Yours Forever

by Joya Ryan

  “So, you get to touch us, but we can’t touch you?” Jack asked.

  “Yep. Unless you’d like to amend those rules, then I don’t have to touch you either.”

  Both of them answered in unison, “No.”

  It shouldn’t make me as happy as it did, but…it did. I wasn’t looking to hang control over their heads, just trying to survive this time with them without destroying their friendship or what was left of any kind of soul I had. Because I wanted them so much it was starting to physically hurt. And they wanted me back. So, the struggle lay within myself to stick to this arrangement.

  “I warned you,” I said.

  Jack leaned in and in a deadly sexy tone, whispered, “But, you made the rules. You’ll pay for that little stunt, baby. I promise you that.”

  And that made a whole new memory flash to mind, when thinking of that last time Jack punished me. His hand slapping my ass was one of the best experiences of my life. And I so badly wanted to take him up on his threat.

  No, no touching.

  Jack finished off his cocoa, then looked at Cal. “She’s got some spark.”

  “Yeah, she does,” Cal said.

  Between the naughty thoughts, sexy smiles, and even sexier glares, I was having a hard time seeing, thinking, or even feeling straight.

  “It’s past midnight,” Cal said, glancing at his watch. Jack nodded and got up and walked down the hall.

  Did I miss something? I looked at Cal, who had a big grin on his face. Those dimples making crazy things happen to my heart. Jack came back into the room with two gifts and set them in front of me.

  “It’s officially Christmas,” Jack said, and resumed his seat on the other side of me. I looked at the two packages in front of me. One was wrapped in white paper with silver flecks on it, the other was in red glossy paper.

  “You didn’t need to do this,” I said, looking between the two of them. I wished I had gotten them something, but everything had been crazy. Yet, somehow, they managed this for me.

  “Don’t go getting all sad until you open them,” Cal said, reaching out to touch my shoulder, only to drop his hand before he did. Respecting the no touching rule. Only I felt awful for drafting such a rule, especially when I wanted his touch.

  “Open it,” Jack coaxed.

  With a deep breath, I took the red one. “That’s from me,” Cal said and bounced a little. Which was adorable, since he was large, tattooed, and everything about him could be intimidating if he wasn’t so wonderfully caring.

  I ripped at the paper and opened the box. I pulled out a blue Golden Fire T-shirt. Only it wasn’t Cal’s, it wasn’t oversized. It was my size.

  “The guys said you’re one of us and you needed your own shirt,” he said with a shrug. But, when I looked and saw a small piece of paper on the bottom of the box, I reached in and realized it was a recipe card.

  “Bea’s cranberry sauce?” I asked.

  Cal nodded. “She refuses to pass it down to anyone. It’s just for family. She gave it to me after I met you.”

  Tears stung my eyes. This was too much. It was simple, yet said something more than I could dare to hope. Something I’d once hoped for. Family. A sense of belonging. And Cal was the man who was so good at giving me that.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. I stopped myself from hugging and kissing him, which was one of the hardest things I’d ever done.

  He nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  I looked at Jack, his was the white present. I opened the box and unrolled something in tissue paper. I pulled out a small tree branch. No, wait, it wasn’t a tree branch. But it looked like it. It was a creamy color and felt fragile and rough to the touch. But the intricate pattern it was in made me think it was some kind of decorative piece.

  “Thank you,” I said, smiling.

  Jack just grinned. “You don’t know what it is, do you?”

  “Of course I do,” I said, and looked the branch thing in my hand again.

  “Truth,” he reminded me.

  I pursed my lips and said, “No, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what it is.”

  “Good. That means that you’ve never seen it before.”

  I looked at the piece again. Nope, couldn’t say that I have.

  “It’s lightning,” Jack said in a calm tone.

  My eyes shot wide and I looked at him, then at the mystery item in my hand. He had told me once that I was his light within the storm. Everything from that moment had changed because I knew then that we were unique. Our relationship was unique. And he’d made me feel special. Like he needed me.

  “How…how is that possible?” I whispered. Leave it to Jack to find a way to give me lightning.

  “It’s sand that was hit by lightning. Forever frozen from the place it marked.”

  The tears I’d been fighting back lined my eyes. I couldn’t fight the need to reach out. To either of them. So, I did just that.

  I wrapped my arm around the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

  When his lips met mine, I kissed him hard and deep and swiftly, backing away before I could start, because I’d get lost.

  I turned to Cal and pulled him in by the T-shirt and he crashed his lips on mine. Stealing one hot, brief kiss.

  “Thank you,” I whispered against him. Then pulled back to look at Jack. “Thank you both so much.”

  Getting pegged between a hot black stare and smoldering blue gaze, I didn’t know what to do. I knew what I wanted to do. What I wanted to say. But I couldn’t. I loved them. And it was tearing apart everything.

  I gathered my treasures and stood.

  “This was more than I ever expected,” I said. And I meant that beyond the gifts. Jack and Cal were beyond anything I ever thought my life would obtain. And I would lose them.

  With a final look at them, I walked to my room and shut the door. A loud exhale left my chest, because it took everything I had not to throw open the door and go running, begging for them to love me.

  But, which one?

  That was the question of my life. And, instead of answering it, I clutched my gifts and tried not to cry.

  Chapter 17

  I sank back into the large claw-foot tub. It had been a hell of twenty-four hours, but with Christmas officially over, I didn’t know how to feel other than exhausted.

  All I could think about were Jack and Cal. Their gifts were beyond thoughtful and spoke to the kind of love we have.

  Had.

  The word stuck to my skull like hot glue and I hated it.

  Deep breath.

  The water sloshed and I looked around the nice bathroom. The stone shower cave thing was in the corner and the bathtub had its own nook in the opposite corner. The steam wafted around me as I tried to think through everything. But my brain just flipped me the giant middle finger, because all I thought about was the taste of Cal’s skin and the feel of Jack’s hands.

  I reclined further and closed my eyes…

  “Enjoying yourself?” Jack asked, and I jumped with alarm. He was sitting on the edge of the tub, his hair slightly ruffled, like he’d be running his hands through it, and his white button-up shirt was rolled at the sleeves.

  “I was until you scared me to death.”

  His eyes jumped from my face to my breasts, which were bobbing at the top of the water. Not that the clear water concealed much anyway. I tried to slink a little lower in the tub.

  “That won’t help you. I can see everything. And your rules said nothing about looking.”

  “Is there something you want?”

  “Yes,” he said instantly, and I cursed myself. I had to stop asking that, because the way he looked at me made me want to beg him to take it. And I would give him whatever he wanted.

  His hot stare roamed over me again, and it was useless trying to hide from him. Especially because I wanted him to jump into the water with me.

  “I remember the last time I was in the bath with you,” he said softly. His eyes closed for a moment like he wa
s in pain. “Feeling you for the first time.”

  “Jack,” I whispered his name, in a plea to stop, to continue, I didn’t know. But the memory burned my mind and yes…it was painful. In a way only beautiful memories could be.

  “That was the night you told me you loved me.” For a brief second, a thick blanket of hope passed between us. He glanced away and flexed his hand once before returning with a steel expression. “But I didn’t come to reminisce.” His words snapped me back to reality. Only Jack could play indifferences like it was little more than flicking a light switch. “I need to speak with you about something important, something that will make you happy.”

  “Okay,” I said with weariness.

  “But first, I want something.”

  “Of course you do.”

  “Lift your no touching rule.”

  “Can’t,” I said quickly, because if I hesitated too long, I’d say okay. Then I’d likely do a repeat of the last time I was in the bath with him and there’d be no turning back.

  “A compromise then. Let me touch you from the knee down.”

  I frowned. The knee down? Surely there was nothing sexual about that.

  “Alright,” I agreed, and just as I got the word out, he sank his hand in the water, gripped my ankle and drug it up to rest on his thigh. I adjusted my shoulders, still reclining in the tub, just as he pressed his thumbs into the arch of my foot.

  I moaned and relaxed completely.

  “See, baby? Letting me touch you isn’t so bad,” he purred like a big cat before consuming its prey. He was rubbing my foot, relaxing me to a point of total bliss. The kill shot must be coming. Because Jack never played fair.

  “You wanted to talk to me,” I pushed, trying to keep my wits. When he pressed his fingers into my instep, I arched, my breasts coming out of the water. I couldn’t help it, though, it felt amazing. Besides, my leg was on his and he could see a lot more with my legs spread than my breasts.

  “My guy found the bank that key belongs to.”

  “What?” I said. “Really!”

  He nodded, a happy expression lacing his face.

  “Wait, you have a guy?”

  “Yes.” He rubbed my foot some more and I was back to a puddle. “The bank is in Highlands Ranch. It’s older and not in high demand, but it will be open the day after New Year’s.”

  “That’s perfect. We can go first thing in the morning before Anita meets with the company sellers.” Because whatever, if anything, was in that lockbox, it would be wise to know about it before she touched my father’s company.

  He nodded.

  The finish line is in sight. Whatever was going on, it was all tied together. That I believed, and so did Jack and Cal. Soon. This would all be over soon.

  “Thank you,” I said with everything in me, because I was truly grateful. For so much.

  He just glanced away and rubbed my foot. When his eyes hit me again, I saw the determined face of lust. He was so good at changing gears, the simplest touch or look could set my blood on fire. I knew by the expression on his face that warm and fuzzy time was over.

  “I’ll ask you one more time to lift your no touching rule,” he said. Dominance dripped from his voice, and I knew the instinct he was trying to fight. His hands gripped my foot in a way that made me think he was putting in effort to not touch me further. I knew Jack. Knew his palms were itching for more than one thing. And my skin was begging to have it.

  But I had to stay strong. Think of Jack. Think of Cal. Think of their friendship. Messing up anything between them was not my goal. I would have to leave at some point, and while New Year’s was right around the corner, I just had to make it with the slivers of my heart intact until then.

  I shook my head, because I couldn’t tell him no out loud. Something he picked up on, because that dark look went even darker.

  “Fine. If you won’t allow me further access to you, then you’ll touch yourself,” he said with all the authority in the world.

  He looked between my legs and I went to move, but he held my foot tight, forcing me to stay right where I was.

  “If you can tell me honestly that you don’t want to come for me, I’ll let you go and leave you to bathe alone.”

  He waited. If he was sticking to my rules of no touching, I had to stick to his of being honest. I couldn’t deny it. I wanted to come. So much my body ached from the need.

  When silence passed between us, Jack took in my whole body once more, then said, “Take your hand, and put it between your legs.”

  I was helpless to deny him. When he commanded, my brain registered and obeyed. I kept my eyes on his and did as he said.

  He pushed his thumbs into my heel and I arched again.

  “Good. Now rub your clit until you shake, then sink those pretty fingers into your pussy. Show me how much you wish it was me touching you.”

  I rubbed a slow circle with my fingertip around the sensitive bundle of nerves. I was so needy from our encounters and all the tension that had been building over the past few days, hell, longer than that. Since I’d met both of them, the tension was always building.

  He watched my ministrations and arched a brow. “You think I’d be gentle?”

  My touch was timid. Slow. Two things Jack wasn’t. He looked me in the eye, waiting for me to answer his question. A challenge. I knew as well as he that he wouldn’t be gentle. He’d flick hard at my clit, then thrust two fingers into me, pumping in and out, deep and hard.

  Just thinking about it made me pick up my pace. Just as my body picked up heat and I was on the brink of trembling, Cal walked in.

  I removed my hand instantly, stopping in shock, and looked up at him. He just sank to his knees beside the tub, his forearms hanging over the edge to tap the water.

  “Don’t you dare stop,” Jack rasped, completely ignoring Cal. But I couldn’t ignore him, couldn’t ignore the fact that I was giving myself an orgasm at Jack’s command while Cal watched.

  “Don’t stop on my behalf, Kitten,” Cal said with a look so fierce I couldn’t do anything but lock my eyes on him and continue to rub.

  “Inside,” Cal said. “Bury that finger and think of me.”

  With a deep breath, I did. Sinking as far as I could go, my sheath gripped my finger and I arched into my own touch. The water sloshed around me, my nipples beaded with the cool air hitting them. They were standing up, begging for attention.

  “Another finger,” Jack said.

  I withdrew completely, then returned with two. Slowly sinking back in. Then drug them out and sank again. Hitting deep. As deep as possible. A moan escaped my lips.

  “You must be thinking of Cal,” Jack growled, gauging the pace of my hand, he’d be right. “Now think of me.”

  I began thrusting faster. In and out until the water was swaying rapidly and my inner walls tensed as my hard, deep plunges increased to a rough pace. Jack. This was thinking of Jack. Rough and hard and fast. Then I’d slow for a moment. Keeping my fingers buried as deep as they could go, I pumped several times, not taking them from my body. Cal. Deep and consuming and close.

  “Please,” Cal whispered, as he leaned over the tub. “Your pretty nipples are begging to be sucked. Let me.”

  I moaned. I wanted that so much. The way his mouth felt on my skin haunted my dreams.

  “Just…this…once…” I tried to stay in control, but that’s all I could get out because I wanted that too. He didn’t wait for more of an invitation. Instead, he snagged my pouting nipple between his lips and sucked hard.

  “Oh, God, yes!” I arched further, silently begging him to take more. With Cal’s mouth on my breasts, I pumped fast and hard. I looked at Jack and his dark eyes were fixed on mine. He held my ankle tight, keeping me spread wide.

  “Tell me,” Jack said. “Tell me that you’re going to come for me.”

  I nodded just as Cal bit the tip of my breast.

  “Yes,” I choked out, just as my orgasm took me over. I shuddered and spasmed so hard the wa
ter swished violently as my sheath clamped down on my fingers, shuddering and milking out my release over and over.

  Jack growled in pleasure and Cal released my breast. They both stood. There, hovering over me as I breathed hard from the wicked pleasure.

  “Jesus Christ. I’m going to need a fucking cold shower,” Cal said, and turned to leave.

  “I need a drink,” Jack said, and was right behind him.

  “Wait, you’re leaving?” I called. They both paused and turned to look at me. What had happened? They were both there, had been a part of…whatever that was. And now were just walking out?

  Cal’s shoulders were tight and Jack was staring daggers at me. They looked uneasy. Like they didn’t know how to process the moment we’d just shared, which was terrifying because I didn’t know how to process it either. When it came to them, I responded. Now I was staring down a set of muscles and intensity and had no clue what to say.

  “Good night, Lana,” Jack said and left the room.

  Cal scrubbed a hand down his face and looked at me once more. He almost said something, then stalled.

  “See you in the morning,” he finally decided to say. And sooner than they came, they went. I sat there, unable to call either one of them back.

  Chapter 18

  “Hey, I’ve missed you!” Harper’s voice boomed through my phone. I sat on my bed and sighed at the instant happiness that flooded through me at hearing her voice.

  “I’ve missed you too. How’s your honeymoon?”

  “Just got back. I’m telling you, the only way to spend Christmas is in Hawaii.”

  I smiled. That did sound nice. It was two days past Christmas now, and while she was back in the state, she was still further away than I needed for a hug.

  “Tell me all about it,” I asked.

  “Well, hold on,” she said. “I want to know what’s going on with you. Rhett has gotten updates from the guys at the station. Apparently, Cal took time off, and no one has heard from him much.”

  “Yeah…um…” I glanced at my shut door. I’d spent the last day mostly locked in my room, trying to figure out how to act around the guys. I was also nervous and didn’t trust myself entirely. “He’s staying with me out in the middle of nowhere.”