Stowe Away

by Blythe Rippon

  Sam’s head was almost spinning with Maria’s various business endeavors. “Are you always looking for the next thing? Always looking to grow or move forward?”

  Maria sipped her wine thoughtfully. “No one’s ever asked me that. I suppose so. But that doesn’t mean I’m not content. I’m more than pleased with the level of success Stowe Away has achieved. But ideas keep coming to me, and at least right now, I have the capacity to try them out. There’s a small publishing house in Montpelier that contacted me about a cookbook. I haven’t given it serious thought just yet, but every now and then I jot down notes for how I would organize one, and what recipes I’d want to include. There are a lot of farm-to-table cookbooks, so I’m still searching for the angle or theme I’d want in a Stowe Away cookbook.”

  “The restaurant’s mostly Italian-Mexican fusion, right? That seems unique.”

  “I knew there was a reason I started spending time with you.” Maria gazed at her. “I don’t know how you thought of that when I didn’t.”

  “Sometimes you just need an outsider’s perspective.”

  “You’re hardly an outsider.”

  Sam bit her lip. “I suppose I’m not, anymore. I certainly felt like one for a long time.”

  “That was all you. Stowe has always been proud to call you theirs.”

  “I never wanted that responsibility. And, I guess, I never wanted to be owned in that way.”

  “And what do you want now?”

  The bruschetta tasted like spring in Florence, or at least she imagined, and she savored it while she contemplated Maria’s question.

  “I want to do well at UVM but still find a way to take care of Mom. I want to find a way to end up at Dartmouth, so I can stay in the area.” Her eyes dropped while she gathered her courage. Looking up, she was swallowed by the vast blackness of Maria’s eyes. “I want love.” Maria’s fingers entwined with hers, lending Sam the strength to say what came next. “I behaved carelessly that day in your basement when I tried to kiss you. You were right to walk away, and I’m glad you did. When I kiss you, I don’t want to do it casually.”

  Maria raised her eyebrows. “When?” she asked teasingly.

  “Evidently I’ve picked up some optimism after I moved back here.”

  Their salad arrived, and Maria’s fingers slipped away from hers so she could divide and serve the endive. Sam instantly missed the security Maria’s touch gave her.

  “What are your plans for Eva in the fall, when you start classes at UVM?”

  Sam savored a bite of salad before answering. “The nurse who’s been helping out isn’t in a position to take on more permanent work, and he says he’s too expensive anyway. His mom just retired though, and now that she’s staring at days and days of no particular schedule, she’s a bit lost. She and I are sitting down to chat about Eva’s needs to see if she’d be a good fit. Assuming she works out, she’d stay with Eva during the weekdays, until I get back from Burlington.”

  “You’re taking on a lot, you know.”

  “Ah, but I have an advantage. I’ve already completed more than semester’s worth of credits. And, it may surprise you to hear, but I was a bit precocious in college. I’ve got a solid foundation of knowledge and experience.”

  “You’ve also got a lot of help, when you need it. There are a lot of people in this town that adore Eva—and you.” Maria didn’t reach out and touch her, but she may as well have, given the tingling that started in Sam’s fingers and worked its way up her arms.

  “I’ve always been a bit of a loner. Mostly by choice—I thought it suited my ambitions. I’m still unaccustomed to this kind of support, but I’m grateful for it every day.” She paused, glancing at their empty salad plates. “I’m grateful for you every day.”

  “Actually, I know that. You’ve shown me a thousand ways how much you care. I’ve just been waiting for your head to catch up to your heart.”

  “We overthinkers aren’t perfect.”

  “Mmm, that explains your abysmal poker skills. Is that why you haven’t played with us in so long? Because you lose?”

  After the busboy cleared the previous course, the waiter placed their seafood risotto in between them.

  “Things got…a little complicated.” Sam hesitated, her fork hovering over their dinner. “Does Brandi still play poker?”

  “You know we’re just friends, right?”

  “I wasn’t sure after you two went to the movies together.”

  “Sam,” Maria said, taking her hand, “haven’t you ever gone to the movies with a friend?”

  Maria’s fingers were petite and gentle, and Sam played with them, weaving and sliding their hands together. “So there’s no one else?”

  “Do you think I have some kind of secret life I jet off to when you’re not looking? You know my life, my schedule, my people; there’s only you.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t know you in high school. We could have…”

  Maria shrugged. “You weren’t the only one with a lot on her plate back then. I had Pauly, and my own ambitions.”

  “What did you want back then? If you hadn’t assumed custody of Pauly, what would you have done?”

  “Studied literature at Tufts. Settled down in Boston to work for a publishing house. Visited Stowe on holidays and the occasional long weekend, but had my own life.”

  “Do you feel like you don’t have your own life?”

  “I used to, but I don’t anymore. Now sometimes I wonder if Pauly has given too much to accommodate my life, rather than the other way around. He’s at the restaurant with me more days than not. He loves the basement, but I sort of exile him during poker nights.”

  “But he lights up like Christmas morning at every salon. And he positively glows when you or Brendon give him things to do at the restaurant. Maybe thinking of things as Pauly’s life or yours is a false choice; maybe he wants a lot of the same things. You are, after all, siblings.”

  “Mmm. Is this what I have to look forward to? You helping me see my life differently?”

  “Just repaying the favor.”

  After the risotto had been cleared and the table wiped, the waiter slipped a tureen of crème brûlée between them and Maria looked up in surprise. Sam grinned slyly. “A little bird told me it was your favorite.”

  “Oh? Is that little bird currently blissed out on the cookies you brought to bribe him?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sam said.

  “Oh, I have ways to make you reveal your…secrets,” Maria whispered. She took a bite, her eyelids fluttered, and she moaned softly in pleasure.

  “God, I hope I don’t have to compete with the dessert,” Sam said.

  “And here I thought you were the dessert,” Maria said.

  Excitement about where the evening might lead overtook her nerves, and Sam silently cursed the length of the drive back to Stowe. The sip of water she took went down the wrong pipe, and she came up sputtering. Maria laughed as it took Sam a full minute to clear her throat and catch her breath. “Something about eating food around you…” she said, coughing once more.

  “I’m sure you’re better in…other arenas.” Maria couldn’t even feign flirtation, and they both laughed.

  “God, let’s hope so,” Sam said, wiping her eyes.

  Maria rested her hand on Sam’s thigh and squeezed. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

  They held hands as the Chevy wound its way back to Stowe. It was a clear night, and Maria gazed through the sunroof at the stars. To Sam’s surprise, she began naming constellations.

  “I used to be a bit of a stargazer, but then I left for college and it pretty much faded away,” Sam said.

  “Childhood hobbies are like that. It’s not like I own a telescope or anything. But I’ve never forgotten how to identify the stars.” Unclasping their fingers, Maria slid her hand behind
Sam’s head, through her dark hair, and softly stroked the skin at the back of her neck. Sam felt Maria’s eyes studying her profile, but it didn’t make her nervous. Instead, she sighed in deep contentment before Maria removed her hand. She only had a moment to regret the loss before Maria’s head came to rest on her shoulder, the light touch of gentle curls against her cheek making Sam’s mouth tingle. They remained that way until Sam pulled the car into Maria’s driveway.

  Sam turned the engine off, then rotated the key a notch to return power to the CD player. After lowering the windows, she turned the dial up on Otis Redding. “Dance with me?” Maria nodded, and they met a few paces in front of the car. Warm, heavy air blanketed them, and the soft sounds of birds intermingled with Otis’s crooning as they wrapped their arms around each other.

  “God, you feel so good,” Sam breathed, running her cheek against the soft skin of Maria’s ear. “Maria, I’m sorry it took me so long.”

  “You always were a slow learner,” Maria murmured. Her hands created a swath of fire as they ascended Sam’s back and she wound her fingers into Sam’s hair.

  Sam’s heart pounded and her breath grew ragged. “I don’t want to fuck this up,” she said softly, tightening her hold on Maria’s waist.

  “Then don’t.” Maria’s voice was low, her eyes heavy with desire. “Kiss me.”

  Sam closed the space between their lips slowly, feeling the heat of their breath mingling between them. The roof of her mouth buzzed in anticipation until their mouths melded together, their tongues explored, and moans passed back and forth between them. Sam’s hands found either side of Maria’s face, then the back of her head, pulling her closer, needing more of her. Maria pulled on Sam’s hips, fusing their bodies together. They both swayed, but the force of their combined yearning held them upright. As Maria’s lips moved to her chin, then down her throat to the base of her neck, Sam’s longing was like a rope cinched around her chest and she couldn’t breathe in deeply enough. “Sam.” Maria’s voice vibrated against Sam’s collarbone.

  Sam pushed them apart far enough to look into Maria’s eyes. How could one person look so familiar—as if she knew every curve of her fingerprints—and simultaneously foreign, as if years together would never unearth everything there was to know?

  “Maria.” Sam caressed her cheek, her neck, her hair, first with her hands, and then with her lips. “Maria. Maria.” She said the name against Maria’s forehead, over her eyes, along her jaw, as if the repetition might ease the intensity of feeling threatening to undo Sam. Their lips met again, and all sense of time and space abandoned her.

  Maria pulled away slightly, and the passion in her eyes burned Sam from the inside out. “Come inside with me.”

  It took Sam a second before she remembered how to talk. “Shouldn’t we take this slower?”

  Maria’s voice buzzed in her ear. “It’s not like we just met in a bar tonight; we did go to high school together. And you’ve made me wait long enough, Samantha Latham. Come inside.”

  Sam quickly turned off the car and pocketed the keys. Taking her hand, Maria guided her up the path and through the front door. The length of the walk made her long for Maria’s lips, and she stopped Maria in the hallway to exchange more searing kisses. Their hands wandered all over each other’s bodies, exploring, claiming.

  Reason returned to Sam long enough for her to ask “Pauly?”

  “My uncle’s.” Maria’s throaty reply released whatever reserve had been holding Sam back. While her lips moved to the soft spot underneath Maria’s ear, she panted, “Bedroom.”

  They undressed each other unhurriedly, each unfastening and unzipping accompanied by long, burning kisses on newly revealed paths of skin. When they were finally naked, only an inch between their bodies, Sam dragged her fingers from the outside of Maria’s thigh up her torso, then between her breasts. “Your skin feels so good under my fingertips.” With shocking restraint, Maria slowly backed Sam up until her thighs hit the queen-sized mattress. “Lie down,” she commanded softly, and Sam complied. Slowly, so achingly slowly, Maria lowered her body on top of Sam’s, clearly savoring every inch of new contact. Supporting herself on her elbow, Maria placed her hand on the side of Sam’s face, holding her while her other hand slid down Sam’s body, and they began to move against each other.

  “Don’t close your eyes,” she whispered.

  “Oh, God,” was all Sam could reply. The sweet, painful ache threatened to overwhelm her, and she reveled in the sensations coursing through her body and the eyes that seemed to find parts of her she never knew were lost. She knew in that instant that she had never made love before, not like this, and she gave herself over to Maria, whose body moved in perfect synchronicity with hers, as though they had always been one. Nothing in her life had ever felt so right, so unbelievably, painfully, sublimely perfect. Maria’s eyelids fluttered a little. Their chests heaved with wrenching gasps and shudders rocketed through their bodies. “I love you,” Sam gasped, and the promise in those words seemed to slice right through Maria. She threw back her head and exploded, crying Sam’s name. Hearing her name wrenched from the back of Maria’s throat destroyed Sam’s fragile control, and as she climaxed, she shattered— into a thousand pieces. Tears slid down her face, dropping onto the pillowcase beneath her head. She clung desperately to Maria, feeling for all the world that she might die if she let go. Maria caressed her face, her neck, her hair, murmuring again and again, “I love you.” They held onto each other, and it was a long time before Sam quieted.

  When she awoke, Maria still held her, and was tracing slight designs on her shoulder with tender fingertips. Sam raised her gaze until it locked onto Maria’s, sparkling in the soft moonlight that wafted through the skylight above the bed. Brushing tendrils of hair from the breathtaking face gazing back at her, Sam sought the right words for the moment and came up short. The corners of Maria’s mouth twitched, and she bit her lip. “What?” Sam demanded.

  “It’s just…” Maria’s gentle laughter tickled Sam’s skin. “You’re such a girl!”

  “What?”

  “Well, you did cry.”

  Sam swatted at her. “I should hope you noticed I’m a girl.”

  “Oh, I noticed all right.”

  “Besides, it’s your fault I cried.”

  Suddenly serious, Maria said, “I know. Payback’s a bitch. I cried for hours after that day in my basement. And then when you stopped coming to the restaurant, and stopped calling, I thought...”

  “I’m so sorry. God, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s in the past. Before Dolores’s wedding, Jenny called and told me about your shopping spree. She said you asked about me, and you seemed…different. Surer. And then you danced with me. And now you’re here, and you’re all mine. Right?”

  “Wholly. Completely. Absolutely.” Sam completed her promise with a long kiss. Several more followed, deepening and growing more passionate. She flipped them, pinning Maria with her body and eyes. “You look good on your back.”

  “You look good on top of me.”

  Blood pulsed more quickly and a tremor shook Maria’s body as Sam’s lips found her neck, then the hollow at the base of her throat, then lower.

  Later, when her heartbeat had normalized, she peered up at Maria. “Hey there.”

  “Hey yourself,” Maria replied.

  “Mmm.”

  “Articulate.”

  “Mm-hm.”

  “I could get used to this,” Maria said.

  “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. God, yes. This. Forever,” Sam responded, and then immediately worried she’d said too much.

  “Hey. Look at me.” Maria gently guided Sam’s head upward. “Do you mean that? Forever?”

  So much rode on her answer. She did mean it. But she had thought she’d meant it before and had been rebuffed. “In this moment, all I can see is you. All I want is you, all over me, all over
my life,” she answered honestly.

  Tears welled up in Maria’s eyes, and one slipped down her cheek.

  Sam smiled. “Now who’s the girl?”

  “Shut up and kiss me.” They kissed softly, languidly, for long moments filled with promise.

  The sunlight streamed in through the skylight, bathing the room in the glow of morning. Sam woke to find soft lips brushing against her hairline, and she breathed a sigh of contentment. “You’re nice to wake up to.”

  “So no regrets then?” Maria murmured her question into the baby-fine hair at Sam’s temple.

  Sam gently eased away, her fingertips lightly stroking the beautiful face above her. “Not about last night. Never about last night.”

  “Good,” Maria smiled. Her lips found Sam’s neck, and she murmured, “Then let’s do it again.”

  “I think we need to buy Dolores and your uncle something nice,” Sam said as she sipped on French-pressed coffee and watched Maria move about the kitchen, thinking how grateful she was that Pauly and Eva were in good hands.

  “Why? Are you planning on making a habit of this?”

  Sam snuck up behind her as she flipped pancakes, pulling Maria’s hips back into her own and biting her neck lightly. “Absofuckinglutely.” Maria shoved the pan off the burner and threw the dial to the off position before spinning around and claiming Sam’s mouth. Hours of lovemaking had done nothing to diminish their desire, and Sam rotated their positions, backed Maria up to the kitchen island, and lifted her to the countertop.

  When the day drew to a close and gray overtook blue in the sky, they disentangled themselves and slowly began to dress, each article of clothing bringing them closer to reality and responsibility. Maria, who had been so assured and assertive in their interactions, trembled a little when she stilled Sam’s hands with her own and asked, “What happens now?”

  Sam brought those skillful, beautiful hands to her mouth and, smiling, lavished them with kisses. “Now we dream of each other, until next time.”

  “Next time?”