Yours Forever

by Joya Ryan

  “I know,” Cal said with a soft understanding. “I feel the same, brother. I can’t let her go either. So, where does that leave us?”

  Though I couldn’t see them, I knew Jack. Knew the intense gaze he got when thinking through a problem. I could envision him subtly shaking his head.

  “I don’t know.”

  That was a direct hit to my lungs. Jack always knew. Always had a plan. Yet I was beyond his logic and coming between them. Bile rose in my throat because it was the last thing I’d ever wanted to do.

  “All this will end, eventually,” Jack finally said. “We have her now, but I don’t know for how long.”

  I heard a rustle of movement and pictured Cal crossing his arms over his chest. “We won’t get another chance after this.”

  “No, we won’t. So, we have now. We have her now. And all we can do is use this time wisely.”

  “You mean…”

  “I mean we have to suck it up and let her choose. Give her whatever she needs while we can, and in the end, it’s up to her who she takes home with her.”

  “Fuck,” Cal whispered, which was exactly what I was thinking. Because I told them I couldn’t choose, and I meant it. But they told me they’d fight. So there we were, all three of us battling each other and the future and our own wills.

  “So, that’s the plan?” Cal asked. “That we have no plan.”

  “As much as I hate it, yes. Because she’s more important than our plans and we put her in this position to start with.”

  Another rustle came, and I knew for sure it was Cal this time, pacing and running a hand through his hair like he did when he realized he was lacking control. Both my alpha males were lacking control, and I knew it was killing them. Jack would be standing still. Unimaginably still.

  “I hate this feeling,” Cal said. “Fear was never my strong point.”

  Jack scoffed in a way that held a hint of a smile in the note. “I’m aware. It’s not my strong point either.”

  Cal chuckled, but there was nothing funny in his tone. “I thought you told me once that the great Jack Powell wasn’t scared of anything.”

  “I was eleven,” he replied quickly. “And you shouldn’t talk, seeing as how you live for the rush of danger.”

  “Not this kind of danger,” Cal muttered. “The only time I get worried is when you are.” They were brothers, right down to the way they spoke to each other. They depended on one another and looked for different kinds of guidance.

  “I’m not worried,” Jack said. “I’m afraid.”

  My brows shot up. I’d never heard the rawness that was tainting Jack’s words right then.

  “I’m afraid because I know the truth,” he finished. “I need Lana…but she needs you.”

  Jack’s admission cut through my ribs and pierced my lungs like a sniper shot. I squeezed my eyes shut and sank to my knees.

  Gently shutting my door, I rested my head against the wall and two tears slid down my face. One for each of them. They were trying to give me space. Trying to support me and challenge me and love me in the way they knew how, while fighting each other and their own instinct to do it.

  I had been crushed, hurting from the “arrangement” they’d made. But everything had shifted.

  I was now the one hurting them.

  And I couldn’t bear it.

  The best thing I could do for them was to stay away. A tricky feat, since I had nowhere to go and no money to speak of. But I could try. Tomorrow, I’d figure something out. Right then, all I could do was wipe the tears away and do the best thing for all of us.

  Stay away.

  ~

  “Lana?” A smooth voice beckoned from beyond the brink of sleep. I opened my eyes, at least I tried to. Jack was calling me.

  “Lana?” I frowned, hearing my name again. It was Cal this time.

  Struggling past a swollen sting, I forced my eyes to creak open. Blur from last night’s tears hit me as Cal and Jack came into focus. They were standing over me, looking down.

  Last night’s events hit me hard.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. It was the only thing that made sense. The sunlight was bleeding through the cracks in the window, showing that it was in fact a new day, bright with consequences and reality.

  Jack frowned, Cal just shook his head.

  “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you slept in. You needed it.”

  Jack nodded once in agreement and I wanted to tell them that that wasn’t what I was sorry for. I was sorry for what I’d heard—no—sorry for what I was putting them through.

  “We need to talk,” I whispered as I sat up, hoping to shake the morning—afternoon now—grog off. I didn’t know how, but I needed to get away and leave them alone before I caused any more damage. Yes, what I had with each of them was in the past, but that was no reason to make the relationship between the two of them harder.

  “I agree,” Jack said. Not to my thoughts, but to my previous statement. Yet he spoke so bluntly that it pricked my chest, thinking for a moment he’d read my mind and wanted me gone too.

  “I want to check in with the insurance today on the house.” Harper and I had a renter’s insurance policy. I was waiting on that money so I could get another place to live and rebuild my life. They’d said “after the new year,” but staying on top of them would be a good thing. The sooner I got that money, the sooner I had options of supporting myself.

  “We can do that, but first we need to talk to you.” Cal sat on the bed next to me, while Jack gripped the footboard, slightly bending over, staring my way. They both looked…concerned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Your phone was ringing off the hook this morning,” Jack said plainly. “I ignored it several times, but when the same number kept calling, I answered.”

  When I frowned, he didn’t apologize, just waited for me to challenge him and I knew that look well. He was ready to defend his actions, but Cal spoke up before the exchange of wills passed between us.

  “The same number calling back to back had us thinking maybe it was an emergency or…”

  “Or the asshole after you was being stupid enough to call you and we could finally find him,” Jack cut in. Ah, so he was noble in his actions and wasn’t invading my privacy just to be frustrating.

  “Okay,” I acknowledged. “Who was it then?”

  “It was the police,” Cal said calmly. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and I saw Jack glance away. I closed my eyes for a moment to try to handle my crushing chest, but Cal’s gaze snared me. “They are officially investigating your father’s death as a homicide now. Suicide has been ruled out.”

  I swallowed hard, but nothing else would flood me. Just that numbness I’d gotten good at the past several weeks.

  “You don’t seem surprised,” Jack said. His grip was tight on the footboard, like he was keeping in all the emotions he couldn’t say.

  “I guess I’m not surprised. I knew this was a possibility. But, now that it’s real, it’s…” I shook my head. “Hard to wrap my mind around.”

  Cal nodded and cupped my shoulder, ensuing me with strength as if he knew I needed it. “They want to ask you some questions if you’re up for it.” He set my cell next to me. “We can either go to the station or they’ll come here.”

  “They aren’t coming here,” Jack cut in, his eyes narrowing on Cal when he went to argue. “No one knows of this place or that she’s here, and I want to keep it that way. Whoever set fire to the house is still out there.”

  Cal exhaled loudly and shot Jack a glance before saying to me, “He’s got a point. So, if you’d like, Jack and I will take you to Denver today to talk to the police.”

  “But, we’re staying with you at all times and you’re coming right back here,” Jack added.

  I tried to glare at him, but couldn’t. It was the most incredible thing I’d ever seen. Being surrounded by both Jack and Cal was incredible. They both came from a place of concern. I knew that. But how they went
about it was so different it was almost humorous.

  I smiled slightly and adjusted in bed, tucking my feet beneath me. Because despite their caring or my safety, I needed to stick to my plan of leaving.

  “I would appreciate a ride into Denver, but then I won’t be coming back,” I said.

  Jack laughed. Honest to God laughed, and it caught me off-guard both with confusion, surprise, and glee because the laugh was hypnotic.

  “You are kidding yourself if you think that’s going happen.” His dark eyes zeroed in on me. “But leave it to you to fight against every damn thing I say.”

  “I’m not trying to fight you.”

  “Good,” he said. “Because I’m not going to go through this with you again, Lana. You are in danger. You’re staying here until all this shit is straightened out. Do you understand?”

  A low simmering growl broke my throat. I used to love when he said that to me. Demanded. Put me in his care, his command, and I trusted him. I still did, despite my best efforts, but I wasn’t going to stay and watch a life-long friendship implode because of me.

  “I should be getting money from the insurance claim, and I’ll—”

  “You’ll what? Stay at a different hotel? Find a new place? What about the person who set your house on fire? The person who hit you and Bea with their car? You think they’ll just magically leave you alone?”

  Jack’s words were sharp and cutting. Judging by the look in his eyes, that’s what he was going for. Because I was scared that this would never end. And the person who obviously wanted me dead was still out there. Worse, I was certain is was Brock.

  “I can’t stay here,” I tried to sound direct, but felt anything but.

  “Yes, you can. And I’m with Jack on this. I won’t let you go either.”

  “I’m ruining you!” I snapped and looked at Cal. He frowned.

  “What do you mean?” Jack asked pointedly.

  Truth time. There was no other choice than honesty.

  “I heard you last night,” I said. “I’m not going to choose, and I’m not going to come between you. I’m sorry for how this past week has gone. I’m sorry for a lot of things, but I’m not going to stay here and create more animosity between you two. I won’t. I lov—”

  Both of them perked up and their eyes fused to mine. I just shook my head and looked down.

  “Don’t stop talking now,” Cal said.

  “Say what you need to, Lana,” Jack agreed. “Otherwise, I’ll interpret your half-explanations and I can guarantee it’s better in my mind.”

  With a heavy breath, it took everything not to take the bait. Because I was ready to scream, “I love you, jackass!” but couldn’t. It’d make everything worse.

  “I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of running,” I glanced at Cal, then met Jack’s eyes, “and hiding.”

  It was painful to say and even more painful to see their expressions fall. The truth was, I wanted to be lost. Wanted to not be in this situation anymore. I didn’t want to be a bad thing in either of Jack or Cal’s life.

  “Running or hiding aside, you’re going to stay here until your safety is no longer an issue,” Jack said. “The idea that you’re causing problems between Cal and me is irrelevant and not completely true. If you heard us last night, then you also heard that you are our concern.” He waited a beat until I was fully staring at him. “Do you understand?” he asked once more with less venom. And that was what did me in. Jack was asking.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” Cal chimed in. “Jack?”

  “Perfectly fine,” Jack said confidently. “And I’m not looking to trap you. I just want to keep you is all.”

  “See?” Cal winked. “Let’s get through the New Year, figure out what this key is that your dad left, and sort all these questions out about the fire and his death, then we can move on from there.”

  “Move on?” I asked, looking at Cal.

  He nodded. “I have every intention of moving on from this whole mess I—we—made with you. And I’m sure as hell going to try to get you to move with me.”

  “In the meantime,” Jack said, cutting in. “Do you want to go to the police station?”

  “Yes.” I wanted to hear what they’d found about my dad. Wanted to be a part or help in any way I could.

  “And, after, you’re coming back here,” Cal said, half asking, half clarifying. I looked at him and had to trust that he and Jack really were okay. That things would somehow work out. They knew my stance. I knew theirs. Now it was time to let life play out how it would.

  Do what I have to do to get through this…

  “Yes,” I said.

  With a smile, Cal nodded, and I was pretty sure Jack grinned as well. I was treading in dark waters and I couldn’t pull myself to shore. The only alternatives were to keep fighting the current, or drown in the sea.

  They left me to get ready, and as I watched two strong, intense men walk away, knowing they wore their pride on their sleeves, I couldn’t help but wonder if drowning in that kind of darkness would be so bad.

  Chapter 15

  I didn’t realize how bitter the air was until I was sitting in the Denver police station. After having several days of breathing in the crisp scent of wide open space back at the cabin, the smell of the city was lacking. Or maybe it was the situation I found myself in.

  I sat near Detective Darrell Selander’s desk and shifted a bit in the plastic seat. It squeaked and jiggled a bit on its uneven legs. The detective ran a palm along the side of his stiffly gelled salt and pepper hair. His face held signs of wear that came with twenty-plus years on the force. He looked like an older, rougher version of Elvis.

  The faintest scent of Cal’s spicy soap danced beneath my nose. It was the only thing of comfort I clung to at the moment. That, and the way Jack’s eyes constantly swept over me from across the room, as he spoke with another officer.

  Cal’s hand rested on my shoulder, letting me know he was there, right behind me, supporting me.

  “Can you walk me through what you did the night of your father’s death one more time, Miss Case?” Darrell asked, clicking his pen and hovering it over an open file of what looked to be my original statement.

  “I was watching my house burn,” I said.

  He nodded. “I know you’ve had some issues of your own…”

  “Issues of her own?” Cal said, that fierce alpha voice coming to the surface. “Brock VanBuren assaulted her, her house was set on fire, and weeks before that, her home was burglarized and her car vandalized. These aren’t issues, this is a big fucking problem.”

  “Yes, you’re right,” the detective said with a slight catch in his voice. Couldn’t blame him. Cal was large and intimidating as hell when he was angry. “I just want to go over everything, make sure nothing was missed, because we’re taking this case very seriously. We think the trouble you’ve had, Miss Case, is related to your father’s murder.”

  “No shit,” Cal muttered.

  Detective Selander clearly chose to ignore his comment and move on.

  “If there is a connection to be made to Brock VanBuren, we want to make sure we present the strongest evidence possible.” He flipped through several papers on his desk, looked them over, frowning, then looked back at me. “You’re still waiting for the assault charges you brought against him to be seen by a judge?”

  “That’s right,” I said.

  The detective nodded. “But Brock was in the county jail the night the fire hit. We can account for his whereabouts during that time, but before and after is where it gets fuzzy, which is why we need to have something ironclad.”

  I nodded. It was starting to sound like the detective was really trying to solve my father’s murder and was thinking Brock wasn’t innocent in all this.

  “But you said that your home and car were broken into before the fire,” he flipped through more papers. “You reported nothing was stolen, though? Did you know it was Brock V
anBuren that broke in? Did you see him?”

  My lips pressed tight, because no, I hadn’t. I’d found out after that it was Brock because Erica told me. She had been there, driving the car that he took off in. I didn’t want to incriminate her, accidentally or not. It wasn’t worth the risk of her getting into trouble because Brock used her. She wouldn’t hurt me.

  “It wasn’t until Brock showed up at my house and assaulted me that I knew for sure he was behind everything. But now that my house is gone, discussing how it was broken into prior to the fire doesn’t really matter.”

  “It establishes a string of behavior if you saw him in your house.”

  But I didn’t see him. Yet I couldn’t say that without the likely follow-up question, asking how I did know then.

  “I reported what I knew at the time of the robbery. Can we discuss my father now please? You said this was now a homicide.”

  He nodded. “We are trying to make a timeline to narrow down suspects, though typically these kinds of cases don’t stray far from home or motive.”

  “Alright. Then, how can I help?”

  “I want to make sure the timeline of your whereabouts is clear.” My lips parted, and the last statement from the detective ticked through my mind. Was I a suspect? “Your father was killed the afternoon of the same night your house burned. Before you got to your home the night of the fire, where were you?”

  “Before or after she was assaulted?” Cal asked with raw anger. He was catching on to the same thing I was. I was being questioned in a way I hadn’t been ready for.

  “Let’s start with before,” the detective said. “What were you doing?”

  I searched my memory for that day, but it was all a blur of stress. “I think I ran some errands.”

  “Were you with anyone?”

  “No, not until I got home and Brock showed up.”

  “Showed up, pushed his way in, and assaulted you?” he clarified.

  “Yes.”

  “Then you went to the hospital.”

  “Yes.”

  “And, after that?” His questions were coming fast and I did my best to keep up.