by Diane Allen
‘I’ll not say a word to my mother or father, not until you want me to. And as long as you are happy, Uncle Harry, it is of no consequence to me.’ Meg couldn’t help but smile at her rueful-looking uncle.
‘Aye, that’s grand. Mrs Woof is a terrible old gossip and reads things into stuff that other folk wouldn’t even imagine. She was trying to tell me you were sweet on Sam Alderson, and you barely know the lad – silly old fool.’ Harry sat down in his chair.
‘Don’t worry, Uncle Harry, you do what you want to do. I’m sure my Aunt Mary would have understood, and she’d want you to be happy. I’ll go back into the shop now and you calm yourself. As you say, she’s a gossip.’ Meg was relieved that Harry was too busy worrying about his own love life to have witnessed the blush on her cheeks as Sam’s name was mentioned. Now all she could think about was the safety of her Sam; with half the village against him, his life would not be worth living.
‘Don’t let them buggers get the better of you.’ Jack stopped on the fellside, his ribs still hurting from the beating he had taken in the boxing ring. However, this morning his brother’s safety on his walk to work was worth enduring a bit of pain for.
‘You shouldn’t be with us – you are in no fit state to walk up this gill edge to the mine, let alone pick up a shovel in the furnace.’ Sam held his arm out for his brother to take, as Jack caught his breath and leaned backwards to take the pressure off his sore ribs.
‘And have you battered and thumped to death by the local henchmen? I don’t think so! You heard what Billie Collins said, when he hammered on our door in the early hours. The locals are out to get you. It doesn’t matter if you were the father or not; they are out for revenge, and your face and your gob fit.’ Jack placed his arm on his brother’s shoulder as he caught his breath again and then looked solemnly at Sam. ‘If I were you, I’d get myself away out of Swaledale for a while, until it all calms down. Something else will come along for them all to talk about and get worked up over, but I honestly fear for your life. You were seen so often with Margaret in and around the village last summer, they are bound to think the baby’s yours.’ Jack stood up and looked around him. ‘It’s not like this dale is owt special. And there are men forever wanted for the building of these new railways. I’ve even thought about leaving myself, but my head’s really set on going further afield.’
‘You mean bloody America – you are always dreaming of that place. I tell you what: there’s only land, sky and water wherever you go. It’s all just in different quantities, with different creatures on it and in it. I’m not going anywhere; they are not getting rid of me that easy. Besides, I’m not leaving Meg. Not now, when I think I’ve actually found the right girl for me – if there is such a thing – although I keep doubting myself. I’m a bit fickle when it comes to this love thing. Plus there’s our mother. If you bugger off, she’ll be on her own.’
‘I’m only trying to help. Think about it. I’ll help you out with some money – you know I’ve been saving without Mother knowing. You could pay me back when you’ve got a job. I’d rather not see your ugly mug for a month or two than have to bury it, when you’ve been battered to death by those ignorant bloody farmers that are baying for your blood.’ Jack bent double in pain as they nearly reached the top of the fell and the lead-mines.
‘For God’s sake, our lad, go back home. You are neither use nor ornament to anybody, the state you are in. Go back before anybody sees you. I’ve got to call in to Supplies for some gunpowder anyway, so get yourself home and we’ll talk more tonight.’ Sam patted his brother on the back. He was a good man and was only trying to protect him, in truth, but at this moment in time Jack hadn’t the strength to blow out a candle, let alone take on somebody in a fight. Besides, it was his fight; nothing at all to do with his brother. And as far as anybody else was concerned, it was not his baby – not that anyone would believe him. He was being made a scapegoat for the locals’ hatred; that had been obvious when the farmer who supplied the miners’ cottages with milk had spat in his face that morning and had threatened to piss in their milk.
Perhaps Jack was right; perhaps he would be best getting away for a while. At least while he was at work at the mine he was with his own kind, he thought as he signed for his gunpowder and put it in his pocket, then entered the mine to many a slap on the back and a jape aimed at him. He was safe at work. But back down in the village was another matter. He’d have to lie low for a day or two, he thought, as he made his way into the dark bowels of the mountain and the relative safety of the place he knew best.
17
‘I don’t know. First it’s a cow calving that stops me from seeing our Meg, and now it’s a baby on its way. I’m sure Mrs Armstrong would have managed to bring Nellie Birbeck’s baby into the world alone, but she’s sent for me to help, so there must be complications and she won’t be able to afford the doctor, the poor soul.’ Agnes picked up her shawl and looked at Dan, who up till a few minutes ago was going to take her into Swaledale to see Meg, even though he’d moaned a bucketful about doing so. ‘Here, take her this note and explain to Meg what’s happened, and that her father’s gone into Dent to look at some sheep. The poor lass will think we’ve forgotten her – especially me, I haven’t seen her for nearly three weeks.’
Agnes scribbled a note quickly, giving her apologies to Meg and saying that she hoped she was well, and that she missed and loved her. ‘Make sure you tell her I love her, and that both her father and I will be over shortly. Now I’ll have to go. There isn’t a minute to lose, if that baby is to be born alive.’ Agnes thrust the note into Dan’s hand and set off across the field in the direction of the Birbecks’ house and the birthing mother.
Dan looked at the note in his hand – the note he had no intention of delivering to Meg. He screwed it up and placed it on the kitchen fire, then grinned to himself as he watched the flames engulf the words of love.
He was trying to win over Tom Oversby, playing on his misconception that women did not make good farmers, and placing himself in line to inherit Beck Side after his aunt and uncle’s day. After all, half of the farm should rightly have been Tom’s sister’s, so he had as much right to it as Meg ever had. He’d go over to the shop and tell Meg that nobody could be bothered to come over and see her; that he’d only been sent because there was butter to be sold. That would really upset her and would make her feel unloved, the spoilt bitch. He couldn’t have planned things better if he’d tried.
‘What’s up, Meg? You look a bit down this morning.’ Harry looked across at his usually cheery guest and couldn’t help but notice a gloom hanging over her.
‘I’m alright. I thought my father or my mum would have come to see me yesterday. But Dan said they were both too busy, although he didn’t know exactly what they were doing when I quizzed him.’
‘Aye, lass, they’ll have had their reasons. Your parents love you, and just because they haven’t come to see you doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about you.’ Harry smiled at Meg. ‘He’s a bit of a chancer, is that Dan – takes after his father. I wouldn’t listen to what he tells you, or at best would take it with a pinch of salt.’
‘He seems to be popular with my father. He’s teaching Dan everything to do with running the farm. At first I felt sorry for Dan, when he turned up at home after losing both his parents. But he’s got this real cocky edge to him, and I sometimes think he goes out of his way to upset me.’ Meg held back the tears. With Dan giving her cause to be concerned and Sam being bad-mouthed in the shop nearly every day by gossiping shoppers, life was not a bed of roses at present.
‘Do you want to go home, lass? I can understand if you do. It’d mean I’d have to alter my ways, or perhaps put the shop up for sale. You’ve been like a breath of spring air to me. With you and Lizzie, I can see there is something else that life can give me.’ Harry looked across at the young girl whom he had grown fond of, over the last few weeks. She was a good worker and housekeeper. And Mary, God rest her soul, had been right
to ask for Meg to stay until he felt stronger.
‘Oh no, I don’t want to leave. I love it over here. It’s just that I’m frightened that . . .’ Meg paused, realizing what she was about to say made her sound jealous and petty.
‘You are frightened that Dan is taking your place at home. That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it? Well, I can tell you, he’ll never do that. And I know the last few days in the village have been a bit unpleasant, but things will soon settle down. Some other scandal will come along, and folk will be talking about something else when they come into the shop. Who knows, it might even be good news next time.’ Harry grinned. ‘You see, I’m not as blind as you think I am. I’ve noticed you getting upset when folk have come in and done nothing but moan. That’s part of running the shop; you’ve to be there to listen to other folk’s problems, good or bad, and you’ve to take it in your stride.’
‘I know, and you are right about Dan. I am jealous. But I know my father has always wanted a lad, and now he’s got one and I feel he doesn’t want me any more.’ A tear fell down Meg’s cheek.
‘Now you are talking daft. Your mother and father idolize you, like I do. You are the daughter me and Mary never had. Now chin up, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. On Sunday go and see Peggy Dobson after going to chapel. You were with her at the Bartle Fair and she’s a grand lass, although she’s happen a tad too friendly with those Alderson lads.’ Harry looked across at Meg. ‘I hear they were with you, too.’
‘Who told you that?’ Meg looked surprised.
‘Nay, that would be telling. I’m not as daft as I look, and I know you were with Jack and Sam Alderson, and the rest of the company they keep, for the main part of the day. I’ve only just heard, else I’d have been giving you a piece of my mind long before this. Keep those lads at arm’s length, lass; you know my thoughts on them both. Your father and mother wouldn’t like them, and they’ve caused enough scandal around here, without your name being dragged through it and all.’ Harry had heard in the King’s Head of Meg being seen with Peggy and the Aldersons, but had kept it to himself until an opportune moment arose.
‘They aren’t as bad as everyone makes out, Uncle Harry, honestly.’ Meg looked across at her uncle and couldn’t help but wonder how much more he had seen and heard.
‘Nay, they are a bad lot, Meg. You keep away, do you hear? Else I will be sending you back home, whether you like it or not. Go and see Peggy by all means – a lass needs a friend. But the less you have to do with the Aldersons, the better.’
Harry looked stern. He didn’t like the way Meg had risen in defence of the two lads. Perhaps there was more going on than what he’d happened to hear in the pub, when talking to Fred, the landlord. ‘I’m thinking of entertaining myself, on Sunday. I’ve asked Mrs Bannister for Sunday tea, and I thought later in the day you might like to meet her. She’s heard a lot about you, and now that I’ve told you about her, I thought it was time you met. Some folk will be sure to be gossiping about me having another woman so soon after losing Mary, but life carries on and it’s no good being miserable for the rest of your life.’ Harry sat back and looked at Meg as he told her this.
‘I’m glad you are finding happiness with Mrs Bannister. You deserve it, and people should mind their own business. That’s the trouble with busybodies; they always think they know better, and nine times out of ten they know nothing,’ Meg stated with fervour.
‘Well then, that’s settled. Lizzie will be welcomed here for tea, come Sunday. And you go and see Peggy; she’ll not see many folks, being a maid to Reverend Gilpin, and he can be a demanding old sod.’ Harry added, ‘Not like me.’
‘I will go and see Peggy. I’ll lay out tea before I go, though, and then everything is just right for you and Mrs Bannister. I’ll make some tongue sandwiches and a trifle, and then you can help yourselves until I return.’ Meg’s mood lifted. She’d no intention of going to see Peggy, but she could spend the whole day with Sam and no one would ask where she had been. As for Lizzie Bannister visiting, she would not let Harry down when she made them both their teas. Harry could have chastised her a lot harder than he did, because someone had obviously told him that she had been seen with Sam. But Harry walking out with Lizzie, only weeks after the death of his wife, meant that he could not judge her own actions too harshly. However, she’d still play it safe and meet Sam away from the gaze of anyone from the village. And Sunday could not come soon enough.
‘You look worried. Whatever is the matter?’ Meg sat down next to Sam on the fellside and kissed him lovingly on the cheek.
‘Nowt for you to bother about, really, but I do need to talk to you, to clear my head, because it’s so full of rubbish. And I need someone to listen to me, and not judge me. My life is just hell at the moment; and not only mine, but the rest of my family’s as well. My mother gets spat at as she walks around the village; my brother isn’t showing his face outside our home, he’s had that many names called at him, and he can’t hold his own at the moment because of his ribs. And as for me, well, to the locals I’m the Devil himself, if you listen to them talking. The other night we had a stone with a message wrapped around it flung through our kitchen window. It could have killed my ma, if she’d been sitting in her usual chair.’ Sam bowed his head and didn’t dare look at Meg in case his worries got the better of him and he broke down in tears.
‘What did the note say?’ Meg put her arm around Sam and felt him shudder.
‘“Piss off, you bastard – your sort are not wanted here”.’ Sam pulled at the tufts of grass between his legs and threw it into the river in handfuls. ‘I never did anything to Margaret; the baby wasn’t mine, and I didn’t know she was going to top herself from off that bridge. I don’t know what to do,’ Sam lied. He knew that if Meg found out the truth, she would never be his. ‘Our Jack has offered to lend me some money to leave home, just for a short while, but I don’t want to leave you and my mother behind. I love living here in Gunnerside. I always thought it was going to be my home, especially when you came along.’ Sam raged and lied through his teeth as he looked into the distance.
‘I know you are having it hard. All the village seems to be blaming you. I hear them all when they come into the shop and start cursing and slandering you, saying that you should have stood by Margaret. And then I want to tell them that they know nothing, and to mind their own business.’ Meg reached for Sam’s hand. ‘Perhaps Jack is right; perhaps you should get away for a while. Till it all quietens down. It will be old news by this time next year.’ She felt tears rising in her eyes as she looked at Sam and realized how fond she was of him; perhaps even in love with him, if she dared to admit it.
‘No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave you.’ Sam turned and kissed Meg gently on the lips. ‘Unless . . . unless you’d come with me and we could make a new life together. We could get married and I’d get a job working for the railways – they keep advertising for miners and ex-canal men. We could be together forever then, and nobody need know who we both really are and why we are there.’ Sam sounded excited suddenly. ‘Mr and Mrs Sam Alderson: now that’s got a nice ring to it – sounds like a name of distinction to me. We could go places together. You’ve got the looks and I’ve got the gab, so we were made for one another.’
Meg shook her head. ‘No, Sam, I couldn’t do that. I think too much of my mum and dad – I could never leave them. And I’m happy at the moment, helping Harry out at the shop. I know it’s not forever, but I really do enjoy the shop and the customers.’ She gazed into Sam’s eyes and shook her head again, while her heart was being torn apart. She felt her heart race. She was being asked by the lad she loved to marry him and plan a new life with him, but her head was telling her no – she had to stay with the people who really loved and cared for her. Meg knew Sam was fickle; nearly everybody she had talked to recently had told her so. And no matter how much she loved him, he might have his head turned next week by the latest girl to enter the dale. So no matter how much her heart said yes to
his idea, her head said no.
‘But I love you, and this would be our chance to be together. Jack has saved up a tidy sum. It would see us right for at least six months, and I know I’d be able to get a job working for the railway. We needn’t go far; the train lines are coming to neighbouring dales, and I know I’d find work with them. Then we could rent a house and become a respectable couple. When we are settled, you could go back to your parents. They’d never disown you, as you are their precious only daughter and always will be, no matter what you think of them at this minute.’ Sam held Meg tightly in his arms. ‘Please, Meg; please say yes. I do love you – you know I do – and I need to get away, but not without you.’
‘Oh, Sam, think of what you ask of me. I’d be turning my back on everything, and everybody I hold dear to me. You are asking a lot; too much, I fear, no matter how much I love you.’ Meg bowed her head and breathed in heavily, as she didn’t want to lose the man she loved.
Sam lay down by her side and pulled him towards her. ‘I love you, Meg Oversby. I love every inch of you, and I can’t live without you. But I have to leave, as the folk around here will never let me be, whether or not I’m innocent.’ He looked down into Meg’s eyes and kissed her, as his hands felt the curves of Meg’s body and she did nothing to stop him. If he was going to leave, he’d be going on his own – no matter what he had told Meg. But before he left, he was going to have her: another conquest, one of many.
‘We shouldn’t, Sam – this is how we get into trouble,’ Meg whispered as he kissed her neck and lifted her skirts on the warm grassy fellside.
‘Shush, my Meg! Marry me and then there is no problem with what we are about to do,’ Sam whispered. ‘We have both felt this way for a while now. Well, if we leave together, it will make us stronger, knowing each other the way we do.’
Meg could feel tears welling up in her eyes as Sam unbuttoned his trousers and lay on top of her. ‘Sam, we shouldn’t. Please, I don’t want to be the next Margaret Parrington. My family would disown me if I returned to them with child.’ She gasped for breath as Sam kissed her more and more and finally entered her, making her wince.
