If You See Her

by Shiloh Walker

Her breathing hitched. She reached up, curled one hand around his wrist.

  “Sometimes a few minutes, a few seconds, even just one look can be all it takes,” he said quietly, lifting his head and staring down at her. Resting a hand on her waist, he drew her close. “It doesn’t excuse what he did, and I don’t know if that’s the reason. But it’s one that makes sense in my mind. I can’t think of any other reason why Law would suddenly decide to turn into an ass, at least where you’re concerned.”

  Determined to see her smile, he added, “I think he’s always been an ass, but at least with you, he tries not to show it …”

  It worked, for just the barest second. But some of the misery faded from her eyes. Still scowling though, he noticed. Her brow furrowed as she smoothed her hands down his shoulders. “So you think maybe he’s just, um, attracted to her?”

  Remy grimaced. “Now you’re asking for more than I’m equipped to handle. You asked for a plausible reason and I gave you one. But yeah, maybe that’s what it is. But if that’s the case, I’d say it’s more than attraction.” Nuzzling her neck, he murmured, “After all, attraction isn’t quite describing what I feel for you.”

  “Hmmm.” She tipped her head back. “And just what does?”

  “Oh, now that list could go on. And on …” He raked her soft flesh with his teeth and smiled as she shivered. “But if you really want me to go on, you really should lock that door.”

  And to his surprise, she pulled out of his arms, then went and did just that.

  Remy grimaced as he glanced at the clock on the dashboard. He had way too much work to get done and there weren’t enough hours left in the night to get do it.

  “I made you run behind again,” Hope said.

  He shook his head. “No, you didn’t. I’m the one who told you to lock the door.” Then he grinned. “And you did it, too … I was a little surprised by that.”

  Hope grinned back at him, despite the blush on her cheeks. The smile faded as he came to a stop in front of Law’s house.

  “You okay?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Then she glanced at him. “I am, really. Something dawned on me, earlier. This isn’t home to me, you know? I need a place of my own. Or at least someplace that doesn’t just feel like …”

  “Someplace where you’re not a guest?”

  “Yeah.” She blew out a breath. “That’s not Law’s fault. He doesn’t treat me like a guest. But this isn’t home.”

  “Then find someplace that is.” As soon as he said it, he wanted to yank it back. And because he wasn’t about to see her leaving, he reached out and curled a hand around her neck, adding, “As long as you find it around here. Because if you try to find it elsewhere, I’ll probably follow you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Just found you … not losing you.” He kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth and groaning roughly as she opened for him.

  “I’m not too fond of the idea of losing you, either,” she mumbled as she pulled away. She licked her lips, then made a soft little humming sound under her breath.

  It drove him nuts.

  “I might kind of look around, see what happens,” she said, sighing. “I can’t do anything fancy, but I can find something decent, I suppose. Law p … ah … well, I’ve fairly steady money coming in.”

  Law … He bit back a laugh and suddenly, he figured something out. That heavy-ass box she’d been fighting him over the day he’d come out here—it had been full of books, envelopes and stuff. Law’s books.

  She was working for the guy. Somehow.

  Shit, no wonder she didn’t feel at home here. Running his tongue along his teeth, he asked, “So … just where does that steady money come from? If you’re looking for a place to stay, you’ll need to list a job, you know.”

  Her eyes went wide, panicked.

  “Ah …”

  Remy cocked a brow. “I guess self-employed might work, if you had Law listing you as a contract employee or something—I don’t know if writers do that sort of thing.”

  “What … you …” She snapped her mouth closed, staring at him.

  Grinning at her, he shrugged. “Hey, I’m a lawyer. Between me and Nielson, we know everything about everybody. But don’t worry. It’s not like I plan on taking out an ad on it or anything.”

  “You know?”

  “Yep.” He rested a hand on her thigh and shrugged. “I just figured out what you were doing, though. You work for him. Assistant or whatever, I take it?”

  “Yeah. Pretty much. He … well, Law’s not exactly organized. I am. I handle all the stuff that he forgets, and the stuff that he doesn’t have to do, so he can worry about what he needs to do—which is write. It works, better than I thought it would, actually.”

  “And he pays you.”

  She shot him a wide grin. “Oh, yeah.” Her smile faded and she sighed. “Although I can’t really put down ‘author’s assistant’ on any application, can I?”

  Remy shrugged. “Hell, self-employed will probably work. Besides, this is Ash. We’re more likely to let things slide than some. And maybe I can help you find a place.”

  He wanted to offer his place, but that wasn’t right, either, he realized.

  As much as he’d love to have her there, she’d never had anything on her own. And the two years she’d spent after she’d left her husband, that didn’t really count, because he suspected she’d spent every minute of that constantly moving around, fearing he might come looking for her.

  Hope needed to settle, needed to see that she could stand on her own. By herself. She needed it.

  “Maybe we can look around this weekend. There are some apartments and stuff in town,” he said softly, stroking a thumb over her lip. “Although Law’s going to lose it when you mention this to him. Especially with all the crazy stuff going on.”

  He reached down and brushed his fingers over the scars on her wrists. “Hell, I don’t even like to think about it.”

  “And what if we never find who did it?” Hope shook her head. “I can’t live in limbo.”

  “No.” He looked back at the house, caught a glimpse of Reilly’s shadow passing in front of a window. “You can’t. And that’s the argument you’ll have to use with him. That … and the fact that you’ll let Ezra help you pick out a security system. Would help if you picked a place in town. All the stuff has happened out here in the rural parts, so if you’re in town, it might help.”

  He slid her a look. “What about a dog?”

  “A dog?” A cautious look entered her eyes. “What about a dog?”

  He chuckled. “We’ll talk more later. I need to get home, and drown myself in work.”

  “Okay.” She leaned over and kissed him.

  “I need a few days to get caught up. But can I take you out Friday? Maybe you can stay the night and we can look around on Saturday?”

  A smile curled her lips. “Yes. I think I’d like that.”

  When he finally saw Hope climbing out of the car, Law did not rush the front door.

  That was his first instinct. But he didn’t let it take over.

  Instead, he sat in his chair, glaring at his computer and debating on whether he should take the pain medicine the doctor had prescribed him earlier. The office had worked him in before he’d gone by the Inn to talk to Lena. He hadn’t damaged anything, but he sure as hell felt like something had been damaged. His arm hurt.

  Of course, focusing on the arm made it easier to not think about Hope.

  Space.

  She needed space.

  She needed Remy more than she needed him now.

  And while Law was glad she had somebody in her life now, it left him feeling a little hollow inside.

  Jealous as hell. Which only pissed him off more.

  He listened to the door close, lock. Listened to her footsteps start across the hallway and he braced himself for her to walk right on by. But then she stopped. Slowly, he shifted his gaze to her. She stood there, her hands in h
er back pockets, her head cocked.

  “Hey.”

  Leaning back in the chair, he said, “Hey.”

  They heard the car engine rev outside as Remy pulled away. Hope glanced toward the front of the house, as though she was tracking the car with her eyes, even though she couldn’t see it.

  When she looked back at him, there was a soft, happy little smile on her face. Law had seen a similar smile on Lena’s face a lot lately. Hell. Hope was really falling for Remy.

  He was happy for her. He thought. Yeah, he was happy for her. Remy had already more than proved he had feelings for her.

  Sourly, he wondered if he’d be giving her away at her wedding in a few months. If he hadn’t totally fucked up their friendship.

  “I’ve got a question for you,” Hope blurted out.

  Law shifted his gaze back to her and lifted a brow.

  “Is it because you’re … ah … attracted to her? Is that why?”

  A dull red flush started to creep up his neck. Briefly, he wondered if he could play dumb and get out of this. Hope looked miserably uncomfortable, but there was a steely glint in her eyes and he suspected getting out of it just wasn’t going to happen.

  Sighing, he shut his laptop and shifted it over to the table. As he did, he knocked over the bottle of pain medication and it went rolling off the table, hitting the floor and there, it decided to roll under his chair.

  “Son of a bitch,” he growled. Standing up, he pushed the chair back and knelt down, grabbed the bottle. As he stood up, he looked up at Hope, met her eyes.

  “I don’t know her,” he said flatly. “I can’t much say if I’m attracted or not.”

  She just stared at him.

  Law fought with the bottle until he managed to get the stupid childproof cap off—one-handed made it very interesting. As he took two of the pills, he grabbed his cold coffee from the table and tossed it back.

  The coffee hit his raw stomach and reminded him he hadn’t eaten a damn thing. And he’d just taken a nice handful of codeine. Wonderful. Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck and met Hope’s eyes again. “I don’t know her,” he repeated. “But … well, before she jerked out the gun, there was definitely some part of me that was thinking I wanted to know her.”

  He grimaced. “Wanted to know her a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a woman and felt it hit me that fast. Then …”

  “Then she pulls a gun out on us.” Hope looked away. Her narrow shoulders rose and fell on a sigh. “Okay.”

  Law stared at her.

  “Okay?” he repeated.

  She looked back at him. “I’m not saying I’m all cool about what happened. But I’m not going to let it stick between us either.” Then she reached up and poked him in the chest, hard, her finger drilling into him. “But don’t do that again.”

  “I won’t.” Shaking his head, he said quietly, “I promise.”

  “Okay, then.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek. “I’m heading to my room. I want to finish up and get to bed early. I’m going into Lexington tomorrow.”

  “Why?”

  She glanced down at her clothes, a grimace twisting her face. “Because I’m tired of Remy taking me out and him looking like a thousand bucks and I look like Raggedy Ann’s ugly redheaded stepsister.”

  CHAPTER

  EIGHTEEN

  SHE SPENT NEARLY THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS ON clothes.

  She felt almost giddy over it, too.

  It should have seemed like a small thing—buying clothes. Okay, maybe not the three hundred fricking dollars part, but the buying clothes. It wasn’t really such a big deal, or it shouldn’t be.

  It was, though. Especially for her. Hope hadn’t let herself think about it much—if she had, she might have had a nervous breakdown. But as she left the TJ Maxx in Lexington, she thought about what she’d just done.

  Other than the clothes she’d picked up from thrift stores over the past couple of years, and the shopping trip with Lena a month or so earlier, this was the first time she’d ever really done any shopping for herself.

  On her own. It shouldn’t be such a big deal. Just like the haircut shouldn’t have been such a big deal.

  But when she’d gone shopping while married to Joey, he’d always been there and nothing had been bought without his approval. He’d even helped her pick out her wedding dress. The clothes for the honeymoon. He picked out and bought all her damned underclothes.

  Everything. Not this time.

  She’d done it all by herself and she’d only bought the stuff she wanted … and a few things she thought that Remy might like. Jubilant, and in the mood for a celebration, after she stashed her clothes in the car, she treated herself to some ice cream before starting the drive home.

  She was tempted to stay out longer, just to enjoy the feel of it … without being afraid. But if she was gone too long, Law would start calling, and even though she was still disgruntled with him, she didn’t want to worry him.

  With that mind of his, it didn’t take much for him to start getting paranoid.

  Even as that thought was circling through her mind, she glanced in her rearview mirror and caught sight of a light blue sedan, a few cars back.

  Frowned. Because she’d seen one just like it on the drive in.

  Light blue sedan.

  She couldn’t make out anybody through the windshield, at least not without wrecking. Focusing back on the road, she waited a minute and then looked again.

  There it was. She crossed a few lanes of traffic. It crossed with her, hanging back, but staying there. Almost like the driver wanted to be seen …

  “Get a grip,” she muttered to herself.

  It looked like … well, probably a million blue sedans in the world. But the sight of it sent a chill down her spine. Convulsively, her hand tightened around the ice cream cone and it crunched in her hand. Swearing, she dumped it in the open cup that held the dregs of her coffee. Then she shot her rearview mirror another glance.

  Still there. Farther back.

  But still there.

  Her heart started to race and the euphoria she’d been feeling only moments earlier started to die.

  Now it tasted like ashes on her tongue. Was the driver following her?

  Or was it just all in her head?

  And that was not a question somebody who had often doubted her sanity really wanted to ask … not at all.

  Joe smiled as he trailed after Hope.

  She’d made him—knew he was following her.

  Oh, other than that one lane change she’d made, she hadn’t shown much of a reaction, but his gut said she’d made him, and he believed in listening to his gut. He was tempted to close the distance between them. Tempted to drive alongside her, maybe even smile at her, wave.

  See how she reacted.

  But he didn’t. When he let her see him, it was going to be when they had plenty of time alone. Not on a damn freeway.

  Torn between disgust and amusement, he watched as Joe Carson hung on to his ex-wife’s bumper. He suspected Hope had seen him—probably didn’t know who was following her. But she knew somebody was. And the cop thought he was so damn smart.

  Although, he had to admit, he did understand the appeal of the chase.

  The chase, after all, was what led to his current mess … and his predicament.

  He burned, ached for another chase. Needed it, hungered for it.

  But he was going to have to hold off. Had to wait until there wasn’t so much interest, so much focus. Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have a distraction.

  Watching this fool chasing after Hope was actually very, very amusing.

  It was Saturday.

  In just over three hours, she was meeting Remy in town and they were looking at an apartment. The plans to spend the night at his place had fallen through—he’d been stuck dealing with things in his office for a lot later than he’d planned. But that was fine.

  She’d spend tonight at his place instead. Even t
hinking about it made her smile.

  But first, the apartment. It was in her price range—just—and she could just drive out to Law’s for work. He wasn’t going to like it, she suspected, but hey … he hadn’t expected her to stay forever, right?

  This was only supposed to be temporary. A fact she had to remind him of, repeatedly, the moment she told him her plans.

  “You’re what?” he demanded some thirty minutes later.

  “Looking at an apartment,” she repeated calmly. “This wasn’t ever supposed to be long term, and you know it.”

  “Long term? Hell, it’s barely been a couple of months.” He looked dazed. Then he shook his head. “But … no. Look, Hope, I know we’ve got some problems here, but there’s no reason to go leaving—”

  She clapped her hand over his mouth. “Stop,” she said flatly. “It’s not about … that. It’s about me. I need my own place, Law. I’m strangling here. And I need to prove to myself I can do this. That I can have a place, on my own, and not feel so terrified that I need to bolt. This is for me, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. At all. It’s for me.”

  “How much of it has to do with Remy?” he asked sourly. His hazel eyes darkened as he studied her face.

  And she noticed that he looked tired. Very tired.

  “Not much,” she replied. “It’s about me, for me. It’s not about him. Or you. Or even Joe. Can you try to understand that?”

  Law blew out a harsh sigh. Then he caught her hand, twined their fingers. “We went all this time and never had any trouble, you know. I never once hurt you. Why all of a sudden are we doing this?”

  “Growing pains?” she offered with a smile. Maybe part of the problem was the fact they’d never once had any major bumps in their friendship—not between them. There had been external factors … like Joe. But nothing between them, not until recently. Maybe that was why she still had that faint resentment and for both of their sakes, she needed to let it go.

  Pushing it aside, she eased close, wrapped an arm around his waist. His lean, rangy body felt harder, leaner. He hadn’t been eating well or sleeping well lately and she wondered how much of that had to do with her. “Law, you’ve got to stop worrying about me so much. I’m going to be fine, I promise.”