Twisting You

by Simone Elise

  “Good.” I nodded my head. The pain was ripping me in half. “I’m leaving once the school year finishes.”

  “You’ve been happy the last few days.” Xavier’s voice was low. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. “I’m guessing someone has been influencing that.”

  I thought about the last few days. Alec and I had spent each day together. Alec had made it his mission to entertain me. We went rock climbing the day before yesterday, and yesterday we went ice-skating. Much to his amusement, I actually was better at surfing than skating.

  “Yeah. I’ve been hanging out with Alec. Though I wonder how you would know that?” I asked, frowning, studying Xavier’s face as his eyes stared down at the floor.

  “I feel your emotions.” Xavier shrugged his shoulders. “I have been able to since your birthday.”

  “WHAT!” My voice got a little higher. “That’s not right, you can’t...”

  “I can. I don’t know why.” Xavier cut me off and looked into my eyes. “Though over the last few days, it has gotten weaker. The bond is…”

  “Not as strong?” I finished his sentence. “Well, that is how it is meant to be.”

  “No it’s not.” Xavier’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not meant to be losing you. I’m meant to be keeping you.”

  “Xavier, are you going to leave Emily?”

  “I can’t,” he stuttered, as if he were torn.

  “You won’t,” I corrected him, not angry with him or hurt by his decision. I was coming to terms with the fact we weren’t going to be together. “You don’t want to.”

  “I love you, Chloe.” Xavier’s eyes filled with tears. He meant it.

  I rose from my chair and went to stand in front of him. With a shaky hand, I cupped his cheek. “I love you too. How can I not? You’re my mate.”

  Xavier reached out and took my other hand. “I’m stopping you from being free. But it is so hard to let you go.” A small tear slid down from his right eye. I wiped it away from with my thumb.

  “It’s not easy,” I admitted, speaking the truth while fighting my own tears. “But you have two beautiful boys.”

  Xavier’s cold (why cold?) eyes were locked with mine and all I saw was love and hurt. “I thought I could keep you.”

  “You love Emily. Even if you don’t think you do.” As I blinked, the tears slid down my cheeks. “I know you love me too.”

  “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for making you jealous. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry that I have wasted a year of your life. I’m sorry that I can’t leave Emily. I’m sorry I can’t spend the rest of my life with you. But most of all I’m sorry for twisting your emotions. I will always love you.” Gently he wiped the tears away from under my eyes. “You’ve always deserved better.”

  “I love you, Xavier. You have to know it’s going to kill me to walk away from you right now.”

  I stepped slowly away from him. A grim smile was on his face. “If it helps at all, I can’t feel your pain. I suppose that means you made the right decision.”

  A sudden feeling of regret washed over me. I never knew he could feel my emotions. But now knowing he couldn’t anymore brought an unsettling feeling to my stomach.

  “You might not be able to feel it, but it’s there.” I dropped my hand from his cheek. “It always will be.”

  Xavier nodded his head. His steamy eyes, which I once lost myself in, were now dipped in grief. “I’ve taken leave for the rest of the year. You won’t be seeing me after today.”

  I swallowed the bitterness of hearing those words. “I’ll still see you at pack meetings.” Was I clinging to the possibility of seeing him again?

  “I spoke to your dad. We have arranged that the family and I will take a vacation. We come back the day after you leave.”

  My mouth fell open a little. This was it. I wouldn’t see him again. “So this is goodbye?”

  Xavier nodded his head, “I don’t want it to be, but I can’t cause you any more pain. Another month of suffering, I can’t do that to you.”

  His words were making sense, but that didn’t mean I wanted to hear them. “And when I return from traveling, you will be here?”

  Xavier’s face twisted, his pain showing. “No.”

  “You’re moving away.” I spoke through the tears. This was really it. “I suppose that’s for the best.”

  “For the both of us,” he added, as if trying to comfort me.

  “This isn’t fair.” I choked, feeling as if my heart was caving into my chest. I was suffocating, from my own heartache.

  “I know you will be ok.” Xavier didn’t reach out to comfort me. “You’re strong, and I’m leaving you in good hands.”

  I nodded my head. I knew he was right. But that didn’t mean I wanted to hear it. But I had to face it. Xavier and I were really over.

  Xavier moved forward. “I’ll leave, so you don’t have to.” My hand clung to his shirt as he pulled me into his chest and softly planted a kiss on my forehead. The moment lasted for a second, but to me it lasted forever, because I never wanted to let him go.

  “I love you,” he said, and slowly stepped away. Gently, he took my hand from his shirt, and gently left a goodbye kiss on the back of my hand.

  “Goodbye, Xavier,” I whispered, finally looking up at him through teary eyes. “I love you too.”

  Xavier slowly stepped back. Just like me, he didn’t want this to end. He smiled softly through his watery eyes. “You’re going to lead a great life, Chloe. I hope one day we will cross paths again.”

  “One day,” I whispered, and Xavier and I locked eyes one last time before he turned his back to me. He didn’t look back and I knew I wouldn’t see him again.

  I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive. Xavier was gone forever. But surely I would see him again, wouldn’t I?

  Why was I even considering seeing him again after everything he had put me through?

  “Chloe, you’re home.” Dad walked out of his study, surprised to see me. “I thought you might be staying at Alec’s tonight.”

  Seeing that I had stayed there the last few nights, I suppose that was a good guess. I knew Dad could see my ruined makeup and stained eyes, but he didn’t comment.

  “He is gone, Dad. Xavier, he let me go.”

  Dad gave me a weak smile and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. “So he told you he leaves tonight?”

  “Tonight?” I frowned and pulled back to look up at Dad. “They’re leaving tonight for their vacation?”

  “Vacation?” Dad frowned. “No, relocation. They’re moving.”

  “But he told me he was going on vacation and then coming back to move after I leave.”

  “He most likely told you that so you wouldn’t realize it was actually goodbye forever. I’m sure he was just trying to make it easier on you.”

  “Easier on me?” I shook my head. “How does that make it easier on me? He’s leaving tonight and I’m never going to see him again.”

  “This is why he didn’t tell you,” Dad pointed out, with a calm voice. “Chloe, you know it had to be done.”

  “But that doesn’t mean I wanted it to be tonight.” I pulled away from Dad and quickly made my way out the front door. Running down the steps, I heard Dad yelling behind me, asking me where I was going. But right now I didn’t have time to stop, not when my mate was about to fly away forever.

  I pushed people out of my way as I ran through the airport. I searched the thousands of people for Xavier. But I couldn’t see him.

  I ran down the terminals, passing shops and cafes. Where was he? I looked over the tops of heads and still couldn’t spot him. I didn’t even pay attention to the glances I was getting from people as I rudely forced my way past them.

  Then a familiar voice caught my attention and I came to a complete stop. Walking around a few people, my eyes scanned the seats. Then I found
the source of the voice that would always stop me in my tracks.

  Xavier was calmly separating Nathan and Charlie from each other. They seemed to be fighting. I was taking in every detail of Xavier, knowing that soon I would not be able to admire him.

  I wasn’t sure how long I watched before Charlie’s little eyes landed on mine and he pointed, yelling “Choc!”

  Xavier spun around, rising to his feet. My eyes wouldn’t leave his, though we both didn’t make a move to get closer.

  Surely one more word had to be said. Surely there had to be more for us.

  Boarding was being called over the speakers. I knew our moment was coming to an end. Emily was the one that pulled Xavier’s eyes from mine. The frozen state we were in for moments was now over.

  I raised my hand, and he did the same. I noticed the peace in his eyes. He seemed glad that the last time we saw each other wasn’t overshadowed by a lie.

  I watched him walk down the gangway with his family. His head turned over his shoulder and he shot me a small smile. As their bodies disappeared, I walked towards the window, looking at the plane they were boarding.

  I didn’t know where they were going. I knew I could find out by looking at the destination board. But also I knew that it didn’t matter and it was for the best if I didn’t know.

  He had to be with Emily, and finally he realized he had to let me go.

  I leaned my head against the cold window and watched his plane take off into the night sky. The lights of the plane disappeared. It was painful, but what brought me little comfort was that he did this for me, because he did love me. And that fact made a small smile cross my lips.

  He did love me.

  ***

  I paused at my bedroom door. I was still coming to terms with the fact it was over. Finally opening the bedroom door, I closed it softly behind me and slowly I took in my room.

  “Took you long enough.” Alec jumped off my bed, which was covered in junk food. “Ok, so I have every sweet thing you could possibly want, loads of chocolate. Tissues and heaps of girly movies, but most importantly...” Alec looked at me a little awkwardly, not sure what my reaction would be. “I’m here.” He opened his arms.

  I launched myself into him, and his arms wrapped around me. I had him.

  “Don’t worry, Chloe. You will get through this.”

  I closed my eyes and held onto him closer. “How?” I choked.

  “Time heals all wounds.” Alec brushed the hair from my face. “Trust me.”

  “I know you’re right, but…”

  “It doesn’t mean much right now,” Alec cut in, his face soft with kindness.

  I nodded my head, and leaned my head back into Alec’s chest. “I don’t have to leave now. He’s gone.”

  “Travelling is fun,” Alec said. “Plus I have been sort of looking forward to going with you.”

  I pulled my head back and looked up at him, his strong arms still keeping me against his chest. Alec was comforting me, even though I was crying over another man while I was his girlfriend.

  “I think we should still go away after school ends.” Alec grinned. “Someone has to protect you from yourself.”

  I laughed, but it came out more as a choke. “Aren’t you just extremely nice?” I joked, but my voice was dry.

  “Chloe?”

  “Umm?”

  “You’re not going to go through this by yourself. I promise.” Alec’s voice was soft. He kissed the top of my head. “You will get through this.”

  I knew he was right. How could I not get through this. I had him.

  I clenched Alec’s shirt more tightly and he stroked my hair. Looking out my window into the night sky, my thoughts turned to Xavier. Xavier was right. I was going to lead a great life, even if he wasn’t going to be part of it.

  I closed my eyes and took comfort in Alec’s arms. I couldn’t help but think that things worked out for the best. Xavier was happy. Maybe not right now. But he will be, with his family. As for me, I knew in time I would overcome this. And when I did, I would lead a better life because of what Xavier did tonight. He let me go.

  We were both freed from the bond we shared and we would both be better off in the long run. The temporary pain of our loss would pass, and, in the end, we’ll gain a better life. From now on, Xavier wouldn’t be able to twist my emotions anymore.