Forever Breathing (Just Breathe #3)

by Heather Allen

  “I’m just so relieved that Alex is still alive.”

  James crosses my room and sits on my bed.

  “Um Ever, when were you planning to go back?”

  I shrug my shoulders, “I guess tonight.”

  He rests his elbows on his knees and stays silent.

  I can tell he is thinking about something so I ask, “How are things here? How are mom and dad?”

  He doesn’t look up but answers, “They are good, not home right now, lucky for you.”

  Nonchalantly he adds hesitantly, “Ever, he’s here.”

  I ask for clarification, “Who’s here James?”

  Under his breath he mutters, “Alex.”

  I suddenly can’t breathe. I gasp for air after a few seconds. Oh my god, one minute I think he is dead and a few hours later, I find out not only is he still alive, but on land with my brother.

  I leap up and stand in front of James not sure what to do with my hands. I want to cross my arms to shame him but I also want to hug him for telling me the truth.

  He looks up worried. I can tell just from that look there must be more.

  “What is it James, don’t keep things from me. By now you know better.”

  He shakes his head, “No, I was always against that, you’re a big girl and finally making decisions.”

  I smirk at his remark.

  “Then tell me, why is he here?”

  “Ever, I’ll tell you but truthfully, if you aren’t in a hurry to go back, I think you should hear everything from him.”

  My heart starts beating a thousand beats a minute at the thought of seeing Alex again. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.

  I plead, “James, I really need to go back, can’t you just tell me?”

  He shakes his head looking down at my worn, brown carpet.

  “I really shouldn’t. He needs to tell you. He knew you’d come back. I don’t know how he knew but he said that

  This makes every alarm go off in my head but I turn a blind eye to them. If James won’t tell me then I will just have to see Alex. He’s never denied the answers to my questions before, why would he start now?

  I walk toward the door, “Can you check and make sure no one’s home so I can get a shower?”

  He gets up and leaves; coming back a few seconds later to let me know the coast is clear.

  ***

  As James drives the jeep toward the lake, I relax with the familiarity of the trip. It’s been awhile since I made this trip. I glance out the window at the dense growth surrounding the road. Small sage brush bushes grow along the road. Wildflowers are blooming across the fields in every color. They remind me of the ocean’s version of wildflowers, the beautiful coral dotting the bottom of the sea. It’s amazing how I can feel at peace in both surroundings when they are so vast and different. The engine halts and I realize we have arrived at the lake. I scan the lake and surrounding grassy field noting that we are the only people here.

  I turn to James and ask, “Does he know we’re coming?”

  He nods, “I called him when you were in the shower.”

  I look away unsure about how I feel about that. James seems awfully close to Alex suddenly. I peek over at my brother again and realize how much he has really changed yet again. He’s taller, his seat is pushed way back so his legs can fit. He’s also let his dirty blonde hair grow out a bit. It’s longer, reaching the nape of his neck.

  We sit there for a few minutes silent, each of us in our own thoughts. I can tell he is still hurting over Sara. His approach to things doesn’t seem like the usual upbeat James. A bit of sadness seems to tinge his voice when he speaks. I hope he finds someone new soon, if for nothing but to take his mind off of Sara.

  “Hey, how is the band? Have you been playing?”

  He nods, “Yeah, I really missed it. It’s one of the main reasons I came back.”

  He turns to me more serious this time, “Ever, I’m not sure I want to go back.”

  This doesn’t surprise me but it does make me a little sad. I guess with the changes, now that the Erebus are in charge, we will still be able to see each other.

  I nod in response. Before I can say anything a black truck pulls up beside us. Memories concerning that truck flood back to me and I blush. Twice I kissed him in or near that truck. I did, not him. Why am I letting this get to me? I have Jack now, finally, the one person meant for me. Why am I even thinking about Alex in that way?

  The passenger door beside me opens abruptly and I’m greeted with those vibrant green eyes that are so familiar. I search his face for his mood. He seems genuinely happy to see me.

  “Hello beautiful! Long time no see!”

  I smile, “Hi you!”

  He holds his arms out and steps back. I climb out and fall into them. Any apprehension I was feeling, melts away. I missed this guy. Jack is so my one and only but I can’t live without Alex either. This realization hits me hard as I remember my recent sadness when I thought he was dead.

  I pull away and punch his arm gently, “Don’t do that to me again.”

  He smiles, “And what exactly did I do?”

  “I thought you were…gone…”

  He nods and jokes, “Well if you had decided to hang around a bit longer, you would have known I got out of the city before the fighting got intense. I would have taken you with me.”

  He lets the real meaning of this settle and I take a step back. Of course he wants to settle back into the way we were when Jack was gone.

  I brush it off smirking, “Well I’m good, thanks for asking.”

  James pipe in, “I’ll just go over here.”

  We both look at him as he nods and walks away toward the other side of the lake.

  As I turn back to Alex, he shakes his head and leans against his truck crossing his arms. Oh man, he is still so nice looking. He’s done the opposite of James; he’s gone and cut off all of his long blonde locks. It works for him though. Actually, I like it better short.

  I avert my eyes and look at the ground, moving my foot in the dirt, completely uncomfortable, all of the sudden. He steps forward and puts his finger under my chin. I raise my eyes and see his amused smile. Same pushy Alex, how could I have forgotten?

  “Really Ever, you could still come with me.”

  I frown and take yet another step back so his hand falls from my chin.

  “You know I can’t, nor do I want to. Alex, I’m with Jack. It’s where I belong.”

  He shakes his head, “But he hurt you, I would never hurt you...”

  I sigh. This is going nowhere so I cut him off, “James said you have something to tell me, so spill it.”

  He takes a deep breath, looks everywhere but my face and starts, “I’m here to warn you.”

  His voice turns soft, “I care about you and I really want to keep you safe. No Ever, let me rephrase that,” His eyes rest on mine, “Ever, I love you, and the only safe place for you is with me.”

  I’m completely shocked and speechless. No, this isn’t right. Alex can’t love me. I don’t love him back.

  I step away again and firmly tell him, “Alex, you are so wonderful and I care about you. You are a very special friend to me, but I can’t give you anything more than that.” I plead further as his face falls, “Please understand. “

  His demeanor seems to change instantly and he’s all business suddenly, “Like I said, I’m here to warn you. Remember when I told you there are other cities and populations of mer-people?ont utspeople?

  I nod frowning not understanding what he is trying to tell me.

  “Many of the cities battled Erebus clans recently. None of the cities were defeated by Erebus, only Seamus’. The cities have been alerted to what happened here. They are gathering strength by joining forces and they are coming here.” He stops to let me absorb his meaning.

  I think the bottom of my stomach falls out as the realization that things are far from over, hits me. I do what I do best and sink to the ground, leaning against the jeep.
>
  He stands there for a few minutes staring down at me. James walks up beside him and asks, “Did you tell her?”

  Alex answers, “Yes, I think she gets it.”

  I look up at both of them and shield my eyes as the sun’s ray’s shine behind them. Alex crouches down and grabs my hand in his.

  “Ever, this is why you should come with me. When they get to the city, it will be destroyed and anyone against them will be destroyed as well.”

  I shake my head fervently, “No, I can’t… I have to warn them.”

  I get up and start to open the door to the jeep but then turn back toward him, “When you said you came to warn us… Where exactly did you go Alex… when you left?”

  He squirms a little, “I went to the city near, Peru, where they’re planning an… attack.

  I turn back to him and slap him across his cheek. I didn’t exactly mean to, yet I did. He doesn’t even look surprised.

  I yell, “How could you? Why would you go against us?”

  He gathers me in his arms again and I let him, my energy is gone suddenly.

  Then I hear the voice I live for and know the trouble is just starting again. My heart stops as I turn and see him walking toward us.

  &nbsze=ze="+0"p;

  Chapter 6

  James

  I watch as Ever goes through every shade of emotion there is as Alex explains about the other Mer- clans. This is a large part of why I have no desire to go back. The destruction I witnessed so recently was enough to last me a lifetime.

  She totally loses it when he tells her where he’s been. I about lost it too when he told me last week. I still don’t get why Alex has gone off and joined the next clan of Lior over, but maybe I’ll never understand.

  When she slapped him I was a bit shocked. She’s been known to overreact but shies away from confrontation, usually.

  “Why don’t you get your hands off of her?” I turn and find Jack standing a distance away.

  He looks pissed. I turn back toward Ever and Alex and realize he’s hugging her. She quickly pushes away from him and a look of horror passes over her face. She immediately runs to Jack as he walks toward us. He doesn’t give her a glance. I know there’s a fight about to go down. I almost want to let it happen. Both these dudes deserve an ass beating, as far as I’m concerned, just for getting involved with my sister. But of course I do the right thing, like always, of late. Maybe I’ll change my tune in the near future.

  I walk so that I am angled between them. Jack is still walking toward us and Alex looks tense like he’s ready for a throw down.

  Jack stops in front of me and says under his breath still glaring at Alex, “James, you should go.”

  All the while, Ever is grasping his arm pleading with him to stop.

  I shake my head, “Jack, you know I can’t do that. What will this solve?”

  He finally averts his eyes and looks at me, “Nothing except to keep his grubby hands off my girl.”

  He looks over to Ever, “You need to go home.”

  She frowns and completely loses it.

  “Jack, look at me, really look at me. I am not going anywhere without you. You are overreacting. Don’t you realize that you have me fully and none of this macho bullshit is going to solve anything?”

  He looks at Alex and back to Ever but stays silent.

  Ever rants louder this time, “What are you going to do, beat his ass, then what? You lied to me. All of this is your fault anyway. If you would have just told me he was alive, we wouldn’t even be here.”

  This seems to stop him and gets his attention. He looks suddenly like he’s in pain. His face goes soft and he gathers her in his arms and whispers something to her.

  This, I don’t need to see. I walk away. Obviously, there won’t be a fight now. I turn and clap Alex on the shoulder. He nods at me, “Thanks dude, I didn’t want to have to beat his ass.”

  I smirk. It would have been a pretty fair fight, might have been interesting to see who came out on top.

  I mumble, “Yotilu might want to be the one to explain everything to Jack. She will probably lose it in the process.”

  He agrees and looks over, wincing.

  I don’t even want to know. I walk around and climb into the jeep to turn on some tunes. I sink back into the seat and try to lose myself in the music. But my demons rise up and the face that haunts my dreams and waking moments comes into focus. I definitely need a distraction. Coming back didn’t do the job I’d hoped for.

  Chapter 7

  Ever

  It took my pleading with Jack and blaming him again to get him to stop from going after Alex. Who could blame him? I was in Alex’s arms when he walked up. I would be furious too if it were Sara in his arms. UGH, just the thought of that makes my skin crawl. I finally convinced him to stop with the trump card, guilt. I tried to appeal in every other way, but in the end it was the guilt that got him. Why is this so big with him? I’m the guilty one here. I left him to confront my brother and ended up being comforted by Alex. I look up at him and wonder if this is the basis of our relationship. Can we survive without the guilt? Are we both at each other’s mercy because we’ve caused so much pain to one another?

  I reach up and ruffle his hair. He lowers his mouth to mine and just like that my momentary doubts have flitted away.

  I hear Alex clear his throat. Shit, I forgot for a second that he was here. And enter the guilt once again… I look up and see the hurt in his eyes. I quickly avert my stare. This is not my job. I am his friend, nothing more. He needs to find someone else to comfort him.

  “Jack, as I told Ever, I am here to warn you. I will give you all the information I know then I need to leave.”

  Jack looks down at me and puts his arm possessively around my shoulders. Men are so dumb. I let him bask in his possession of me, why not? I seriously doubt Alex will look at me as an object of desire again. This saddens me briefly but also brings a spark of relief. Maybe he will finally get it, I am with Jack and it is forever.

  Alex leans against his truck as he explains that the other Lior have joined forces and are planning an attack on our city.

  I ask, “But if other Erebus are trying to take down other cities, why are they only attacking us?”

  He explains looking only at me, “Remember I explained that the other cities were afrai Fl="p wd of Seamus and they all looked to our city for guidance?”

  I nod.

  “Well, they are afraid Jaspen will rise up and takes Seamus’ place. This is a fear among all the cities, in fact probably the only thing they are agreeing on these days.”

  Jack asks, “Will you come back to the city with us to tell Jaspen all that you know?”

  Alex shakes his head sadly, “Jack, you know I can’t. You, of all people know how this thing works. Once upon a time you and I stood for the same thing.”

  Jack nods slowly, “You’re right, I can’t ask you to do that.”

  He looks over at me and continues, “Sometimes we find things we don’t even know we need and they become more important than anything else.” His eyes bore into me as his words hang in the air and any doubt I had about us, dissipates. I have to hold every fiber of my being back from pouncing on him.

  He looks back to Alex.

  “So I do understand but I also hope that you find what you’re looking for.”

  I smirk inwardly, knowing the double meaning in Jack’s statement.

  They shake hands and I watch as Alex climbs into his truck, starts the engine, and drives away. A little piece of me is sad to watch him go. A larger part of me is ecstatic that he is safe.

  ***

  As soon as Alex was out of sight I took advantage and did the pouncing thing. Memories of our time together at the lake come flooding back. A time when things were still so new and unbeknownst to me back then, simpler.

  I break away from him and tease for old time’s sake, “How about best out of three?” I run to the lake, stripping down to my bathing suit as I go. His fo
otsteps echo behind me. I smile and bask in the moment. Things are about to get real complicated. I’m determined to keep us uncomplicated.

  We swim for an hour and Jack beats me all three times we race. We both willed fins and raced for real this time. He won fair and square, I guess. We end up in the exact spot on the bank where we landed so many months ago. I snuggle into the crook of his arm and doze off as the sun warms my skin.

  ***

  Whispered voices and darkness wakes me from a very pleasant dream in which Jack had my full attention.

  “James, we have to go back and face this. If we don’t, what was the point in defeating the Lior in the first place?”

  James’ voice is strained, “Why would you risk her life though. You are finally together and you’re going to let this get between you again.”

  My eyes are still closed as I listen. I feel Jack shift beneath me.

  “My whole life has been spent fighting for the wrong cause. It took having her and losing her to realize that there are other things worth fighting for. This is her life K isghtnow too and we have to do what is right. I was wrong for so long. It’s time I made things right.

  I feel him take a deep breath beneath me and he adds, “We are going to need you, James.”

  James’ voice comes out cracked, “I know she will be disappointed but I can’t. Too many things have gone wrong for me there. I’ve gone back and forth with my decision but I’m staying here.”

  Jack shifts a little more causing my head to slide further down his arm which is completely uncomfortable so I decide to let them know I’m awake.

  I squirm a little and pretend to groggily open my eyes. I’m a terrible actress, hopefully they don’t notice.

  When I open my eyes Jack is staring down at me. His piercing blue eyes look completely at peace. I crawl back up into his arms. He lowers his lips to mine barely touching them. This drives me a little mad so I move closer and deepen the kiss. Tingles spread down my body and the familiar, I’ve died and gone to heaven feeling, overtakes me. His hand moves down my back and softy makes swirling motions tickling my skin.