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NEARLY DEAD: the prequel to The Child Taker (Detective Alec Ramsay Series Book 0)

Page 24

by Conrad Jones


  [EM17]##delete – repeated in the next sentence so not needed here.

  [EM18]#revise – they’re? Sounds a little more natural

  [EM19]#revise – they’re? Sounds a little more natural

  [EM20]#revise – you’ve?

  [EM21]#continuity – Peter went in saying that AJ owed him, would getting rid of the packets and Peter turning a blind eye to AJ’s deals make them even?

  [EM22]#continuity – according to chapter 17 it is now forty-eight hours after the night Brian was arrested – would they have kept him in without questioning him further for all this time?

  [EM23]#revise – talking?

  [EM24]#revise – dashboard screen?

  [EM25]#delete? repetitive

  [EM26]#revise – away? Remove repetitive ‘the city’

  [EM27]#revise – it’s?

  [EM28]#revised – one word - no hyphen

  [EM29]#revise – bodies? Or men and women?

  [EM30]#clarify – how does he know that Thomas isn’t the right name at this stage? Consider deleting/revising this

  [EM31]#revise – he would have had time?

  [EM32]#revise – tooth?

 

 

 


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