I'll Be Home for Christmas

by Dawn Stewardson

  “So,” she forced herself to go on, “what we’re trying to do— Nancy, I have to ask you about something you’re going to think is crazy, but...”

  “But—?”

  “But somebody who knows me helped Bob take Robbie, and—”

  “Somebody helped him? Oh, Ali, who?”

  “That’s what we’re trying to figure out. It had to be one of the people who knew Robbie and I were going to that party, because somebody told Bob we’d be there.”

  “Ahh,” Nancy said. “There couldn’t have been many of us who knew.”

  It was a simple statement of fact that didn’t sound even slightly defensive, and Ali realized Nancy had just slipped into her social worker mode. So much for Logan’s reading anything from her reactions. Nancy’s face had become a mask of calm, revealing nothing. She sat back in her chair and quietly waited for someone else to fill the silence. One of the “helping profession” tricks she’d totally perfected.

  “You’re right.” Ali continued even though it seemed entirely futile. “Only a few people knew Robbie would be at the party. So we’ve been talking to them and...and I’ve been wondering about something Kent did there.”

  “Kent?” Nancy said, a flicker of surprise crossing her face.

  Ali nodded, suddenly hopeful they hadn’t reached entirely futile after all. Asking about Kent, instead of a question Nancy would logically have expected, seemed to have thrown her a little.

  “Nancy,” she pressed on quickly, “when Robbie disappeared, I mean the exact minute he disappeared, Kent was talking to me.”

  “Well, we were all sitting together.”

  “Not right then. Robbie was with Logan...with Logan playing Santa, that is. And I was on my way over to get him when he finished. But before I got there, Kent stopped me.”

  “I don’t remember that.”

  “No, you’d gone someplace. Kent said you’d gone to your office for something.”

  Nancy eyed her for a moment, then slowly said, “And you want to know if I really had? If that’s actually where I was? Ali, you don’t really think I might have helped Bob, do you?”

  “No, I...Nancy, no. I’m sorry about how awful this seems, but I’m so upset, and I don’t know who I can believe.”

  “I know,” Nancy said quietly, leaning forward. “It’s all right. You’re under an incredible amount of stress, and you want to do everything you can to get Robbie back. But let’s think about this rationally for a minute. I’m one of your best friends. And Kent is...he’s one of the most honest people I’ve ever met.”

  “Nancy, the point is—” Logan began.

  “No.” She waved at him to be quiet, then focused on Ali again. “Ali, with all the psychology you’ve taken, you’ve got to know a situation like this can make people totally paranoid. They start thinking crazy thoughts and jumping to wrong conclusions—it makes them grasp at any straw blowing in the wind.

  “So, look, Ali, I don’t know who else could have told Bob you’d be at the party, but are you even sure that anybody did? I mean, did Bob tell you somebody did, or are you just guessing?”

  “Well, no, he didn’t tell me but—”

  “Then couldn’t he have just been following you around or something? Waiting for an opportunity to take Robbie?”

  Cold, clammy fingertips began inching their way up Ali’s spine. She could recall Logan saying practically the same thing on Sunday night.

  “I just assumed,” he’d said, “Bob had been watching the house and followed you to the clinic. But that snatch was so damned smooth maybe he couldn’t have set it up on the spur of the moment.”

  Maybe he couldn’t have. But he certainly could have if he’d been acting alone, if he hadn’t had to set things up beforehand, with somebody else. If, despite what he’d told her, it had been him who’d taken Robbie—not some stranger he’d hired.

  They only had Bob’s word that he didn’t want Robbie to know he was alive, that he wasn’t going to let Robbie see him. And Bob’s word wasn’t worth two cents.

  So maybe she and Logan had been wasting their time for the past two days. Maybe nobody but Bob knew anything about where Robbie was. Nobody but Bob and the mean woman.

  Logan reached for Ali’s hand. Her face had grown pale and she seemed to have suddenly run out of steam, so he decided he’d better try to pick up the conversation—although he doubted it was going to get them anywhere. Either Nancy was as innocent as she seemed, or she was far too cool a customer to let them rattle her. But if there was anything they could find out from her, the only way to do it was to get her talking.

  “We weren’t really thinking you or Kent had anything to do with what happened,” he ventured. “But what Ali started to tell you was that Kent asked her about something that—well, the conversation’s been bothering her.”

  “Oh?” Nancy met his gaze and held it.

  “Yes,” Ali said.

  Logan glanced at her again and squeezed her hand. She looked as if she’d managed to pull herself together a bit.

  “Nancy,” she continued, “Kent wanted to know if I thought you were involved with someone else.”

  “Good grief,” Nancy murmured. “You mean he actually asked you?”

  “Uh-huh. He said you’d told him he should. But both the question and his timing seemed...peculiar.”

  “Good grief,” Nancy said again. “I guess it would seem peculiar. But I did tell him to ask you. While you were in line with the boys, he made some dumb remark about the other man in my life. And I thought he was being such an idiot that I told him to ask you for the truth—since he obviously didn’t believe me. But I didn’t think he really would. He must have been more worried about it than I realized.”

  “So there’s no one?”

  “No, of course not. I’m crazy about Kent. You know that.”

  “But he said you’d been getting phone calls from some man.”

  “Well...yes, that’s what got him going. Because I wouldn’t tell him who it was. But the man is a caterer. Kent’s thirtieth birthday is next month and I’m planning a surprise party. In fact, I intended to invite you when I saw you on Sunday—as soon as I had a chance when he wasn’t around.

  “You’re still not sure you can believe me, are you?” she added after a moment.

  When Ali hesitated, Nancy pushed herself out of her chair and headed over to her desk. “How about if I show you the caterer’s contract? And the guest list?”

  * * *

  “I‘LL BE UP IN A MINUTE or so,” Logan said. “I’m just going to double-check the locks.”

  Ali merely nodded, then started for the stairs.

  Logan anxiously followed her with his eyes. Tonight, he hadn’t even bothered asking whether she wanted him to stay. She was so emotionally fragile he’d never have left her on her own. Once he heard her reach the second floor, he headed to the door and took a long look out at the street.

  There was no black Caddy parked within sight of the house, but he hadn’t really expected it would be. After last night, Nick Sinclair would know it was pointless to stake out Ali’s house any longer. Bob Weyden wouldn’t even think about coming around again. Of course, that was assuming Sinclair and his buddy hadn’t managed to catch up with him. If they had, Bob probably wouldn’t be thinking about anything.

  Still staring into the darkness, Logan began wondering again how that crazy reverse chase scene had ended...and wondering again what would happen to Robbie if Sinclair did catch up with Bob before he sent the boy home...if Bob had ever intended to send Robbie home, that was.

  What, exactly, had Wes Penna said?

  It didn’t take much effort to recall. “He doesn’t exactly sound like father of the year. I sure wouldn’t count on him worrying about what happens to anyone but himself.”

  And having Sinclair hot on his tail was going to make Bob even more desperate just to get that money and run. So what would end up happening to Robbie? Wearily, Logan turned and started for the stairs, thinking ther
e were too many unknowns and too few knowns. Hell, there were almost no knowns at all.

  After two full days of trying to find a decent clue, they hadn’t come up with anything except that woman’s voice—which had done absolutely nothing for them. And he knew Ali was even closer to the breaking point than she’d been before. She hadn’t said a word during the drive back from Nancy’s. Not a single word. And neither had he. What was there to say when he was straight out of ideas?

  He reached the top of the stairs and headed along toward the front of the house, pausing when he reached Ali’s bedroom. Her door was open, the bedside light was on, and she was sitting up in bed, just staring at the phone on the night table. She was wearing a silky white nightshirt, and her face was almost as pale as the fabric. She looked so vulnerable he wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go.

  Instead, he just stood in the doorway, waiting for her to notice him. When she finally glanced over, her eyes were a darker brown than normal—shining with tears.

  “How you doing?” he asked, even though it was a dumb question.

  “I’ve been better,” she said softly. “I just can’t stop worrying about Robbie, not for a single minute. Worrying about where he is and how frightened he has to be and what he must have been thinking all day. Logan, he’s got to be thinking I don’t love him enough to come and get him, that...”

  Logan walked slowly over and sat down on the edge of the bed. “No, that’s not it at all. He knows how much you love him, so I’ll bet he was thinking about what you told him this morning. That he’ll be home in just a little while—in time for Christmas.”

  “But will he?” she whispered.

  “Yeah...yeah, he will.”

  “And will he be the same happy little boy after he’s been through this?”

  “Sure he will. He’ll be fine.” He just had to be, Logan added silently, moving closer and putting his arms around Ali. After the past few days, she didn’t deserve anything less than a perfectly happy ending.

  She leaned against him, all softness and warmth. She smelled so sweet that he thought of chocolate chip cookies and forbidden desire again. The crazy combination that drove him crazy with wanting her. Her breath, warm against his neck, fanned his longing and made him want to kiss her so badly the urge was almost overwhelming. But how could he want her so incredibly much when he knew the timing was impossible?

  “You know,” she murmured, “it’s ironic, but we were talking about depression in one of my classes not long ago. And when the instructor was trying to explain how clinically depressed people feel, she said they sometimes talk about the black dogs.”

  Silently, Logan stroked her hair. Depression didn’t strike him as the greatest topic for discussion at the moment, but if she felt like talking he wasn’t going to interrupt her.

  “I didn’t really understand what that meant then,” she went on, “but now I do. I feel as if there are black dogs and black panthers and black crocodiles, all coming after me at once. And, Logan, if Robbie doesn’t make it through this all right, I’m going to die.”

  “I know.” He continued just to stroke her hair, forcing himself to keep his other hand motionless on her back. “But Robbie’s going to be fine. He’ll phone in the morning and he’ll be home in no time. Then we’ll have him and Cody racing around here again, yelling at the top of their lungs.”

  “And asking for cookies.”

  “Yeah...asking for cookies.” Chocolate chip cookies. God, if he was going to get out of Ali’s room he had to do it now, while he still thought he might be able to manage it.

  “Logan?” she whispered.

  “Uh-huh?”

  “Would you do something for me?”

  “Sure. What?”

  “Would you stay here with me for a while? Just...just be with me, I mean? I don’t think I can stand to be alone right now.”

  “Sure...sure I know. Why don’t we turn out the light, and I’ll just sit here with you.”

  When she gave him a wan smile, he switched off the bedside lamp, then closed his eyes and began trying to will away his aching desire.

  * * *

  FOR A MOMENT, Ali clung to the edge of sleep. Then the phone rang a second time and awareness flooded her. On the bedside table, the clock clicked to 2:13. Beside her in the darkness, Logan groggily muttered something. She grabbed for the phone, but she couldn’t reach far enough because Logan was lying on top of the quilt, weighing it down.

  When she pushed at him, her hands pressed against the soft wool of his sweater. He was still fully dressed, she realized. He’d just dozed off on the bed.

  “Mmmrrrppphhh,” he groaned, rolling away a little.

  She tried for the phone again, reaching it this time. “Hello,” she said breathlessly, getting the receiver to her ear.

  “It’s me,” Bob said.

  Her heart stopped.

  “Are you there?”

  “Yes! Yes, what is it?”

  “What?” Logan demanded beside her.

  She pressed her fingers against his lips. It made her aware her hand was trembling.

  “Bob, is Robbie all right?”

  “It’s Bob?” Logan whispered, despite her fingers.

  “Robbie’s fine,” Bob said. “But I want to talk to you about him.”

  “All right, I’m listening.”

  Logan switched on the bedside light and shoved himself up into a sitting position.

  “I’ve been thinking this isn’t too good for him,” Bob went on. “Being away from home, I mean.”

  Ali closed her eyes. He was only realizing that now?

  “Just a second,” he said. “I’m on a car phone and I’m coming to an underpass. I’ll probably lose you for a minute.”

  Barely breathing, she sat listening to the static grow and fade again.

  “So I was thinking,” Bob finally continued, “about what you said before.”

  “About what that I said?” She waited for him to continue, her heart pounding like crazy now.

  “You know. You said you’d give me your word I’d get the money—even if I let Robbie come home before Friday.”

  Her heart stopped again. “You’re saying you’ll do that?” she whispered.

  “I’m saying I’ve been thinking about it. You did arrange to have the money transferred?”

  “Yes! Yes, of course! I did it right after you gave me the instructions. It’ll be in Switzerland on Friday, be in your account for sure.”

  “And you wouldn’t change the instructions...if I let Robbie go in the morning, I mean.”

  “No! Oh, Lord, Bob, I swear I wouldn’t. I’ll swear on anything you want—on Robbie’s life.” She waited, not breathing again, as if that could magically prevent him from saying the wrong thing.

  “All right,” he said at last. “Then we’ve got a deal. I’ll set things up. Bye, Ali.”

  When he clicked off she simply sat holding the receiver.

  “Ali?” Logan said. “Ali, you’re shaking. What did he say?”

  She shook her head, too filled with emotion to speak. She’d never felt this way before, but what a heavenly way to feel—as if the proverbial ten-ton weight had just been lifted off her shoulders. Fireworks were exploding all around her and the black dogs of depression were racing away into the night.

  “Ali, for God’s sake, what?”

  Tears began streaming down her face and Logan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. “Oh, God, Ali, what’s happening now?”

  “No, no,” she managed to say, “you don’t understand. He’s going to let Robbie come home.”

  “Oh, God,” Logan said again, this time in relief. He’d been thinking the worst.

  “When?” he asked, taking her by the arms and gazing at her.

  “He said in the morning. Just as soon as he sets it up, I guess. Oh, Logan, you’ve been right all along. Everything’s going to be fine.” Ali threw her arms around his neck and clung to him.

  With her body p
ressed against his, he was excruciatingly aware she had on only that silky nightshirt.

  “I...I don’t know what made him change his mind,” she murmured. “Why he decided to trust me. He said he’d been thinking this wasn’t good for Robbie, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. It doesn’t matter why, though. Oh, Logan, it doesn’t matter why at all, does it?”

  “No,” he whispered into her hair. “No, it doesn’t matter why.”

  He’d bet he knew, though. After his near miss with Nick Sinclair last night, Bob had decided the sooner he got out of Toronto the better. Maybe he’d even decided that sticking around until Friday might prove fatal. But at least the guy had turned out to have some sense of decency. At least he was going to make sure Robbie was safely home before he took off, not leave him with some stranger until Friday.

  “Oh, Logan,” Ali said against his chest. “The past few days have been so awful, but now I feel...”

  She paused, suddenly aware of exactly how she did feel. She felt positively euphoric. And incredibly aroused. The horror of the past few days was almost over. Robbie would be home in the morning, and that was only a few hours away. She’d been so, so afraid, but one phone call was all it had taken to dissipate her fear.

  That had allowed room for other emotions to surface, and now that they had...well, Logan Reed was definitely a man she felt other emotions for. There was no point in going back to her silly game of denying it. The way she felt about him...

  It was impossible to put into words, but if he hadn’t been here for her, she wouldn’t have made it through this. It was as simple as that. The black dogs would have dragged her down and the black crocodiles would have swallowed her up. She shifted a little in his arms, so she could see his face. Just looking at it made her smile.

  “What?” he asked, giving her an uncertain smile in return.

  He had an absolutely gorgeous face—all those chiseled planes and angles. And she loved the blue of his eyes. They were such a deep ocean blue she could almost drown in his gaze. And, right now, he had the most enticing four o’clock shadow she’d ever seen.