed. That’s what she’d told Ben. Shame time seemed to drag when he wasn’t there. She did feel calmer today. Not as stressed or anxious. Or alone. Now wasn’t the time to relive that cure.

  The older man raised his brows at the pile the boys were amassing. ‘I’m thinking you could use the pop-up camper van over there.’ They all looked at the little cubby house on wheels with a very reasonable price propped on the front.

  ‘That’s not silly,’ his wife agreed.

  Holly chewed her lip. She hadn’t considered how she would carry the equipment. She’d been thinking one little tent in a carry bag and maybe a box of odds and ends. But there were so many good gadgets you could add to your camping experience. Almost like setting up an outdoor house. The boys obviously loved that idea. Holly’s car already had a tow ball, but she’d never pulled anything behind her car. ‘Could I tow a little van?’

  The older lady smiled. ‘I can, dearie, so I’m pretty sure you can. Reversing is a skill, but you can learn. It does make it easier if everything is already inside and ready to go. The camper has lots of wonderful storage nooks and crannies.’

  ‘Can we look, Holly? Please. Can we?’ The boys were hopping from foot to foot. She hadn’t seen them so excited before and the last thing she wanted to do was lose that glow when it had been so hard to ignite since their mother’s death.

  ‘We could think about it.’ This was getting bigger than Ben Hur. ‘Especially when we look at how much stuff we’re collecting.’

  They all trooped over to the little van, while Holly exclaimed over the checked curtains tied back at the windows, the boys bounced on the snug double bed, and opened the cupboards in the tiny kitchenette. The older gentleman showed her how the roof pushed up, which was a little bit of a struggle erecting but she managed easily to pull it down. And everything flyscreened for insects. Holly loved it. Holly especially liked the double bed. They all stepped out.

  That was when Ben pulled up on the street behind Holly’s car. His big Range Rover looked massive behind Holly’s small all-wheel drive and he looked too damn capable as he climbed out and strolled over. ‘What’s going on here?’

  Tom and Pat rushed over to share their new knowledge of camping equipment and the idea of Holly’s tiny van. Ben looked over their heads briefly to Holly with a smile in his eyes. Then back at the boys. ‘That whole area is the stuff your aunt is buying?’

  She closed the gap between them. ‘I thought you were at your grandmother’s?’

  ‘I was on my way, but saw something funny that stopped me.’

  ‘Smart Alec.’ But she smiled at him and then turned back to the couple who were watching them, unperturbed, and unhurried.

  ‘These lovely people have suggested I might consider the little pop-up van as well. What do you think?’ She had no idea why it was so important to ask. It wasn’t really. But she waited for his answer all the same.

  ‘Camping? Great idea if you want a kitchen and a bed off the ground. And you can lock it up if you leave it and at night when you sleep.’

  ‘A sensible man,’ the older woman laughed. ‘And,’ she came over and nudged Holly, ‘I’d be taking the little portable loo as well, and the tent it goes in. We ladies like our privacy,’ she jerked her head at Ben and the boys, ‘not like the men, who will water anything.’

  Ben coughed and Holly tried not to laugh. She nodded solemnly. The boys looked confused, with no idea what they were talking about. She pretended to stare thoughtfully at Ben and shook her head. ‘I can see that would be a problem.’

  She really wanted the miniature van. It looked much better than packing and unpacking everything and the idea of a softer bed called to her. They could take it all. Just connect it onto the car and they’d be ready to go anytime. The boys could still have a tent if they wanted to pitch next to her, and all the shovels and poles and little fishing rods and kitchen implements, even the blow-up boat, would sit inside. It was all ridiculously cheap.

  ‘I could learn to reverse it.’ Heck, if she could learn to save lives, suture up wounds and prescribe medications, she could reverse a little van.

  ‘I can show you how to reverse if you like,’ Ben offered, and she shot him a grateful look.

  The boys were staring at her with pleading eyes.

  Ben looked a little incredulous she was jumping right into this spontaneous expense.

  But she never bought anything for herself and the boys would get so much more out of all this for their birthday than any toy or clothes she could buy them. If her sister had been here she would have loved the idea. Once she’d even told Holly it was one of the things she wanted to do with the boys when they were older.

  ‘I’ll take it. We’ll take it all.’ Though she didn’t have that much cash on her. ‘Will you take a cheque from me?’

  The boys whooped and the older couple looked relieved. She hoped it wasn’t a disaster, but what the heck. They all needed diversion.

  ‘Nice and easy for us. Don’t like to keep money in the house, so that’s fine. You’ll need no vouching. We can see you’re a good person.’ He looked at the trailer and Holly’s car. ‘You be right towing it straight away? We could keep it all here for you?’

  Ben held out his hand. ‘I’m Ben Brierly.’

  ‘Eric and Moira Ross.’ They shook hands.

  Then Ben turned to Holly. ‘How about you and the boys do all the packing and sorting here. When I come back from the Park late this afternoon, I could pick up the trailer? Then I can reverse it into your garage today and we can all take it out next weekend, so you can practise reversing?’

  Relief washed over Holly. All very well to be spontaneous, but she had been worrying about how she’d get the thing into her garage.

  She looked at him. Tall, relaxed, smiling at her as if he wasn’t sure if she was mad or not. ‘I’ll take you up on that.’

  ‘Done.’ Ben nodded to the couple. ‘Is about seven this evening too late for me to call back and pick it up? I promised to stay for tea before I come back to town.’

  An excellent grandson, Holly thought, trying not to be disappointed she would have to wait that long—though she wasn’t sure if it was Ben or the van she wanted home earlier. She hoped his grandmother appreciated him.

  ‘We’ll be here,’ the older woman said with a smile. ‘I’m thinking the boys might not be long gone if my man decides to show them how to use everything.’

  Well that would fill today, Holly thought, but deep down she was glad. Very, very glad. This felt right. This was an awesome project for her nephews.

  She should stop thinking like this, but now they had another reason for Ben to visit later today.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ben

  Ben smiled as he drove
away. Another reason to visit Holly. And she’d asked his opinion. That was a delight. Though, he suspected she’d already made up her mind.

  But for now, he would be fifteen minutes late, something his grandmother detested and he was sorry for that, but Holly had been a damsel in distress.

  His damsel in distress.

  And he’d had to cut it fine to pick up the roses he’d ordered from the nursery, who didn’t open until nine thirty on a Sunday.

  He resisted the urge to accelerate and settled for voice activating his phone and calling ahead.

  ‘Hello? Is that you, Ben?’ His grandmother’s brisk tones made him remember the many times he’d had to call to declare his tardiness.

  ‘Yes, Gran. Happy birthday. Just letting you know I’ll be about fifteen minutes late, but I’m on my way.’

  ‘Oh. I’m sure you have a good excuse. I’ll hear it when you get here.’

  ‘Will do. See you soon.’

  ‘Goodbye.’ The call cut off and he smiled. She disliked the telephone. She disliked a lot of things, even more so after her husband died. She’d been very cross with her husband for doing that. Leaving her to go on alone before Ben had even gone into university and med school. Taking her social life as the mayor’s wife with him. Gran had erred on the side of bitter for a few years now. He hoped that would change with him home again.

  His grandmother was lonely, but she wasn’t a people-person. She didn’t make friends easily, and had created a hard shell that pushed others away and then her pride stopped her from trying again. But she’d been very good to him when his parents had been killed. And he suspected she liked children far more than other adults. He wondered briefly if she’d like the twins? Then decided that was definitely for another day.