Forever Breathing (Just Breathe #3)

by Heather Allen

  He grins praising me, “Ever, you did a great job tonight. They are all convinced you are here to help. No one suspected anything else.”

  I shrug my shoulders indifferent. Yes, I came intending on doing this exact thing but I kind of feel like I’m walking uphill through a hurricane. What is all of this really going to achieve? We are a tiny city in comparison to this one. On top of that, at least seven other whole cities are going to help Roman. It’s going to be horrible. I don’t even want to think about it.

  He frowns, “I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been a very good friend. You being here is kind of hard for me.”

  I look up at him surprised. Are we really going there? I thought this whole promised thing had him convinced that he needs to back away. Come on…I don’t want to have this conversation for the twentieth time.

  I push myself out of the chair and tell him, “Alex, I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”

  I swim past him and head to my room.

  He calls after me softly, “Ever, I found my promised…”

  I stop dead and hover in the water not sure if I heard him correctly.

  I slowly turn around and wait to see if I am misunderstanding what he is saying.

  He swims closer stopping at the end of the hallway, filling the space with his bulky frame. He rests his hands on the walls.

  “It’s Celia.”

  I’m speechless. This explains the death stare from her and her curt remark. But why would he be happy to see me and look hopeful for us when he had already found her? Suddenly, I’m not sure I really know Alex.

  I swim back over to him and wait for more. I have a feeling there’s a shit- ton more.

  “You might want to sit down for this.”

  I shake my head and cross my arms across my chest.

  He sighs, “Why are you always so stubborn?”

  He shakes his head and starts, “When you left me during the battle, I was distraught with worry for you. I was afraid something would happen to you like it did the last time I wasn’t there to watch over you. I went to find you just to make sure you were safe. At least that’s what I told myself.”

  He swims back into the big room and I follow. When he turns back around I can see fresh pain on his face, “I saw you with Jack. I knew then that I never really had a chance.”

  I feel bad for his sudden hurt but I don’t regret my choices for one moment.

  “I went back to the city. It wasn’t about the Lior anymore really. I was convinced that I just needed to get away and move on. I ran into Metea, she was a mess with Seamus’ death and Mersa was no help. She talked me into accompanying her to this city where she would be safe. It was the perfect way for me to get away. I agreed but planned to return to the city. I wasn’t on any side at that point, the Lior winning the battle didn’t matter to me anymore.”

  He swims over to the chair and sits. His gaze meetsHisning mine. I can see the pain as if everything happened moments and not weeks ago.

  “Roman took me right in and took my charity towards Metea for a desire to join him. I didn’t care at that point. I just wanted to forget about you.”

  His harsh words hurt me. I know I should be glad that he wanted to move on but it hurts nonetheless.

  “That first night Roman hosted a dinner for Metea. I met his daughter, Celia.”

  He looks up at me for my reaction. Again, I am completely shell-shocked. I probably shouldn’t be surprised that Celia is Roman’s daughter but I am. The plot thickens as they say.

  I swim over and rest on my fin in front of him on the floor.

  He looks scared now.

  “The journey here with Metea was painful. She kept talking about how her promised was dead and she should be too. I learned then what it meant, to be promised.”

  He lets out a deep breath and sits silent for a moment before continuing.

  “Ever, from the moment I met Celia I wanted to run away and go back to the city but knew I could never leave. I would never be able to leave.”

  I frown and ask, “But I thought your promised is who you are supposed to love and be with forever. Why did you want to come back if she is that person for you?”

  He shakes his head. His eyes turn to that clear, light green color or maybe it’s just the reflection in the water but his usual confidence returns and his voice sounds more assured.

  “I do love her. I love her with everything and that is why I can’t leave. I want to help you. I know you have finally found your place but I can’t leave. Do you understand?”

  Oh boy do I understand. The words he didn’t utter speak volumes. I get it now and I know why he didn’t want to tell me. Oh the predicaments we put ourselves in.

  I grab his hand and squeeze it.

  “Alex, I do get it. You can’t leave her but you don’t really believe in this fight.”

  He nods looking ashamed.

  “Hey, I don’t like it one bit but I can’t fault you for this. Jack is who I think about when I wake up in the morning and who I think about when I fall asleep at night. It’s an amazing thing and I’m glad I can experience it. I’m glad you get to experience it now.”

  I take a deep breath and continue with the number one question that keeps popping up in my thoughts “If you found Celia when you came here then why were you so hopeful when I came here. You had me convinced that you still thought we had a chance.”

  He smiles and his adorable dimple shows itself.

  “I wanted to have a little bit of fun with you. I knew about the promised thing and I was pretty sure you didn’t, so I played along. You are really a terrible actress, you know. But tonight I think you redeemed yourself. Ramous couldn’t stop talking about you.”

  I stifle a chuckle, “And how is Celia honight I tokay with all of this? She must be furious with you.”

  He runs his hand through his hair and his smile disappears.

  “That is a bit complicated. I asked her not to tell anyone about us.”

  I don’t think I heard him right. How can Alex hold back? I know he can’t. When he wants someone or something, he goes after it. I know this first hand.

  “I didn’t want Roman to find out. At first it was because he was so intimidating and she is his daughter. Then as I learned their plans, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be a part of them. I had almost convinced Celia to come away with me. Then… you showed up.”

  My mouth hangs open. What? How did I come into this?

  “Ever, close your mouth. It’s okay. She is not happy about you being here but I told her we could stay as long as she kept us a secret for a little while longer. She agreed to play along with this too.” He gestures between us.

  I argue, “’No Alex, do you know what you are saying? You can’t stay here if you…. I am so sorry.”

  I lower my head to my hands. Such an idiot. There you go ruining someone’s life again, Ever.

  I feel his palm on my shoulder.

  “Ever, this is not your fault. I am tied to her. If this is where we are to be, then we will stay. I’ve accepted this. Which is why, I am going to help you in any way I can. Then it will be best if you go back home and help get ready in any way you can. It’s going to be a tough fight.”

  I glance up and see that genuine smile of Alex’s, my friend. It gives me a tiny bit of hope but only a tiny bit.

  Chapter 30

  James

  When we enter the meeting room it is vastly different than the last time I was here. This time every bench is filled and some people are standing around. All the faces staring back at us look grief stricken but I notice pride there too. Somehow, through this, they have retained that and I am glad for it because what Alody and I are about to tell them is going to require they have that pride and hope too.

  Alody walks to the front of the room with me following, her small hand lost in mine.

  She blinks a few times and takes a deep breath, “Thank you for coming on such short notice. Let me first thank you for your support and help during these hard t
imes while my father was sick.”

  She looks away, I knond w, to gather her courage. This must be so hard. I squeeze her hand and step closer so that I am beside her.

  She looks back out over the crowd of people. Her voice takes on a fierce air, “We are Erebus, we didn’t choose this, as my father always said, but we sure as hell will fight for it. Because we are Erebus and we can choose. The most important thing is the gift of choice. Roman wants to take that away from us. He wants to send us back because we don’t fit in his perfect little world. We can’t let him. Too many of us have found our place here under the waves; we have to fight for that.”

  She looks over to me at this point. I am in awe of her and love her all the more. I didn’t know her father but I can tell he instilled in her, his beliefs and she is so strong. I know this next part is going to be the hardest, convincing these innocent people, even though the odds are hugely against them, that they still must fight with everything they have.

  I step up, release her hand and clear my throat, “I know my face is new around here. You don’t know much about me except that I will stand by Alody for the rest of my life until I take my last breath. I want you to know that I too need this choice. The sea is new for me. I haven’t been here very long but I’ve come to realize through this new world what is important and worth fighting for. This is worth it, the right to choose, who to love and where to exist. When I came here, to your caves, I learned things about myself I never would have dreamed. So with this I must tell you what I know. The city I have come from was ruled by Seamus for over a thousand years but it was taken by Erebus fighting for choices just as you are here. Jaspen, Roman’s brother led this fight and he won. The odds were hugely against him but he was able to take over the city and now everyone there is free to choose. They are free to live on land or in the water. And they are free to love who they want and find their promised.

  I pause letting everything I’ve said sink in. This is where I have to sell them.

  “Roman is going to Jaspen’s city. He plans to take the choice they so recently won, away. We can’t let that happen. We must join with Jaspen and fight for what is right.”

  At this point the chatter spreads through the room. I expected this to happen. It’s going to be hard to convince them, but Jasepn won’t have a chance if he doesn’t get more support.

  One man shouts out, “We’ve already lost so many with Roman’s recent attack and Derek is gone. Why should we help a city that has nothing to do with us?”

  I’m about to answer but I feel Alody’s hand on my arm so I take a step back.

  Her voice softens, “I know this is hard for all of us. My dad isn’t here to lead us but I know we will be fine if we remember all that we stand for. I admit this will be very hard and we have already lost so much. If we don’t do this though, we will always be looking over our shoulders wondering when Roman will strike again. We won’t have our family as we have for so long.”

  She looks up at me and I’m falling deeper for her. Never would I have imagined so many days ago when I saw this tiny girl and she jabbed me with that spear, telling me she was the leader, th0">leadeat she was telling the truth. But I stand here staring into those bright green eyes and see it. She is the leader of these people and I will follow her wherever she goes. I am completely and intricately woven to this girl forever.

  I glance back over the crowd. They are still whispering and discussing things but I see some people nodding among them. I also see that look on their faces, the look of hope and fight. I know right then and there that Jaspen might have a chance, albeit a small one.

  Jenna walks up and asks Alody quietly, “May I?” Gesturing to the crowd before us, Alody steps back giving Jenna the floor.

  She starts, “Alody has now lost her mother and her father but still she holds strong to their beliefs. You ask who will lead us. She will, of course. She was born to lead us and I for one will follow her to the ends of the earth if that means fighting for what is right.”

  I see nods around the room and not one person speaks up to disagree.

  Alody steps up again thanking Jenna quietly. She turns to look out to everyone.

  “We will leave tomorrow night. We can’t let Roman know we are joining in the fight. Tomorrow we will gather all the weapons we can and stock up for the journey. The caves are far, off the coast of California. It will be a long journey. So rest up tonight. I know some of you will need to stay back. At this point, I doubt Roman will bother with you. He obviously has bigger things in mind.”

  Everyone gets up and disperses as she finishes. She turns to me and mouths quietly, “Thank you.”

  I smile at her watching as people walk up to her offering hugs and patting her on the back. Peacefulness washes over me at this point. I think I’ve finally found my place. I thought before when I first became a mer-man that I was meant for it and then I kept having second thoughts. It was always for the wrong reasons. Now though, I think I’ve finally got it right. Alody.

  Thoughts of my sister pop into my head. I have to find her when we get to the city. I think a trip home in the future is going to be called for. We can’t keep this from our parents any longer. Not if we have both found a place among these people.

  Chapter 31

  Ever

  I hear his voice quietly whisper but I can’t find him. “Ever, where are you? I can’t find you.n="ca I frown, why is Jack here? I left him at home. Suddenly my heart has picked up it’s pace. He can’t be here, it’s not safe. I yell out, “Jack, I’m here. Why are you here? It’s not safe for you.” He answers right back but I still can’t see him. “I came to look for you, where are you?” I look around and finally realize why I can’t see anything. The water is murky reminding me of the lake back home on a rainy day. But as I look closer, it’s tinted pink, not the green I am used to. I try to move to find Jack but pain lashes through me. I stop moving and focus, it’s coming from my fin. I glance to the end of my fin and spot the culprit. I’m stuck between two huge rocks. Jack calls out again, “Ever, I still can’t see you…” and his voice fades.

  I sit up suddenly and get my bearings. Realizing I’m still in Alex’s dwelling, I swim out to check and see if he’s here. This dream took a different turn. For some reason now Jack is in the dream instead of Alex.

  I stop in front of his closed door, reaching out to turn the handle. But I hear muffled voices inside. I recognize Alex’s and a feminine voice. I quickly turn in the direction of my room not wanting to eavesdrop especially because it’s probably Celia. I should get as far away as possible. I wouldn’t like this situation any more than she does, if it were Jack instead of Alex. Before I can get far down the hall I hear screaming. I stop and wait. My inner voice tells me, Ever, what are you doing? It’s not your business. I ignore it and turn back toward his room. I hear his voice trying to soothe her, then more screaming and crying.

  I push my ear up to the door. Oh, what am I doing? Their voices are still muffled but I can hear her pleading with Alex.

  Yep, definitely Celia, “I want to tell them. It will be so much easier.”

  Then Alex’s voice, “I told you, when Ever is far from here and safe, then and only then can we tell them.”

  Her voice turns angry, “I don’t understand why you are protecting her. I’m your promised, not her.”

  His voice slows as if trying to explain, “Celia, I am responsible for her. If you haven’t forgotten, it was your sister who tried to kill her twice.”

  My heart stops and I back away from the door. Her sister? Alex responsible? Maybe they aren’t talking about me. My heart speeds up. What does all this mean? Sara is Celia’s sister? Oh wow, I feel a tingle form at the end of my tail reminding me of the dream I just had. This can’t be happening. If Sara is Celia’s sister and…I can’t even imagine where this goes. There must be so much I still don’t know. I manage to swim back to my room before the darkness comes. I welcome it because I need a break from thinking, there’s just too much…


  ***

  I wake dreamless and exhausted from my minor fainting spell. It was very welcome though. Now I’m not sure I want to go back to Jack just yet. If I leave, I will probably never find out the truth about what Alex and Celia were talking about. Jack was forbidden from returning to the city when he city whefailed to help Sara choose land instead of the sea. But if Sara is Roman’s daughter, then she was already a member of the sea. Crap! There must be a lot I don’t know. Alex has been trying to protect me but I must know. This is part of my relationship with Jack. I wonder if Jack knows. There is no way he knows. I am beginning to questions things again. Have they all been lying to me?

  I have to find out and I think I know exactly who will tell me the truth.

  I glance at the door, wondering if I should tell Alex where I’m off to, but decide against it. He hasn’t been completely truthful.

  I close my eyes and focus on the castle. The water shifts around me. I open my eyes and find myself looking at the immense structure. A mer-man is swimming toward me.

  He approaches and asks, “What is your business here?”

  I hold my head high and answer with the only thing that I know will get me in, “I came to speak to Roman.”

  “Follow me.”

  I follow him in through the spooky doors and down a long hall. I’ve never been in this part of the castle. He leads me into a small room with no windows and bare, white walls. “Roman will be with you in a moment.”

  I nod as he closes the door behind him. I check the handle, locked, just as I thought. This solidifies my theory even more. It occurred to me this morning when I heard about Sara. She is not the smartest person, there had to be someone behind all of this. Add to that, the fact that Roman and Jaspen are brothers. I am thinking my theory is correct, I just need Roman to validate it and I want to know where Jack falls in all of this.

  The door finally swings open after I’ve been waiting a while. Roman swims in wearing a white vest adorned with round, gold coins. Or they look like coins, anyway.