Almost Heaven

by Jillian Hart

  By the look of hope on Cameron’s face, lined by sun and hardship, she knew he would find happy hours ahead and the companionship he’d been needing.

  He refolded the brochure and stuck it in his back jeans pocket. “I’m real sure about this. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought for some time.”

  “Good. When do you want to get started?”

  “I’ve got time now.” All of it lonely, so much of it that it hurt to think about too much. He pulled a quarter-folded section of newspaper from his back pocket and studied it. “I’ve circled a few ads that look good. What do you think?”

  She bent close, taking the page he offered. The newsprint rattled as she studied it. Cameron dared to edge close enough to peer over her shoulder. He’d never stood so close to her before, and it was like being touched by spring. She smelled sweet like flowers.

  She’d sure make a nice wife. Where did that thought come from? The realization filled him, steady like winter rain, when he ought to be paying attention to what she was saying. Her mouth was moving, he could hear the gentle alto of her words, but he couldn’t focus.

  His pulse drummed in his ears and seconds stretched long, the way they did when he was on the job, his Smith & Wesson drawn, adrenaline pumping and senses heightened.

  There might not be a perp pulling a gun on him, but as he felt the silken graze of Kendra’s hair against his jaw, he knew this moment was as pivotal.

  Kendra must have realized stray strands of her hair had escaped her ponytail. Her hand brushed those wisps into place behind her dainty ear, where a small diamond winked on her earlobe.

  She liked jewelry, he realized, something he’d never noticed before. The necklace, the tasteful set of pierced earrings and a small ruby ring on her right hand.

  “I know this person, and no, this isn’t a good deal. Basically, she’s wanting what a luxury sedan would bring in when what she really has is a base-model economy car.”

  “I like a woman who uses terms I can understand.”

  He was rewarded with her gentle smile. “This one’s a student of mine. Her mare is a nice midsize car at a reasonable market price. She’s one aisle over, if you want to go take a look at her.”

  “I’m here. Might as well.” He tried to sound casual, as if it was no big deal.

  No, this was huge. It had been tough coming to the place in his life where he’d finished grieving, hard to let go and accept that he still had a life. And that Deb, the angel she surely was, would want him to live and not just put one foot in front of the other, sleepwalking through life.

  Life was a finite gift. He’d learned how important it was to spend this time on earth wisely, with love and purpose. That was why he was here now, following Kendra through the stable and into the bright light of day.

  This was one thing of about a million that she loved about her work. Helping bring a deserving horse and rider together. And in Cameron’s case, it felt like a personal mission as she arrowed through the sunny grounds, waving to kids on their horses calling out her name.

  “Are those kids you found horses for?”

  “No, kids I taught to ride.”

  “Cool.” His boots crunched in the gravel next to her. “Do you teach all the riding classes?”

  “About half of them.”

  No matter how fast she walked, he stayed right there at her side. This was business, and showing Cameron around was no different than the hundreds of other times she’d done this with other potential boarders.

  Why was she more aware of the sound of his gait, confident and strong and slightly uneven? Had he been wounded in the line of duty? He might be casually dressed in a T-shirt and jeans instead of his navy-blue uniform, but there was no way on this earth she could forget he was a sheriff.

  She turned cold inside and refused to let the next thoughts come. Or the memories of a time she needed to forget and never think of again.

  Could a person bury memories forever? She was going to give it her best shot. What mattered was this life she’d built, the kids practicing their riding skills in the different arenas or paddocks. The giggling girls in groups of two or three that rode off on the manicured trails.

  This was her life. Think about that, Kendra.

  “This is the riding arena.” The covered, open-air area was fenced with riser seating on the far side. “We do our Western training and competitions here.”

  “I see the barrels.” He squinted, gesturing to where a white mare dug into a tight corner around the final barrel, kicking up dust on her ride home. “Is that the horse?”

  “That’s her. She’s a pleasure to ride.”

  “She looks too fancy for me.”

  “She’s well priced, but she’s trained for competition.” How could she be so dense? “I never asked what type of riding you wanted to do.”

  “The sheriff over at Moose Creek is a good friend of mine. He’s a horseman and takes his mount out in the mountains to hunt and fish. Says there’s nothing like riding trails to get away from it all.”

  “He’s right. That’s what you’d like? A horse to trail ride with?”

  “I used to head out into the mountains all the time. Hiking, skiing, fishing, hunting, camping. Then Deb got sick and everything changed.”

  Life could be so unfair sometimes. Kendra didn’t have to ask if he’d had a happy marriage. It was in his voice, on his face, in his stance.

  “Hey, Kendra.” Susan, the rider on the white mare, headed over. “I noticed you two checking out my horse. Are you thinking about buying?”

  “He’s just starting to look.” Kendra leaned her forearms on the top rail of the board fence, glad to see one of her oldest friends. “You know Cameron, right?”

  “Sure.” Susan gave Cameron her best smile. “Not here to give any of us a ticket, are you, Sheriff?”

  “Nope. Off duty today.” He offered his hand to the horse and let the mare scent his palm.

  There was something about the man’s hands. Something rare and striking. They were strong and square with broad palms and long, thick-knuckled fingers. His skin was bronzed by a summer spent out of doors and dusted with a trace of dark hair. Hands that looked brawny enough to break bones.

  His tenderness was unexpected as he stroked the mare’s velvety nose. The mare responded with a friendly nicker deep in her throat. Kendra watched, astonished, as before her eyes Cameron’s tough-guy shield fell away, the only face of this man she’d ever seen.

  Standing before her, graced by the vivid sun, the real Cameron Durango was revealed. His integrity of steel. His caring nature. His excruciating loneliness.

  As the lucky mare nickered again, nudging his hand for more attention, Kendra realized she wasn’t afraid around him, not any longer.

  She felt safe with him, because look at him. He was a truly good man. Hard lines cut into the corners of his eyes and around his mouth. Put there by hardship and worry and sadness. By grief she couldn’t begin to compare hers with.

  How could she not like him? He was lonely, and she knew something about that. She’d do her very best to find him the right horse. The friend he was looking to make.

  He looked over his glasses at the woman in the saddle. “Why are you selling her?”

  “Financial problems.”

  What was her name? Susan? She’d been a few years behind him in school—and sure looked sad about having to sell her horse.

  He supposed it was easy to become attached. It was just as well he didn’t want such a…a woman’s horse. “She’s way too fancy for the likes of me.”

  Susan looked relieved. “Kendra, I’ll stable her myself.”

  “No problem.” Kendra shrugged, waving off some unspoken concern with one slim hand.

  She obviously ran a healthy business here. The girls clinging to the backs of their big horses ringed the arena, taking turns at the barrels or, in the corner, waiting for the comments of a woman instructor.

  It was clear that Kendra was a good businesswoman, but she wasn�
�t ruthless. He hadn’t thought she was, or he wouldn’t be standing here, but it was reassuring to see.

  “If you want to wait a few minutes until Colleen is done with her class…” Kendra said without looking at him, taking great interest in how the class across the way was going. “It’s too bad I have a class in a few minutes, or I’d personally stay to show you some of our trails.”

  What? “You’re sending me out in the mountains with a stranger?”

  “Don’t worry, Colleen has all her shots.”

  He liked a woman with a sense of humor. “I’m glad to know that, but my big worry is you. You don’t invite greenhorns like me out here, do you, and play practical jokes on them?”

  “It’s tempting, but I won’t put you on the back of a wild horse and abandon you.”

  “Whew. I was worried.”

  “You look it. You have a suspicious nature, Sheriff.”

  “Just because I’m suspicious doesn’t mean they aren’t after me.”

  “That’s paranoid, not suspicious.”

  “I knew that didn’t sound right. Say, how long are your classes? I don’t mind hanging around until you’re done. I’ve got nothing else to do.”

  Kendra waved at the instructor from the class in the far corner that was disbanding.

  Maybe he ought to be insulted Kendra was trying hard to get rid of him. She was probably busy, and he had taken up a chunk of her time. Why did he feel disappointed at the idea of her leaving him?

  At first he barely noticed the brunette approaching on horseback. She drew her horse to a stop, studied them both and couldn’t hide the big grin on her face. “Whew, what brings you out here, Sheriff? It’s nothing serious, right?”

  Kendra spoke up. “Cameron here is thinking about buying a horse and boarding here.”

  “Well, don’t let me get in the way of business.” The instructor tossed Kendra a secret look. “I don’t mind taking the last class of the day for you. I could use the extra hours if you want to take the sheriff into the hills.”

  As if mulling it over, Kendra blew out a breath, ruffling her wispy bangs. “Fine by me. That is, if the sheriff can stand more of my company.”

  “I’ve suffered through worse.”

  “Me, too.” Trouble twinkled in her eyes. “That only leaves one question, cowboy. Are you ready to ride?”

  “Sure thing. I’m up for the challenge.”

  Her smile was like heavenly light, warming him to the soul, as she spun away on the heel of her scuffed riding boots, calling out to someone just out of sight in the stable. Why did it feel as if she were taking his heart with her?

  Chapter Five

  Kendra gave the cinch a hard tug and tightened the buckle a notch. She always did her best not to be alone with any of the men who’d come her way, in a business sense. She’d gotten very practiced at it, but apparently not practiced enough because she was alone with Cameron.

  Well, not alone, exactly, considering there were about fifty people around within calling distance. But soon they would be.

  This is business, she reminded herself firmly. She was safe with Cameron. Not only that, but it felt like divine intervention, somehow. As if she was the one who could best help him find the right horse and a new, rewarding hobby to fill his time.

  The horses in her life had certainly made hers fulfilling.

  The old gelding she was saddling waited patiently as she gave the cinch a final tug. One of the first horses she’d gotten for her ranch and her best beginner-class horse.

  “You’re a good gentleman, Palouse.” Kendra patted the gray roan, his dappled coat and his white mane a throwback to his wild mustang heritage, and let him nuzzle her gloved hand affectionately. She slipped him a peppermint.

  “I see you’re a tough master.” Cameron ambled close, planted his fists. “Do the animal-control people know about you?”

  “They sure do. I’m on the top of their list to bring recovered horses to.”

  “Suppose I should have guessed that before I tried to tease. Horses must be abused, like any animal can be.”

  Or person, Kendra didn’t add. “It certainly isn’t the animal’s fault. Horses need to trust their owners one hundred percent. They want to trust. They are loving creatures that don’t deserve harsh treatment. I’ve rehabilitated about a dozen horses. Palouse was one of them.”

  “You’d never know it. He’s as calm as could be. You must have done wonders with him.”

  “He’s the wonder. You wait until you get to know more horses, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. They are special blessings, and to share trust and love with them is a privilege.”

  There was no mistaking the big gelding’s trust in her as he watched her with an adoring gaze.

  That said a lot about the woman, in Cam’s opinion. Professionally and personally.

  “I’ve got Palouse saddled. How about you, are you ready to go?” She gathered the long leather straps of the reins.

  As if he knew what to do with those. “Are you sure he’ll go easy on me?”

  “He’s one of the gentlest horses I know. Six-year-olds learn to ride on him.”

  “I’m well past six, so I reckon I can handle him.”

  “That’s the attitude I like to hear. Just put your foot in this stirrup and grab the saddle horn. Give a little hop and lift up into the saddle. Like this.”

  She demonstrated, rising up so she stood straight in the stirrup, her weight balanced on her one foot as if she were born to do it. “Ease your leg over his back, careful not to scrape him with your boot and settle into the seat. Don’t let your weight drop, just lower your fanny into the saddle.”

  “I can do that. I’ve watched enough westerns, I ought to be able to ride by osmosis.”

  “Fine, then mount up, could you?”

  “Sure thing, little lady.”

  Kendra held the stirrup steady when he had trouble catching it with the toe of his boot. Just as she’d do for any new student taking his first ride.

  Why did she feel different? It was as if something was buzzing around her, like the charge in the air before a thunderstorm.

  But the skies were clear to the west and to the south, where summer storms often started.

  It was Cameron. He seemed to take up all the empty space around her, although it made no sense. She could smell the clean woodsy scent of him and hear the creak of leather as he stepped into the stirrup. Muscles corded beneath his sun-bronzed forearms as he rose into the saddle, casting his shadow over her.

  How could she not be aware of him? Of his power? Of his striking male presence? She didn’t want to trust any man again, but that didn’t mean she was immune to a good man’s appeal. It only proved she should have paid Colleen to take Cameron around instead of taking over the class.

  Why hadn’t she? It didn’t make any sense. What was the difference if Colleen was paid for an extra hour on the trail or in the arena? Why hadn’t Kendra thought of that at the time?

  Because there was obviously something wrong with her brain whenever the handsome sheriff was around, that’s why. As if her synapses misfired. How else could she explain it? First, she let him repair her trailer tire—not what she’d let any man other than her brother-in-law do. Now she was riding out with Cameron.

  Hadn’t she learned enough lessons from Jerrod?

  Yes. She might be aware of Cameron but that didn’t mean she was interested in him. It was something that could never be. The barricade around her heart was impenetrable and was going to stay that way.

  She slipped Jingles a peppermint from her jeans pocket and pressed her forehead to the mare’s sun-warmed neck. The comforting scent of horse eased away the worries knotted in Kendra’s stomach.

  Tension eased from the back of her neck as Jingles cuddled back, leaning against Kendra’s body in unspoken affection. As if the mare was telling her, You’re not alone. I’m here. You can count on me.

  “And you can count on me, friend,” Kendra whispered, tracing her
hand through the mare’s platinum mane. “Let’s go for a ride.”

  Jingles stomped impatiently, and Kendra didn’t look at the man watching her as she hiked up into the saddle and reined the mare around. Why did she feel Cameron’s presence as tangibly as the heat of the sun on her face?

  She demonstrated how to hold the reins in one hand, and leaned over to make sure there was enough slack in the straps he held. “Palouse knows to follow me. Just keep the reins at the saddle horn, easy like this. Don’t jerk them and don’t kick him.”

  “So basically I just sit here.”

  “Yep. Palouse knows what he’s doing, so you can just enjoy your first ride. Just trust him and enjoy the view.”

  “I thought horses could be unpredictable.”

  “They can be, but Palouse is eighteen. That’s pretty old for a horse. This graybeard’s seen just about everything, and he knows his job. He takes it seriously. He’ll take good care of you, if you’re kind to him. That’s the way it works best in the horse world.”

  “Know what? The ground does look a long way down from up here.”

  “And it’s hard when you hit.”

  “You’re teasing me, right?”

  “Sure. Yep. Just teasing you.”

  She took off ahead of him, and the big horse lumbered into motion beneath him, scaring him near to death because it just didn’t feel right. He was going to tip out of the saddle. He had some real concerns, the ground did look like it was uncomfortable to land on.

  And was he thinking about falling to his death? No, he was watching Kendra. He was noticing the sparkling warmth within her.

  The horse beneath him picked up speed as they strolled through the stable yard, his gait an unsettling rocking and swaying that was likely to make Cam seasick. Either that, or he was going to lose his balance and fall like a klutz into the gravel.

  He was an athletic man and an outdoorsman, and he liked every outdoor activity he’d ever tried. Except this. This was not like pedaling a bike or zipping down a hillside on a motorcycle. He wasn’t in control, and he didn’t know if he liked it.