The Time Travel Handbook

by James Wyllie

  Once inside the baths – the front entrance is for men, a side entrance for women – you ditch your toga in the changing rooms (apodyterium). This is worth a close look, as, to help you find where you have left your clothing, there are a series of erotic murals featuring depictions of unashamed cunnilingus and even a three-some involving two men and one woman. These are part of the Roman acceptance of the erotic and not given more than a passing look by your fellow bathers.

  Toga off, you are free to exercise, swim, sunbathe, have your skin scraped or get a rubdown. The main attractions are the various rooms offering a full range of temperatures to immerse yourself in: a cold room (frigidarium), a warm room (tepidarium), a hot room (caldarium) and, for the hardcore enthusiast, the hot sweat room (laconium). The one thing we’d not advise is a dip in the pool, which is a breeding ground for bacteria of all kinds.

  At some point in the day you may well need to relieve yourself. There are a number of PUBLIC TOILET facilities available, but don’t expect the privacy of your own cubicle; emptying your bowels is a communal activity in Pompeii. You will squat in a row next to your neighbour on a keyhole-shaped seat cut out of a length of marble slab, with a trench directly underneath to collect and flush away the waste, and a small trough in the floor in front of you filled with fresh water. Once you’re done, take a SPONGIA (a sea sponge attached to a stick), dip it in the trough, slip it discreetly under your toga and clean up as necessary.

  24 AUGUST: HERCULANEUM

  You will rendezvous early next morning at the arrival point, then head to the nearby town of HERCULANEUM. Small, with a high percentage of wealthy citizens occupying large, opulent homes, Herculaneum’s position by the sea makes it an ideal spot for holiday homes for the Roman elite. It is also the perfect spot to view the FIRST ERUPTION.

  At 1pm on 24 August, VESUVIUS bursts into life, propelling a thick cloud of ash and stones thousands of yards skywards. While this thick cloud cloaks Pompeii, Herculaneum, which is to the west of Vesuvius, only gets a very fine dusting, leaving a sooty layer a few inches deep. Though you might be troubled by irritated eyes, a dry throat, tight chest and nasal congestion, you will get a clear view of the action over Pompeii as the blanket of foul ash descends on it.

  Though some of Herculaneum’s residents stay put, hoping the worst is over, most abandon their homes and hit the road. With many fine dwellings abandoned, this is an excellent opportunity to explore.

  Once you have selected a suitably DESERTED HOUSE, you will find yourself entering an open courtyard, the ATRIUM, from which you will be able to access the maze of rooms. There will be much to admire: shrines to the household gods (lares), ornate mirrors, oil lamps and bronze sculptures, and FRESCOES covering walls, ceilings and even floors, depicting scenes from mythology, erotic exploits, and hunting expeditions. Domestic GARDENS are a source of pride for their owners. Some will be wild, overrun with trees and vines; others more formal, with neatly arranged flowerbeds, or ornamental in style, featuring fishponds, shimmering pools and exquisite shrines. As you investigate, you will be struck by the eerie silence and ghostly hush that has descended on these homes, where only inanimate relics – the unoccupied dining room couches, the half-eaten food, the clothes dumped carelessly – bear witness to lives suddenly interrupted. They will remain in this state of suspended animation for a few more hours until the deluge consumes them.

  By NIGHTFALL, you should be heading for the shoreline where small rowing boats will be waiting to take you out into the Bay of Naples, where you will transfer onto a larger vessel. The last shuttle will wait until 11.30pm, not a moment later. Anybody who fails to make the rendezvous in time will be stranded with no way back to the present. It is not a good prospect. Herculaneum will be flattened by hot gases sweeping through it at 100 miles per hour, reaching a temperature of 932º F (500º C), then buried under sixty foot of ash.

  24 AUGUST: BAY OF NAPLES

  Your rowing boat will help you transfer to our charter, a GRAIN SHIP with two sails, capable of an average speed of 4-5 knots in a favourable wind. It is controlled by side rudders and steering oars located at the stern of ship; these are manipulated by a system of cables rotated on an axis which are operated by the steersman who works the tiller (clavus), a bar set perpendicular to the oar. The steersman and the rest of the crew are all highly trained company employees. Light refreshments – soft-boiled eggs in pine-nut sauce, lentils with coriander, fresh oysters, sliced roast boar – will be served.

  Gathered on deck, you will be ready for the main event later that night. When the initial ash cloud produced by VESUVIUS collapses, the gases it releases expand to create a PYROCLASTIC SURGE. This process will keep repeating itself in a series of devastating pulses, generating temperatures of up to 572º F (300º C). The third and fourth waves will level POMPEII, either incinerating or suffocating every living thing in its path.

  From the boat you will see the top of Vesuvius smouldering away, burning brightly in darkness so thick it blots out the heavens as night merges seamlessly into day. Dotted across the landscape, the intense heat produces spots of glowing light like hundreds of bonfires.

  You should also be able to make out the frantic activity on the shoreline as desperate throngs of people try to escape, trapped between increasingly choppy waters and the encroaching eruption. Many perish under hails of flaming debris – great masses of rocks and stones that have been transformed into lethal white-hot coals. As the catastrophe unfolds on land, you will notice the sea getting decidedly rougher, with huge, rolling waves slamming into the boat, tossing it hither and thither. This is because of seismic activity; the eruptions create tremors that ripple through the seabed.

  Even on your boat, this is not a trip for the cautious. Sea-sickness may be an issue and you can expect slippery decks, an occasional soaking and moments when it will seem like the boat is about to sink without trace. Try to stay calm. It is a sturdy vessel and should be able to cope with the extreme conditions. We haven’t lost one yet.

  Shortly after the sixth and final pyroclastic surge, the ship will sail to the island of CAPRI and deposit you on a beach, ready for departure.

  The Peasants’ Revolt

  12–15 JUNE 1381

  MERRY OLD ENGLAND HAS REACHED boiling point. King Richard II, just fourteen, is perceived to be in thrall to a coterie of traitors and evil advisors: John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster and effectively regent during his nephew’s minority, Archbishop of Canterbury Simon of Sudbury, and the Royal Treasurer Robert Hales. After three decades of social upheaval and swingeing taxation, join the peasants, yeomen and free townspeople of Kent, Essex and London as they rise up against their oppressors. You will join the rebel bands at Blackheath, consort with its leaders WAT TYLER, JACK STRAW and the radical preacher JOHN BALL; meet the KING’S BARGE AT ROTHERHITHE and then, with the angry London mob, STORM LONDON BRIDGE and take the city on the feast of Corpus Christi. This is an unparalleled opportunity to experience medieval London, its architectural eccentricities, rich social mix and odours, but don’t linger for too long; all across the city you can see and join the febrile arc of rebellion, mob anarchy and counterrevolution.

  BRIEFING: ENGLAND IN REVOLT

  The PEASANTS’ REVOLT emerged from three decades of tumult in medieval England. The Black Death that had swept Eurasia in the 1340s and 1350s killed over one third of the population of England. With land plentiful and labour in short supply the fundamental balance of power between the nobility and the peasantry shifted in favour of the latter. Bondsmen evaded their obligations, and moved to other manors or towns and the cost of labour soared despite repeated attempts to legally control wages. Serfdom was collapsing despite the draconian ORDINANCE OF LABOURERS and STATUTE OF LABOURERS that tried to keep them in place.

  A widespread breakdown in feudal authority was made worse by the death of Edward III in 1377, when his son, now Richard II, was only ten; rule by his regent, his uncle John of Gaunt, the Duke of Lancaster, was widely reviled. The disastrous fo
reign policy conducted by Gaunt (who will be in the north of England during the rebellion signing another peace deal with the Scots) – above all the long-running and unwinnable Hundred Years’ War with the French – required the levying of three monumentally costly POLL TAXES on the whole English population in 1377, 1379 and 1381. The first two had been met by some resistance and much evasion, but it was the third poll tax, due to be collected in June 1381, that finally ignited widespread protests in Essex and Kent. These led to systematic attacks on tax collectors and landowners and the organised BURNING OF LEGAL RECORDS of estates, churches and religious orders that specified feudal obligations and rents.

  The rebel movement positioned itself politically by claiming to be for ‘KING RICHARD AND THE COMMONS’, and only against the traitors and incompetents who had led him astray. So when the message came to the Kentish rebels that the King would receive them near Blackheath, then outside London, they marched on the capital in their tens of thousands.

  THE TRIP

  Visitors will be arriving around lunchtime on Tuesday 12 June 1381 on the scrubby open lands of BLACKHEATH. These lie on the south side of the Thames about a mile upriver from the Tower of London and the City itself. You will find yourself among a gathering band of provincial rebels and lower-class Londoners, awaiting a meeting with King Richard II.

  THE PRIEST JOHN BALL (ON HORSEBACK) ENCOURAGING WAT TYLER’S REBELS – DEPICTED, ODDLY, IN FULL ARMOUR IN THIS 1470 MANUSCRIPT OF JEAN FROISSART’S CHRONICLES.

  For our more intrepid medievalists, we are now making available two longer excursions. These will allow you to experience the initial risings in Essex and Kent before arriving at Blackheath; though note that a basic level of equestrian skills and physical fitness will be required.

  ESSEX ARISE

  A full twelve days longer than the London-only excursion, this trip puts you down on 30 MAY at the edge of the market town of BRENTWOOD, ESSEX, where a meeting of the local Justices of the Peace with villagers will erupt into organised protest, the crowd refusing to pay their taxes before they run the King’s representatives out of town. A short ride on WHITSUN SUNDAY to the village of BOCKING will allow you to join a great gathering of Essex men and witness the explosion of discontent and its organised export across the county.

  Over the next week, the southern half of Essex, all of it within a day’s ride, offers wildfire action of all kinds. Visitors will be expected to join the gathering of Essex rebels on 10 JUNE at CRESSING TEMPLE near the village of Coggeshall, where the Sheriff of Essex will be killed that evening by rebel bands. The MARCH ON LONDON begins on 11 JUNE via the town of CHELMSFORD, where there will be a spectacular display of RECORD BURNING. Please note that this march will terminate at Aldgate or Ludgate, on the north bank of the Thames. You will need to make your own way south across London Bridge to Blackheath, though you may find that the gates to the city are firmly shut. You should, however, be able to catch a ferryman on the wharves east of the Tower of London.

  KENT IN FLAMES

  Visitors will arrive in DARTFORD, the epicentre of the revolt in Kent, on 5 JUNE. Rebels have been riding out to the surrounding villages to gather support and you should find a couple of thousand armed men mustering there. On the following day, 6 JUNE, you will join them on their short march to ROCHESTER, where they will take the thinly defended CASTLE and take hostage the Constable of the Castle, Sir Roger Newenton. The 7th takes you to MAIDSTONE, where the mob will be STORMING THE JAIL and releasing the charismatic and heretical preacher of liberty JOHN BALL, whose Rotherhithe sermon later in the week is not to be missed

  The most energetic visitors will then be able to join the emerging rebel leader WAT TYLER, whose bands will be marching on CANTERBURY some thirty miles to the south. On 10 JUNE you will be able to join Tyler on his entrance to CANTERBURY CATHEDRAL where he will call for the election of a new Archbishop, given the corruption of the old one. He will also call for the townspeople to name any ‘traitors’ in their midst. Three beheadings and a town-wide riot will follow while the rebels take the castle and break open the jail. On the following morning Tyler will recieve a royal messenger with the proposal that the rebels meet KING RICHARD in person near BLACKHEATH. For those who would like to take a mid-revolt breather, we recommend waiting things out in MAID-STONE or DARTFORD (Rochester is particularly prone to fire and riot), from where you will be able to rejoin Tyler’s returning band as it heads towards Blackheath in the late afternoon of 11 June.

  Whichever package you have chosen, and whatever route has brought you to BLACKHEATH, take a moment now to orient yourself; you will need to return here for your departure on the morning of June 16th. The small hamlet of GREENWICH is immediately to your north and it is here, on the low hill, that most of the leadership of the rebellion will be gathering. Follow the track across the heath away from the river and you will see two right hand turns. The first will take you down to ROTHERHITHE, where the rebels will be meeting King Richard; the second takes you to SOUTHWARK, the notorious suburb that sits on the south side of the river opposite London Bridge.

  CITY LIFE

  There are 354 TAVERNS within the walls of the City of London, so getting a drink shouldn’t be a problem. Note, taverns are the upper end of the market serving only wine and food. The presence of linen tablecloths is a good guide to the best of them. The standard tipple is a BORDEAUX RED at a penny a cup; don’t ask for claret, as the term won’t come into use for another couple of centuries. Alternatively LEPE and OSEY are decent and strong Iberian whites. Better, but more expensive, RHENISH WINES at 2d a cup should also be available. Food in these establishments will revolve around ROAST MEATS and PIES.

  London also boasts innumerable ALE HOUSES, with an altogether rougher clientele and more raucous atmosphere. Do keep an eye on your purse and your back in these establishments. As well as ALE, CIDER and MEAD should be on sale and basic nibbles like DARK BREAD and CHEESE. Street-food sellers are normally a big feature of fourteenth-century London, but the state of chaos that will prevail for most of your visit means that they will be around less than normal. Nonetheless, do look out for enterprising PIEMEN, BAKERS and FRUIT SELLERS. A word of warning on MEAT PIES: unscrupulous bakers have been known to mince up rotting carcasses to fill their wares.

  London food markets and merchants would normally be a healthier alternative: in the month of June they should be full of soft fruits and spring vegetables. But, again, conditions of urban riot and mob rule will make trading difficult over the Corpus Christi weekend.

  WHAT TO WEAR

  The changing class structure of fourteenth-century England, and the threat to the established order of social mobility from below, has seen the introduction of increasingly punitive sumptuary laws. These have specified the kinds of fur, emblems, cloth and types of clothing that each layer of the social hierarchy can wear. But, like the rest of the feudal law, it has been breaking down. Over the main weekend of the Peasants’ Revolt, for security reasons it will be best to dress modestly. It would be unfortunate to be mistaken for a lawyer, tax collector or juror during the worst of the mob violence in London. For both men and women travellers, we suggest clothes befitting someone above the rank of yeoman, perhaps a lowly townsperson or a junior scribe. We recommend: for gentlemen, hose (but not brightly coloured), a THIGH-LENGTH COAT and DOUBLET (go easy on the fur on the cuffs and the collars); for ladies, a LINEN SMOCK, a plain GROUND-LENGTH TUNIC, or KIRTLE, with narrow sleeves and surcoat.

  ACCOMMODATION

  Advance reservations have been made for you in two locations: outside of the city walls at the TABARD INN in Southwark and within the city walls at the LAMB TAVERN in Leadenhall Market. The former will be a safer and more secure evening venue, but the Lamb Tavern does keep you very close to the action. Feel free to use both. Payment will be required in advance and on arrival. Normal prices would be in the region of 1d for a bed for the night, 2d for a meal (more for meat and wine). We suggest budgeting for 4d per person at least. Your HORSES will nee
d stabling and fodder, and that’s another 2d each. Given the breakdown in social order, be prepared for a certain degree of price inflation. Beds are basic wooden frames strung with rope, but you can expect at least two straw and hemp mattresses per person.

  HEALTH CARE

  The last major outbreak of bubonic plague in southern England was in 1369; nonetheless all travellers will need to be fully up to date with PLAGUE VACCINE. In addition visitors must be inoculated against TYPHOID, TUBERCULOSIS and HEPATITIS. However, the most likely medical problem you will encounter will be in your guts and bowel. Emergency supplies of imodium will be supplied to travellers.

  On such a short trip the danger of contracting LEPROSY is very slight; so do not be alarmed by the presence of lepers in London and on the roads in Essex and Kent.

  TUESDAY 12 JUNE: MEETING THE REBELS

  The crowd on BLACKHEATH will be tired, hungry and expectant. Much of the day will be consumed by gathering firewood for the night ahead, pitching what little cover people have brought with them and waiting for a message from the King. Listen out for the FANTASTICAL RUMOURS that are sweeping through this volatile temporary encampment; Queen Joan apparently has blessed the rebellion, and the Earl of Buckinghamshire is about to declare for the people. The rebel leadership, on the hill near the river, will send their hostage, SIR JOHN NEWENTON, to the Tower of London just a mile or so away. In the late afternoon, you may see two mounted royal heralds approach the hill. They will be delivering a summons from the King to meet at Rotherhithe the next morning.

  An interesting afternoon and comfortable evening is available in SOUTHWARK (where you have a room booked at the Tabard Inn). We suggest that you arrive there by 4pm at the latest, as by 6pm much of the neighbourhood will be in flames. The first target of the rebels, who you will see joined by many Southwark towns-men, will be the MARSHALSEA PRISON next door to the inn. Over the course of the evening a number of houses belonging to Richard Imworth, keeper of the King’s Bench Prison at Southwark and a local hate figure, will be burned, as will the houses and records of identified jurors and tax collectors. In the late evening many rebels will head west out of Southwark and march on LAMBETH PALACE, the home of the Archbishop of Canterbury. You should find this mob relatively restrained. The main purposes of the occupation will be finding and burning archiepiscopal records and the opening of the Bishop’s casks of wine. The party going on at the palace kitchen is particularly lively; listen out for the popular song of the day, ‘A Revel and a Revel’.