by Swart, Karen
I watched as he landed in the snow creating a trail in it. I was already moving forward, he wants a warrior then here I am. Watching, he got back up and his face showed it all; he was ready to stop playing and start fighting. I was wondering when he would get pissed off. He stormed forward and we met in the middle our fist and legs punching and kicking the hell out of each other. A counter here, and a punch there, we fought for was seemed like hours. His g-force punches would get him a split second of advantage, but with my wings as added weapons it was a short one.
With a blow from him, I lost my footing and ended up with my back on the snow. Before I could even get back up, he pinned me down. “Kasadya stop!” he yelled at me. But with all the adrenalin in me it was hard to stop, flashing through my mind was fight after fight that I’d had in Hell. I remembered the blood, I remembered the screams, but most of all I remembered the look in someone’s eyes before I took their life. “Kasadya, breathe for me,” Chax went on. I looked at him and realised that I wasn’t breathing hard anymore, I was hyperventilating. My eyes on his, I watched as my vision jumped from normal to the red haze I saw Draco with. Is this it? The moment I was dreading?
“Just breathe through it,” Chax tried once more. But my breathing wasn’t slowing down and my normal vision was almost nonexistent. What a final moment. Here in the cold with my Custos, no final glory, no grand exit, just us in a deserted place. Suddenly a pain shot through my wing and I screamed in agony. Confused, I looked at the wing, and then at Chax and froze. He just broke my wing, the pain rippling up to my back and into my spine. Shocked and suddenly afraid I looked at him, “Now breathe,” he instructed and I did.
I lay there, pinned beneath him, and started to try and control my breathing. He was watching me intently, his eyes boring into mine. “That’s it,” he said after a few minutes. “Take back control, this is how you will fight it, this is how you will live longer.” I felt heat on my left cheek and then felt it become ice cold, stopping just below my jaw. The same was happening on my other cheek. Tears, I felt my tears. Angry that I would be so weak in front of the one person I wanted to prove myself to, I pushed him off me and got up in super speed. Walking away from him, I wiped the now frozen tears off my face.
“Another reason for not telling you, we saw and watched as many young ones went into despair and lost hope of a future. And finally we watched as they walked straight into their own deaths. Kasadya, do you understand now?” he asked a few steps behind me. I still wasn’t ready to face him, the coward that I am, but mostly the fact that I would not have been standing here being lectured to if it wasn’t for him. In fact, that was the second time someone had to save me from myself. That’s it, that’s why I am feeling like this, because whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d failed two times already. I can’t win this.
“Yes, I understand,” I replied, just wanting this to end. How can one believe in a future when the very present shows you that you cannot win what is already destined to happen?
“Kasadya, look at me,” Chax said behind me. Pull yourself together, Kas. Yeah it sucks, and yeah it’s gonna happen, just get over it. I turned to look at him, my broken wing dragging in the snow. Funny, I didn’t feel the pain anymore. He was back to normal and standing real casual and looking at me.
I watched as he moved forward to me, and tried to keep myself still and calm, but the closer he got the more nervous I got and my feet didn’t want to play along. Hell, he had to break my wing just for me to snap out of it. He stopped in front of me, his eyes boring into mine. “Let me look at your wing,” he said, moving and bending to pick it up. With his touch the pain shot through me again and I had to bite down the scream. He spread it and felt the bone, his hand moving over it smoothly. I stood still and watched him. My eyes moved from his hand and travelled to his face, there I saw something I have never seen before. Regret or maybe something else, but he was not the cold Chax I know. I saw feeling in his eyes, and it was about me and my wing.
“It’s okay, Chax, you did what was needed to be done. Thank you for bringing me back,” I whispered to him. He stopped and his eyes shot up to mine, and there it was, the one thing I never knew was possible … Chax could feel.
“I am sorry, Kasadya, but it was the only option I had,” he whispered back to me. My heart almost broke at his words, but more at his eyes, this was troubling him. Perhaps there is hope for Chax, maybe he can learn from me, too.
“I have taken worse, Chax, and you saved me from going born,” I replied. At the word worse he looked down at my wing again, and his face turned into pissed off again. This guy was so confusing.
“Chax, why are you here?” someone asked from behind us. I turned my head and moved into attack mode in lightning speed. Standing in front of me was a demon, and behind him was more.
“Salve, Shian,” Chax replied, walking past me towards the demon, no swords raised.
“Chax, you bring other delapsum to us, why?” the demon asked. I watched as Chax stopped in front of him and braced his arms in our way of greeting. I grabbed my swords and moved backwards, shocked and angry at the same time. I was expecting a lot of traitorous fallen, but my own Custos?
Chax turned to me and with a small smile replied, “Shian, she needs to see in order to understand what our Sire gave her today,” Chax explained to the demon who in turn looked at me.
“What did The Sire bestow to her?” the demon asked Chax, looking back at him.
“A solution to your suffering, and perhaps a chance of redemption,” Chax continued on. With each word I was taking steps back, and I was beginning to think I should most likely shift out and bring the team in, but for the love of it I was too curious of what the hell Chax was doing with demons. I turned my swords in my hands, their blades swiping through the icy air. I spread my legs wider, to ensure that my feet were planted correctly to start swiping.
“Explain, Chax,” the demon encouraged.
Chax looked away from him and to me. “I am no traitor, Kasadya. I know that is what you think. Another weakness you have, you judge too quickly and don’t look beyond what you see. This is Shian, he is my brother, but unlike Caim and me, he did not repent when our Sire asked for it. His punishment was like the others, but unlike the demons—he and the others you see here today—could not become the evil they were meant to be. They are outsiders in all the realms,” Chax explained.
“What Chax says is the truth,” the demon confessed. Now both were looking at me for a reaction. Okay, so this is his brother, gone demon, but without the evil part? No freaking way, I’d had enough. I tried shifting out to the compound but nothing happen. Frustrated, I tried again, but with no luck. I looked at Chax, who now pointed at his cross necklace. Freaking hell!
“Kasadya, you do not trust easily, but that is understandable. Today I ask that you trust me, just one more time. Let me show you why I brought you here, and what I need you to see,” Chax said, moving closer to me. I tried backing away, but I was now completely frozen.
“You ask me to trust you, yet you take my free will to decide away!” I yelled at him. How the hell do you trust, when you have no choice? Chax stopped and I felt the hold on me disappear. Stepping forward, I tested it and was feeling better about the situation. I looked at Chax and then the demon, should I trust him? Hell, so far trusting him didn’t work out too well, and then again, he just saved my life. I had an internal battle, trust him become demon chow. Or try and kill him first then the demons, and every time the “just saved your life” part won out. “Okay, show me,” I finally said, my eyes resting on Chax as I returned back to human form.
The demon walked slowly towards me, his hands raised. In reflex, I turned my blades. “I will not harm you, I vow on our Sire’s name,” he said, and I looked at Chax who nodded. This must be the craziest thing I have ever done. The demon slowly lifted his hands, his fingers coming to rest on my temples. “For you to see,” he continued and I knew that he was going to do something similar to what Chax did earlier.
Images blasted into my head, of thousands of demons, Hell, and him. The evil one, his face was unseen, but his eyes held the evil of the world in them. He was speaking to the demons, telling them what he had just done for them, that revenge was at hand, and to make our Sire’s children suffer for their demise.
In the images, I spoke up and said that these children did nothing to us, they carry no ill intent towards us, why hurt them? I was thrown backwards and many demons attacked me, walking away they left me crippled and hurt. The evil one came towards me, and as he reached me told me that I am weak, and unworthy of them. That I should leave, and never return again. From there the images were of me dragging myself through a crack in the wall and then I was in the human world.
A few days I lay in a forest, trying to heal, but no healing came. And then Chax stood before me, his eyes full of death. “Kill me, brother,” I called to him, “finish this.” Chax stepped forward, his sword drawn ready to end my suffering. Too long have I laid here in my own blood, too long have I called for mercy from our Sire. And now finally the mercy was here to be delivered, as Chax reached me I called out one more time, “Forgive me, Father, for I have betrayed you,” and closed my eyes not to see the death in my brother’s eyes, but to remember our time before this, to remember our love we shared, not hatred.
But the death blow did not come; I opened my eyes, angry and hurt. “Brother, please brother,” I begged and found no one but myself. I called out to our Father and ask why he would not give me mercy? I felt the wind move and Gabriel appeared before me and gave me a daffodil. Smiling, he left and I held the flower. “I understand, Father,” I called to the sky. For what must be days I laid in the woods, holding the flower to my heart. There was hope and a future, I just needed to wait. I will serve my Father again, just like I served him before. Chax returned a long time after that, when my wounds started to close slowly, he looked at me and I showed him the flower explaining Gabriel’s visit.
Chax then picked me up, and shifted me to this ice land. Here, I healed in time and found more demons like me, cast out from Hell and unworthy of other realms. With them they brought a daffodil, which Gabriel delivered to them. For years we have waited, for years we serve our Father that wants us to serve him. We did not sway; we did not commit sin again. The images stopped and I opened my eyes to find the demons face in front of me, smiling softly. “I did not harm you?” he asked. I shook my head and looked at Chax, who was standing a few steps away looking intently at us.
“Did you see?” Chax asked.
“Yes, we all received a message from Gabriel, we all received the daffodil. Why?” I asked, slowly moving away from the demon. It was against my nature to accept that a demon can become a friend.
Chax walked over and stopped in front of me. His eyes too intense for me, I dropped my eyes and looked at the demon. “I believe you are their hope and future, Kasadya. That you are our Sire’s last reach for redemption. You were destined to save them from their demise and perhaps, save many more. Do you understand the message I was trying to teach you?” Chax asked, lifting my face up to look at him by placing his hand under my chin. We looked at each other and I just couldn’t think of the right message, he smiled. “To make a difference in this world, no matter how small.”
We stood there for a few seconds and looked at each other, his emerald green eyes shining down at me. So this was his great message, to make a difference? I looked at the demon and then at the others, they were crowded together and looked miserable. The females had wounds that were dressed, but red marred the dressing. Why don’t they heal like the others? I looked at the males, who stood guard over the females, protecting them from us; no from me. Could this be possible, was I destined to save them? How in the world do I save others, when my own demise is just around the corner? I can’t even save myself, now I need to save others. This can’t be right, I mean, look at me, I am a walking disaster. Even more, I am dead myself. It just can’t be.
Chapter 11
“How?” I asked, looking back into Chax’s eyes. He smiled at me again, and not the evil smile. Twice in one day, could Chax be turning into a good guy?
“I am sure Amon and his facility will hold the answer. I do not wish for it to be like the other demon,” Chax answered and I saw something in his eyes before he dropped his hand and turned around.
“I would prefer if we don’t do it that way either. My reaction to Draco was not good at all,” I replied, watching him look at the demons.
“Yes, you were so close,” a bare whisper. “First we must return to the compound and present this to the others, and of course the council,” Chax continued and turned back to look at his brother. “I will return with news,” he concluded with a haunted look in his face we shifted back to the compound, landing on the helicopter pad.
Walking behind Chax, we made our way into the compound and walked down the hallway. “You know that the council will go ballistic with this. How are you going to change their minds?” I asked as we hit the first turn.
“True, they have never been easy on change, and you have already brought back something to adapt to,” Chax replied and we turned into the Intel room to find Ryan and Max on chairs, Melissa and Amon taking blood from them.
“You have returned in one piece, I see,” Don answered, looking at me. I smiled at him and went to stand with the girls looking at Max and Ryan.
“Indeed, you are taking samples of the half breeds?” Chax asked him.
He nodded. “Kas used her blood to change them, Melissa believes that they might perhaps hold the same unique ability,” Don replied. I looked around the room and saw that Michael, Raphael, and Draco weren’t there anymore.
“Where is Draco?” I asked. We so don’t need a loose demon on the prowl.
“Michael and Raphael took him for some air, he’s got a booboo,” Nanini replied smiling like a little devil.
“Um, a booboo?” I asked, confused.
Lada shook her head at that. “She means that he didn’t take the news that well. Amon completed his sample and the results are as expected, the demon is becoming human,” she explained. Oh goodie, then he won’t be able to abduct girls anymore and make their lives living hell.
“Why are you bruised and covered in blood?” Max asked, and I faced him. Okay, how to explain I almost lost it again and had to be saved, again. No, Max would not take that well.
“We had a training session to release my tension,” I answered, looking at Chax who was regarding us.
“A training session? It looks more like a fight, are you okay?” Max continued on. I nodded and gave Chax a small smile. Chax’s eyes were fixed on me, and then his gaze dropped to Max. I looked at Max who was now giving Chax the look of death. Oh boy, this is going to be rough.
“Don, we have something to share with everyone. Would you be able to fetch Astin and the Archangels? We would need their assistance if we are going to take this to the council,” Chax explained, his eyes returning to me as he finished. Silence followed and all eyes now turned to me. I just dropped my head to the floor. I was drained for the day and I’d rather not explain it twice. I heard Don exit the room, and looked up to find Kali fidgeting with her necklace, the death charm.
Concerned, I walked over to her, placing my hand on hers. “Are you okay?” I asked her. She looked around at the others who were back to the blood samples.
“Yes, don’t worry, Kas. It’s just that I can feel it,” she explained.
From turning demons into humans back to saving Kali, hell of a life. Don came walking back in with the Archangels and Draco, who was looking really bad. He looked up at me and I was expecting him to attack me again, but he surprised me and went to sit down in the corner like a good boy. “Chax, you have some news?” Michael asked when Astin and Annabelle shifted in and settled down. Chax looked at everyone and his eyes came to rest on Caim.
“When we started to serve, I found our brother Shian in the woods; he was injured and begging for me to slay him. But as I
reached him he called out to our Sire and asked for forgiveness. I could not destroy him, I was too weak,” Chax started. I watched as Caim’s face played out with the words. First the hatred at the mention of his brother, and ending in sorrow for Chax. It must be very difficult to slay your own brother, but for someone like Chax I knew it was almost unbelievable he didn’t do it. The others looked at each other, trying not to make the situation even more epic.
“I returned a few weeks later, determined to correct my mistake. When I approached him, he showed me a flower. Gabriel had delivered a message from our Sire. The flower was a daffodil, just like today. I chose then to save my brother, but placed him in the ice lands to ensure he could do no harm. In my travels I have found more demons, carrying the daffodil message from Gabriel and ensured that they all stayed together. I kept an eye on them from afar, and have never seen one of these demons commit a sin. I believe they have been chosen by our Sire for something else. A last redemption,” Chax explained. Ending on that note, they all looked at me. Caim’s eyes stayed on Chax, but they were filled with sadness. He had the same eyes when I met him in Hell.
