by Steph Post
He stared out the window for about twenty minutes, not thinking, not even really feeling, just listening to the hum of the wheels kissing the pavement below him and the lull of radio music turned down so low only the rhythmic pulse of the bass could be discerned. He watched two cloud formations pass each other like ghost ships in the night. When he was a child, James had spent many long, hot afternoons laying out in the tangerine grove behind the trailer and watching the clouds slip behind the gaps in the tree leaves. If he let his vision go fuzzy, the trees against the sky became a kaleidoscopic show playing out above him. One afternoon, James witnessed an entire circus, complete with elephants, trapeze artists, and popcorn vendors. There was even a sword swallower manifested by a towering cumulonimbus cloud amassing behind the spindly citrus branches. But, as so often happens in Florida summers, the clouds would begin to overwhelm the blue in the sky and by late afternoon James would have to decide whether or not to give up his daydreams and retreat back to the real world of shelter or take his chances with the lightning. More often than not, James would stay for the rain, letting it streak across his face until all he could do was close his eyes and open his mouth, tasting the sweet realm of imagination on his tongue.
James watched the clouds out of the window until he had a cramp in the right side of his back and had to twist in the seat, giving away his safe façade of sleep and confronting the reality of the day. Rabbit immediately noticed his movements.
“You awake?”
James sat up straight in his seat and rubbed the sleep off his face. He stretched his arms out in front of him, pressing his hands against the dashboard.
“My eyes are open, ain’t they? Where are we?”
“Last sign I saw was for Lamont. I’m guessing we’re maybe thirty miles outside of Tallahassee. You know I ain’t never been there before? Always kinda wanted to.”
James dug into his pocket.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. See the capitol building or something. Seems like it might feel kinda important to stand in front of it. Have my picture taken or something.”
“Well, I been to Tallahassee. There ain’t shit there.”
Rabbit turned and eyed his brother.
“Really? Ain’t there no capitol building? Like in the history books at school?”
James squinted his eyes as he lit a cigarette.
“Sure, there’s the capitol building. Just not a whole lot else.”
“Oh.”
Rabbit turned back to face the unfolding two-lane road. James looked at his brother and changed his tone.
“But if we’re going through there anyway, we could always drive past the capitol. Maybe get out and take a picture real quick.”
Rabbit smiled to himself, not sure if James was serious or messing with him, but content with the thought. James rolled down the window on the passenger side, then looked back over his shoulder as the air came rushing through. Marlena was sleeping curled up in the back seat of the Jeep, face to the tan upholstery, and knees drawn up so as to fit into the cramped space. James watched her to make sure the air hadn’t woken her up. When she didn’t move, he turned back around and leaned one arm out the window.
They had managed to get out of Crystal Springs just as dawn was breaking. James’ truck was too small to fit all of them, and Rabbit’s purple Caprice was too conspicuous. Everyone knew it belonged to him. They decided to take Marlena’s Jeep instead. They parked Rabbit’s car five miles down a dirt road, behind an abandoned trailer in a pine grove that used to belong to his buddy Mac, and left James’ truck behind The Blue Diamond.
In the bar parking lot, they had wasted time while Marlena sat in the Jeep and Rabbit and James argued about Rabbit going back to his trailer. Rabbit complained that he needed clean clothes and the cash he had hidden in a Popsicle box in the back of the freezer. James told him they could stop at a Walmart and get whatever Rabbit needed if he would just get in the goddamn Jeep already. Finally, Marlena ended the conversation by revving the Jeep engine and telling them to both get their asses in the car or she was going home, locking her doors, and pretending she had never heard of either one of them when Big Ted came knocking. They got in the car.
Marlena was asleep in the back seat before they left Alachua County. Rabbit had continued to complain: that he didn’t have a toothbrush, that he shouldn’t have to drive because he had only gotten five hours of sleep, that he didn’t see why they couldn’t stop at Hardee’s and get a biscuit. James had finally rolled over and gone to sleep himself, trying to tune out Rabbit’s incessant griping.
James flicked his cigarette out the window, but kept it rolled down, enjoying the cool air blowing across his face. For a moment, it almost seemed like he was just taking a road trip with his brother, not running from men trying to kill them or hunting a thief with a bag full of cash.
“Did I tell you I went out to Daddy’s grave?”
“Yeah?”
“It looked real nice. Coulda done a better job with the headstone, but it was alright. I wish I coulda been there when he was buried. I wish I coulda seen him before, you know, before it happened. Or talked to him. He ever say much ‘bout me?”
Rabbit thought about it for a moment.
“Nah, not really. I mean, well, no, come to think of it.”
“Oh.”
“But Daddy weren’t no real talker to begin with. And he certainly weren’t after he got sick like he did.”
“Did he change much?”
James had turned toward Rabbit and was watching him. Rabbit took a sip of cold coffee and grimaced.
“Shit, man. I thought that gas station coffee was bad enough when it was hot.”
“We’ll stop in Tallahassee like I said and get something to drink. Eat too. I’m starving, myself.”
Rabbit nodded and adjusted himself in the seat. Then he realized that James was still looking at him, waiting for him to continue talking about Orville.
“I guess Daddy did kinda change. Just got more quiet. Let Mama do all the running of the store. He would just sit out front and not even talk to the people coming in. Or he’d be at the VFW all day getting lit up to the gills.”
“Well, that sounds like always.”
“Yeah, but he’d come home and wouldn’t say nothing. Just go on back to the grove, like he used to done, but it was different somehow. I don’t know how to explain it, you know I ain’t good at putting stuff into words, but it was like he was tired or something. Like, really tired. Maybe of living. I don’t know. Went out with a bang, though.”
Rabbit grinned, hoping that James would find it as funny as he did. James didn’t smile, but didn’t reprimand Rabbit either.
“I guess that’s how he would have wanted it.”
“Sure he woulda.”
They drove in silence for a few miles until they crossed a narrow, unnamed bridge. Down below, cypress knees rose out of the muck, clawing their way toward the sky. Rabbit broke the quiet.
“Hey, you remember that one time Daddy took us fishing?”
“He took us fishing lots of times.”
“Yeah, but remember when he took us out to Sweet Water Lake? I was maybe eight. We stayed at the KOA and everything. Just the three of us. We left Mama at home.”
James sifted back through his childhood.
“Was that the time it rained and the tent roof busted a hole?”
“Yeah. Daddy woke up yelling that we was all drowning, that it was a flood come to take us all away. Course, weren’t no more than a half inch of rain, but Daddy could get excited like that. The tent was ruined, but he wouldn’t take us to no motel. Made us all sleep in the station wagon.”
“I remember that. God, that car smelled awful. I can remember the stink more than anything. Mama was gonna cut his balls off when we brought her car home like that.”
James heard Marlena shift around in the back seat, but when he looked, she still had her eyes closed. They were shut tight and her forehead was furrowed, as if she w
as concentrating on something, but her breath had the slow, regular rhythm of sleep. James thought she must be dreaming, but of what, he didn’t want to know. Rabbit chuckled to himself.
“Then he took us fishing in the morning.”
James turned back around.
“We went fishing off that bridge, right? The one that was closed with the ‘No Trespassing’ sign on it. You were scared, but Daddy told us that sign was just for Yankee tourists who couldn’t catch a fish if you set it in their hands.”
“That’s the one. We catch anything, you remember?”
“I don’t think so. But I do remember the park ranger showing up and Daddy lighting out like a SWAT team was coming after him. Ran so fast he left us standing there holding the poles.”
James finally allowed a smile and Rabbit laughed.
“I always wondered what that was all ‘bout. What he’d done, I mean. Never did tell us, did he?”
James shook his head.
“Nope. But then I think there were a lot of things Daddy might’ve done to be scared of the law for.”
Rabbit kept grinning.
“Guess that’s where I get it from, huh?”
His smiled faded when he saw the look on James’ face.
“Hell, James. Look, this is the last thing I wanted to happen. I really did just want to hang out, maybe throw the ball ‘round, shoot the shit, like old times. I didn’t mean to get you and her involved in all this mess.”
James stared out the windshield.
“I know. But you did.”
~ ~ ~
“I always thought it would have gold on top of it or something.”
“It’s just a building.”
“Still, it coulda been something special. I wouldn’t even of known it was the capitol ‘less you pointed out that sign.”
Rabbit had insisted on driving through downtown Tallahassee, even though James agreed with Marlena that they should probably stick to the back roads. Compelled by hunger and the need to use the bathroom, they had given in to Rabbit. They had driven downtown, past the capitol building so Rabbit could get his look, and then they headed to the western outskirts of town. They stopped at a diner with a marquee advertising the owner’s love for Jesus and a $2.99 breakfast plate. The Pepto-pink vinyl booth squeaked when James sat down and slid over, and there was a layer of sticky film plastered to the tabletop and menus, but it was good to be out of the car. James was not a very good passenger, and he had been ready to stretch, eat, and take over the wheel.
A waitress with a greasy round button pinned to her blue apron that proclaimed “Hi, My Name is Peg! Try our Banana Cream Pie!” set their food down in front of them. She was easy with Marlena’s BLT and James’ burger, but made a point to slap down Rabbit’s chili cheese fries.
“You know that ain’t on the menu, right? The cook wanted to make sure I told you that.”
The waitress, with thinning hair dyed reddish-purple and plucked eyebrows of the same color, crossed her arms in front of her heaving chest and pursed her lips. Marlena and James both looked away toward the condiments. Rabbit leaned over his plate, confronting the woman.
“Well, you got fries, ain’t you? And you got cheese to go on them burgers and sandwiches. And it said right there on the menu that you could order either a cup or a bowl of chili. So now, are you telling me it’s goddamn rocket science to put that all together on one plate?”
“Excuse me?”
“And where’s my sour cream? I know I said a side of sour cream.”
The waitress kept her arms crossed in front of her and stalked away. Rabbit picked up a handful of chili-soaked fries and stuffed them into his mouth. Marlena stared at him as she lifted her sandwich and poked the soggy bacon back into the tooth-picked triangle. She glanced over at James to see his reaction, but he was chewing steadily while reading the back of the ketchup bottle. Marlena put her sandwich down.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Rabbit looked up, a string of cheese dangling from the corner of his mouth.
“What?”
“You didn’t have to talk to her like that. You didn’t need to give her that attitude.”
Rabbit wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and narrowed his eyes at her.
“What, are you suddenly Miss Manners or something? You gonna tell me now how I need to tuck my napkin in and sit up straight?”
Marlena opened her mouth, about to say something else, but instead, slid off the sticky seat and marched toward the dim hallway with a restroom sign hanging from the ceiling. James calmly put the ketchup bottle back in the condiment tray and wiped his fingers with a paper napkin.
“Since you didn’t answer her, answer me. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Rabbit threw down a fry in disgust and rubbed his hands together, transferring chili sauce from one to the other.
“What’s the big deal ‘bout how I talk to a waitress? You want me to apologize? I’ll go apologize. I’ll do it right now.”
Rabbit twisted around and shouted toward the front of the restaurant.
“Hey, waitress! Waitress!”
James leaned over the table and grabbed the sleeve of Rabbit’s T-shirt. Rabbit turned around with a smirk on his face.
“I guess she don’t care none, ‘cause she don’t seem to be in no big hurry to get over here.”
“Shut up about the waitress. I mean, what’s wrong with you overall? You been jumping all over the place, more than usual, you can’t sit still to save your life, and you’re sweating like a whore in church. You got something you want to tell me?”
Rabbit slurped his soda, forcing the straw down through the ice to make as much noise as possible.
“No.”
James looked toward the restrooms and then back at Rabbit.
“You got something you want to tell me now, so that you can save a little bit of face in front of her?”
Rabbit abruptly pushed his plate away and started peeling tiny strips off his napkin. James wanted to rip the paper out of Rabbit’s hands, but instead tried to wait patiently until Rabbit spoke. His voice was a raspy whisper.
“I need a pill.”
James sighed and leaned back against the vinyl seat.
“You got a problem with this oxy bullshit you been pushing?”
Rabbit scooped the mound of paper curls into his hand and dumped them onto his plate. He wouldn’t look at James.
“I told you I needed to go back to my trailer. I told you. But you two just wouldn’t listen. You just love telling me what to do all the time. Rabbit, do this. Rabbit, do that. I needed one little thing. I just needed to get my stuff, but no, you ain’t got no time for me.”
James looked over and saw Marlena coming out of the hallway. He had been about to say something, but he clamped his mouth shut. He couldn’t decide if Marlena should know about this or not. She turned and went toward the front of the restaurant instead of their table, but James leaned over and spoke quietly anyway.
“Is this gonna be an issue? You better just let me know right now, ‘cause I am not about to drive all the way to Mississippi with a geeked-out junkie.”
Rabbit shook his head.
“No, it ain’t like that. I ain’t no junkie. I ain’t one of them dumb tweakers can’t get off it. Hell, I’m not even on it. I just get stressed out and I get nervous and then that nerve in my back starts acting up. Hurts like you wouldn’t believe sometimes, you know? Remember how I messed up that nerve playing football in the backyard that one time? I’m in pain and then—”
James cut him off. Marlena was walking back toward them with a take-out box in one hand and a receipt in the other.
“Is it gonna be an issue, Rabbit?”
“No.”
“Alright then.”
Marlena came up to the table and started squishing her sandwich into the Styrofoam container.
“I paid, so let’s go.”
Rabbit stood up and shoved his hands down in his pockets.
“Marlena, I didn’t mean it like that, what I said to that lady.”
She closed the lid on the box and tossed her hair back. The anger was gone from her face, but she wasn’t smiling. James suddenly realized that there had been no reason to talk secretively. Marlena had known all along what was going on, and she was worried. James wondered if he should be more concerned than he was.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Rabbit pulled the Jeep keys out of his pocket.
“Still want me to drive?”
James snatched the keys out of Rabbit’s hand.
“No. If it’s alright with Marlena, I’m gonna drive for a while. And you’re sitting in the back seat.”
NINE
James rolled over on the lumpy mattress, trying to find a spot that didn’t have a spring about to break free of the few centimeters of padding and stab him in the back. It was no use. He sat up and opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the orange glow created by the streetlight filtering in through the window’s thin curtains. The Palms motel had advertised $39.99 a room on the yellow marquee beneath a blinking pink and green neon palm tree, and the rooms definitely reflected the rate. James had planned on making it to Pensacola before they stopped, but Marlena suggested they stay away from the big cities. No one had outright said it yet, but James could tell she was worried about being followed and found before they had a chance to get to Waylon. Besides, the lack of any real sleep was beginning to wear on everyone. Rabbit had stayed silent since Tallahassee, sweating and grinding his teeth in the back seat, and Marlena and James hadn’t spoken much either. They let the static-plagued radio channels fill the void in the Jeep and lull them into the subliminal state that only long stretches of highway can induce. More than once, James was startled as a Mack Truck came screaming past him. When Marlena pointed out the sign for the small town of Fountain, James had no problem making the turn.
