6 Dirty Secrets: A Tease Novel

by Alexis Anne

  So when I opened that door and found her waiting for me, in my bed, naked? Yeah, my brain short-circuited. The girl I’d always dreamed of having as my own was most definitely not a girl anymore.

  “Hi Darcy.”

  I forgot about our age difference. I forgot I hated myself for every dirty thought I’d ever had about her. I forgot I was a piece of shit who wasn’t allowed to touch Nicki Sutherland.

  “Hey Nicki.”

  She was gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous. Every fantasy was a grey, bland, sad imitation of the real thing and my dick strained to be inside her from the moment my eyes locked on her tits. They were perfect. Two handfuls. Creamy, supple skin I wanted to suck and bite. Definitely bite. The curve of her hip…she was all woman now. Beautiful, gorgeous, needy woman.

  And those eyes—it was that look she always had for me, plus something more. Dark. Almost desperate…and for a split second I wondered about that before pushing it aside in favor of another look at her tits.

  Focus. I needed to focus. I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here?”

  It was dumb question considering the fact that she was naked in my bed, but up until five seconds ago she had been nothing more to me than Theo’s kid sister, so I thought it might bear a little clarification.

  Because if this was what I thought it was, I was not going to fuck this up.

  Oh, hell no.

  She took the sexiest little breath, her whole chest rising and falling. My dick hurt it was so hard.

  “I was wondering,” she finally said, her voice really quiet. “If you might be interested in fucking me tonight?”

  My mind went completely blank, then filled with image after image of me between her legs, her on top of me, me riding her from behind.

  I swallowed. “You want me to fuck you?”

  “Yes.”

  I swear if she would just look away I’d be able to think again, but she didn’t. She had those beautiful eyes locked on mine and I honestly started to believe I could have her and this insane fantasy that I could be someone different. Fuck how I wanted to be someone different. I did an excellent job of screwing things up and I usually didn’t know why I did half the things I did, but I knew this wasn’t the life I wanted when I closed my eyes at night.

  Working for Dan, being indebted to Nicki’s father and the Duncan Boys, double crossing crooks, and stealing for a living were none of the things I’d put on my bucket list.

  But this? Hours of pleasure with Nicki? Hell yeah, that was most definitely what I wanted out of my life.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, giving her an out.

  Her eyebrows rose. “Would you like me to put my clothes on and leave?”

  “No.”

  “Then yes, I’m absolutely positive this a good idea.”

  I slammed the door and turned the lock.

  Maybe I was about to die. I knew it was inevitable. London was most likely my last hurrah. Was this the universe giving me one good thing in my life before it ended?

  As my eyes raked over Nicki my last sane thought was that this was the best possible way to die.

  6

  Nicki, present day

  Get out before I throw you out. What the fuck are you doing to me, Nicki?

  The words from Edinburgh echoed in my head as Darcy ripped off my clothes.

  What the fuck are you doing to me, Nicki? His voice had cracked. He was so upset. I’d thought he was angry at me.

  “Oh God, Nicki. The things you do to me,” he groaned with pleasure as he fell backward onto the bed, taking me with him.

  The echoes collided and merged. One from the past, one from the present, exactly the same. He hadn’t been angry at all. Darcy had been tortured by how desperately he wanted me.

  I straddled him and reached back, unhooking my bra. “The first time you smiled at me.”

  His hands faltered on my hips as he rocked up against me. “What?”

  “That was when it happened.”

  He rocked up again, this time wrapping his hands around my hips and pulling me down against him at the same time. “When what happened, Nicki?” His voice dropped into a deep, seductive growl.

  “I was thirteen. It was the first time Father and I came to visit Theo at university. You were playing some stupid video game on the floor. I walked in and you looked up. You smiled at me and I forgot any other boys existed from that moment on.”

  Suddenly I was on my back and Darcy was holding himself just above me. “Is that so?”

  “Yes.”

  “No other boys, huh?”

  I shook my head, then lightly ran my fingers up over his shoulders and around his neck.

  “Not Ian?” he growled.

  The mention of my boyfriend should have turned me cold, made me rethink what we were about to do, but it didn’t. Picturing the two men in my life only made me want Darcy more. He cared about me. He wanted more for me. Ian wanted to lock me in a room just like this one.

  “Not Ian,” I whispered.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Not at all?”

  “It’s a marriage of convenience, not a sexual relationship, Darcy.”

  He practically glowed with that piece of information. “Good. I don’t like to share.”

  Only one of you in there today? Higgins must be tired…

  “Neither do I.”

  He paused, his eyes raking over me. “We both enjoy sex, Nicki. Trust me I’ve heard about your exploits and I know you’ve heard about mine. I’m not going to pretend there haven’t been other women, but none of them have been you.” He lowered his body onto mine, pressing me into the mattress. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I’ve never cared about anyone but you.”

  He kissed me. Gently. Carefully. As if he were trying to show me with his lips how much more he felt.

  “There hasn’t been anyone since you,” I whispered.

  He rose up just enough to look me in the eyes. He didn’t say anything as he stood all the way up, towering over me. He moved carefully and with a look in his eyes that made my heart skip every other beat. He found a condom in his jeans and rolled it down his length, then crawled back over me, his cock resting against my thigh.

  “Do you remember how we were together?” he finally whispered. “We were slow. Careful. Close. So close. It was the most intense sex I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt anything like it and I wanted to keep it. I remember thinking that if I could hold out just a little longer I could keep you. Keep that moment.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled my back up off the mattress. “Put your arms around me, Darcy.”

  He nodded slowly, eyes wide, as he slid his arms behind me. “Yes…it was like this.”

  “I think it’s called making love.”

  He swallowed. “Is that what we do?” He pressed against me, sending a surge of pleasure through my body like a wave.

  A beautiful, glorious wave.

  “I think so.”

  Then he slid inside me and I forgot to care about silly little things like consequences. “Fuck,” I hissed, sinking my nails into his shoulder.

  “I’ll slow down.”

  “No.” Yes. My body was at war with the pleasure and the pain. I craved all of Darcy. Every inch of him. But two years without sex made this every bit as painful as it was pleasurable.

  “Yes, love.” With his arms around me our bodies were so close, his mouth right beside my ear.

  “We’re already going slow.”

  “And I’ll take all fucking night if I need to. I’ve waited eight years for this.”

  With each slow stroke he inched deeper.

  Get out of my bedroom. Get out of my life. I don’t want you.

  The words still ripped me to shreds.

  But he hadn’t meant it. Not really. He’d been scared. Overwhelmed.

  It was as if we were erasing what happened two years ago with every movement we made. “I’ve been waiting for this, too.”

  “I
know, babe. That’s why I want to do it right.” He eased out and back in slowly. “Last time? I always thought if we somehow managed to get together,” he shook his head, arms tight around me, “that it could never, ever live up to the fantasy in my head.”

  I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist, pulling him deeper, losing myself inside the ecstasy. “It was too much?”

  “You were too much. I didn’t deserve you. I still don’t. But if it’s me or Ian, you better fucking believe I’m stepping up and throwing my hat in this ring.”

  He surged inside me and I arched up to meet him. “Is that the only reason you’ve stayed away?”

  He froze, head buried in my neck, cock halfway home. “No.”

  “I need to know, Darcy.”

  He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing against my skin we were so close. “The night you overdosed? Theo and I were about to hand over the evidence on Dan Christie. I was trying to keep you out of the crossfire.”

  I understood that part. “But after? It’s been two years.”

  He nodded slowly, then rested his forehead on my shoulder. I rocked my hips to keep him moving and he responded by resuming his gentle invasion. “It hurt to be around you.”

  I held him closer, wishing I could take back what I’d done. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Fuck that, Nik,” he growled, shaking his head. “Don’t give me that bullshit apology. You wouldn’t have done what you did if I hadn’t broken you in the first place. I was cruel. I had everything to do with what happened and I’m the one that should be apologizing.”

  “All you did was move up the timeline,” I shot back. “I was self destructing and there was nothing that was going to stop that.” I smiled at him sadly, tilting his head so that he had to look me in the eyes. “If you had been sweet and asked me stay with you forever I would have still been a drug addict. I have been an addict since I was thirteen. It was just a matter of time.”

  That was one thing I knew absolutely.

  Something flickered in his eyes. Longing? Regret? I felt like I had just missed something important.

  “You don’t know that,” he whispered and my heart skipped a beat. “Maybe we could have been good together. Maybe I could have helped you.”

  There were a million maybes in this situation and not a single one could turn back time and change the past.

  “You’re helping me now,” I offered instead.

  “By making you feel good?”

  I shook my head. “By being the only person who gives a fuck what happens to me.”

  His entire expression darkened. “I always have.” He thrust into me. Not hard, but with some definite emotional purpose. “I always saw you. They all ignored you because they don’t give a shit, but I do. I was there, remember? I came to your graduations. I know how brilliant you are even if they don’t. I see how they hurt you, how every word cuts through your skin like a knife because you feel everything.”

  He thrust into me over and over, with every sentence, until he was buried completely inside me. Body and soul.

  “That’s why I want you so desperately,” I whispered, pulling his head down to my chest. “I want to be seen. By you. Please make me feel good.”

  And he complied.

  Oh, how he complied. Every whimper out of my mouth was a command to his ears. It was as if my pleasure was his sole mission in life. He demanded my moans, explored every possible point of pleasure, then showed me what it truly meant to be loved.

  Because that was exactly what he was doing to me. There was no mistaking that. Darcy was loving me in the one way we both knew how.

  We were terrible at life. Circumstances and misgivings had a way of turning us into awful decision makers. We said the wrong things, made the wrong choices, hid from and hurt each other.

  But this?

  This was pure honesty. My body responding to his. Darcy acting without reservations. My reaction to his love for me was something I couldn’t hide when we were together like this.

  “On your knees. I want you above me.” He slid down the headboard, propping up pillows behind him so that he was sitting up. I straddled him and he positioned me so that when I sank down onto his cock I could comfortably hold myself still. “Yes. There. Just like that.” He grinned up at me.

  “You like what you see?”

  He nodded slowly. “Your tits in my face and a view of my cock inside your pussy? Fuck yeah.”

  I never wanted that glint in his eyes to disappear. It was light and fun. It was adoration and pure lust.

  I held perfectly still while Darcy took control. With his hands on my hips he held me, thrusting from below, his hips surging up and burying his cock inside me over and over while he swirled his tongue around my nipple.

  My hands on the headboard were the only thing that kept me from collapsing under the dizzying pleasure.

  Pulse. My entire body lit up and shivered as the electricity of our connection went into overdrive. My inner muscles spasmed around his cock and my legs began to tremble.

  Darcy wrapped his hands around my hips and it was a glorious sight. It was such a turn-on to see those large, rough hands dwarf my waist. Then he leaned forward and wrapped his mouth around my nipple, sucking hard, biting down lightly with his teeth at the exact same moment he pulled me down roughly onto his cock.

  My body expanded around him. The bite of the sudden change was shocking in the best way. He held me down hard, rocking his hips against my clit, his cock filling me to the point of too full. Then with his other hand he cupped my breast, found my nipple, and rolled.

  I came hard, flying apart and collapsing together all at once.

  “Oh, Darcy! Oh God…” I cried out as pulse after electric pulse surged through my body, my muscles contracting so hard I bowed over his shoulder.

  “Yes,” he grunted. “Fuck, yes, Nicki. Oh babe.”

  I collapsed against him and he took control, pumping up faster and faster until he went rigid, coming deep and hard inside me.

  I was exhausted in the best way possible, but Darcy was just getting started.

  He gently rolled me onto my back. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into my en suite toilet and then a moment later his hands were on my thighs as he wrenched them apart. “Grab the slats and hold on tight, darlin’.”

  I didn’t have time to think before his mouth was on my clit, demanding a second orgasm. So I did as he asked and grabbed onto the slats of the headboard. I was so sensitive that every breath, every lick was almost overwhelming.

  He was fast and insistent with his mouth. Sucking hard on my swollen clit, his fingers deep inside me. “I have dreamed about the way you taste,” his voice vibrated against me, “for the last two years.” Then he groaned. “You taste even better than I remember.”

  With two fingers deep inside me, my core began to pulse again. He ran his other hand over my belly, massaging and caressing. Then up to my breast—a jolt of pleasure connecting from above and below.

  I flew apart and he didn’t stop until he’d felt the very last tremble leave my body, then he rose up on his knees and took his cock in his hand, pumping fast and hard. “I’ve wanted to see this for so long.”

  I peeked out from behind my lashes watching his fist fly, feeling powerful and turned at the sight. “And what’s that?”

  “Seeing you completely undone by me.”

  And then his jaw thrust forward, a deep, primal grunt echoing through the room as Darcy came again, his eyes locked on mine with a promise.

  What that promise was, I didn’t know.

  All I did know was that it was the kind that reached inside my soul and grabbed on with both fists.

  7

  He pressed his forehead against mine, eyes screwed shut and breathless. “I’m going to hate myself for what I’m about to say.”

  I already knew what he was thinking and I didn’t want him to say it any more than I wanted to hear it—even if it was the smart play. “Then don’t. Let’
s just lay like this a little longer.”

  He winced and a faint moan escaped the back of his throat. “Fuck, Nicki. We’re both pushing our luck as it is.” Then he tilted my chin up so that he could look me in the eyes. “You know I don’t want to leave you, right?”

  I nodded.

  His shoulders relaxed. “Because I don’t. I never want to let you go. But…”

  “Father.”

  He nodded. “And Ian.”

  Ian. “Damn it.”

  I tried to pull away but he refused to let me squirm out of his grasp. “We did nothing wrong. You don’t love him.”

  I didn’t. But I also wasn’t entirely sure where the line between freedom and stupidity was either. “Just the same.”

  “Just the same, my ass. You are not a bargaining chip. The only reason I’m letting you go is so that we don’t get ourselves killed. We need to be smart.”

  And that was the crux of everything: why I was with Ian in the first place, why I worried about Darcy, and why he was ready to push me out of bed. If Father found out we were together he’d kill Darcy and make my life a living hell. I’d be locked back up in this room faster than I could spit.

  “I don’t know what to do, Darcy. I can’t simply reject Ian. Father won’t allow it.”

  He ran his heavy thumb over my cheek and along my jaw as he searched my eyes. “We have to find something on Ian. Something your father won’t be able to live with.”

  I opened my mouth to protest the impossibility of finding anything that would deter Father, but Darcy placed a finger over my lips and shushed me. “This is a business transaction, is it not?”

  What was Darcy thinking? I nodded slowly and a mischievous glint came into his eyes. “Then we have to remove the incentive. If we can make Ian look more like a liability and less like a golden goose, then your father won’t want to waste his only daughter.”

  “Or we could run away.”

  The glint in his eyes disappeared. “If it were that easy you’d have done it by now.”