Joshua (Einherjar - A Dead Radiance Companion Novel) (The Valkyrie Series Book 6)

by T. G. Ayer

  He’d killed Bryn.

  Chapter 7

  Joshua blinked as horror flooded his veins.

  He looked at Aimee, to meet eyes filled with concern and sadness. “You remember it all now?” she asked softly.

  He nodded, unable bring himself to speak immediately. He bobbed his head repeatedly until he cleared his throat. “Did Bryn die too?” His voice cracked on the question.”

  Aimee shook her head, her face growing a few shades paler. “I don’t think so...she’s not here, but that doesn’t mean much. Not everyone is destined to be here. I’d like to think that she survived.”

  She sounded so sad at the thought of Bryn’s death that Joshua paused. “Did you know Bryn?” he asked, his memory a little fuzzy. Then he held out a hand. “Yeah. You came back for a day or so after she started senior year.”

  Aimee nodded. “We met, yes. But I didn’t know her. I got the sense that she didn’t fit in all that well. And a few of the girls were giving her a bit of a hard time.”

  “Yeah. That would be Cherise and her crowd. For some reason, they took an instant dislike to her the moment she set foot on the school grounds.”

  Aimee snorted. “That’s ‘cos she was smart and gorgeous.”

  Joshua smiled. “That about sums up Bryn. She didn’t have time for those girls anyway.”

  “I take it you knew her well?” asked Aimee, leaning forward. “I mean...well enough to be driving her places? Were you two together?” Aimee’s eyes sparkled, the way a person would look when filled with expectation for a juicy tidbit.

  Joshua gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I don’t think she ever saw me that way. Or...maybe she did, but something happened. One day she just changed…began to avoid me, couldn’t look at me without wincing…as if just the mere sight of me gave her a headache. I stayed away until I’d had enough of her avoidance behavior—we were friends after all. So we patched things up, and I thought the car was a good way to meet on common ground.”

  “She a motorhead too?”

  “Yeah, and a tad passionate about it.” Joshua smiled at the memory. Bryn had been excited to go out in the car.

  And Joshua had wanted to talk to her afterward. He couldn’t recall exactly what it was that he’d been planning to say to her, but knew it had been important.

  He must have been frowning because Aimee put her hand on his arm. “Don’t force it. There will be some spots of memory that escape you. Those will return in time.”

  Joshua straightened and nodded as he stared around him. “So where is this place again?” he asked more firmly.

  “You’re not gonna believe me,” Aimee said with a cheeky grin.

  She seemed excited about being here so Joshua played along. “Try me.”

  “This huge ass hall we’re in is Valhalla.”

  “Shut the front door.” Joshua’s eyebrows rose as he stared at Aimee.

  “See? I told you you wouldn’t believe me,” she said smugly as she folded her arms.

  Joshua studied the hall taking in the fat pillars inscribed with snaking Norse-styled patterns. He knew what they were—having an Irish father with a strong love for his Celtic heritage had fed Joshua’s own fascination for the origins of his people. Well, for the origins of one half of his lineage. His mom’s was a much more complicated genetic and cultural line.

  “Valhalla,” he murmured as he walked over to the closest pillar. He stared at the inscriptions and drawings, the long curving, twisting patterns that showed the Tree of life and Jörmungandr the everlasting serpent as it twisted around and around. Joshua took a breath and turned around to face Aimee. “So what you’re really saying is that we died and came to Valhalla. Which makes us...”

  “Einherjar,” Aimee said, her expression neutral now. Her shoulders had tightened and he could tell she was already on the defensive.

  What had she expected to hear him say?

  Then it hit him. Aimee was a girl. Joshua let out a laugh. “So those know-it-all archaeologists and researchers didn’t know squat.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked tightly.

  “Either that or they were a bunch of chauvinistic, patriarchal assholes.” Aimee’s shoulders relaxed, and Joshua continued, “I mean, of course, there have been women warriors, but to hear the historians tell it, only male warriors ever made it to Valhalla.”

  Aimee was nodding. “And all that bullshit about shield maidens? Just another way of demoting women from the positions of warrior to one of slightly inferior.” Aimee shook her head. “It’s partly sad and partly a travesty.”

  Joshua nodded. “My mom would have loved to have known this.”

  “Your mom?” Aimee tilted here head as she studied Joshua. “Yeah, your mom was quite strong in her beliefs. I think I recall my dad telling someone off for saying Kala should accept her place as a wife and not try to be something she wasn’t.”

  Joshua smirked. “That about sounds like my mom.” He sighed and shifted his gaze from Aimee’s as heat filled his eyes. “Mom was passionate about women’s rights, yes. But she was more for people’s rights. But she did have a passionate fury against the ancient sagas. Anytime she had a chance, you’d find her railing at the old sages and saints who’d written the Hindu scriptures. She was especially affronted with the depiction of women in the heavenly record.”

  “What was it that had gotten her so riled up?” Aimee asked, her eyes filled with curiosity.

  “Something about apsaras who were referred to as heavenly maidens, and described as prostitutes and servants rather than powerful women. Mom had this theory that the apsaras were actually female warriors. Something modern men found hard to accept.”

  Aimee grinned. “I liked your mom. Wish I could have known her.”

  Joshua shook his head. “Mom was only ever that vocal in the privacy of our own home. But I understood her well.” He paused and looked at Aimee. “What do you think they are doing?”

  Aimee sighed and sank onto the nearest cot. “I don’t know. Grieving, I guess. My parents had already done their grieving though.”

  Sadness filled Joshua at her words. “But I imagine even then they would have to accept you are now gone. I know how I felt when you died. It was strange because I knew it was coming, but only when it happened did I really accept it. Or rather I’d thought I had accepted it. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. To me, it felt as if I hadn’t expected it at all.”

  “That’s denial…maybe.” Aimee shrugged, avoiding Joshua’s eyes. “Or maybe the people around me got so used to Ailing Aimee that they forgot about Dying Aimee.” She let out a heavy sigh and then followed it with a short laugh. “To be honest, even I had to learn to accept it. Waking up here was no piece of cake. I mean, I’d always thought death would be release, peace, you know. Not Aimee coming to Valhalla of all places. Not Aimee being einherjar and having to train as a warrior.”

  Joshua grinned. “You’re a fighter through and through. I’m not surprised you’re here.” Then he scrunched up his nose. “How do you think people are chosen? I had assumed that you’d need to be some sort of amazing person. I mean the Eddas tell you that only those who fought on the battlefields and displayed their bravery and spilled their blood revealing how amazing they are as warriors would be rewarded with entry to Valhalla.”

  “Well, we don’t have battles like that these days, do we.” Aimee pursed her lips.

  “Yeah. Shooting someone with a gun from a hundred yards isn’t particularly heroic.” Joshua had to shake his head at the incongruity of it all. “So without battles to prove a person’s bravery, how would the gods choose warriors?”

  Aimee shrugged. “I wish I knew. I mean, here I am, a girl who failed to survive cancer. Nothing heroic about that except for hoping and failing to conquer the disease. Jill, over there is a talented artist, and apart from her distinctly purple hair, even she says she’s nothing special. Over on the back, Karim was a prince. A son of sheik and a Muslim.”

  “And then there’s
me,” added Joshua. “A mongrel mix of Celtic and Hindu ancestry. It doesn’t make sense.”

  The sound of a pained voice brought Aimee and Joshua to their feet as they spun around to see the young boy lurching on his feet. Only he didn’t look young anymore. Now he looked more like a kid of eighteen, no longer a little eleven-year-old boy.

  Joshua’s mouth hung open and then he raced to help him. Just in time, Joshua and Aimee arrived to both catch the boy before he hit the ground face first. They lifted him carefully and settled him onto the cot.

  “Who is he?” Joshua asked. “He looks so familiar.”

  “That’s because you know him.”

  Joshua laughed. “Craven must have been filled with heroes. He’s number three.”

  Aimee grinned. “It’s just us three as far as I know. A batch of new patients arrived this morning, so who is to say if any more Craven kids arrived.”

  “As long as Cherise isn’t among them, I’m good.” Joshua chuckled and was aware how he sounded. As if it was all ok, as if waking up in Valhalla and finding out he was an einherjar was just another day in the life of Joshua O’Connell.

  Aimee got to her feet and then patted Joshua’s shoulder. “I think you need to eat something and then rest. You’re still recovering, and you don’t want to relapse. And I’m crossing my fingers that I haven’t effed things up by telling you the truth early.”

  “I don’t suppose it matters too much since I got my memory back within moments of your revelation. Technically, it’s possible your revelation just coincided with the return of my memory,” Joshua said with a wink.

  Aimee laughed. “I like it. I’ll use that for a cover story in case anyone asks.”

  Joshua obeyed Aimee’s commands and ate his meal—this time a plate of roasted meat with vegetables and gravy—and downed the mug of mead. Whatever was in it, he didn’t care. The taste alone was pretty addictive, and Joshua found himself savoring every last drop.

  With a sigh, he returned his platter to the table and went back to lay down on his cot. Settling against his soft pillow, he looked around him at the cavernous hall and the people moving back and forth.

  Maybe this place wasn’t so bad after all.

  Then he reminded himself: Not this place...Valhalla.

  Chapter 8

  The sound of Aimee’s yelling brought Joshua bolt upright.

  “What’s wrong? Aimee, what happened?” He got to his feet and rushed to her side where she was standing staring off at the open door to the hall. Bright sunlight filtered into the hall and Joshua made out a small contingent of warriors who were carrying someone outside.

  “They took him,” she said, her tone helpless. “He wasn’t fully awake. He didn’t even have a proper awareness of who he was.”

  “And yet they still took him away?” Joshua asked. “Where did they take him?

  “I don’t know. They said he needed a different kind of care.” Aimee let out a soft sob.

  “And so he does,” said a voice from behind the pair.

  They both turned to face the man, who to Joshua appeared to be what a true warrior should look like. The man was tall, his face wide, cheekbones high. His eyes glinted with something, a kind of latent power that Joshua could feel in his bones. The man wore chainmail and armor, and a dark cloak thrown over his shoulders. His expression was grave though, and Joshua suspected this man was very important.

  “I believe it is time the two of you were informed of the boy’s condition.”

  “Is something wrong with him?” asked Aimee, the fear in her voice almost palpable.

  The man didn’t answer. Neither did he introduce himself. Instead, he glanced over at Joshua. “I believe you do remember your past life now. But I need to know if you are aware of who this boy is?”

  Aimee shook her head, and so did Joshua, who said, “I want to lie because I feel like if I say no you won’t tell me the truth, but I can’t. I feel like I know him. He looks so familiar—at times it’s odd though because he looks different and then he’s not familiar. I don’t know. Maybe I’m still recovering.”

  The warrior nodded, his expression grave. “Very well. This is not completely within the rules, but I will tell you the truth. I just will not tell you who he is. That you will need to find out from within your own memories.”

  Joshua nodded, and even Aimee looked relieved.

  The warrior continued, “The boy will be taken to a special facility where they will care for him. His mind is separated, and they need for him to come together in a healthier mental state.”

  “Why is his mind separate?” asked Aimee. She was shaking her head. “He was fine, and he seemed to be recovering.” She wrung her hands and Joshua got the sense that she knew the little boy very well. The image of the kid’s face shimmered before him.

  Joshua was certain that he knew the boy now. The younger face just tugged at his heart, and he was about to get the memory of him back when Aimee spoke.

  “Is he going to be ok?” Her tone wavered as she spoke and the large warrior smiled down at her. Although he appeared hard and fierce, there seemed to be something intensely caring about him. Joshua laughed to himself. Bryn would have liked this guy.

  The warrior nodded in the direction that the boy had been taken. “The process of a warrior rising to Valhalla is different for each person. But for…in this boy’s case he was taken too early. A warrior needs to be of sound body to fight in the battle of Ragnarok, and no matter how strong he is in mind, if his form cannot handle the pressure and the fighting, then it becomes a dangerous problem. But there is a way around it. When a warrior isn’t taken in time, he, of course, goes on to be reborn again into a new life. One of our biggest issues is we do not have enough Valkyries to help us find them. And the boy was found too late. The best time to bring back a warrior who had missed being brought to Valhalla in his previous life, is to retrieve him at birth or within the first year. When they come to Valhalla as babies, they immediately regain the form of their previous life, with no memories to confuse them.”

  Joshua nodded. “And because he wasn’t taken when he should have been, he grew older and made new memories which will ultimately conflict with the memory of his previous life.” Joshua paused and received a grave nod from the warrior, then asked, “But why was he taken at this age?”

  “Unfortunately, it is not a perfect process. Because he missed the time twice, when he died previously, and when he was born to his current life, he may have been stuck in that full life cycle where he would have only been claimed when he finally did die of old age, or whatever reason. At any rate, he would have been much older.”

  “So he’d have taken the form that he has in this life because he would have been a fully grown person?” asked Aimee.

  “Yes. But our problem is that because a Valkyrie entered his life, her presence triggered his call to Valhalla. She would have had to have been a very powerful Valkyrie to call an einherjar to ascend. All I know is that he met a valkyrie and died soon after. And he was brought here with this group from the same town.”

  Something in the warrior’s tone made Joshua glance up at the man’s face. It seemed strange that even though he barely knew the man, Joshua’s gut was telling him that the warrior wasn’t telling them the full truth. Either that, of he had just outright lied to them.

  But Joshua had other things on his mind, the warrior’s edited truths aside. While the man and Aimee were talking, Joshua was struggling with the memory of the boy, the truth just wavering beyond his reach every time he tried to grab a hold of it. If only he had Bryn here to help set his brain to calm and help him figure it out.

  And then he stiffened.

  Bryn.

  Joshua gasped softly as he stared over at Aimee. “Brody?”

  Aimee nodded and patted Joshua on the shoulder. “Yeah. It’s Brody.”

  “When? How?” Joshua sputtered, the shock of the boy’s death shifting his perspective slightly.

  He knew he should not be up
set considering he would see the boy again soon enough, but for the moment he was thinking as a person who’d been left behind by those who had died. Joshua shook the thought from his head, figuring that he’d eventually learn to not react with instant grief because death in Valhalla did not mean true death. Rather it meant a resurrection to a new life with a new purpose.

  The warrior answered Joshua’s question, and he still spoke in a low, comforting tone. “Not long after you. He had an undiagnosed congenital heart defect. They did not know he was going to die.”

  Joshua nodded, feeling only slightly better about Brody now that the warrior had explained. “So now what?”

  “Now Brody remains with the goddess Eir in her personal infirmary. She is going to monitor him as his consciousness returns, to ensure that the scared little boy can merge with the strong man he had been in his past life.”

  “That sounds difficult and complicated.” Aimee wrapped her arms around her waist, her expression forlorn.

  “Have faith in our Lady Eir. She has done this many times before. She will look after your friend and you will find him returned to you sooner than you think.”

  The pair nodded, still unsure what to say. Joshua could see that Aimee was feeling as bereft as he himself was. And as helpless.

  “So what happens now?” Joshua asked.

  “Now Aimee will be taken to her first debrief and her training shall begin immediately thereafter.”

  “And me?” asked Joshua, feeling a little off balance now that he knew he’d be left behind.

  The warrior pursed his lips and shook his head. “You are still not at the peak of your mental balance. Once your full memories have returned, you will meet Aimee on the fields. I do believe you are going to enjoy this new path in your life,” the warrior paused and looked at each one of them in turn, “the both of you.”

  Aimee nodded enthusiastically, but Joshua remained silent and merely nodded at the warrior. He’d still not revealed his name, and it looked likely that he had no plans to do so.