by Amy Brent
“We’ve been through a lot,” I said. “Kylie isn’t leaving just because we aren’t engaged yet.”
“It’s not the engagement,” Sawyer said. “It’s the attitude behind it.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“Adam, this past year has been rough for you. We all know it. We all see it. Opening the production company? Taking out all those loans? Your first film falling through?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“And that’s fine, but you’re unleashing this anger somewhere. You’re unleashing this frustration somewhere. And I know it’s not on me. We don’t see each other often enough. But you see Kylie often enough.”
“I’m not unleashing anything on her, so cut it out.”
“And your want to push the subject off to the side tells me otherwise. All I’m saying is Kylie is her own person. If you push her away, it’s her decision whether or not she wants to leave—and there’s no guarantee you’ll get her back,” he said.
“So what do you suggest, oh wise one?” I asked.
“Have a conversation with her,” he said. “That’s all it takes. Ask her what she wants and compare it to what you want. Then talk about it. Figure out a compromise or understand that it will result in the two of you going your separate ways.”
“Sounds like a hoot,” I said flatly.
“It’s the nature of relationships. My wants in life line up with Susan’s. It’s why we work. It’s not just because we get along and not just because the sex is great, but because what we want in life lines up. Had we not wanted the same things, we would’ve never gotten married, never decided to start a family, never done any of that.”
“I love Kylie,” I said.
“But it takes more than love to make things like this work.”
“So what? You’re asking me to end things with her? Just break up with her because what we want right now might not line up right this second?”
“These questions force you to think about your future, to map your life a little bit.”
“And we’re back to the imaginary timetable,” I said.
“Stop throwing that fucking attitude and listen.”
“Shouldn't we be celebrating the impending birth of your child?” I asked.
“Well, if this is supposedly a last hurrah, then I’m getting my licks in while I can,” he said. “I don’t doubt for one second that you love Kylie. I’ve seen you run to her rescue and I’ve watched her drop everything in her life to come after you. The two of you work. That isn’t the question. The question is, does what she wants for her future line up with what you want.”
My mind rushed back to the argument in that restaurant with my father. Just that small little decision about her future didn’t line up with what I saw for us. And right there, without talking to me about any of it in private first, she had accepted my father’s job offer. In the moment, I had thought it was out of spite, to mock me for questioning her at a table with a powerful man like my father. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to understand that maybe she had done it because she really did want the job.
That didn’t mean we still didn’t talk about it first.
“Question,” I said.
“Answer,” Sawyer said.
“You and Susan. You talk about all this communication stuff. If you’re going to make a big decision in your life—like, say, a decision about your career—wouldn’t you talk to Susan about it before making a decision?”
“Of course I would,” he said. “That’s part of being in a relationship.”
“And would she be angry at you if you didn’t?”
“Insanely upset, especially if it uprooted us without her knowledge or something of that sort. Why? Where is all this coming from?”
“Just asking,” I said as another beer was set down in front of me.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one in Kylie’s and my relationship who had a communication problem.
“There something you want to talk about?” Sawyer asked as he picked up his fresh beer. “You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”
“Nope. Nothing that hasn’t already been settled,” I said. “But I do have another toast.”
“Have at it.”
“To blossoming relationships and repairing cracks. May the love we have for our women shine even in the darkest of lights.”
“Here fucking here,” Sawyer said.
As I clinked my beer with Sawyer’s, I thought back to the first time I ever saw Kylie. She had walked into that English room with a confidence and a swagger that had been undeniable. Eighteen and fresh out of high school, she’d had a look in her eyes that had told me she could conquer the world. And I knew I would need a woman like that if I was ever going to have a relationship with someone. I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her. Her long, light brown hair had glistened as she’d walked through the room and taken a seat right at the front. Her hazel eyes held speckles of gold that I lost myself in every time I looked into her eyes. And her legs. Fuck. Long and toned, boasting of the running she did every single morning to start her day.
I had struck up a conversation with her during a first-day group exercise in that class, and I hadn’t left that room until I had made sure she would meet me for coffee that evening.
I still loved her. Buried underneath the anger and frustration of this past year, I still loved her, still cherished her, still needed her in my life. But she wasn’t without her faults, and lately it was as if both of our glaring faults were bubbling to the surface and being looked at underneath a microscope.
One thing was for certain, though. No matter how any of this panned out, and no matter how weird it was for me to have my girlfriend working for my father, I didn’t want to lose her.
We had history, memories. We’d painted the town of Portland with our love on many occasions. I couldn't walk through the damn place without pulling up a memory of her.
We were meant to be together in Portland.
We were meant to be together period.
Kylie
The sun streaming through the windows forced my eyes open before my alarm went off. My first day of work and I was up before my phone rang out. Most people felt nervous on their first days, but not me. I was confident in my skills and knew I could bring a force to be reckoned with to Mr. Tucker’s company. Tucker Computer Entertainment was a Fortune 1,000 company, and to have even the slightest bit of work on my resume from a place like that would solidify my career in the field of CPA work for good. It wasn’t an opportunity I was going to pass up simply because Adam was upset I hadn’t discussed anything with him first.
Like my career was his to control.
And of course he was still upset. I got ready for my first day, hoping to hear my text message notification ring out. We’d barely talked the past few months, but I knew he would message me on my first day. He’d wish me good luck, tell me he was thinking of me—anything that would indicate he’d set aside his blatant anger for a split second and thought about anyone else but himself.
But as I walked into Mr. Tucker’s headquarters for the first time, no message ever came through.
“Miss Baker?”
“Yes?”
I looked over at a cheery woman with a beautiful smile sitting behind the desk in the main lobby.
“You have a note from Mr. Tucker,” she said. “And welcome to Tucker Computer Entertainment.”
She held out a piece of folded paper for me with my name written across the front.
“Thank you very much,” I said. “Your warm welcome is appreciated.”
I walked toward the elevator with my bag slung over my shoulder. I opened the note as I reached out for the button, engaging it so I could get myself to the fifth floor.
But as I read the note, I realized something had changed.
I wasn’t going to the fifth floor at all.
As the elevator carried me all the way up to the twenty-first floor
, I shuffled my feet. My nervous energy was now getting the best of me. Why did Mr. Tucker want to see me in his office? I figured he would meet me at my desk or something for the first day. Or maybe he had someone prepared to start my paid training.
Either way, a ride to the top floor of his headquarters was the last thing I had expected on my first day.
I stepped off the elevator and into the most decadent expanse of space I’d ever seen. The marble floors were sparkling with their waxy coating and the plush carpets in the offices, which lined the hallway, boasted of the exorbitant amount of money that had gone into constructing the place. Cherry mahogany desks sat in every office I peeked into out of curiosity. My heels sounded against the floor as I made my way to his office, my hand clutching the shoulder strap of my bag to keep my nervous confusion at bay.
“Kylie. Come on in.”
His smooth voice echoed out into the hallway as my head whipped up. There he was, sitting at a blond mahogany desk with the morning sun pouring past his body. He stood up and seemed to loom, his gray suit and his cream-colored button-up shirt accented by the rays of sunlight. I continued my journey into his office until my heels fell into the soft carpeting of his floor. I was greeted with a kind smile that made his eyes sparkle the way I was used to seeing them.
Very unlike the last time I had seen him.
“Take a seat,” he said, “and shut the door behind you.”
“Right away, sir,” I said.
“No need for that. We’ve known each other for years now. It’s Mr. Tucker in front of employees and Ryan when it’s the two of us.”
“Okay…Ryan.”
I closed the door and walked to the seat he ushered me into. He leaned against his desk, crossing his ankles together. It accented the length of his legs, and my eyes trailed up his form. I sat down and cleared my throat, trying to pry my gaze away from him before my lingering stare became wildly inappropriate.
“There have been a few changes since we last spoke. I wanted to run them down for you before you got started on your first day.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Just fine. But I don’t have a desk for you on the fifth floor.”
“Well anywhere is fine. I don’t need much space. I could take up for a while in the break room, or in a corner in one of the conference rooms downstairs.”
“Not necessary. I moved your desk up here.”
“Up where?” I asked.
“Here, on my floor.”
My eyes held his as his blue stare fixated on mine.
“Up here,” I said.
“Yes.”
“With you.”
“Is that a problem?”
“I just didn’t expect to be on the penthouse floor of Tucker Computer Entertainment is all.”
“Well you are, first and foremost, a personal CPA. Your work with the company will be side projects compared to what I will have you doing. Keeping you near the finance department makes sense in the short term, but in the long term it’ll make for a lot of elevator rides from your floor to mine. I figured I could save you the time in your day and, in the process, give you a nice view to welcome you every morning.”
I hated that my gut reaction was how Adam would feel about this.
“Kylie.”
“Yes?”
“I know Adam is upset about you working for me, but I am glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad to be here,” I said.
“You’re smart, and I need intelligent people surrounding me and working for me.”
“Thank you for the compliment. Your words are kind, Mr.—”
“Ah, ah, ah.”
“Ryan,” I said with a snicker. “Your words are kind, Ryan. And don’t worry about Adam. It’s caused some problems, but he’ll get over it.”
“And headstrong. A good trait for a personal CPA.”
“This is my career, and he has no say over what I do with it. No one does. I worked hard to get where I am and to obtain the education I did, so if he doesn’t like what I’ve decided to do with it, then he can go stand in a corner.”
A grin slide across his cheeks.
“Not that this topic of conversation is appropriate for a professional environment,” I said.
“You’re dating my son,” Ryan said. “Any time you need to talk about how he’s been treating you, my door is open.”
“Either way, your company is outstanding, and I’m lucky to have the opportunity to work alongside you. Thank you for offering it to me.”
“I offer nothing to no one who doesn’t deserve it.”
My eyes fell down his body again, and for a split second, I felt the nape of my neck heat. His prying gaze, his mischievous grin, the light pouring past his body, illuminating him like some sort of fallen angelic creature.
I had to admit, Ryan was pretty hot for an older guy.
He sure as hell was hotter than any dad I’d ever seen.
Adam was the spitting image of his father. They shared the same analytical blue gaze and the same head of thick hair. Adam had his father’s determined jawline and his high cheekbones. Even their heights were similar, though Adam was just a tad shorter.
I wondered if Adam ranted about me to his father like I had just done.
“If you’re ready to begin your time here, I’ll show you to your office,” Ryan said.
“Of course. Lead the way, si—Ryan.”
“Good,” he said. “Come with me.”
His shoes clicked along the marble floor at the same rhythmic fall as my heels. We came out of his office and turned to our left, and the next door we hit had my name on it. I peeked into the office, which sat against a row of floor-to-ceiling windows, and tried not to gawk at the expansive cherry mahogany desk sitting against the bright backdrop of Portland.
“This is my office?” I asked.
“It is.”
It was right next to his.
I took in my name on the door and my heart leaped to my throat. I was working on the penthouse floor of the largest computer gaming development company in the world—right next to the owner and CEO of the damn thing. I walked into the office and felt the plush carpet give underneath me. I knew I’d be making a habit of curling my toes into it whenever no one was meeting with me. I scanned the room and took in the few pieces of furniture that were in it. A loveseat and a plush chair sat in the far corner with a glass coffee table near them. Bookshelves lined my immediate wall that the door opened and landed on.
But the view.
The backdrop of Portland was breathtaking.
My desk had everything it needed. There was a desk phone, a top-of-the-line computer with fully updated software, a computer tower that sat concealed in a pull-out drawer of the desk, and a wrist-saving keyboard, ergonomically designed for someone who would be typing a great deal. A nameplate sat at the forefront of my desk, and I ran my hand along the edge of it, taking in the sheer beauty of the office I was about to call mine. I took everything in as if I were a child on Christmas morning.
“I’ll be sending a decorator in sometime after lunch,” Ryan said. “She’ll hand you off some catalogs, and you circle what you want. We’ll get it ordered and personalized so the space is to your liking.”
“Decorator?” I asked.
“It helps maximize productivity to be in a space one can personalize any way he or she wishes. Just keep an ambiance of professionalism.”
“I can do that,” I said.
“I’ll let you familiarize yourself with the software, and I’ll be back in an hour to answer any questions you might have.”
“First question,” I said. “Who’s training me?”
“I am.”
I whipped my head to meet his eyes as he stood in the doorway of my office.
“Fair enough,” I said. “I’ll see you in an hour.”
My entire first day was a whirlwind, but the updated software was pretty straight forward. It was very much like the software I had worked with al
l through college, so there weren’t many things I couldn't figure out for myself. And what I didn’t know I found in the “help” section of the software. I organized everything to my liking and set up my schedule, then logged activities that would need to be done every day at a specific time. Then I could start filling it in with things Ryan threw my way.
But every once in a while, I peeked at my phone, just to see if Adam had finally gotten around to wishing me luck on my first day.
He never did.
Adam
I picked up Kylie and the two of us headed out for dinner. I hadn’t seen her in a week and hadn’t talked with her since she had started her job with my dad. I knew it was shitty. I knew I was being distant. But I was still upset with how things had gone down at that dinner a couple months ago. We hadn’t once talked about it. She hadn’t initiated any sort of open dialogue about what had happened, and I didn’t have the time to dance around her with everything going on in my world. But I did want to take her out somewhere to celebrate the fact that she had started a new job.
“So how’s your week been going thus far?” Kylie asked.
“It’s been good. We’re finishing up the first round of edits on the film project. Then we’ll run it through a test audience to get feedback and initial reactions. Then, if we need to, we’ll reshoot some scenes, change plot points, and go through a second round of edits.”
“Will you be ready in time for the submission date for Sundance?” she asked.
“Oh, we’re well ahead of schedule. I’m confident in it.”
“I’ve always loved that about you—your confidence in things.”
I looked up at her, and her sparkling hazel eyes sucked me in. The golden flecks that danced for me underneath the lighting of our table pulled me in, tugged me toward her warmth. I slid my foot next to hers underneath the table and watched that bright smile of hers grow larger with every stroke of my toe against her naked ankle.
It had been so long since I’d felt her underneath my fingertips.
