A Second Chance

by Shayne Parkinson

  ‘I hope you get a couple of heifers out of them come calving time. You’ll want to build your herd up a bit now you and Beth have started having kids.’

  That did not raise the spark of interest Frank had hoped for. ‘I just wish this could all be over, and I knew she was all right,’ David murmured.

  *

  Beth lay limp against the pillows. The front of her nightdress was drenched with sweat, and her hair was plastered to her scalp. She no longer seemed to have the strength to do more than moan when the pains took her. The months she had spent confined to bed had left her weak, and this labour was exhausting her. Amy patted at Beth’s face and neck with a cloth wrung out in cool water, and wished she could do something more to ease the girl’s suffering.

  Richard checked Beth’s heartbeat from time to time, and did what he could to reassure her that she was doing well. Things were moving along, the nurse said, but they seemed to be moving with agonizing slowness.

  *

  With the milking done and the cows moved to a fresh paddock, Frank could think of no further pretext to keep David out of the house. They were again sitting in the parlour, David picking distractedly at a worn patch on the arm of his chair, when Lizzie emerged from the bedroom.

  ‘It doesn’t sound as though anything’s happening soon,’ she said. ‘I think you’d better take me home, Frank.’

  ‘You don’t mind leaving her?’ Frank asked.

  ‘I told her I’d be back in the morning, and she said she’d be all right without me till then. She’s got Amy looking after her.’ Frank knew that Lizzie considered Amy second only to herself in competence when it came to household matters. ‘And there’s Richard for if he’s needed, and that nurse seems to know her business well enough. No, they can manage without me. I’d as soon not leave Maisie to get the dinner on by herself, let alone try and make them all behave at the table. You know what those boys are like, there’ll be a riot if I’m not there to keep an eye on them. And Rosie’ll play up for her and say she won’t go to bed, and Kate copies what she does, so they’ll have Maisie tearing her hair out.’

  Frank did not like to leave David by himself, but he had no argument to counter Lizzie’s. ‘We’re off home then, Dave,’ he said, rising to leave. David nodded, but Frank was not sure if the boy was aware of what he had said. He glanced over his shoulder as he held the kitchen door open for Lizzie. David was slumped in his chair, still staring at the door into the bedroom.

  *

  The sun was getting low in the sky, and Amy began to worry about how she was to feed the four people in the house who might have some interest in eating.

  ‘I’d better see about getting dinner on,’ she said. ‘Beth, will you be all right without me for a while?’

  To her dismay, she saw Beth’s eyes brimming with tears. ‘No,’ she whispered.

  Beth clearly did not want to be left alone with Richard, and with the nurse who was almost a stranger to her. Amy could understand her fear, but it left Amy in an awkward position. ‘I have to feed everyone, Beth. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

  Beth clutched at her hand. ‘Please, Aunt Amy. Please stay here.’

  Mrs Dalton got to her feet. ‘I’ll put a bit of food on, if you like. I’ve nothing useful to do in here till things get further along.’

  Amy was only too glad to take up the nurse’s offer. ‘There’s some cold meat left that Mrs Kelly brought over. And Dave can show you where the potatoes and carrots are.’

  Mrs Dalton looked amused when she returned to say that she had food on the table. ‘Your son insisted on peeling the potatoes himself,’ she told Amy. ‘You’ve trained him well.’

  ‘No, that was Beth,’ Amy said, patting Beth’s hand. ‘Dave never used to do anything in the kitchen till she started getting him to help.’ She saw a faint smile flit over Beth’s face.

  ‘Well, she’s made a good job of it,’ said Mrs Dalton. ‘He wanted to dish up a plate for her, but I told him she’s got more on her mind than eating dinner.’

  Richard went out to the kitchen at Mrs Dalton’s invitation, but Amy assured the nurse that she was not particularly hungry. Mrs Dalton looked sceptical, and was back a few minutes later with a plate for her.

  It did not seem right to sit at Beth’s elbow and eat while the poor girl lay exhausted and in pain. Amy got up and walked around the room, stretching her cramped legs as she picked at the food on her plate. She saw Beth following her with her eyes, too weary to speak but watching her intently. Amy ate a few mouthfuls, then put the plate down on the chest of drawers and returned to her seat.

  ‘Don’t worry, Beth. I won’t leave you on your own.’

  *

  The younger children were in bed, and peace reigned in Frank’s parlour. But he found himself unable to settle. He pictured David sitting alone in his own parlour, no doubt working himself up into worse terrors as the hours wore on. Frank remembered those long, fear-filled hours all too well.

  ‘I think I might go back over to Dave’s for a while,’ he told Lizzie. ‘It’s hard on him, waiting by himself.’

  ‘That’s a kind thought. He could do with the company—he’s as bad as you for worrying when there’s no need. Don’t go staying there all night, though.’

  ‘I won’t.’ Frank rose from his chair and placed a kiss on Lizzie’s cheek before heading for the door. ‘Don’t sit up waiting, Lizzie. I might be a while.’

  *

  Frank found David in the kitchen, drying the last of the dishes from dinner.

  ‘Still waiting, are you?’ Frank asked.

  David grimaced. ‘How much longer do you think it’ll take? That nurse wouldn’t tell me.’

  ‘I don’t know, Dave. It’s different every time.’ Frank had a vague memory that Lily had been in labour for days with her first child; he chose not to share this with David. ‘You’ve been keeping yourself busy—that’s a good idea.’

  ‘I thought it’d take my mind off worrying about her. It hasn’t,’ David said bleakly. He draped the dish towel over the back of a chair and went through to the parlour, Frank following in his wake. They sat down, and David resumed his vigil, staring at the bedroom door.

  *

  The nurse looked up from checking Beth’s progress and gave Richard a nod. ‘Nearly there, Doctor. She’s fully dilated now.’

  ‘Good.’ Richard smiled encouragement at Beth. ‘You’ve been wonderfully brave, Beth. I think it’s time I gave you something for the pain.’

  Amy had expected him to produce a wad of cloth to be soaked in chloroform, just as her old midwife had used. But instead Richard withdrew a small box from his medical bag. He opened the box to reveal two bottles, and an oddly-shaped device with a beak-like protrusion on one side. He put some liquid from each bottle into the device.

  ‘I’ll place this over your face, and all you need do is breathe deeply.’

  Beth flinched as Richard brought the mask closer. Her expression might have suggested a bird of prey was menacing her. ‘What does it do?’ she asked, her voice trembling.

  ‘It’s chloroform,’ said Richard. ‘It’ll allow you to be unconscious while the baby’s delivered. There’s no need for you to suffer through that.’

  Beth closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them to turn a pleading gaze on Richard. ‘Couldn’t I see Davie first? Please? Just for a minute—before I have to go unconscious. Just in case,’ she added in a whisper.

  ‘Beth, I don’t think—’ Amy began, but Richard held up a hand to stop her.

  ‘Do you know, I think perhaps you might,’ he said. ‘Amy, would you mind bringing David in? Just for a moment or two—he can say goodnight to Beth before she goes to sleep.’

  Amy stared at Richard, more frightened than she had been all day. For Richard to allow this, she was sure, must mean he was afraid Beth would not survive the birth.

  But speaking such things aloud was unthinkable. She waited for the nurse to arrange a sheet over Beth’s lower parts, then hurried out to the par
lour, noting vaguely that Frank had come back, and beckoned David.

  ‘You can come in and see Beth before she goes to sleep,’ she said. ‘Just for a minute.’

  David did not need to be told twice. He was through the door and crouching at the bedside almost before Amy had finished speaking.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked Beth.

  From some unexpected reserve of strength, Beth managed to produce a smile for him. ‘Yes,’ she said, in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

  ‘David, I’m afraid I can only allow you to stay for a moment,’ Richard said from the other side of the bed. ‘Beth’s being very brave, but the sooner I can put her under chloroform the sooner she’ll be out of pain.’

  David leaned forward and gently kissed Beth. ‘I’ll see you later, then.’ He went out, looking over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

  Beth gave a great shudder, and the smile she had conjured for David’s comfort turned to a grimace of pain. As Richard brought the chloroform mask close to her face she snatched at it and breathed in deeply.

  ‘That’s better, isn’t it?’ Amy said, seeing the lines of pain begin to ease from Beth’s face. ‘Now you’ll go to sleep for a while, and when you wake up it’ll all be over and you’ll have a lovely little baby.’ As she watched Beth slip into unconsciousness, she prayed fervently that it might be true.

  *

  ‘That was good you were allowed to see her,’ Frank said to David. ‘They never let me with your Aunt Lizzie.’

  David flopped back into his chair. ‘She looked that worn out and in pain. I don’t know how she’s putting up with it.’

  ‘She’s strong, like her ma. It’s a hard thing, but she’ll come through. You’ll see.’ Frank wished he could have put more conviction into his words.

  ‘What if… what if she doesn’t?’ David said, the last few words coming out in a rush. ‘I don’t know what I’ll do if Beth—’

  ‘Don’t talk like that, Dave,’ Frank interrupted. ‘That won’t do anyone any good.’

  David fell silent. ‘I can’t hear her any more,’ he said after a few moments.

  ‘They’ve put her under. That’s good—you don’t have to worry about it hurting her now.’

  ‘No,’ said David. ‘But at least when I could hear her I knew…’

  He left the words unspoken, but Frank could finish the sentence easily enough in his head: while David could hear Beth crying out, at least he knew she was still alive.

  *

  Richard took off his jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves and washed his hands. Mrs Dalton stood aside for him to take her place at the foot of the bed.

  ‘Amy, I need you to watch Beth carefully,’ he said. ‘Check her breathing—if there’s any sign that she’s struggling for breath, or any hint she might vomit, tell me at once.’

  Amy moved her chair even closer to the bed so that she could hear the rhythm of Beth’s breathing. When she felt able to risk taking her eyes from Beth for a moment, she darted a glance at Richard. She saw something metal in his hands, and knew it must be forceps. A shudder ran through her, even as her head told her that Richard had Beth’s welfare in mind.

  ‘The head’s engaged,’ she heard him say to the nurse. ‘It’s early to use forceps, but this is the stage that would put her heart in the most serious danger if I were to let nature take its course.’

  Amy could see little past the mound of Beth’s belly, but she thought Richard had removed something else from his bag.

  ‘I’ll need to cut, to make room to insert the forceps,’ he said.

  ‘So much?’ the nurse murmured. ‘She’ll be a long time healing, poor child.’

  Amy wiped away a trail of saliva forming under Beth’s mouth, and dabbed at the girl’s damp forehead. She did her best to ignore what was going on at Richard’s end of the bed, though she could not avoid catching an occasional glimpse of a bloodied cloth being dropped into a basin.

  She did not dare distract Richard by speaking to him, to ask if things were happening as they should. It all seemed to be taking a long time, and she thought she could hear Richard grunting with effort.

  ‘This baby isn’t eager to enter the world,’ he muttered. ‘Nurse? Would you mind?’ Out of the corner of her eye, Amy saw the nurse leaning over to mop Richard’s forehead.

  Amy fought down the nausea she felt at what was happening to Beth; at the thought of metal tools scraping their way inside her, grasping at her unborn child to drag it into the world. She concentrated on her task of watching Beth, bending low over her face and occasionally stroking an unresponsive cheek.

  Beth’s breathing seemed steady, though from time to time her mouth twisted, as if she were dimly aware of what was being done to her. Amy fretted over whether Beth might wake up before this horrible business was over. Even worse was the fear that she might not wake at all.

  ‘I think we’re almost… just a little more… yes.’ Amy heard Richard heave a breath of relief. She looked down the bed to see him holding a bloodied creature in his hands. Richard seemed barely interested in the baby; as soon as he had ensured it was breathing, he passed it to the nurse and turned his attention back to Beth.

  Amy was vaguely aware that the nurse had taken the baby to the other side of the room to wash it and wrap it warmly; her concentration, like Richard’s, was all on Beth. Beth was making small noises, almost like sobs. Amy wondered if she should tell Richard, but she did not want to interrupt what he was doing. The nurse was back at his side helping him; more bloodstained cloths appeared, and then something that made a wet, slapping noise as it was dropped into a basin. Amy guessed that it was the afterbirth. Now Richard seemed to be doing something that took finer movements; when she saw the nurse passing him a pair of scissors, Amy realised he had been stitching Beth where she had been cut.

  Richard stood up, wiped his hands on a towel, and approached the head of the bed, leaving the nurse to finish cleaning Beth. He listened to Beth’s chest, felt her forehead, then looked across her to where Amy sat watching him. His mouth eased into a weary smile. ‘I think she’s safe.’

  ‘Thank heaven,’ Amy murmured.

  ‘And now let’s have a look at this little girl,’ Richard said more brightly. ‘Yes, it’s a girl—you’ve a granddaughter, Amy. Come and see her.’

  He carefully lifted the baby and placed her in Amy’s outstretched arms. ‘She’s a fine size. It’s a good thing she wasn’t any bigger, things were difficult enough as it was. Don’t worry about those marks,’ he said, indicating the red lines on either side of the baby’s head. ‘They’re from the forceps—they’ll fade in a day or two.’

  Amy gazed at the little creature in her arms. Vivid blue eyes were studying the world with an expression that suggested it had yet to prove itself satisfactory. The baby’s head was crowned with a blazing mop of hair.

  ‘She’s got red hair!’ Amy said in delight and astonishment. ‘Fancy her getting Charlie’s red hair!’ She planted a careful kiss on top of the baby’s head. ‘Can I take her out to show Dave? Only if Beth’s not going to wake up for a bit, though—I should be here when she does.’

  ‘Beth won’t wake for some time yet,’ said Richard. ‘Yes, by all means go and see the new father, and set his mind at rest. Don’t let him in here, though—better that he waits until we’ve been able to make Beth more comfortable.’

  Amy carried the precious bundle out to the parlour, where David and Frank sat in the small circle of light cast by the lamp. David erupted from his chair at the sight of her, and took a step forward.

  ‘She’s going to be all right, Davie,’ Amy said, anxious that he should not have to worry a moment longer. ‘Beth’s safe. And look!’ She stepped into the lamplight and lifted the baby to show an awed David. ‘You’ve got a daughter!’

  21

  Beth opened her eyes to find a sea of faces looming over her, and a warm weight pressed just below her chest. Pain nagged at the edge of her awareness, but she was too wear
y to give it any attention.

  The faces resolved into David’s, Aunt Amy’s, and her father’s; Richard and the nurse seemed to be there, too, but the lamplight was too dim for her to be sure.

  She looked down to see what it was that nestled against her, small and soft and warm. Huge blue eyes looked into hers, from a little face crowned with red hair.

  ‘See what a lovely baby you have?’ That was her Aunt Amy’s voice. ‘You’ve got a little girl, Beth. You’ve got a daughter.’

  Beth stared into those unfocussed eyes as she slowly unravelled the meaning of her aunt’s words. It was all over. She was alive, and the most beautiful baby there had ever been lay in her arms. Her very own baby.

  Hot tears welled up in her eyes and spilled unchecked down her cheeks. Her chest heaved with sobs till she was gasping for breath. The sobs hurt; everything hurt. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except her baby.

  Aunt Amy was shooing the others out of the room, even Richard. She put an arm around Beth’s shoulders and held her, making little wordless soothing noises until the sobs eased.

  Beth felt herself being lifted forward slightly, just enough for her aunt to place another pillow behind her shoulders. A handkerchief appeared in front of her, and her eyes and face were gently wiped. It was a relief to be rid of the blurring of tears, because it meant she could see her baby properly. Aunt Amy was saying something about red marks—don’t worry about the marks on her face, they’ll fade. As if a few silly little marks mattered. As if they could stop her baby from being beautiful.