Tender Love

by Irene Brand

  He grinned at her, and his dimple deepened. “Don’t be sarcastic. At least, I’ll take Eddie off your hands tonight. Where do you want us to sleep?”

  She turned into the bedroom Eddie had vacated on the first night. “Whew!” he said. “This is a big room—no wonder he was afraid.”

  Alice raised the window. “The house isn’t air-conditioned, and with the window open, the kids heard lots of strange insect sounds—that bothered them.”

  “We’ll be comfortable tonight.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it—Eddie kicks like a mule. If you need to hang up your clothes, there are hangers in the closet. Come on down when you’re ready.”

  Mark took her by the arm. She shook her head and moved toward the door. A look of frustration crossed his face, and he jammed his hands in his pockets.

  “Words can’t express how I feel about you, Alice. If I didn’t care for you for yourself, I’d fall in love with you for the change you’ve brought about in my kids. When I consider how they were when you came to us and look at them now, it’s overwhelming.”

  “Everything I do for them, I’m doing for you, Mark.”

  She left the room hurriedly before he could say anything more. They’d both said too much already.

  “‘Old McDonald had a farm, ee-ii-ee-ii-oo, And on this farm he had some ducks, ee-ii-ee-ii-oo. With a quack-quack here, and a quack-quack there…’”

  Jolting along the farm road in a wagon pulled by Landon’s tractor wasn’t conducive to good singing, but the five passengers belted out the words of the old song anyway. Landon had put a few bales of hay in the small wagon, and Margaret, Alice, Mark and the children were wedged in around the bales and two large picnic baskets, surrounded by the smell of recently fried chicken.

  The wagon entered the woods, and climbed steadily along the side of the hill until they reached a wide, level clearing. Large oaks and maples over-hung the roadway, making a canopy for their travel.

  “I’ll spread our blankets under the trees,” Margaret said, “and we’ll eat in about an hour.”

  “Let’s play for a while,” Alice said. “I brought the ball and bat.”

  “What if I get hit in the belly again?” Eddie said, his face whitening.

  Mark tousled his hair. “When you see a ball heading for your tummy, step out of the way.”

  “Are you going to play, Uncle Landon?” Kristin said.

  “Might as well. Margaret won’t give me anything to eat until the game’s over.”

  After an hour of playing, they were ready for the fried chicken, vegetable sticks, baked beans and lemonade. Chocolate cake completed their picnic.

  “Mrs. Wilcox,” Mark said. “Alice must have learned to cook from you. She’s a great cook, but I believe your fried chicken is even better than hers—maybe you’d better give her some more lessons.”

  Alice threw a carrot stick at him, which he caught and put in his mouth. “For that remark, I may let you do your own cooking again.”

  “No, Alice,” Eddie said firmly. “Your food tastes better than Daddy’s.”

  “Well, I know when I’m beaten,” Mark said. “I’ll just have to settle for mediocre chicken.” He stretched. “Hey, kids, let’s take a walk through the woods.”

  “You coming, too, Alice?” Eddie asked.

  “Not this time. I’ll keep Aunt Margaret company, for Uncle Landon will be asleep in a short time.”

  When the Tanners were out of hearing, Margaret said, “What happened to Mark’s wife?”

  Alice leaned against the huge maple that shaded them. “She died about eight months ago, but she’d had cancer for two years before that. Mark has had a rough time, trying to take care of her and the children, especially since Eddie has been sick, too.”

  “I believe the boy’s come out of it,” Landon said.

  “The doctor says his heart is all right now, but he’s still behind physically and emotionally. We’re trying to build him up so he can go to kindergarten this fall.”

  “How long do you intend to stay at the Tanners’?” Margaret said.

  “I don’t know. I went on a month’s trial, and now that I’m committed, I intend to stay as long as they need me.”

  “You’re sacrificing your own life for another’s family. I don’t know why you’re doing it.”

  Alice had expected Aunt Margaret to understand her reasons, but apparently she didn’t.

  “I haven’t had such a great life the past few years. During John’s sickness, I was confined to the house, and for a year, I’ve been at a standstill. It’s a pleasure to see the Tanner children’s improvement, and Gran’s, too, for that matter.”

  “How is Gran related to the Tanners?” Margaret asked.

  “She’s the children’s great-grandmother, and they’re the closest living relatives she has. I wanted her to come with us, but she’s badly handicapped from a stroke, and she decided it was best for her to stay at home.”

  “Don’t get too involved with the Tanners,” Margaret advised. “It could lead to heartache.”

  “Tend to your own business, Margaret,” Landon said. “Can’t you see that Alice is happier than she’s been for years? Let her make her own decisions.”

  Alice threw her uncle a grateful glance, which he didn’t see because he was flat on his back, his straw hat covering his face.

  “By the way, as far as Mark knows, I have to work for a living. Please don’t tell him otherwise.”

  After supper, Landon and Margaret went to the living room to watch their favorite Saturday night television programs. Mark and Alice played badminton with the children until it was almost dark, then Alice got two small jars from the cellar and showed the children how to catch lightning bugs, and put them in the jars to make their own lights. When they tired of this, Alice took the lids off the jars, so the bugs could escape. She sat down in the swing, and Eddie snuggled down beside her, laid his head in her lap, and the gentle swaying of the swing soon put him to sleep.

  Yawning, Kristin stretched out on the porch floor beside the sleeping basset hound and pups. Mark sat in a rocking chair close to Alice, and he drew a deep breath.

  “It’s peaceful here. When I first entered the ministry, I hoped to serve in a country parish.”

  Lord, give me the right words. “It isn’t too late, Mark. It isn’t difficult to find a rural pastorate, for the majority of ministers prefer to serve in cities and towns.”

  Without commenting, Mark rocked slowly back and forth. “Both of the kids are asleep. Suppose we should put them to bed?”

  “It’s early yet. It’s been hot today, so let’s wait a little longer for the upstairs to cool.”

  “Alice, I’d like to hear about your marriage,” Mark said quietly. “Do you mind?”

  Galloping horses and the squeaking wheels of a stagecoach from the house indicated that the Wilcoxes were still engrossed in their Western show. Alice halted the swing, groping for words.

  “John Larkin was thirty years older than I, and he was the father of my best college friend. I went home with Martha numerous weekends and was accepted as one of the family. Her mother had been dead several years. Right before we graduated from college, Martha was killed in an automobile accident. She was his only child, and her death devastated John.”

  Alice swung back and forth for a while, and her hand on Eddie’s side monitored the soft rise and fall of his breathing, as she relived that tragedy. She’d been heartbroken when Martha was killed.

  “He insisted on keeping in close contact with me, and I continued to visit him. John seemed to transfer his paternal devotion to me, and I thought that was all there was to our relationship until he asked me to marry him.”

  “Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll understand if you don’t want to discuss it. I’m not being nosy—it’s important for me to know.”

  She held out her hand and he caressed it tenderly while she talked.

  “I was shocked at first, for I’d never thought of him romantica
lly. I’d considered all of his attention to me as a catharsis for Martha’s loss. It scared me, and I backed off—didn’t see him for several months. At that time, I didn’t know how important love was to a marriage, and I finally agreed to marry John. My parents had a fit—you see, John was older than they were—but they became reconciled to it. If I had the decision to make over again, I don’t know what I’d do.”

  “You didn’t love him?”

  “Not the way you mean. I respected him, and we did have a good marriage. He was very kind and considerate—I wasn’t unhappy, but…”

  “But?”

  “It wasn’t long before I knew that I wanted more from marriage, but it was too late to change. When John became ill, I had plenty to occupy my mind, and I didn’t think about what might have been.”

  “You’re a kind and compassionate person, Alice, giving up your youth to help the father of your friend recover from her death, and you sacrificed again to nurse and care for him. In the same way, you’ve given up your own comfort for my family—I don’t know how much you’ve sacrificed for us, but I’m beginning to think it’s quite a lot. I’ve never known anyone like you, Alice.”

  He’d moved his chair closer to the swing while she talked, and he lifted the hand he held to his lips.

  Alice stirred under his gesture, but she withdrew her hand. The only way she could possibly continue her position as a nanny was to rebuff, or at least, discourage Mark’s overtures. But to do so was the hardest thing Alice had ever dealt with, for she yearned to give him everything he needed—not only financially but emotionally. She couldn’t get Erin’s appraisal of Clarice out of her mind, but even if she’d been an affectionate woman before her illness, Alice surmised that it had been more than two years since Mark had experienced any tenderness from anyone—always giving out, and getting nothing in return. It was little wonder he’d despaired to the point of almost forsaking God.

  “We should be getting the children in bed,” Alice said.

  “I hope I haven’t offended you,” Mark said.

  “You know better than that,” Alice whispered. “I can’t give way to my real feelings. I’m still trying to put the welfare of others before what I want. Kristin and Eddie aren’t ready to share you yet.”

  He nodded and released her hand. She nudged Eddie awake. “Time to get in bed, Eddie. We have to get up a little earlier to get ready for church. Remember, we’re going to the church I attended when I was a little girl.”

  Eddie stirred, sat up, and dangled his feet over the edge of the swing. “Is Daddy going with us?”

  “I don’t know—you’ll have to ask him.”

  Mark helped Eddie dress for church, and Alice wondered if he might go with them, for instead of shorts and knit shirt like he’d worn yesterday, he came to breakfast in dress slacks and a blue sport shirt, but she didn’t ask. Since the Wilcoxes’ only vehicle was a pickup truck, they were all going in the van. Mark stood on the porch and watched as the others climbed into the vehicle. Although she’d decided Mark couldn’t be pressured in the important spiritual decisions he must make, before she got into the driver’s seat, she walked back to the porch where he leaned against one of the pillars.

  “I could use a chauffeur.” She held out her keys.

  He wouldn’t meet her eyes, and she thought he would refuse. When he finally reached out and took the keys, she wanted to throw her arms around him, but conscious of the four sets of watching eyes behind them, Alice turned and took the rear seat in the van beside Kristin.

  “I’m glad Daddy’s going with us,” the girl whispered.

  “So am I.”

  The church was located two miles away, in a shady grove along the same river that flowed through the farm. “We used to have picnics once a month during the summer, and the kids looked forward to them,” Alice said.

  Although Alice was pleased to have Mark attend church with them, she couldn’t help fear that someone might drop a remark that would reveal her financial status.

  So, instead of saying that she was the children’s nanny, she introduced the Tanners as “Mark Tanner and his children—friends of mine.” Even that introduction caused a few raised eyebrows, but at least no one would be saying, “A nanny—what happened to your money? I didn’t suppose you’d ever have to work again.”

  To forestall any speculation among her former neighbors, Alice arranged to have Mark sit beside Landon, with the two children beside him, and for Margaret to sit between her and Kristin and Eddie.

  Before they’d left the farm, she’d told Kristin and Eddie that they wouldn’t have a separate service, but would have to sit in the sanctuary with the adults. But the minister did have a story time for the children, and with Mark’s encouragement, his two children went forward with the others.

  Alice’s hands clenched during the hymn preceding the sermon, and her heart wept for Mark’s anguish, when the congregation sang, “I’ve Wandered Far Away From God, But Now I’m Coming Home.” And when the minister read the text for his sermon, “‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no more worthy to be called your son,’” she knew Mark was in for a rough morning. But she believed this service was part of God’s plan to bring Mark back to his ordained place in the ministry. Perhaps the gentle wooing of the Spirit would come more easily to Mark from this stranger than from one of his former colleagues.

  When the services ended, Landon directed Mark to drive back to the farm on a circuitous route that led past a waterfall and an abandoned gristmill. The chatter of Margaret and the children as they passed these sites covered Mark’s silence, but Alice, sensitive to all of his moods, was convinced that the morning’s message was speaking to his heart.

  Chapter Six

  When they drove into the farmyard, a compact car stood behind Mark’s station wagon. Alice recognized it at once, and glancing at the porch, she saw her parents coming down the steps to meet them. Alice looked quickly at Margaret.

  “Did you know they were coming today?”

  Margaret smiled wryly. “No, but they did know you would be here this week, so I’m not too surprised.”

  She meant to convey a message to Mark when she said, “Well, kids, you’re going to meet my mother and father.”

  “It’s fun to meet so many new people,” Kristin said.

  Alice wasn’t pleased with her parents’ presence, for they hadn’t wanted her to take the nanny position, and she was sure they’d come to see what she’d gotten herself into. And short of coming to the Tanner house, how else could they have found out?

  “Hi, Margaret,” Harley Taylor called. “Got any extra fried chicken for two hungry people?”

  “Not chicken, but we’ve got plenty of meat loaf,” Margaret replied. “You’re welcome.”

  Attempting to hide her annoyance, Alice greeted her parents, wishing as she often had since they’d moved away from the farm that they’d stayed more active. Retirement hadn’t been good for either of them—they’d become sedentary and were gaining too much weight.

  She turned to Mark, and the two children who watched curiously. “Mom, Dad, I want you to meet the Tanner family. This is Mark, Kristin and Eddie,” she said, laying an affectionate hand on Eddie’s curly hair. Meeting Mark’s glance, she added, “Norma and Harley Taylor.”

  With uncommon jollity, Harley shook hands with Mark and the children. “So, our Alice has become your nanny. Has she paddled you yet?”

  “No, sir,” Eddie said, his blue eyes sparkling. “Alice is good to us. She lets us play games on her computer, and she fixes us real good meals.”

  “She took me to camp, and she plays games with us when Daddy’s late getting home from work,” Kristin added.

  Alice flushed at their praise.

  “We’re fortunate to have Alice—she’s done wonders with the children,” Mark added.

  “I’m sure she has,” Norma spoke for the first time.

  “Come on in the house,” Landon said.

  “I’ll s
ee that the children change clothes and pack their suitcases if you need to help Margaret,” Mark said to Alice.

  “I’ll leave right after lunch and take the children with me, so you can have the rest of the day with your family.”

  “Thanks,” she answered, not sure she wanted to be left to face her parents’ inquisition.

  Mealtime went very well, thanks to Landon, who had the knack of putting everyone at ease. Mark had recovered from the reflective mood that had gripped him since the morning’s sermon, and he knew how to meet people at their own level by discussing what was important to them. Even Norma Taylor, whom Alice suspected had made up her mind not to like Mark, seemed impressed with him. No wonder Mark was so successful in the ministry—he loved people and was sincerely interested in their lives and aspirations. Alice thought of the song they’d sung this morning: “I’ve Wandered Far Away From God, But Now I’m Coming Home.” She longed for the day when Mark would sing those words and mean them.

  The only unpleasant part of the meal was when Eddie overturned a glass of tea into Alice’s lap. His lips puckered, and Alice put her arms around him.

  “Never mind, Eddie. That could have happened to any of us.”

  “But, Alice, I’ve ruined your pretty dress.”

  “No, you haven’t!” She kissed Eddie on the forehead. “Here, help me soak up what’s on the table and floor with these napkins, and then I’ll change into something dry.”

  “You’re still just a baby, Eddie,” Kristin said.

  “That’s enough, Kristin,” Mark said sternly. “I’ll help Eddie clean up, Alice—you go ahead and change.”

  As soon as the meal was finished, Mark went upstairs for their luggage and packed it into the station wagon. As they prepared to leave, Eddie and Kristin both held a puppy, looking wistfully at their father. The subject of adopting a puppy had come up several times during the weekend, but Mark had been noncommittal to his children’s pleas.